Long Live
by lifewillout-always
Summary: AU Grey's Anatomy. Meredith goes off to college where she meets Addison, Mark, and Derek. The story follows four years of undergrad, four years of med school, and beyond as the four build friendships and relationships that will last them a lifetime of memories.
1. I Saw Her Standing There

The summer before heading off to college had been a transformation for Meredith Grey. Showing up at Mass General and being handed her mothers credit card had been a blessing in disguise. Gone was the long, pink hair and in it's place were blonde waves. The black clothes had been tossed to the curb too, replaced with boho dresses, tight jeans that showed off her slim legs, and warm, chunky sweaters to keep her bony frame warm in the cold winters of Long Island. She was off to Yale for undergrad, finally getting away from her mother after 18 long years of being ignored by her. She had graduated school with a 4.0, proving to her mother that she was smart. Or at least it would have proven something to her, if the great Ellis Grey had bothered coming to her only child's graduation, or noticed the report cards Meredith had slipped in her mailbox at work. What did it matter though? She was making her escape. All summer she had worked on her new look, even going so far as to stepping into Vineyard Vines and Lilly Pulitzer, buying out their stock of preppy dresses, pants, and shirts. She was going to be **that** Ivy League girl, with perfect clothes, perfect hair, and perfect grades, toting her textbooks and neatly scrawled notes in a perfectly monogrammed totebag. She had no idea where her latest transformation had come from, but she liked it.

Her hair was pulled into a low ponytail as she loaded the last box into the backseat of her car and she looked back at the house she had grown up in. It was a nice house, she had to admit. It was a beautiful and large townhouse in an older section of Boston, but she had spent more time there with nannies and housekeepers than with her mother. She was excited to finally be on her own, having just turned 18 on July fifteenth. New Haven was only two and a half hours away, but it was good enough that she didn't have to see her mother much, or come home at all if she had to. She knew the name of her roommate – _Addison Forbes Montgomery from Greenwich, Connecticut_ – and she was thrilled to meet the girl in person, having only exchanged a few text messages. Climbing into the drivers seat of her Range Rover, she was off, following the directions of the GPS on her phone.

* * *

Two and a half hours later, Meredith swung into a parking spot just under the hill her dorm was on and she smiled. It had been nothing but her, her music, and the road for two and a half hours. Reaching next to her for her purse, she climbed out of her car, and she could she other freshman and their parents everywhere; she was the only one without a parent but frankly, she didn't care. She followed the signs to one of the main halls, a good 15 minute walk from her car but she didn't care. She needed to get her ID photo taken and pick up her keys. There was a thrill running through her; she was starting the rest of her life and it was exciting. Not looking where she was going, she accidentally ran into someone. "Oh! I'm so sorry," she said, looking up into the deep blue eyes of a guy, looking to be around her age with seemingly perfect hair. "Oh," she breathed, straightening her white lace dress and jean jacket, smoothing her hair away from her face. "Hi," he said to her, a smile on his face. "I'm Derek." "Meredith," she replied, slightly breathless. This guy was perfect looking and she'd managed to crash literally right into him after being on campus less than 20 minutes. "I'm sorry I ran into you, I'm trying to find the building to pick up my keys," she admitted with a blush. "I just came from there actually, it's the next building from here," he told he with a smile. Good, this guy was a freshman too. Today was freshman move-in only. But god, a guy this good looking had to be taken. "Thanks," she managed to get out, moving past him slightly. "I'll see you around Derek," she smiled, giving him a little wave as she went on to the next building, a hop in her step.

Fortunately the line for ID's was moving fast, and in ten minutes she was holding her Yale ID, the one she would have for the next four years. Her photo wasn't terrible, and the thing would be able to get her into all buildings, pay for meals and laundry, and could even pay for stuff at a few stores in New Haven. Picking up her keys was even faster, and in another 20 minutes she was climbing to the fourth floor of Jonathan Edwards College. She and Addison had fought to be in this College; it had the best facilities with old New England architecture that was absolutely stunning. The facilities boasted an art gallery, a buttery catering to students that was open every night with yummy food, computer labs, a dance studio, a gym, a game room, several libraries, printing rooms, music rooms, interview rooms, a kitchen, and a theater. It was dizzying to think that Meredith lived in such a gorgeous place full of history; she was a history nerd and minor despite being pre-med. Finally she reached the room and unlocked it; she had made it first, despite Addison living in Connecticut. The room wasn't huge, but for having two of everything it was spacious. She chose the bed next to the windows and set her bag down on it, taking a peek out of said windows. Their room faced the courtyard of the set of buildings and she smiled.

Hopping off her bed, she decided since the room was empty, it was a great time to get her things from her car. About 20 trips later, since she was doing it alone, everything was in her room and for a moment she looked at the stacked up boxes, containers, and suitcases with a sigh, not knowing where to start, really. A moment later a tall, sophisticated red-head stepped into the room and the two girls assessed each other. "Meredith?" "Addison?" she said with a small smile, before the two girls rushed at each other in a tight hug. "Ohmigosh it's so glad to finally meet you!" Addison gushed, teetering in her heels. "My parents are on their way, they're bringing some more things," she said, nodding to two of the suitcases she'd managed to drag up to the fourth floor with her. In heels. "Where are your parents? You got everything up already?" Meredith merely shrugged. "My mom has surgeries all day and I haven't seen my dad since I was five. I drove down from Boston by myself and got it all up here by myself," she said, shedding her jean jacket and placing it on the back of her desk chair. Addison nodded, knowing a thing or two about absent parents. "Mine are just here to pretend to care about me for a few minutes before they fight all the way home. I went to boarding school most of my life so this is just another chapter of me being invisible," she said with a roll of her eyes, hoisting a suitcase onto her bed so she could start to unpack her clothes. Her parents arrived a few minutes later with several boxes, bickering with each other. They said hello to Meredith with a brief smile, before going back downstairs. This continued for the better part of an hour before they kissed Addison goodbye and suddenly the two 18 year old girls were on their own.

* * *

"So…should we unpack and then find something fun to do on our first night here?" Addison laughed, hanging dresses in her closet and lining up pair after pair of shoes. Meredith was making up her bed and lining up her textbooks on the shelf that the window sill provided. "I like fun," Meredith laughed over the music blasting on her MacBook. She had set up the internet on both of their computers and managed to set up their computers to the buildings wireless printers. Addison had to admit, the girl was smart, and she was glad they were paired together, especially with both of them being pre-med students. Padding around the room barefoot, Mere was grateful Addison had brought a rug to throw down on the cold hardwood floors as she set up a TV and a DVR box, before focusing on unpacking her clothes. She giggled to herself when she realized that she and Addie had extensive wardrobes and would be borrowing from each other most likely.

* * *

Several hours passed with the girls making small chat, before there was a knock on the door. Meredith had no idea who it was going to be when she twisted the doorknob, and to her delight it was the boy from earlier who she had run into. _Derek_ she reminded herself. "Hi," she said with a smile, watching his face as it jumped to surprise. He definitely hadn't been expecting to see her. "Errr..hi Meredith," he managed to get out. "You live across the hall from me," he laughed slightly, shaking his head. She was just as surprised and matched his laugh, playing with the ends of her hair. "So, you live across from me, this should be fun," she giggled, lost in those eyes of his. She wasn't one to believe in love at first sight but boy, was he dreamy. "Would you want to get dinner later tonight in the dining hall downstairs?" he asked her, and Meredith balked a bit. It sounded like he was asking her on a date. Sort of. She'd never done the dating thing before. She'd slept around but dating wasn't her thing. But it could be. She'd reinvented herself. She was still figuring out who she was in this new version of herself…but she could have dinner with a guy. "I'd love to," she smiled, before biting her lip. "I don't want to leave my roommate alone though," she stated. "Oh that's easy, she can hang out with my friend Mark," he said matter-of-fact. "Oh really? And what makes you think she'll go for that? She smirked, teasing him. "Who knows?" he laughed, and Meredith waved him off. "Fine. 6 pm in the dining hall on the first floor," she grinned, her green eyes sparkling. "See you there," she said, turning and shutting the door.

Addison looked up as she returned back to the room; Meredith resuming her task of unpacking clothes and boxes. "Who was that?" she asked. "Our neighbor across the hall. Uh, I ran into him when I was going to get the keys and my ID. He invited me to dinner tonight, and invited you to dinner with his friend," she said as she bit her lip, not wanting to overstep boundaries. Thankfully Addison was cool about it. "Day one and we already have guys? Awesome," she laughed as she tucked her suitcases under her bed, before she got around to making it, fluffing up the pillows. The room was almost finished and Meredith was proud; they just needed to make a trip into town for finishing touches like hooks for hanging things on, lamps, and string lights to light up the ceiling. The room looked nice though, especially with all the empty boxes and containers out of it, which they were instructed to place in an empty storage room down the hall. Meredith felt more at home here than she did in the townhouse in Boston and she smiled, straightening things on top of her dresser and turning the lamp on, before looking around again. Yes, this definitely felt like home to her and already she could see herself and Addison getting along well.

For a moment she climbed onto her bed and closed her eyes, relishing in how comfortable it was after the long day. Suddenly though, she was being shaken awake by Addison. "Mere! It's almost time for dinner!" she said. Apparently Meredith had fallen asleep. She stretched out her arms and legs and took the time to look at herself in the mirror on the back of her closet door, that was identical to Addison's. Luckily her hair was unmarred by her nap, but she needed to change and do her makeup. Quickly she pulled off the white lace dress and replaced it with a navy and white striped strapless dress and the brown sandals she had been wearing earlier. She quickly did her makeup – brown eyeliner and eyeshadow with some mascara and nude lipgloss, before arranging her hair in waves over her shoulders. Addison was dressed somewhat similarly and had replaced her heels with sandals as well, touching up her makeup and hair as well. "You ready for these two potentially creepy guys to hit on us?" Meredith mused with a laugh. Addison tossed her hair back. "Naturally," she smirked, linking arms with Meredith and opening up their door before striding across the hall and knocking on that door. A guy other than Derek opened the door and it threw Meredith off for a minute. "Well hello," he smirked, looking at the two women in his doorway. "I'm Mark and this must be my lucky day," he smirked. Somewhere from within the room Derek groaned and got up, pushing him aside. "This is Mark, he's a manwhore, and I'm so sorry to you," he indicated towards Addison, "that he's with you for tonight."

Addison on the other hand, was inwardly drooling over Mark. The look on her face said it all and Meredith couldn't help but laugh over it. She turned back towards the two guys in the doorway, awkwardly looking down at her feet before looking up at Derek. "I think she's okay with that," she teased, catching Derek's eyes and smiling. He grabbed her hand and flashed a smile. "What do you say we get downstairs and leave these two idiots here?" he laughed, guiding her to the stairwell. He was nice, he had manners, and he was full of chivalry. Meredith, having never dated before, weighed these traits for the better and found herself enjoying his company, the way his hand touched the small of her back, the way his voice sounded – smooth, like honey. He was sweet and he was obviously attracted to her.

They reached the first floor and made their way to the series of buildings until they reached the dining hall, and Meredith had to admit it was beautiful. High vaulted ceilings and stained glass windows, it reminded her of something out of Harry Potter. She remembered seeing it on a tour earlier in the summer, but again, she reminded herself that she lived here now. She could definitely get used to this. They chatted as they got in the line for food, and Meredith learned that he had four sisters; three older and one younger, and he was from Westchester County, New York. He asked her where she was from and about her family and she took a deep breath. "I was born in Seattle but I've lived in Boston since I was five. My mother is a doctor…" she said, trailing off and biting her lip. He raised an eyebrow at that. "You're not okay with her being a doctor and yet you're pre-med?" he laughed, shaking his head. It had already been established that he and Mark were also pre-med, joining her and Addie. "Well. My last name is Grey," she said, not looking up from the buffet, where she was piling her plate with chicken Parmesan. It took Derek a minute but his eyes went wide. "Your mother is Ellis Grey," he said, in complete awe." Meredith looked back at him, her eyes hard. "Yep, the one and only. Fabulous surgeon but she's kind of a terrible mom," she shrugged, grabbing a cup and filling it with diet coke, before they left the kitchen and headed back into the dining room, grabbing a seat at the end of table. She couldn't help but note that Derek was studying her every move with a smile on his face. "What?" she questioned him, taking a sip of her soda. "Nothing, I just can't believe the daughter of the great Ellis Grey is so beautiful and nice. Dr. Grey is pretty unforgiving and hardcore I've heard," he admitted, digging into his meal. Meredith laughed a bit, waving her hand. "Unforgiving and hardcore is an understatement. I grew up like I didn't have a mother, or running around the hospital, watching surgeries in galleries," she admitted. Really, she had been on her own since she was five, when they moved to Boston. She couldn't remember a birthday, or any holidays, that had been spent with her mother. Birthday presents had been given to her, but by the staff that ran their house, not by her mother. Birthday cakes were non-existent, Christmas trees were never put up in the living room surrounded by presents. She'd had friends in school, but had always kept them at arms length. Reinventing herself, in her mind, gave her the chance to have everything she ever wanted at school, maybe even a close knit group of friends and going home with them for the holidays.

"I'm sorry if I hit a nerve," Derek said between mouthfuls of food, and Meredith shook her head. "You didn't. I see college as a new life, getting away from my mom and Boston," she shrugged, twirling pasta around her fork. So far, it was working. She'd met Derek after 20 minutes on campus and despite not being completely won over yet, she was completely enchanted by him. There was loud chatter by the table and she looked up to see Addison and Mark, deep in conversation, heading towards their table. "Looks like we have company," she giggled, finishing up her food and smirking at Derek. "Yes, but what they don't know is we're already finished," he grinned, standing up with his now dirty dishes. Meredith took his cue and also stood up, tapping Addison on the shoulder. "Hey, Addie, I'll see you in the room later okay?" she said, tilting her head towards Derek with a knowing grin. Addison gave her a familiar one, nodding towards Mark. It seemed like the two girls were both taken by the boys across the hall and Meredith really wouldn't change it, despite it being their first day at Yale. It was only Friday and the rest of the weekend involved new student orientation, which was mandatory and Meredith wasn't looking forward to it but whatever, she also had a weekend of amusing herself with Derek. However, she promised herself there would be no sex. Sure there was attraction and flirting, but her reinvention didn't include inappropriate sex with everything that moved.

Leaving the dining hall they made their way to the courtyard, the sun still shining. It was late August and New Haven was still warm. Derek was telling her his own version of growing up and Meredith couldn't help but smile. He was the second youngest, he had four sisters, and Mark had been his best friend since they met on the first day of kindergarten. Mark had parents that sounded a lot of Ellis Grey, and had been an honorary Shepherd since Derek had brought him home from school that day. "That's actually really adorable," she laughed, her hair shining in the sun. "I think kids thought I was weird because I would talk about surgery instead of playing with dolls. I'd rather sit in the gallery and watch complicated surgical procedures than play house with the girls in school," she shook her head. Derek had to laugh at that one. "My three older sisters are doctors. Well. Nancy is a doctor, Kathleen and Lizzie are still in med school, and Amy is only thirteen," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "My dad died when I was ten," he went on, his voice getting softer. They finally reached the courtyard and he dropped to the perfectly manicured lawn, motioning for Meredith to sit with him. She extended her legs and arranged the skirt over her legs, leaning back on her arms. "You're all bright and shiny, I'm so dark and twisty," she laughed, looking over at him. God, she wanted to kiss him. He was perfect. But the new Meredith wouldn't do that. Instead she just enjoyed his company until it grew dark.

He helped her stand up and she fell into him, giggling and apologizing like crazy. Her eyes met his and she moved in closer, wanting so badly to kiss him. Instead he smiled and slipped his hand into hers, leading her back to their building within JE College. They continued talking as they walked up all four flights of steps, right up until they were in front of Meredith's door. She was unable to wipe the smile off her face, and she didn't exactly want to. Derek was everything she should want in a boyfriend. He was charming and handsome, he came from a nice family, and he had similar interests in hers. In her mind though, she felt it was too early for anything. She had just met the guy hours before…it helped that he lived across the hallway, and as they both discovered through their talking, they had three classes together. Freshman year was going to be great. Hell, all four years would, since they were stuck in JE College for four years. "I should probably head into the room and bond with Addison, or something," she said, rolling her eyes slightly with a laugh. He returned her laugh, their hands still entwined. "And I should probably listen to Mark as he regales me with tales of her," he smirked, before leaning in and brushing a kiss to her cheek. "See you tomorrow morning with fun orientation things. It was great meeting you, Meredith Grey." Meredith couldn't help but blush as she fumbled with her room key, looking up at him. "It was amazing meeting you, Derek Shepherd," she replied, finding the right key and practically falling into her room, where Addison pounced on her with a million and one questions.

* * *

 **Let me know what you guys think! I'm nervous with this story but it's also super fun because I don't have to stick to the show, I get to make it up as I go! Feel free to leave feedback and suggestions! As always, REVIEW please!**


	2. Gettin' Along

Meredith and Addison were awoken bright and early at precisely 6 AM by the loudest noises they had ever heard. Meredith groaned and rolled over, pulling her other pillow over her face and trying to go back to sleep, but the noises just grew louder and seemed to march past their dorm room. Suddenly she couldn't take it any longer and flew out of bed to the door, tearing it open and squinting into the hallway, which was filtering with light. A team of people, deemed the welcoming crew, were storming up and down the halls, shrieking at the top of their lungs, waking up the new freshman. Only once they were gone from her highway did Meredith notice Derek was at his door, and she became shy about her tank top and shorts, no bra, and hastily shut the door after blushing deeply.

About an hour later, both girls were dressed in shorts and t-shirts, both boasting the Yale logo, their hair in high ponytails and their feet in sneakers. An email had gone around telling everyone to dress for sports, which had made Meredith groan even more. She so wasn't a sporty person. That didn't mean she wasn't good at sports – she was – she just loathed them. Of course college orientation would mean team sports. And probably bring shoved into groups of other freshman and ugh, Meredith was so not looking forward to this. She and Addison chatted as they got ready, and once they were ready to go, she grabbed her keys and ID on her lanyard and left the room, once again crashing into Derek and Mark.

"Good morning," she mumbled, rubbing sleep from her eyes as she headed downstairs to the dining hall. She needed a cup of strong coffee. "Good morning Meredith," he said to her, bumping into her shoulder, trying to make her smile. "So what are we supposed to do this weekend? Bonding exercises?" she giggled as she got in line at the dining hall. She grabbed a toasted bagel and some cream cheese, filling up a huge cup full of black coffee, a tiny bit of cream, and one sugar. Derek grabbed food of his own with Mark and Addison close behind them, the four of them grabbing their table from the night before. Addison, over a forkful of waffles, rolled her eyes. "If they make us do trust falls I'm sneaking back here," she laughed, her blue eyes shining. The other three had to laugh along with her because it was true. They were so not into this type of thing and would much rather the four of them hang out and do something fun. "I'm sure they're not going to make us do trust falls, Addison, this is Yale," Mark pointed out, stabbing his knife in the air very close to Derek's ear. Meredith merely giggled. "Oh yes, getting 1,300 Freshman to do skill-building exercises, this should be a party," she sad as she drank her coffee, letting the caffeine fill her veins. She toyed with her ponytail and scrunched up her nose a bit, the other three looking at her. "What? I'm so not a sporty person and I have this feeling they'll try and rope us into that. When I still lived in Seattle, my dad signed me up for soccer. The coach blew the whistle and I started crying," she laughed as she remembered tiny, for year old her on the soccer field, screaming for her dad.

None of them could help but laugh along with her, sharing their own failures with sports. Addison had played field hockey for a few years and done crew, and Mark had played football, but Derek had been a band geek, which made Meredith smile like crazy. He was way more on her level than the other two were, not that she didn't love and adore Mark and Addison after only one day.

The four of them seemed to just follow the flow of students to a big white tent on the quad, flopping into four seats in a row. It wasn't quite 8 am yet so they had time, jabbering between the four of them. They were all pre-med which made Meredith excited; they were going through this crazy journey together, a journey of sleepless nights and crazy science classes. Meredith felt like she had a slight grasp on all of this, from years and years of watching her mother perform surgeries and simply from walking around the halls of Mass Gen, but at the same time she doubted herself. Could she actually do this?

At 8am precisely, someone stood up at the podium that was rows in front of them and began giving a speech about the beginning of the new school year, working hard, getting help with the things they needed. Typical new year stuff. They announced that there would be getting to know you activities for all of them, and Mark groaned, causing the rest of them to laugh. "The last thing I want to do is play freaking red rover with our fellow students," Meredith rolled her eyes, eyeing the other three. "What! I'm not a fan of team activities," she laughed, which was the truth. She either fell over, hit herself with whatever ball was in use, or just didn't do anything. The same went for games. She always stood at the sidelines, not wanting to be seen. Deep down she knew it was because she'd probably be the most competitive one out there, letting her perfectionism show. "I say we ditch it and hang out in our rooms," she smirked, laughing quietly. "I have to agree with Meredith," Addison laughed, and then the two boys agreed. As all the students in the tent got up to head off to whatever activity they were told to go, the four of them sprinted in the other direction back to their rooms, deciding on the girls room to hang out in today.

* * *

Once they were there they settled down comfortably on the beds, Derek with Meredith and Mark with Addison, they began chatting. "Why did you choose pre-med Addison?" Derek asked. Addison was in the middle of eating a yogurt and she grimaced, licking off her spoon. "I wanted the longest program to keep me away from my parents divorce," she said truthfully. "Bizzy and The Captain finally decided after 25 years of marriage that they hate each other and oh, it's bitter. My brother is a senior at Harvard and I couldn't wait to get away. Mind you, they'd hated each other our entire lives, I don't understand how they managed to have two children," she said with a shrug. Meredith had to nod in sympathy. "I don't think my mom ever planned to get pregnant. My entire life she told me I was a bother and a nuisance, always in her way. She told me I was too ordinary to be a doctor, and that I didn't have what it takes. I spent my entire life with nannies or the staff of the house because my mom just didn't care. When I was eleven she said I was too old for a nanny," she said with a shrug. "After eleven I was pretty much on my own, we've always had a housekeeper and a cook and such so I didn't starve but I started to rebel. My dad left when I was 5 because my mom was having an affair with a fellow resident," she said with another shrug. All three of her friends looked at her, putting the pieces together. "Your mom is Ellis Grey," Addison said, shocked slightly. "That would be her," Meredith said with a slight eye roll. "Complete genius, winner of four Harper Avery's, and a failure at being a mother. You don't have to be sorry for me; I have plans to become a fantastic neurosurgeon and be greater than she is," she smirked pulling her hair down from it's ponytail and raking her fingers through it. Derek smiled and touched the back of her hand. "I have four sisters. Four of them. One is a doctor, one is in med-school, and one is going to be in med school next year. Cornell. My little sister is thirteen. One brother," he said, nodding to Mark, who grinned. "On the first day of kindergarten Mark waited an hour for his dad, so Mom and I brought him home and he's been my brother ever since." Meredith couldn't help but smile and leaned into him. It sounded just like something he would do, even though she had only known him for about 24 hours. Mark spoke up now. "My parents were absent like yours, Meredith," he shrugged, leaning against the wall. Meredith simply nodded, knowing how much it sucked. "Yeah but you know what? The four of us have each other now, screw our parents. Except Derek's because they sound amazing," she laughed, turning to him. Derek could only grimace. "It's just my mom now," he said softly. "Dad died when I was 10. It's…a long story. Not for today." Meredith nodded in understanding.

* * *

After watching a movie and hanging out in the girls room, the four of them grew bored. "Let's play a game, let's play never have I ever," Addison suggested, as they grabbed pillows and sat down in the middle of the room. Meredith was comfortable on an oversized pillow between Addison and Derek and she made a face. She was going to lose. "I'm going first," she declared, even though she knew she was going to lose horribly. "Never had I ever…had sex in a dorm room," she laughed, while immediately one of Marks fingers went down. Damn, did he and Addison get up to something last night? Derek shook his head at his friend before going next. "Never had I ever kissed a beautiful girl at college," he teased, looking right at Meredith. She blushed, looking down at her hands before looking back up at him. Dammit, now she was picturing his lips on hers. Addison was next. "Never have I ever…." She started, rolling her neck. "Kissed a girl." Damn. Mark, Derek, and Meredith all had fingers that dropped.

Soon enough they added alcohol and things got very, very specific in the game. They all didn't know each other too intimately besides Derek and Mark, but things were getting drunken and hilarious which was pretty great. They were getting to know each other and it was fabulous. Plus, it wasn't even noon and they were drunk, which made their Saturday even better. Thank god for chocolate whipped vodka and chocolate milk, their poison of the day. Soon though, they were just dissolved into giggles and in a pile on the floor, no one remembering a thing. Derek's hand was in Meredith's again and she didn't want it to leave it. Every so often she would squeeze his, receiving a squeeze in return. She would look over at him with a huge, dopey smile on her face, giggling like crazy as she moved closer, but every time they all tried to talk about something, she somehow moved away.

* * *

Eventually Mark and Addison decided they were going to go downstairs and get food for everyone and bring it upstairs. Meredith decided in that moment she was going to get changed, and maybe after lunch (and sobering up) the four of them could go into New Haven to see what the town had. Once Mark and Addison were gone, Meredith found the strength to get up. "Don't turn around," she giggled, heading to her closet to pick out something to wear, knowing Derek's eyes were on her every move. She picked out a lavender lace dress that flared at the waist and pulled it on. "Derek?" she mumbled as she heard him stand up. "Can you zip me up the back?" she asked him, and in a few moments she felt his hands zipping up the back of her dress, moving her hair off her shoulders, and kissing her neck. She felt tingles down her spine and sucked in her breath, reaching back and touching him. She couldn't deny that she liked the kisses as she turned around, looking up at him. "You," she breathed, before his lips were on hers and she was lost in him. Maybe it was the alcohol still talking in her head, but it had taken them less than 24 hours to kiss. To her, she could feel the chemistry raging through both of them. She had felt it the moment she had crashed into him in the quad the day before, and she'd been feeling it practically radiating through both of their doorways since they had moved in yesterday. She'd basically been counting down on how long it would take for them to kiss and this was slightly shorter than she had been counting on, but she didn't exactly care. She pulled back slightly to look at him and took a deep breath, tasting the alcohol on his breath. She smiled and sighed contently; this was bliss. Sure she'd spent much of her teenage years having inappropriate sex with too many different people, but this felt right, this felt different from those years.

Derek pulled her close at the waist and kissed her again, running his fingers through her hair and smiling. "You're gorgeous," he stated, and she blushed deeply. She may have been with guys before but no one was like Derek Shepherd, no one made her feel this way before. She felt like a girl, she felt pretty, and she felt cared about, something that no one in her life had ever made her feel before. But it still freaked her out. While she wanted him, commitment still scared her slightly. She knew right now in the moment he wasn't asking for any sort of commitment, they were just kissing, but what would happen the day he did ask for commitment? If he ever did of course, but he seemed like the commitment type of guy. For now she didn't care, she just kissed him back with everything she had.

* * *

 **Thank you so much for all the reviews for the first chapter! I was completely floored and overwhelmed! I figured I'd give you the second chapter :) Will be starting to write the third tonight! Keep reading and reviewing guys, it makes me so happy!**


	3. Across the Stars

Monday morning came too soon, and Meredith groaned and rolled over when her alarm went off at 7am on the dot. She had an 8am English class, trying to get it out of the way so she didn't have to think about it for the rest of the day. She hit snooze no less than three times before finally crawling out of bed, wishing she could stay in it's cozy confines for the rest of the morning. She headed towards her closet, throwing a black sundress on and slipping into black flip flops, hastily running a brush through her hair and dabbing some makeup on. Not much, just some eyeliner, a bit of eyeshadow, and some nude lipgloss, before grabbing her bag and rushing downstairs to the dining hall. Her breakfast choices were endless so she grabbed waffles and sausage with a large cup of black coffee, flopping down at the table the four of them had already designated as theirs, and pulling out her schedule. She was lost in the schedule, figuring out how much time she had to run between buildings on campus, that she didn't notice Derek sitting down across her. "Penny for your thoughts?" he teased her as she looked up with a grin. "Sorry, just trying to figure out my schedule. Why am I a molecular, cellular, and developmental biology major again?" she questioned him as she looked down at her schedule again. Today alone she had The Science and Politics of Cancer, Current Topics in Science, and Reading Poetry for Craft. Tuesdays and Thursdays she had a freshman seminar on Immunology and Microbes, and Intermediate/Advanced French, having placed into it.

"I think I'm going to die this semester," she groaned, passing him her schedule. Luckily he was in her science classes and her Freshman seminar by sheer dumb luck and they were going to get through this hell together. Taking a bite of her waffles she sighed heavily, knowing she had overloaded herself for the semester in order to gain her mothers approval; she should've learned after 18 years that nothing would ever earn her mothers approval. She continued eating, making small talk with Derek and avoiding talk of all the kissing they had done over the weekend, before unlocking her phone and looking at the time. "Fuck, I have to run! English awaits," she pouted, grabbing her dishes and setting them in the bins to be cleaned before dashing out of the building and across campus.

* * *

So far college seemed just like high school. Slip into a seat, get a syllabus, go over it with the professor, and be completely bored. At least English seemed easy enough. Poetry wasn't exactly something that made her tick, but it was easy enough to interpret and she had a few favorite poems she liked. Class was dismissed early and she left the small room with no destination in mind. It was a pretty, late August day, the sun shining brightly and she smiled, looking at her surroundings. Yale was a gorgeous school and she felt lucky to be here, and lucky to have made friends already. More like instant best friends. She could tell the next four years here was going to be a blast.

Wandering down a wayward path, she ran into Derek, who was making his way towards one of their shared classes. He grabbed her hand and smiled at her, his eyes warm. "How was your dreaded English class?" he laughed, and she scrunched up her nose. "We did absolutely nothing. Syllabi are completely boring and I hate when professors insist on going over every single thing on them like we can't read them ourselves. Like hello, we're at an Ivy League school, I'm pretty sure we can read," she said with an eyeroll. She was just annoyed she'd gotten out of bed at 7:30am for absolutely nothing, really. "Come on or we'll be late for this stupid Current Topics class," he grinned, their hands swinging between them. She liked this, this thing between them, this closeness that wasn't quite a relationship but was heading towards there. She could feel it and surprisingly she wasn't shying away from it like she normally would.

They eventually found the lecture hall, which took Meredith's breath away. This here was college. A giant lecture hall that sat 250+ students, who were filing in around them. "Come on," Derek smiled, leading her to two seats somewhat in the middle of the hall, on the aisle. She flopped into her seat and pulled out a notebook and a pen, sighing. "I'm pretty sure the only redeeming quality the science courses have are the fact that you're in them," she whispered to him with a giggle, her eyes shining. She wished it was appropriate to sneak him a kiss right now, but she wouldn't, not in the middle of everything and certainly not on their first day of class. No matter now smitten she was with him, she was here to be taken seriously and not be called out on the fact that her last name was Grey. She had big shoes to follow in, and as the professor took roll, she couldn't help but sigh. She knew most of the people in this class would be pre-med students, and therefore would know her name.

Sure enough, after the professor announced that this was the only time he would be taking attendance this semester and the rest he would be holding the students accountable for, he started calling out their names. When he came to Meredith's name he raised an eyebrow as she felt all eyes on her as she shrunk in her seat. "Present," she mumbled, casting her eyes down at her notebook. Derek couldn't he but laugh at her embarrassment and she elbowed him hard.

Luckily this class wasn't long, just looking over the syllabus as well, and the pair were out and breaking the fresh New England air. "I hate you, you know," she laughed. Her hand slipped into his once again and they were off, heading back towards their rooms. She wanted a nap desperately; their next class wasn't for three more hours. She wasn't even hungry at this point, she just wanted sleep. Her huge cup of coffee from this morning hadn't done anything to keep her awake and as they walked and she thought of her bed, her head grew heavier and heavier. "You want to hang out when we get back? Get started on some of the readings? Make out some more?" he teased her. She couldn't help but laugh at the boldness of him wooing her and she leaned in, sneaking a quick kiss. "Honestly…I just want to take a nap," she admitted, then blushed before leaning in again. "You're more than welcome to join me," she whispered.

That was how she found herself two and a half hours later, in shorts and a tank top, wrapped up in her sheets and in Derek Shepherd. They hadn't had sex, just fallen asleep wrapped up in each other, but waking up like this was definitely something she could get used to. Stretching gently, she yawned before checking her phone. Ugh, they had 30 minutes before class. Rolling gently into Derek, she buried her face in his chest. As much as she loved Addison and Mark, she was grateful for being alone during the day so far so that she and Derek could have alone time. The four normally hung out at night for tv/movie watching, and take out eating, or at least they had the first couple nights. Meredith didn't see that changing.

"Der," she whispered, inhaling deeply, sinking further into the bed. "Derbear," she tried, raking her fingers through his hair. His eyes flickered open and down to her with a smile. "Hey gorgeous," he smiled, his lips touching hers in a tender kiss. "We have class soon," she pouted, curling up even more in his arms. If she had her way they'd stay there all day. Groaning a bit, she sat up and blinked, sliding off the bed and grabbing her dress off the back of her chair slipping back into it, feeling Derek's gaze on her. She finally turned around, flipping her hair out and clasping her necklace around her neck again, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "Come on, let's get syllabus hell out of the way," she teased him.

* * *

After class, the pair finally decided to part ways…that was until Derek opened his door and started yelling. Meredith rushed to his side and grimaced, wishing she could throw acid in her eyes. Mark and Addison were naked in Marks bed. Not only that but they were very much having sex. "Shut the door Derek!" Meredith hissed, trying to be both disgusted and amused right now. "Right. Yes,' he said, shutting the door as Meredith dragged him across the hall and shut her own door. "I think we've been too wrapped up in ourselves to pay attention to them," she laughed, shaking her head as the pair collapsed on Meredith's bed. "That escalated quickly," Derek said, running his fingers through his hair. Sure he'd walked in on Mark having sex before, but clearly not with Meredith's roommate. Meredith merely shrugged it off. "If the man wants to have sex let him. And if he wants to have sex with Addie, let her," she said, not too fussed about it. Perhaps it was her own teenage promiscuity that made her not too bothered, plus she knew Addison was a big girl.

Her mind couldn't help but wander to Derek, though. Was he expecting sex from her? Sure they'd kissed and fooled around, but _did he expect it?_ She sighed, wishing she could read his mind. She knew he wanted her, that was for sure, but to what level? She slid her hand into his wish a small sigh, and he dropped a kiss on her forehead. "Let's get dinner off campus?" he asked her, and she looked up at him hopefully. "My treat," he continued. This sounded an awful lot like a date to her, but she surprisingly didn't mind. "Dinner with you, off campus," she mused, playing with the ends of her hair. "Are you asking me out on a date?" she grinned, her smile wide. "I do believe I am, Miss Grey," he countered, closing the distance between them and catching her in a deep kiss. "Change into something nicer while I try and get in my room, I'll knock on the door when I'm ready," he smiled before leaving the room. Once he was gone she couldn't help but jump up and down a little, twirling around in front of her mirror in circles. She felt like she was fourteen, going on a date with the most popular boy in school. _She was going on a freaking date with Derek Shepherd!_ She rushed to her closet and pulled out a teal dress, with a deep V in the front that tied at her lower back, leaving her completely backless. Slipping her feet into cream colored wedges, she grabbed a cardigan just in case. Derek hadn't returned yet so she looked at her hair and plugged in the curling iron, curling her hair and then combing out the curls so she had nice waves. She had never been a makeup girl but she put on more than what she usually wore, brushing blush over her freckled cheeks. Slipping her ID, a credit card, mints, and lip gloss into a clutch she borrowed from Addison, she finally heard a knock on the door and went over to answer it.

Derek was freshly showered and in a red button-up and black pants, smelling like aftershave. If she was a swooning-type, she would definitely swoon. As it was, he absolutely took her breath away, although it was him who sucked in a breath upon seeing her. "You look gorgeous," he said easily, taking her hand and giving it a squeeze. She blushed, waving her hair out of her eyes. "Thank you," she said timidly, as he led her downstairs and out to his car. He opened the passenger side door for her and she balked slightly, before realization swept over him. "You've never done this before," he said in awe, looking at her as amazement swept over him. "I've never done this before," she admitted as she got comfortable in her seat, him rushing to the other side and climbing in, Meredith looking down at her hands.

"Mere, look at me," he said, Meredith looking up at him with an embarrassed look on her face. "There's going to be more nights like this. There's going to be cheesiness, and flowers, and romance. And me always being there whether we fight. I'm going to treat you like you're a princess, like you're a queen, like you're the only person in the entire world that matters," he promised her, then cleared his throat. "Well, that is, if you let me, we've only known each other for a few days, I mean…" he said, clearing his throat. She blushed deeply then reached for his hand again. "Okay," she said with a nod of his head. She wasn't sure if she just agreed to be his girlfriend, but she think she just did. "I….I can definitely get used to romance and flowers and cheesiness. And it doesn't matter that we just met a few days ago, Derek. I feel…I've never felt like this before," she admitted, wishing the center console wasn't there so she could be on his lap. Leaning across it sufficed, and she locked him in a long kiss. "So…dinner?" she smiled, giggling slightly.

* * *

Dinner was nice, just the two of them without the stress of classes or running into Mark and Addison. Not that they didn't love hanging out with their friends, it was just nice knowing that they had some true time alone tonight. Derek spoke more in depth about his family, about being the only male in a sea of women and Meredith had to laugh. Being an only child she couldn't even begin to imagine how crazy that must have been. "Yeah, and so far four of us are either doctors or going to be doctors, and Amelia says she wants to be one too," he laughed. Meredith smiled, knowing how that went. "Well, I was going to run off and never go to college but I decided to be a doctor and piss my mother off," she said truthfully, shrugging her shoulders. He couldn't help but laugh at that. "I almost picked Harvard but then I know my mother would've stormed into my room screaming, so I settled for Yale. And I'm pretty glad I decided to come here," she smiled at him as the waiter came back with a bottle of red wine for the two of them. Looking older than 18 definitely had it's perks. She sipped her wine and smiled at him over the candles, wondering how this happened. She had only met him Friday; it was Monday. She so wasn't the type to get caught up in romance but she felt herself falling for him every time he looked at her. It was his eyes, those deep blue eyes, that caught her and swept her away. Hook, line, sink. She was gone.

* * *

 **Happy new year! This is my new years gift to you guys I hope you liked this chapter! Next chapter will be a little time hop, just a month at most, maybe 6 weeks. I'm so overwhelmed at the amount of reviews the last chapter got! You guys are fantastic and I love you so much!**

 **I'm developing another AU fic for Grey's so keep your eyes out! I haven't started it yet but I will be later tonight :)**

 **EDIT: Okay so reviews aren't showing up! It says I have reviews to read but I can't see them :( I'm pretty bummed but excited I have reviews! Working on the new fic right now :)**


	4. Into the Fire

By now it was the end of September and New Haven was starting to look like fall. Gone were the days of scandalously short sundresses and doing homework in beautiful, sunny courtyards; homework was done exclusively in dorm rooms or in the corners of the library, where studying and snuggling were synonymous. GThe days were growing shorter and it was getting darker earlier, but the trees were bursting with color, something Meredith loved.

She was growing closer to Mark and Addison, who were turning out to be some of the best friends she had ever had, despite their penchant for sneaking off to have sex. She wasn't any better though; she and Derek had been dating for a month now and had been spending every waking hour together that they possibly could. They hadn't had sex yet – for some reason she kept putting it off and putting it off, wanting it to be something special that she was holding out for, and she knew he respected that.

Tonight though was different. It was their one month anniversary and she realized she was ready, after knowing that after being together for a month, she was head over heals. She'd gotten the key to the student kitchen in their building and somehow managed to make a meal – shrimp scampi with pasta and a few bottles of reisling. After cooking, she set everything all up on the small, low coffee table she and Addison had in her room, making sure to keep everything warm. Derek had a class until 6:30 and it was only 6.

In the meantime she hopped in the shower, taking her good time. Shaving her legs (among other things) was a priority, and so was making sure she smelled like lavender everywhere. If she had learned anything in the past month, it was that she knew he loved that she smelled like lavender. It was something he mentioned everyday and she smiled as she rinsed her hair, the lavender smell clinging to the walls of the shower. She reflected on the past month, of unconventional dates and kisses, of falling asleep in each others arms, of rushing around campus drunk some nights and making a list of places to make out and have some fun. She couldn't help but grin as she stepped out of the shower and made her way back to her room, picking out a dress to wear. Tonight was black lace with grey tights, and a pair of black ankle boots. Quickly dressing, she did her hair and makeup, inspecting herself in the mirror before going across the hall to find Addison.

Addison and Mark were of course there, this time not having sex but just cuddled up watching a movie. Meredith sighed and bit her lip.

"Addie do I look okay?" she stressed, standing right between them and the TV. Addison raised an eyebrow at the other girl for disturbing their peace, but then she realized how nervous she was.

"Mere you look great. Derek adores you, he's not going to care what you're wearing," she promised, climbing off the bed to inspect her. She looked at what she was wearing, how her hair was done, and smiled.

"Honestly, you look perfect. We both know you have a great sense of style. Go get him," she grinned, hugging her roommate. Mark decided now was the time to speak up.

"Come on Grey, you're hot, what more could Derek want?" he laughed, rolling his eyes. "The guy is head over heals in love for you, you could be in a trashbag and he'd go for you," he promised.

Meredith flashed a smile at both of them, glad she had them when she was a neurotic mess about impressing Derek. He'd seen her at her worst, first waking up in the morning with her hair sticking out every which way, her clothes rumpled.

"Look guys, I've never done this before okay? I'm allowed to be a little neurotic about it!" she cried out, crossing her arms over her chest before leaving the room in a huff. Once she was back in her own room, she made sure she food was still hot and started lighting candles all around the room. It was probably a good thing that she and Addison had a huge obsession with candles, because there were at least 50 in there, plus the ones she put on the little and lit with the candle lighter. She took one last look at herself in the mirror before grabbing two oversized pillows from the bed and putting them on either side of the table. She was never a romantic but dammit, Derek had ruined her.

* * *

It wasn't long after 6:30 when she heard a knock on the door. Meredith had been rocking back and forth on her feet for awhile and pacing about the room, when she sprung into action, running to the door with a smile.

"Hi!" she grinned at Derek, enveloping him in a huge hug and a deep kiss, which he returned.

"Mm well hello there," he grinned, his arms around his tiny girlfriend. "To what do I owe this pleasure?" he laughed.

"Well it's kind of our one month anniversary and I wanted to do something special," she giggled, tugging him into the room and shutting the door behind him.

Derek looked around the room and smiled. For a girl who had never done the relationship thing before, she certainly knew how to do things. Candles everywhere, dinner on the little table, her bed looking oh so inviting.

"It's perfect," he smiled, as she led him to the small table. They both plopped down on the oversized pillows and she pulled the lids off of the of what she made and he laughed.

"When did you learn how to cook?" he teased her, taking a zip from his glass of wine.

"When I learned how to read a recipe," she giggled, leaning across the table and giving him a kiss. The pair ate in silence for a few minutes, enjoying Meredith's first attempt at cooking, which ended up being surprisingly delicious, finishing off the bottle of wine. After dinner Meredith moved everything to the side and the pair ended up on her bed.

"You're pretty amazing," he whispered gently, peppering kisses down her neck. She leaned back against him and moaned quietly, her eyes closing at his touch. He knew just the right places to touch to get a rise out of her. She moved his hand down to her breast and bit her lip, letting him roam around on top of her clothes before she gently turned around, pushing him back slightly. She kicked off her shoes and let him fall on top of her pillows, hovering over him.

"I love you," she said as she suspended herself over him, meaning every word. He looked up at her, complete adoration in his eyes as he touched her cheek.

"I love you too," he said with a smile, hardly even daring to think how hard it was for her to say those three little words, knowing how much trust she put in him, knowing how difficult it was for her to admit to anyone at all that she loved them. But she did, she loved him more than she had ever loved anyone in her entire life.

"Make love to me," she whispered in his ear, and that was all it took. She could feel him bulging in his pants and her hand slipped down to touch him, her lips glued to his. He worked her dress over her head, tossing it to the floor as she unbuttoned his shirt, which ended up on the floor as well.

* * *

An hour later, the pair laid peacefully together in Meredith's bed. Meredith was curled up in his arms, her eyes closed. She wasn't asleep, just happy, possibly happier than she had been in her entire life. She could feel Derek's heart beating and she smiled, rolling onto her side and turning in close to him. She could feel him stirring beside her and his arms tighten around her.

"I love you Mere," he whispered into her hair, and she smiled, curled into his arm body under her blankets.

"I love you too," she smiled, looking up as him as she locked him into a kiss. He was amazing, he was perfect, and meeting him was by chance, just as much as him living across the hall from her had been by chance. She had no idea how she'd gotten so lucky but the past month had proven that her life had changed for the better in so many ways.

* * *

It had been two weeks since they had first day sex, two weeks since they first said 'I love you' to one another. Fall break was coming up fast and Meredith wasn't sure what she was doing. Returning to Boston was an option, and Addison had invited her to her house as well. Break started on Wednesday; it was the Monday before and Meredith knew she had to make a choice. It was getting colder still and Meredith had traded her cute little sundresses for jeans and boots with scarves and leather jackets. Before breakfast she was looking at her appearance in the mirror, before exiting her room and walking across the hall, knocking on the door to Derek and Mark's room. Mark answered the door and ushered her inside; Derek was still gathering his things.

"Good morning," she said wryly with a smile on her face, watching him grab his coat and the remainder of his books as he prepared to go downstairs with her.

"Good morning to you too," he grinned, placing a kiss on her lips. "And how are you today?" he asked her.

"Pretty good. Debating where the hell I'm going Wednesday," she said, shrugging her shoulders. At this point he had grabbed his things and they were out the door, halfway down the stairs.

"You could always come to New York with me," he suggested, and she tripped on the stairs slightly.

"What? I mean. Really?" she asked, looking up at him, her eyes wide.

"Why not? You're my girlfriend and my mom is begging to meet you, and so are my sisters. Fall break would be a good chance for them to meet you, that way you have to come home with me for Thanksgiving and Christmas. And you can't even argue that you have other plans, since we both know your mother won't be home." Meredith stayed quiet for a few moments, biting her lip. A part of her, the part that was still the old high school girl who didn't get attached, didn't want to go. But the new Meredith wanted to be the girl that met his family, that bonded with his sisters, that came home with him on weekends.

"I'll come home with you, then," she grinned, reaching up and giving him a kiss.

* * *

Two days later, Meredith found herself in the passenger seat of Derek's car, on their way to his mother's house in Westchester. She was incredibly nervous to meet Derek's family and it showed; she knew Derek could tell and he was doing everything he could to make her feel better.

"Come on Mere, they're going to love you. You've done nothing but make me happy and make me a better person, plus you're great. They'll love you," he insisted as they grew closer and closer to his house. Meredith sighed and looked up at him, fiddling with the music.

"It's not that. It's just. I've never done this before. Met parents, or families. I mean, I met Addie's parents but they're trainwrecks like mine are. And I've met parents of my friends. But you're not my friend, you're my boyfriend, and I need your mom and sisters to like me," she blushed, changing the song and squeezing his hand. She desperately sought his family's approval, probably because she didn't have the approval of her own family.

Finally the pulled into the driveway of the large white house, and Meredith took a deep breath. Derek ran around to her side of the car and helped her out, her hand immediately locking in his. They walked up to the front door and Derek unlocked it, calling out when they were inside.

"Mom?" he called, and an older blonde woman came out of the kitchen, drying a pan. Meredith immediately decided that Derek got his looks from his dad.

"Hey sweetheart, I haven't seen you in almost two months," she said, hugging her son before morning onto Meredith. "And you must be Meredith," she said, smiling widely as she pulled the girl into her arms. "You're more beautiful than my son can describe," she grinned, holding her close. Meredith couldn't help but smile as she hugged Mrs. Shepherd back, before pulling away.

"It's so nice to finally meet you, Mrs. Shepherd," she said with a smile, before Mrs. Shepherd shook her head. "Please, call me Carolyn," she smiled, ushering the pair into the kitchen where she had been cooking and baking all day. "Your sisters aren't home yet, and Amelia is on her way from school, but they're all looking forward to spending the weekend with the two of you."

Meredith couldn't help but smile; for the first time in her entire life she felt welcomed and loved. Carolyn left the room and she leaned across the table and gave Derek a kiss.

"Come on, let's go get our things upstairs before the demons descend on us," he laughed, and she grabbed her jacket again as they headed back outside. She grabbed her duffel bag along with the totebag she used as a backpack, swinging both over her shoulders and following Derek into the house again. She followed him up the stairs and down the long hallway into his bedroom, where she deposited things at the end of his bed, looking around with a smile. There were Yankees posters on the walls, band awards on his bookshelves, along with several book series she had grown up loving, along with medical textbooks that lined the shelves of her mothers library. Out his windows she could view a huge backyard with basketball hoops, a shed, and a pool. She pictured him growing up here, happily, with his sisters, and she smiled widely.

"Penny for your thoughts?" he asked her, arms sliding around his waist.

"Your house is beautiful," she smiled, turning around and kissing him, her hands running through his hair. He laughed and ducked down, returning the kiss.

"I'm sure the house of Ellis Grey is much more beautiful," he teased and she couldn't help but laugh.

"That's because Ellis Grey is never in it," she said with a roll of her eyes, as she heard the front door open again and a lilting voice echo upstairs. Derek dropped his hands from her waist and stepped back.

"That would be Amelia," he sighed, taking Meredith's hand and leading her downstairs to the kitchen. There was a girl there, shorter than Meredith, who could be the female clone of Derek. She had long dark hair pulled back into a neat braid and wore a neat and clean Catholic school uniform. She was leaning over the counter eating a muffin, but her head snapped up when she heard the noise in the doorway. Meredith noticed that she had the same piercing blue eyes as her brother.

"Derbear!" she cried out, abandoning her muffin and throwing herself at her older brother. He laughed and spun her around as she rapidly began asking him questions.

"How's college? Are they feeding you there? Are you smarter than your professors? Nance and Liz said they felt like they were. Kath always says she feels like she's falling around and isn't ready for med school. It's super lonely without you, with just me and mom, I'm like an only child now. Hi, I'm Amelia, it's nice to meet you," she eventually said as she turned to Meredith with a smile. She was thirteen years old and filled with the hyper energy of the eighth grader that she was. She was friendly and fun, and Meredith could sense the edge of competition in her that would eventually make her a good doctor, should that be the route she chose to take, though between Derek and Mark, she knew all the Shepherds either were or wanted to be doctors.

"Hi, I'm Meredith," she said, reaching down and enveloping the girl in a hug. She was sweet and literally could pass as Derek's twin, although from the photos that lined the halls of the house, all of the Shepherds looked exactly alike and could pass as each other's twins. It was comical and wonderful.

"I have homework to do, mom always makes me come home and do it, so I'll see you guys later," Amelia pouted, grabbing a second muffin and her school bag, hauling everything upstairs.

"She's cute," Meredith mused, leaning against the kitchen counter and grinning.

"She's a demon," Derek laughed, rolling his eyes. "She's a demon in sheeps clothing. She makes you think she's cute but really, she's pure evil. Much like the other girls," he said, as the door opened again, with another loud hello. "In the kitchen," Derek bellowed, and in a few seconds appeared the oldest Shepherd sister, Nancy.

"Der! You're home!" she exclaimed with a smile, rushing over to her little brother. Nancy was an OBGYN at NYU, but lived outside of the city with her fiancé. "And you must be Meredith," she smiled, reaching past Derek to hug her. "We've all heard so much about you from both Mark and Derek, Derek is certainly hung up about you," she smiled, and Meredith blushed, hugging his sister tightly. So far, so good. Two of the four sisters liked her. "I hear you're also pre-med, what do you want to do?" Meredith managed to find her voice and cleared her throat.

"Well my mother went into General, I'm like Derek and want to go into Neuro. We were sort of baffled when we met, when we realized we had several classes together, we both were pre-med, we both wanted to go into Neuro. I mean, it was sort of just pure fate, you know?" Meredith had to shake her head and laugh. She didn't really believe in fate or destiny, just in really really good luck. "Mark went to Addison's parents this weekend, if you were wondering," she teased, knowing Nancy grew up with Mark in the house as well. Nancy nodded, playing with her engagement ring.

"I managed to get off of work for a few days, my fiancé Danny is a doctor too but he wasn't so lucky, he does cardio and he's a few years ahead in his residency and they just couldn't spare him," she said with a shrug, grabbing a bottle of water out of the fridge. Meredith nodded solemnly.

"My mom is a surgeon but my dad wasn't. I guess that was their downfall," she said with a shrug, rolling her shoulders. "I don't really remember much of it," she laughed slightly. It was true, though. She remembered being in Seattle, and then she remembered being in Boston. That was it, really. Now she lived in Connecticut.

In the next moment two loud voices simultaneously came through the front door and Derek heaved a sigh.

"It's the rest of the wolves," he groaned, and Meredith and Nancy laughed.

"Hey, come on, Nancy is nice and Amelia is cute," Meredith grinned, as Kathleen and Lizzie stepped into the kitchen, zeroing in on Derek. As she remembered, Kathleen was getting her PHD and Lizzie was in the middle of med school. They attacked their little brother, teasing everything about him, before spotting Meredith leaning against the center island, eating a muffin and drinking a bottle of water.

"Oooh Derek, where have you been hiding her?" they teased him, moving over to Meredith.

"Hi I'm Kathleen, I'm the second oldest," she said, reaching out to hug Meredith with a smile.

"I'm Lizzie," she grinned, tucking her curly black brown hair behind her ears. Lizzie seemed to be only a few years older than she and Derek were; she still carried with her the freshness of youth that Kathleen and Nancy no longer had.

"We like you already, we've decided," Nancy said coyly, the three sisters gathering around Meredith. Meredith stood on her tiptoes to look at Derek.

"Der, help!" she called, and he could only laugh and blow her as kiss as she was dragged away to the living room, soon to be joined by Amelia.

* * *

 **Ahhh I'm so happy they FINALLY fixed reviews! It was so amazing reading all your reviews when I was able to! This chapter was fun and came so easily**

 **I wrote three chapters of an AU Ballet Grey's fic while reviews were down, I'm debating posting it or not! Thoughts? Feelings? I like it but I want to know your feelings!**

 **Took a review to consideration and separated dialogue so I hope it's much easier to read this way!**

 **Will be updating Dreams on Fire tomorrow! I wrote most of this chapter at my new job – I quit my old job and now I'm a nanny, so I have lots of time on my computer during the day.**

 **As for this being Maddison, it's predominately MerDer with hints of Maddison and I apologize to those who were hoping for more Maddison! There will probably be more in the future but for now I'm still fleshing out MerDer so it's harder to flesh out two couples.**

 **Anyway, read and review, and let me know about my third AU story!**


	5. Only You

Meredith couldn't believe that she was having such a great time at Derek's childhood home. His sisters were funny and nice, plus his mother was amazing. She felt at home here, and felt more loved than she ever had in her entire 18 years. His mother was constantly asking how she was, if she needed anything to bring back to school, and was always asking her what her favorite meals were in order to make them while she and Derek were home. It was like a dream being here, walking through the big and airy white house, giggling with his sisters, sharing inside jokes that had been started just a day or two ago.

So far her favorite was Lizzie. She was closest in age to her and Derek and therefore understood her the most. She had just been in college a year before; she had graduated from Columbia with an under-grad in Biology, before moving on to NYU for her medical degree, and she kept Meredith and Derek up late into the night with her crazy college stories. Nancy and Kathleen were fun as well, but much more grown-up and reserved as they were more professional. Nancy was an OB/GYN at NYU and Kathleen was getting her PHD at Cornell. Amelia was in 8th grade and she looked up to all of them, Meredith included.

* * *

One morning, Derek woke Meredith up super early. The sun was still rising and she groaned, rolling over so she could face him. It was Saturday morning of break, the last full day they had at his house in New York.

"Get dressed in something warm and meet me downstairs for breakfast," he told her, smothering her with kisses. She smiled and rolled over, covering her face with a pillow for a few more minutes, before her alarm went off. Letting out another groan, she climbed out of bed and rubbed her eyes, heading over to her suitcase. She pulled on a pair of jeans with warm socks, a long sleeved shirt and a heavy sweater, running her brush through her hair and pulling her long blonde tresses back. Heading into the bathroom, she brushed her teeth and dabbed the bare minimum of makeup on, still not used to wearing much, before heading downstairs.

Derek was in the midst of making pancakes for the family and she couldn't help but smile as she slid onto a stool at the island counter next to Amelia. She knew he could cook but she couldn't help but smile, watching him be a family man. They'd only been together about seven weeks but she could already tell he was everything that 5 year old her had dreamed up all those years ago when she had still believed in true love and things like that. She followed him around the kitchen as he flipped pancakes and filled everyone's plates, finally coming to stop at her plate.

"Good morning," he grinned, leaning over to kiss her. Of course, his sisters had to clap and holler at the two of them. They did a perfect job of embarrassing their baby brother, Meredith had to admit. They were spectacular at their job of older sisters, and Amelia was amazing at her job at little sister. Meredith giggled and kissed him back.

"Good morning, and it's definitely morning," she laughed, the first rays of sunshine poking through the blinds on the windows.

"That's what the coffee is for," he teased as he poured some into a mug for her, sliding her the creamer and the sugar bowl. She prepared her coffee before taking a long drink. Homemade coffee definitely beat dining hall and hospital coffee, she decided, both of which she'd been running on her entire life. Derek was opening her eyes to an entirely different word, and she couldn't complain about it. He placed a stack of pancakes on her plate and she smiled, pouring syrup over everything and digging in, tuning out the chatter of his four sisters.

* * *

Once everyone was done breakfast and the kitchen was clean, Derek ambled over to Meredith, who was still seated at the counter, scrolling through her text messages. There were a few from Addison, telling Meredith about her crazy week with her feuding parents, the things she and Mark had been up to, and being around her older brother again, who was home from med-school. Meredith couldn't help but laugh; they were surrounded by doctors everywhere they went. She put down her iphone and looked up with a smile, greeting him.

"So, any reason you woke me up at the buttcrack of dawn?" she teased him as he took her phone away from her. "Hey! I was sending Addison some very important selfies of us," she giggled, scrunching up her nose. He laughed, kissing the tip of her nose.

"Go get your shoes and coat and meet me in the front hall, we're going on an adventure," he grinned, and she slid off the stool, heading upstairs to Derek's room. Her boots were by her suitcase and she pulled them on, before heading downstairs to grab one of her warmer jackets that she had brought, throwing a scarf around her neck. She plopped down on the bench by the front door to wait for him, absentmindedly braiding her hair and securing it with a hair tie. When he appeared she stood up and he grabbed her by the waist, swinging her around in a hug.

"Come on gorgeous, I'm taking you to one of my favorite places," was all he said as he led her out to the car. She followed him out to the car, taking a deep breath of the crisp fall air, climbing into the passenger seat and reaching over, taking her phone out of his pocket with a sly smile. "If you're driving I'm in charge of the music," she smirked as she scrolled through the Bluetooth options on his Jeep. Settling on something by Tegan and Sara, he backed out of the driveway and they were on their way on the private backroads that were only accessible by owning one of the houses by them. She settled in her seat, ready to change the song as Derek drove.

"Where are we going?" she asked him for the umpteenth time and he just shook his head with a smirk.

"Stop asking, we'll get there when we get there," he would tell her, and she pouted in her seat, shuffling through songs and finally settling on something by Taylor Swift. He in turn pouted.

"Really Meredith? Taylor Swift?" he grimaced, glancing at her.

"Hey, I don't get to know where we're going so you have to listen to Taylor Swift," she grinned. What he didn't know that frequently when she and Addison were getting ready for class or dinner, the two girls ran around the room, stealing each other's clothes and belting out the singers most famous songs. Shake it Off was one of their favorites and Meredith would never, ever admit it, but she definitely used her hair brush almost every morning after her shower while she danced around the room in her bra and underwear.

* * *

It took at least an hour for them to get where they were going, or really, where Derek knew where they were going. He parked his Jeep on an overlook and Meredith climbed out, walking to the edge and looking out. It looked over a bubbling river, to her delight, with a small waterfall and rapids crashing down. She grinned and looked back at him, as he joined her, sliding an arm around her waist and drawing her into a kiss.

"My dad starting bringing me here when I was five and it became our spot. There's a still creek aways up where he taught me how to fish and I wanted to bring you here…I've never brought anyone here before," he admitted, taking her hand with a smile. Meredith felt touched that he wanted to bring her here, to the spot he had shared with his dad.

"Why don't you show me around?" she said with a grin, as he led her down the pathway from the parking lot. There was a dirt path by the water and it was one of the most beautiful spots she had ever seen. The trees above them were a blast of oranges, reds, and yellows, and as they walked down the pathway Derek entertained her with stories of his father and the times they'd shared, both fishing and in general, being the only Shepherd men in the family.

* * *

Sunday morning came all too soon, and Meredith lamented it as she sorted her clothes from the laundry, packing everything carefully in her duffel bag. Part of her wished she could stay with Carolyn forever; she hadn't ever felt love like this since she was little and had been loved by her father. Part of her though knew she was an adult, and would be back countless times after this visit; she and Derek already had plans to spend Thanksgiving break there and part of Christmas break with his family. Bringing her things downstairs and setting them by the front door, she wandered into the family room to say goodbye to the sisters.

"I added all four of you guys on Facebook, and I have all of your numbers," she giggled, tucking hair into the crown braid she'd managed to do in Derek's mirror over his dresser. "You can seriously text me at any time, I'm kind of addicted to my phone, and I love Facebook even if school gets insane," she smiled fondly, giving each of the girls a tight hug, especially Amelia. "And hey, I know eighth grade sucks, but you're close to high school, which is better, and college is so much better," she smiled, giving her another hug. "Plus your mom is so awesome, don't give her a hard time, okay?"

Derek was just around the corner, listening to Meredith talk to his sisters and he couldn't help but smile to himself. She was amazing, he had truly lucked out when he met her, especially since she lived just across the hall from him. He straightened up when Meredith entered the front hall and she turned her head with a smirk, her long hair whipping over her shoulder.

"So how much of that did you hear?" she laughed, fake-punching him on the arm.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he teased her, handing her coat and scarf to her. She rolled her eyes and put both on, as Carolyn came into the hall.

"It was so lovely having both of you here for break, it was so lovely meeting you Meredith," she smiled warmly, pulling Meredith into her arms. Meredith basically melted, soaking up all of the motherly love that she could. She hadn't heard from her own mother since she left Boston at the end of August.

"The pleasure was all mine," she promised Carolyn, holding her close and kissing her cheek before stepping back, reaching for one of her bags. "We'll be back in what, a month?" she said, turning to Derek. They had a week for Thanksgiving break which was great; they'd be spending a week with the Shepherds.

"Bye Ma," Derek smiled, leaning in and giving his mom a hug, as his sisters flooded the entry way, pushing each other away to get Derek's attention. He laughed and hugged them all, before grabbing the rest of their things and heading out to the car. Meredith was in charge of the music again and once they were settled, they were off to New Haven.

* * *

The ride back to New Haven was barely over an hour, but they filled the time with talking about their time at the Shepherds, singing along to whatever came on the iPod, and what to do over the rest of the semester. Meredith could even laugh and point out how boring and textbook relationship they could be sometimes, but most of the time they were finding new and different ways to make their relationship exciting.

Pulling in to the parking lot by their building, it was only midday and Meredith smiled.

"That was a fun long weekend," she grinned, looking over to him. "I really like your family," she said softly, reaching over and rubbing his hand before giving him a kiss. "They're wonderful, you're lucky to have them," she smiled, before climbing out of the car and grabbing her things out of the back. The pair walked up to their building together, hauling their things to the fourth floor. Only once they were in front of the doors to their respective dorm rooms did they part, Meredith with a pout. She was so used to being with him 24/7 that she didn't want to leave him, but she stuck her key in her door and left him with a kiss.

Derek couldn't help but stare at her door, long after it was closed. He could hear her moving around in the room, probably unpacking her bags and moving things around. All he knew was he was falling deeper and deeper in love with the girl that was Meredith Grey. He hadn't expected to come to college and find someone immediately, or at all, but he had and every single moment spent with her was perfect.

* * *

 **Here's another chapter guys! This story just writes itself and I LOVE writing it! I think the next chapter will be Thanksgiving break! If you have anything you want to happen just let me know and I'll find a way to add it in! I definitely have plans for more Maddison so don't worry guys!**

 **Love all of your reviews! I wish I could respond to them without PMing you guys!**


	6. Some Nights

Meredith wouldn't lie; college was hard. She had made it harder for herself by choosing Yale, and then harder by choosing the major she had chosen. Luckily for her, she, Addison, Mark, and Derek were all the same major, although they weren't all taking the same classes at the same time. It didn't matter though, she loved being able to come home and rant or cry to people who understood why she was so upset and frustrated. After her first visit home with Derek, mid-terms occurred, which were the most stressful week in her life. She had rotated between studying for 8 hours straight, and laying in her bed practically catatonic. Of course, she ended up acing everything like everything predicted she would; she was smart and would have aced them even if she hadn't studied. Medicine was in her blood and it was everything she knew. Luckily she was around people who kept her grounded and sane, especially if this was how the next 8 years of her life were going to be, and beyond.

It was almost Thanksgiving and Meredith was nervous again, getting neurotic about finals. Thankfully Derek was there to calm her down, always surprising her with nights out, or nights in complete with her favorite ice cream or a bottle of wine. One night she was toiling over an English assignment when he knocked on the door. Addison, who was sitting on her bed painting her toenails, went and answered it.

"Oh thank god, she's been ranting about poetry about two hours," she teased as Derek stepped into the room. Meredith picked up her head from her computer and rolled her eyes.

"It has not been two hours! And shut up, this class totally sucks. Poetry sucks. It is not romantic, she has us analyzing the most depressing poems in the world. Like, who the hell wants to read poems about death and dying? And it's not even Poe, I've never heard of these people. I signed up for Frost and Dickinson, not this crap," she scoffed, saving her work and slamming her computer shut. Derek laughed and moved across the room to Meredith, wrapping her up in a hug.

"You need to get out of this shoebox," he laughed, tugging at her to get out of her desk chair. She sighing, conceding, and stood up. She was dressed lazily in sweatpants emblazoned with her private school named and logo and a long sleeved shirt, her dirty hair pulled back in a ponytail, looking tired.

"And what do you suggest we do, huh?" she questioned once she was standing, heaving a sigh. He crossed his arms and looked at her.

"Go take a shower and I'll have something figured out," he promised her with a kiss on her forehead. She nodded and grabbed her shower caddy and two towels, heading down the hall to the bathroom.

* * *

After her shower, Meredith twisted her wet hair into a braid, not having the energy to blow dry it. She pulled on a pair of jeans and a tank top, throwing a chunky sweater on top just as Derek returned to the room in his coat and shoes. He smiled as he watched Meredith get ready, slipping her usual jewelry on, oblivious to the fact that Derek was watching her until she turned around to grab her shoes and he was there.

"Hey!" she smiled, much more relaxed after her shower, grabbing a worn pair of Uggs out of her closet. She wanted to be warm and comfy; the days were getting shorter still, and ever colder.

"Hey gorgeous. I figured out what we're doing and it'll be fun," he smiled, watching as she grabbed her coat, tucking a scarf around her neck. She felt her pockets for a hat and gloves, and once she found them she grabbed her phone and her keys, following him out the door.

"Oh yeah?" she smirked, sailing down the steps next to him as they found his car in the parking lot. Her car hadn't moved since move in day. "How are you so sure I'll love it?" she teased, grabbing her hat from her pocket and tugging it on her head as she climbed into his car. Once they were both buckled in, they were off.

"Because you're with me, that's how," he told her with a finality, as she laughed. Where they were going was only a five minute drive away; if it was warmer outside they would've walked. They parked in a parking lot and they both hoped out, Meredith looking around.

"Oh, it's _rugged_ ," she teased him, pressing a kiss to his lips as he took her small hand in his, leading him to one of the trails. He laughed at her reaction and shook his head.

"Any chance I can get you camping over the summer?" he grinned as they started up one of the trails. They were in for a hike but she didn't mind, she loved doing anything new.

"Der, if you and Mark think that you're getting me and Addison to come with you two on your annual, week-long, no showers in sight, or bathrooms for that matter, camping trip, you can keep dreaming," she laughed, reaching up and kissing his nose, prancing ahead of him on the trail. She had a feeling that both boys were going to plead a very good case, and she and Addison were going to end up giving in somehow, but right now there was no way in hell.

"What! It's fun! Getting in touch with nature, and stuff," he laughed, striding after her and catching her at the waist. That was how most of the walk up the trail was, giggling and kissing, the two of them chasing after the other and acting like children. Meredith paused though, the first of the pair to reach the top. It was windy and freezing cold but she didn't care, she couldn't stop smiling.

"Derek!" she called, turning around and waiting for him. He quickly caught up and pulled her close to him as they took in the gorgeous view. They could see all around New Haven, easily spotting Yale and other landmarks they'd grown to know over the past few months. "It's beautiful," she smiled, squeezing his hands tight, loving that he had brought her here. Apparently places with beautiful views were their things.

"Yes you are," he grinned, swooping down and drawing her into a deep kiss as the sun started to set in the background. Every time she managed to level with how perfect he was, he turned around and took her breath away again and again.

"Mmm I love you," she grinned, her hands running through his already windswept hair.

"I love you too," he smiled, looking down at her and catching her in another kiss. She didn't know it yet but he had big plans for the two of them.

* * *

Thanksgiving break came all too soon, but this time Mark and Addison were coming with them. It made Meredith excited, having her best friends with them, and she knew Carolyn was excited to meet her other new daughter. The four of them took Derek's car to the Shepherd's, since Mark's parents lived only five minutes away anyway, and they had a crazy time on the hour long drive, fighting over who was changing the song, the song choice, and the volume of said song.

Finally they arrived at the Shepherd house and Meredith sprang from the car, ready to see the family that had adopted her so easily. She grabbed her things from the trunk and trudged up to the door, hesitating to knock but instead she just pushed open the front door.

"Hellooooo?" She sang out, setting down her things. In an instant Amelia tore around the corner and ran straight for her.

"Meredith! You're here!" she yelled, throwing her arms around the older girl. Meredith couldn't help but laugh, wrapping the 13 year old in a huge hug.

"I am! And I brought Mark with me this time, and his girlfriend Addison," she smiled, as the other three piled in around them. Mark bellowed as he walked in the door and Meredith ducked, shaking her head.

"Where's my favorite sister?" he yelled out, as Amelia squealed and jumped into his arms.

"MARKIE!" she screamed, the pair twirling around. Meredith laughed and shook her head, catching Addison's eye. Derek rolled his eyes.

"Oh, and I'm chopped liver?" he asked as Carolyn walked in on the five of them.

"Hello to all of you!" she smiled, reaching Meredith first and pulling her in. "It's so nice to see you again Meredith, Derek. Glad you're home finally Mark. And you must be the famous Addison," she said with a smile, heading over to Addison. Addison smiled warmly back and hugged her tightly, happy that Carolyn accepted her into the fold.

"It's so lovely to meet you Mrs. Shepherd," she said with a smile, as Carolyn shook her head.

"Please, call me Carolyn, I insist. Anyone who's captured Mark's heart for more than a week gets to call me Carolyn." Meredith and Addie laughed and shook their heads, having heard Mark's history for Derek. Meredith grabbed Addison's wrist and smiled.

"Come on, Ill show you where to put your things. Mark has a room here," she grinned, hoisting her bags up and leading Addison up the stairs, pointing out pictures of little Mark and Derek all the way up the winding staircase. Addison couldn't help but laugh at adorable, five year old Mark, and smile at every school picture from kindergarden to senior year. Mark's room was next to Derek's and once the girls had dropped their things off, they reconvened in the hallway, Addison jumpy and giggly.

"Oh my gosh, I can't believe Mark actually brought me home to meet his mom, I mean his adopted mom, but his mom, you know? This is big, this is really big! And can you believe this house? I mean you know our parents re flashy and insane, but this house is huge, and gorgeous, and you can actually sit down without breaking something," she giggled, turning towards the photos on the wall. "Damn, Mark was always adorable," she smiled, as they headed downstairs and back to the boys, who were in the living room playing video games already. The two girls plopped down next to them to watch. "Do you always have to be such boys about everything? Addison teased, as Mark paused the game to reach over and kiss her. "Thank you for bringing me home with you," she smiled, receiving a kiss In return. "It means a lot to me," she whispered, the pair sharing a tender moment.

Oh the other side, Meredith was curled up on her side, flat out exhausted from studying. Derek looked at her form and pulled a blanket over her with a smile.

"Mere, take a nap if you need one," he told her and she sighed.

"I want to but I also want to be with you guys," she said with a yawn. It was only Friday afternoon and they were here until the Sunday after Thanksgiving, which meant plenty of time to spend together and with the family before they had to go back to school. Derek smiled, running his fingers through her hair.

"Mere, go upstairs and get in med," he said firmly, and finally Meredith sigh, getting up and taking the back staircase upstairs and crawling into his bed, falling into a dreamless sleep.

The next thing she new there were a lot of loud voices coming from downstairs, so she slipped from the bed and followed them. It was Lizzie and Kathleen and their boyfriends, and she quickly made her way downstairs to the sisters with a smile on her face.

"Hey guys!" she called out, hoping her hair wasn't too mussed up from her nap.

"Meredith!" Lizzie cried out, throwing herself around the younger girl. "We were so hoping Derek hadn't scared you off yet, as Meredith began to laugh.

"He could never scare me off," she promised, noticing Addison at the edge of the room. "Hey guys, this is Mark's girlfriend Addison, she's my roommate and one of our best friends," she said with a smile. Kathleen was the first to pounce, throwing her arms around the tall red head.

"Ahh it's so nice to finally meet you! Mark and Derek have told us so much about you, you're even more stunning in person if that's at all possible," she said excitedly. Addison blushed and waved a hand, laughing. "Besides anyone who can keep Mark for more than a day is definitely a keeper," she teased. Meredith was glad Addison felt at home here, she had been scared she wouldn't. The boys wandered in as a few moments and watched as their girlfriends seamlessly fell into step with the family, and Derek gazed at Meredith, throwing back her head in laughter at something Lizzie had just said,, and he nudged Mark slightly.

"I'm going to marry her one day," he said confidently, unable to stop the smile from spreading across his face.

* * *

 **Okay so here's thanksgiving part one! Part two should come within a few days; since I have three fics going I tend to update them in order of which was updated last, then I immediately write the next chapter, and move on to the next one. Just a habit I've developed haha.**

 **As always, read and review! Thanks so much already for all the amazing reviews! I love you guys!**


	7. Secrets

Out of the four of them, only Mark and Derek had ever had a real Thanksgiving growing up. Meredith had either spent it trolling at the hospital or avoiding the staff in her house, and Addison had spent it with feuding parents who insisted on eating in a restaurant. The two girls were excited to have a new experience and make new memories with the Shepherds.

Thanksgiving morning came fast, and with it came the arrival of dozens of aunts, uncles, and cousins. Meredith could hear them downstairs as she lay in bed, trying to fall back asleep but to no avail. School had killed her sleeping in skills and try as she might, she couldn't sleep past 8 AM anymore. Groaning, she rolled over only to be greeted by an empty bed. Apparently Derek couldn't sleep either. She peaked into the hallway and, noticing no one there, made a mad dash for one of the two bathrooms there. A shower was definitely needed before she met more Shepherds.

After her shower she decided to take a meticulously long time on her hair and makeup, blow drying her long hair and straightening it, weaving a braid into the front before applying just the right amount of makeup. Dashing in her towel back to Derek's room, she pulled out a long-sleeved lavender shirt dress, with brown tights and a pair of brown ankle boots. Around her neck was a necklace from Tiffany's her mother had given her upon graduating high school; it was a simple key pendant on a delicate silver chain. It had been one of the nicest things Ellis had remembered to give her and she smiled slightly as she touched it.

Finally happy with how she appeared, she left the room and headed downstairs, stopping short just outside of the living room. It was with people of all ages and Meredith balked, not knowing a soul. She headed into the kitchen which seemed like the much safer option, and it was. The sisters were there along with Carolyn, and a few older women who resembled both Shepherds and Maloney's. Carolyn smiled as she spotted Meredith.

"Oh, Cate," she said, gesturing to one of the blonde women with a smile. "This is Derek's girlfriend, Meredith." The blonde woman smiled warmly at her, nodding her approval.

"Derek was down here earlier, singing your praises. It's so nice to finally meet you, I'm Carolyn's sister," she said with a smile and Meredith smiled back. She could tell today would be filled with meeting new people.

* * *

By noon, Meredith had managed to meet every aunt, uncle, and cousin in the house, and still not find Derek. She had, however, found Addison and a bottle of wine, and the two girls had retreated to the much quieter family room to drink and have some laughs. They were enjoying themselves fully, both loving the fact that they had a family to celebrate holidays with now.

"Do you think it's always going to be like this?" Meredith blurted out, slurring her speech slightly. Addison turned her head and regarded her best friend, taking another sip of wine.

"What do you mean?" she asked. Under normal circumstances she would've been able to interpret what she was asking, but the wine had gone straight to her head.

"You know…holidays. Here. With Mark and Derek and the Shepherds," she said, blushing deeply. Addison realized what she was saying and her eyes went wide.

"You mean…do you think we'll marry them and spend eternity as shiny, happy people who spend holidays with their in laws? I…I've thought about it. It wouldn't be the worst possible scenario," she said, cracking a smile. Meredith relaxed completely and let her head fall back into a pillow.

"I think about it. A lot. I have this feeling I'm going to marry him. I want to marry him. Just not now. I mean, I'm eighteen, but god. I want to marry him," she confessed, pouring the rest of the bottle of wine into her glass and drinking deeply. "If you ever tell anyone what we just talked about I will be forced to kill you. Remember, I know where you sleep,".

* * *

Soon after their discussion, Carolyn found the two girls and dragged them into the kitchen. Lizzie, Nancy, and Kathleen were already there, but Amelia was mysteriously absent.

"Come on girls, it's time to cook!" Meredith and Addison looked at each other; they didn't cook. Or at least they tried not to. Both girls had grown up with a chef in their house and Meredith had been experimenting somewhat successfully with things. They were put in charge of baking, which wasn't too bad, and they ended up having fun making pies and cakes for the next few hours. Meredith felt proud of herself when she popped a pumpkin pie into the oven to bake. Addison had been in charge of the apple pie and, although she was covered in flour and cinnamon, she looked proud as she cut an 'A' into the top pie crust and slid her pie next to Meredith's.

"Did I just make something edible?" She asked outloud, and Lizzie laughed next to her.

"We'll see if it's edible, Addie," she teased her, nudging her with her elbow. Addison laughed with her and shrugged her shoulders.

"Maybe someone should make a backup, the only cooking I do is takeout," she smirked, washing her hands and pulling her red hair down from it's ponytail. Meredith had slipped onto a barstool at the island, watching everyone, mainly Carolyn and Cate, rush around preparing everything. It all felt…comfortable and right.

Suddenly there were hands over her eyes and a kiss on her cheek and she giggled.

"Oh hello, I was wondering when you were going to make an appearance today," she smiled, spinning around to find Derek there. She reached up and kissed his lips, still grinning.

"I know, I'm sorry, Mom sent Mark and I all over town looking for last minute things that she forgot about," he pouted, picking her up at the waist and carrying her to the family room, which was practically empty for a makeout session.

"Der we can't do this with your entire family in the house!" she laughed as she hovered over him, sitting in his lap. Her hair fell over her shoulder and he caught a whiff of her lavender shampoo.

"Hey it's my house, we can do it if I say so," he teased, and so they did.

* * *

When dinner was finally ready it was a crazy affair. Meredith sat between Derek and Addison, around a table that sat thirty. But that still wasn't enough; there were kids sitting at the table in the kitchen. It was very festive and fun, and Meredith enjoyed her first real Thanksgiving experience. It was so nice to be in the middle of everything and everyone, and know that the entire family around her loved and accepted her as Derek's girlfriend. She had a new glass of wine but was taking this one much slowed, and at one point she turned to Addison, commenting on how she could never go back to boring Thanksgivings thrown by the staff at her mothers house in Boston. After the meal was over, each person in the room went around and said one thing they were thankful for, and Meredith couldn't help but smile. When it came to be her time, she took a breath.

"I'm thankful for the love and acceptance from each person in this room," she announced, and everyone smiled back at her, as she put her glass of wine back down. It was true though; everyone was absolutely amazing and loved her unconditionally.

* * *

Dessert went surprisingly well, with both the pumpkin and apple pies being raved over. Addison and Meredith relished in their success with yet another glass of wine, before Derek grabbed Meredith by the waist and pulled her upstairs.

"Der what are you doing!? We are not having sex in your childhood bedroom!" she laughed, kissing him.

"No we're not, we're going to play football," he smirked, pushing her into his room and shutting the door. She stared at him for a moment and shook her head.

"No, no we aren't, I don't do sports!" she cried out as he laughed.

"It's a tradition, it's Thanksgiving. Change into jeans or something and come downstairs. I love you," he smiled, kissing her forehead as he left the room.

She grew grumpy for a few minutes, kicking off her shoes and shedding her tights, pulling on leggings and a sweater with uggs, braiding her long hair so it wouldn't be in the way. She grabbed a scarf and knotted it around her neck, digging in her duffel bag for her fleece jacket. Once she was satisfied she headed downstairs where Addison was waiting, looking equally displeased.

"Do they realize just how terrible we are at organized sports? I mean, I played tennis for fucks sake," Meredith moaned. Addison laughed and shrugged her shoulders.

"I played field hockey and lacrosse, I can run after a stupid ball," she laughed, as the two girls headed out into the backyard. Tons of cousins and uncles were out there already, but they made a beeline for Mark and Derek, who looked pleased to see their girlfriends had actually consented to play.

"Oh good. You guys are on our team" Mark grinned, kissing Addison. Meredith moved closer to Derek and smiled. She was willing to do anything for him.

* * *

The rest of the day passed in a flash; Meredith discovered she had a knack for catching the football and scoring touchdowns, which excited her. Maybe she wasn't useless whenever Mark and Derek wanted to do something sporty after all.

Thanksgiving had been great and she was so blessed to have been able to spend it with the Shepherds. Her mind wandered to her conversation with Addison earlier, as to whether or not it would always be like this, the two of them coming home with Mark and Derek, and she smiled, looking down at her left hand. She imagined a ring there someday, eventually, and once the image was in her head she was unable to get rid of it.

* * *

 **I apologize that this chapter is short but a lot happened in it! I hope you guys like it**


	8. Shake It Out

A week at the Shepherds had been a dream, but it was back to the reality of school and it was harsh. They had three weeks left of classes and then finals, and then they were free December 22nd for a few weeks. They had to be back January 13th but they were free, at least. Meredith wanted to go to Boston for a few days and Derek had agreed to go with her, even if it meant running into Ellis.

They four of them ran around like they had their heads cut off until December 17th, when classes were over. Cramming for finals was crazy; they all holed up in Addison and Meredith's room and only left for food or bathroom breaks. Meredith was sick of flashcards and medical terms, along with the poetry she was spewing back at everyone. At least French came easy to her, and she and Addison were able to carry on conversations with one another, talking about the boys and giggling like crazy.

Finals week came and went in a blur of tests. Meredith felt like she knew nothing on her exams, but managed to get straight A's. In celebration, the four of them decided to head out to parties and get drunk that night.

Dressed in a sparkly black dress with black tights and black ankle boots, Meredith straightened her hair and put on more makeup than she had ever imagined owning in her entire life, guided by Addison. As a final touch, Addison handed her a tube of red lipstick that she carefully applied in the mirror on the back of her closet door, as Derek walked into the door.

"Who are you and where's my girlfriend?" he teased as she placed her hands on her hips. She looked like a dream, her hair falling towards her waist, her eyes highlighted by the makeup, the red lipstick making her look like a seductress.

"Mmm, right here," she grinned, reaching up and kissing him deeply before pulling away, grabbing her coat. "Come on, guys! We're going to miss the good parties," she giggled, tugging Derek out the door. Soon they were trudging through the snow to one of the other colleges where they knew there was a huge party going on. Flashing their school ID's was enough to get them in, and soon they were all settled with drinks, Meredith and Addison doing tequila shots with some of the other girls while Derek and Mark were set with Scotch.

"They're going to regret that in the morning," was all Mark said as Meredith and Addison pounded back their seventh shots. Derek winced and looked away.

"I see a long night of both of us holding back long hair in adjoining stalls," he joked, shaking his head.

* * *

Derek's prediction proved to be right, with Meredith's head in his lap half the night, the other half with her head in the toilet.

"I'm never drinking tequila again," she moaned, her famous last words as she managed to gulp down some Gatorade. The pounding in her head was terrible, and Derek handed her three advil, which she managed to gulp down. She laid back in his arms and closed her eyes. Everything was spinning and suddenly she felt like she was in the air. She cracked open an eye and Derek was carrying her, presumably to her bed. Once she was there she sighed. "Don't leave me Der," she whined. Apparently she was a needy drunk.

Biting his lip, he went through her drawers and pulled out a tank top and pajama pants, slowly easing her out of her dress and tights and easing her into her pajamas.

"I'm going right across the hall to change but I'll be back in five minutes okay?" Meredith nodded and put her head down on the pillow and closed her eyes; everything was spinning and she was afraid if she didn't close her eyes she'd throw up again. But Derek came back quickly and curled up around her.

"Shhh go to sleep, Mer," he whispered, kissing her cheek. She nodded slightly and grabbed his hand, quickly falling asleep.

* * *

The next morning was a rude awakening. The sun filtering through the blinds hurt her eyes and the room was still spinning. Her head was pounding and she moaned, turning onto her stomach and burying her face in her pillow. Her _hair_ hurt, what the hell? And she still had to pack for break. She hated everything right now. Forcing herself to sit up she crawled out of bed, dragging a few bags out of her closet and starting to throw some of her clothes and such into it. A few cute dresses made their way into it, along with jeans and sweaters for running around in the cold with Derek. After Boston they were heading down to his house for Christmas and she wanted to be prepared for everything. Addison was awake but both boys were still asleep, and she looked about the same as Meredith felt.

"I'm never having tequila again," she whispered across the room, taking a drink of water. She felt like she was going to vomit again and she zipped up her makeup bag and tucked it into her duffel. Shoes went into a pocket in her suitcase as she tucked in anything required for snowy adventures. Addison groaned as she packed her own bags; she was going home just for Christmas then coming down to New York with the rest of them.

"I hate my life. Like I actually hate my life right now." She said, pulling at her messy, dirty hair. She needed a shower she realized as she pulled out things she wanted to bring home and to the Shepherds. Meredith sighed and looked at the things she was packing, actually pleased with herself. She'd chosen cute clothes and an especially pretty dress for Christmas Eve and for Christmas. Finally satisfied with herself she turned to her bed.

"Rise and shine sunshine," she smiled, gently kissing Derek on the forehead. "You have some bags to pack, we have to go to Boston today," she said with a small smile. Derek's eyes flickered open and he looked up at her, smiling.

"You feel okay?" he asked her. She shrugged.

"I've felt better but you know. I can deal," she shrugged again. He nodded, giving her a kiss. "Go pack, we have to get to Boston, I want to grab things from the house before Satan herself realizes I'm here," she smirked as he left the room.

* * *

An hour later they were in Meredith's car and on their way to Boston. Meredith wasn't thrilled about needing to go there, but she needed more of her winter clothing and some other things, and she couldn't trust her mother to do it, and didn't want the staff to poke around her things. Not that she didn't trust them, they were just her things and she wanted what she wanted. The trip was two and a half hours and the whole ride they talked and laughed, fighting over the music like always.

Finally they pulled up to the house and Meredith parked in the street; they were staying over two nights and heading down to New York in time for Christmas Eve festivities with Derek's family. Meredith climbed out of the car and looked up at the house that had seemed like a prison for so long. Derek looked up at the house with wide eyes, wondering how anyone could feel trapped here.

"Come on let's grab our things and go inside, it's freezing," she said, popping the trunk and grabbing just her duffel bag and pillow, holding onto her keys as they headed to the front door of the imposing townhouse. Once inside Meredith dropped her bags by the door and Derek followed suit, looking around. He'd always known Meredith was privileged, just like Mark and Addison, but looking around the house gave him a sense of awe. It was absolutely stunning, decorated meticulously (and certainly not by Ellis herself), and he was sure it was done so to make a statement to others that Ellis herself was rolling in money as Chief of Surgery.

"You grew up here?" he asked her, slightly incredulous. Meredith turned around with an eyebrow raised and shrugged her shoulders.

"Yeah…it's not exactly my cup of tea but it's home," she said with an apologetic shrug, as Derek walked around the first floor. On the mantel of the fireplace were carefully spaced out medical awards and several Harper Avery's. Derek reached out and touched one slightly with a grin before turning around.

"I'm standing in Ellis Grey's house," he smirked. She had to laugh at that and shook her head.

"Yes, yes you are," she teased him, following him into the formal living room and embracing him. She both loved the house and hated it. It was elegant and oddly formal, and the Meredith he knew didn't seem to fit in the opulent extravagance that oozed out of every room he had the chance to peek into. "Do you want food? I can get our cook to make something. Or we can just head on up to my floor of the house and we can settle in?" she asked him, shrugging her shoulders.

"You have a cook? Of course you have a cook, your mother can't cook and somehow she has the sense to not let you starve," he teased her as they walked towards the kitchen. Sure enough, the Grey family cook Francis was there.

"Hey Francis," she said with a smile, as the cook embraced her with a tight hug.

"Miss Meredith! We've missed you around here," he said with a smile. Leaning in closer he laughed. "Your mother has been most insufferable," he said, his English accent thick.

Meredith had to laugh. Of course she had been.

"Oh, Francis, this is my boyfriend Derek. We'll be here until Christmas Eve and then we're going to his mothers house," she said with a wide smile. Francis positively beamed. At last, Meredith has someone to be with on the holidays. "We were wondering if you could whip us up something to eat? Mmm, perhaps fettucini alfredo?" She asked, and he nodded.

"I'll make it and bring it up two as soon as possible. Now shoo!" he laughed, pushing them out of his kitchen.

Meredith didn't have to think twice.

"Come, let's go upstairs, I have the entire fourth floor to myself," she smile shyly. She felt spoiled, showing him her house and the world she lived in, the extravagance of it all but really it was all her mother just showing off. She liked her own space; when she was 13 her mother had given in and let her have the entire floor to do what she wanted with it. She grabbed her bags and began dragging them up the winding staircase towards the fourth floor. It was a hike but it was worth it. Once they were there she took a rest, leaning against the baulustrade. "My room's at the end," she nodded, as they dragged their things to her room and stepped inside.

Her room was typical of a formerly teenage girl, with a queen sized four post bed against one wall, two dressers facing each other against opposing walls, and a small vanity opposite the bed. The walls were painted a light teal color, and her comforter was white with black flowers, the center of them matching the teal walls perfectly.

"This is so not how I pictured your bedroom," he teased her, dropping his things and sliding an arm around her waist with a smiled. She couldn't help but giggle and look up at him.

"How did you think my room was going to look?" she laughed, crinkling her nose.

"Judging by the rest of the house, very opulent and extravagant," he laughed, swooping in to kiss her. Meredith shook her head vigourously.

"My mother likes to show off, especially when it comes to entertaining people from the hospital in her home. I'm very much not a part of that life, despite what's attached to my name in her will," she said matter of factly, taking a seat on her bed and looking around. "I haven't been here since August. Nothing's changed, but I have," she said pensively, knowing she was a much different person than the Meredith who had left here in August. He sat down on the bed next to her and pressed a kiss to her temple.

"I'd like to think I'm part of that," he smiled, holding her close.

"Of course you are silly," she giggled, kicking off her boots and standing up again. Her bedroom faced the street and she gazed out the window absentmindedly, humming a song to herself. "It feels so weird to be here again," she said, turning around and shrugging. "Come on, let's go watch tv while we wait for food, we never actually do that," she giggled, taking his hand and guiding him down the hall to the lounge she had to herself, complete with a big screen tv and whatever game consoles she wanted. They flipped through the channels, finally settling on Love, Actually, one of Meredith's favorites, and she curled up to Derek.

Soon enough, one of the housekeepers brought up their food, and a message that made her miserable.

"Miss Meredith, your mother has informed us that she's going to be home in time for dinner." Meredith's face fell immediately and the housekeeper quickly left the room, not wanting to be the person who pissed her off. Taking a deep breath she turned to Derek, setting her fork down.

"I'm sorry you're being fed to the wolves," she said in a small, scared voice. She hadn't wanted this to happen, she wasn't ready for Derek and her mother to meet and now it was forced upon them. He merely pulled her closer and sighed.

"Mere don't apologize, it was bound to happen sometime when she knows I'm here. I can handle her," he promised. Meredith just hoped he was right.

* * *

Later that evening, after both Meredith and Derek had changed for dinner, per Ellis's request, they made their way downstairs to the dining room. Meredith was dressed in a pale blue dress, matching Derek's blue button down, and a pair of soft black flats. Her hair was pulled back from her face and she sighed; this was the last thing she wanted to be doing right now. She took a deep breath and rounded the corner to the dining room, where Ellis was sitting at the table, furiously scribbling in a black-bound journal.

"Mother," Meredith said, stiffly and quite formally. Ellis looked up and plastered a smile on her face, one of delight at seeing her daughter.

"Meredith, it's so good to see you after all this time, I'm so glad you decided to come home for a few days, luckily I had some spare time, you know I'll be working over Christmas." Meredith merely nodded, staying in the spot where she was. "And who is this?" she said, gesturing to Derek. Meredith sighed slightly.

"This is my boyfriend, Derek. He actually lives across the hall from me at Yale and is pre-med as well," she said, slipping her hand into Derek's for moral support. Derek, for his credit, was all charm and smiles.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Dr. Grey. Meredith has told me so much about you," he said with a smile. Ellis seemed pleased by him and she waved them towards the table.

"Come sit down, they're preparing dinner," she said, and Meredith hesitantly stepped towards the table, taking a seat to Ellis's right, while Derek sat to her left. "Now tell me about Yale, Meredith dear," she said. Meredith couldn't stand it, she knew everything was an act. Her mother didn't give a crap about what she was doing in school.

"Well, I had three classes to meet my major requirement, and two to meet the general education requirement. The science classes were fascinating but I knew a lot of it, from growing up in the hospital," she said, her voice quiet and hesitant. She looked over at Derek, biting on her lip. Ellis nodded gently.

"Well I'm glad you're finding your way in college, it's certainly an improvement over high school, not to mention so is your appearance." Ah, there it was, the biting remark. Meredith rolled her eyes and gazed across the table. This was the part of the meal where she zoned out, just as the kitchen staff brought all of the food out. Meredith toned out her mother, as Ellis and Derek spoke. She sat there and stuffed herself full with food until she could hold no more. Suddenly she felt like she was going to be sick.

"Excuse me," she mumbled, pushing her chair away from the table and bolting from the room. The nearest bathroom was just down the hall but she couldn't go there. She ran upstairs to the second floor and slammed the bathroom door shut, leaning over the toilet and emptying the contents of her stomach. She couldn't believe she thought it had been a good idea to come here. She had wanted to get more of her things but she should've known that Ellis would've deliberately made up an excuse to come home, despite the fact that for the past thirteen years of her life she had never, ever come home to see Meredith. Once everything was out of her stomach, she flushed the toilet and rinsed her mouth out with water, sitting on the bathroom floor with her head between her knees. She wanted to go to New York, she wanted Carolyn and her sisters.

Soon enough she heard a soft knock at the door.

"Mere? Are you okay?" It was Derek. With tears rushing down her face she picked herself up on the floor and opened the door, sighing.

"I'm fine," she said apologetically, wiping away her tears. Derek wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tightly.

"I love you," he said, pulling her towards the staircase and upstairs to her room. Once the door was shut, she broke down again, curling into a ball again. It had been years since she'd cried over her mothers neglect, her biting words, her harsh demeanor. Derek curled up next to her and simply held her, understanding now why she had felt so strongly for his family, why she loved being with them, why she never came home. "We can leave tonight or in the morning, Mere. Grab what you want and we'll go. I'll drive your car," he said soothingly, rubbing her arms to comfort her.

Meredith, to her credit, nodded slowly and sat up. She sprang off the bed and grabbed a few bags out of her closet, whirling around in action. She packed a bunch of sweaters into one of the bags, along with a few wintery dresses she'd missed when she first moved out. A few coats came out of her closet, with hats, scarves and gloves, and a few pairs of shoes flew out as she threw everything into a heap in the center of her room. Turning around she put her hands on her hips.

"I'm done. Just have to fit it all into things," she sighed. She was stressed and close to a panic attack again. "Let's just get out of here," she said, changing out of her dress and pulling on jeans and a sweater, braiding her hair quickly and neatly at the nape of her neck. She managed to pack her things into a few bags, tucking some of her jewelry into a small tote bag, before she stood up. "I'm ready," she said, taking a shaky breath.

Together they got their things together and outside to the car. It was snowing heavily but Meredith didn't care as she hugged her heavy coat tight to her body; she was escaping the ice queen herself and that was all that mattered. As Derek closed the trunk and back seat doors on their small mountain of bags, he pulled her into his arms, kissing her tenderly and warmly. "I love you Meredith, never forget that. Always remember that you're better than that, you're stronger than the years you put up with her. You're stronger than the crap you've endured because of her. You always told me she was a horrible person and tonight I witnessed it for myself. She tore you apart and she sucked up to me to make herself seem less horrible and I'm not going to take that. You're always spending breaks with me, okay?" he told her, kissing her forehead. She managed a small smile, swaying in the heavy snow. It stuck to her hair and her coat, it melted against her warm skin as she reached up, brushing it out of his dark hair and giggling a bit.

"Come on, let's go before we get snowed in in Boston and are forced to be here with Satan," she said, climbing into the passenger side of her car. He climbed into the drivers seat and started the car, slowly maneuvering the snow-covered streets, taking them away from Meredith's own personal hell.

* * *

 **So I figured a stop in Boston for Derek to meet Ellis might be 'fun' and it sort of just wrote itself, hah.**

 **Next chapter will be Christmas Eve with the Shepherds!**

 **To Patsy: I will NEVER abandon any of my fics! Scouts honor ;)**

 **Please read and review! I love your reviews and reactions**


	9. Extraordinary Merry Christmas

It took Meredith and Derek longer than usual to get to New York because of the snowstorm. Several times she told him to pull off so they could get a hotel for the night and wait for it to pass; he was too hardheaded to listen to her. She didn't want to freeze to death in the car, or die in a car accident. Finally he conceded and they found a Hilton at a rest stop. It was freezing outside; the temperature gauge in the car said it was below zero, and Meredith just wanted to get inside where there was no snow and a warm bed. Grabbing her usual duffel bag from the trunk, where she knew all of her basic things where, she grabbed Derek's hand and the pair made their way inside the hotel lobby. It was warm and bright and Meredith pushed back the hood of her coat with a small sigh.

"Text your mom, I'll get us a room." She said, reaching for her wallet. Ellis Grey might be a terrible parent, but she gave Meredith everything she wanted, including access to credit cards and her bank account. She managed to get them a room with a king sized bed, signing off on the bill before Derek came back. She tucked her wallet back into her purse and moved away from the front desk, heading towards the elevators.

"What did she say?" she asked him, as an elevator opened up and they moved inside. Meredith had two room keys in her coat pocket for room 412 and she leaned against the back wall, exhausted. Her boots were wet with snow as was her hair and she let out a loud yawn.

"She said she was glad you convinced me to stop since it's pretty bad at home too, we're supposedly getting a foot overnight but we should be able to get there by tomorrow afternoon," he sighed, pulling her to him by her waist and kissing the top of her head. "We'll just stay in bed and order room service, it's not a big deal, your car is good on the snow," he said and she nodded, her exhaustion taking over her body. The elevator doors opened and they made their way to their room, practically falling inside once the door was open. Meredith flicked on the lights and went about making it cozy, finding extra blankets in the closet and spreading them over the bed, turning on all the lamps in the room and turning up the heat.

"Well we might as well make the best of things," she shrugged, unzipping her coat and unwinding her scarf, throwing both over a chair. She opened up her bag and pulled out her pajamas, quickly changing into them but leaving her hair braided, before climbing under the covers. Derek did the same, climbing into bed with her and pulling her close.

"I love you," he smiled, trailing kisses down her neck as she giggled. The room and bed were warm and Meredith was exhausted from her day with her mother, and the never-ending drive from Boston to New York. Having sex right now would be great, but before either of them could make a move, they had fallen asleep holding each other.

* * *

Meredith woke up first in the morning, not wanting to move because of how comfortable she was. Unfortunately, she had to pee very badly. Carefully, she maneuvered out of Derek's arms and made her way to the bathroom, relieving herself. Afterwards she decided to peek out the curtains at the snow. She was completely shocked when she saw how much snow there was. There had to have been at _least_ two feet out there. She could spot her car and it was completely buried and she groaned loudly, forgetting Derek was there. In a sleepy voice he rolled over.

"What are you groaning about?" he asked her.

"Little problem. There's like two feet of snow. Fucking New England," she bitched, shaking her head and crossing her arms over her chest. At least it had **stopped** snowing; it was just a matter of digging the car out, and patches of ice. Derek sighed and pulled on his t-shirt, joining her at the window and wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Meredith, we're getting to New York today, okay? And then we're going to play in the snow with my sisters and Mark and Addison and it's going to be the best Christmas you've ever had" he promised, kissing the top of her head.

* * *

Eventually they got the car cleaned off and were on the road; luckily they were only an hour away from New York. It was Christmas Eve now and Meredith was excited for Shepherd family traditions and being a part of everything. It wasn't long before Derek was pulling into the driveway and Meredith had jumped out of the car, flinging herself through the front door.

"WE'RE HERE!" she yelled, and she heard all of her sisters running, a huge smile on her face. Lizzie was first, as usual, and the two girls babbled for a few minutes, giggling on and on about something. Amelia, newly fourteen years old, came next, dressed in a pair of skinny jeans and a black sweater, looking older than she did the last time Meredith had seen her. Kathleen and Nancy came next, and soon they were all catching up with Meredith. Addison was the last to show up and she smiled, throwing her arms around Mere, even though it had only been a few days since they last saw each other. Mark came running down the stairs as well and just stared at the pack of six girls as Derek entered the house, shaking his head at the girls. He had to admit, though, he loved how his sisters had adopted Meredith and considered her their sister as well, along with Addison. Amelia whipped out her phone and took a selfie of the six of them and Meredith had to laugh.

"I'm still in my coat, Mia," she giggled, heading back out to the car to grab her things that she'd need over break. There was still a good amount of snow here, she noted as she trudged through it, sinking up to her calves but she didn't care, she was home.

* * *

Meredith Grey had never in her life set foot in a church. And that was of course why she was in Derek's bedroom fretting, because she was going to midnight mass with his family. Dressed in a red velvet cap-sleeved dress, she leaned over his dresser, carefully applying mascara. Around her neck was a necklace with a single diamond hanging from it, bangles hung around her wrist. Her hair was done in a crown braid, because Lizzie told her she liked it best like that, and she was wearing black tights and a pair of black high heels. After fixing her mascara, she sat down on the bed, visibly freaking out. She was not a church girl. She wasn't even Catholic. Neither were Mark or Addison, but Mark had been going for years and she figured she could sit next to Addison and they could pretend together.

She could hear Kathleen calling from downstairs that it was time to go; it was 11:30. Meredith sighed and touched up her red lipstick, tucking it into her black clutch before she left the room and headed downstairs. Derek walked out of the kitchen at the same time and just gazed at Meredith for a few moments before she realized it.

"What? Is something messed up?" she said, trying to see the back of her dress or checking for a run in her tights. Derek shook his head.

"It's just…you literally took my break away," he said, letting out a small puff of air. To him, she looked absolutely stunning. The dress, the hair, the way her stockings and heels made her legs go on for miles. Meredith broke into a smile and drew him into a kiss, which Kathleen made a vomit face at.

"Guys come on, mom's going to be mad if we're late for church," Kathleen said, and Meredith sighed and broke away. Her nicer coat was hung up with the closet along with her other coats and she grabbed the black wool coat and slid into it, knotting her Burberry scarf around her neck.

"Come on Der, you're driving my car," she smiled as she threw him the keys. Addison and Mark weren't far behind.

* * *

Church was something completely different from anything Meredith had ever experienced. It wasn't a bad experience but it was an experience. She wasn't a religious person and she didn't think she ever would be, but Christmas mass was a nice thing, she decided, and afterwards it was 1am, she realized, and it was Christmas! Driving back to the Shepherd house was fun, especially since Lizzie insisted on joining them in her car, and the five of them laughed the entire way home.

Per Shepherd family tradition, they had hot chocolate and eggnog by the Christmas tree. Each person was allowed to open one present tonight, and one present only, but it had to be selected from a person in the room. Meredith sat on the floor with Addison as the sisters went through presents, before Derek slipped a wrapped box into her lap.

"Oh!" she exclaimed, looking down at it, before opening it carefully. Inside was a Tiffany's box, wrapped in a red bow and she looked up at him, shaking her head. "Der…" she said, ready to protest. He quickly shut her up with a kiss.

"Open it," he commanded, and she pulled open the ribbon, opening the box. There was a small pouch inside with a clasp, which she opened and pulled the contents out. It was a silver ring with a heart on it, a small diamond in the center of the heart. Her eyes went wide and she looked over at him, tears shimmering in her green eyes.

"It's a promise. That I'll always be there for you, for better or worse. And that one day, a nicer, bigger diamond will sit on that finger," he said, taking the ring and slipping it onto her ring finger as tears spilled down her cheek. She'd had a hell of a past 48 hours, and this just blew it all away.

"I love you," she smiled, leaning in and kissing him, not even caring that his entire family was witnessing this.

"I love you too," he grinned, an arm sliding around her waist. He couldn't wait for the day when he finally made Meredith Grey his wife.

* * *

 **Here's part one of Christmas! I was debating extending it and making all of Christmas one chapter, but I liked this ending** **Please read and review! I love each and every review, they make my entire day!**


	10. Merry Christmas Darling

Waking up on Christmas morning to the smell of an amazing brunch was a new experience for Meredith. She rolled over and checked her phone; it was half past nine. Derek was still as sleep next to her and she smiled, kissing his forehead before slipping out from under the warm blankets and heading downstairs. She was dressed in a Yale shirt and plaid pajamas shorts with socks, her hair probably a mess but she entered the kitchen to find Carolyn, Lizzie, and Amelia.

"Merry Christmas," she said with a sleepy smile, as everyone replied to her. She slid onto a barstool and poured herself a cup of coffee, stirring in one sugar and a splash of cream before drinking in the life saving liquid she coveted so much. She drank it as she, Amelia, and Lizzie talked.

"So what's up first?" she asked the girls, knowing they had traditions, and she smiled, so grateful to be part of this family. Amelia piped up.

"Mom makes brunch while Christmas dinner cooks, and after brunch we open the rest of our presents. Then if there's snow, which there is, we go outside and have some fun, then come in and shower and usually by then dinner is ready. And don't bother asking to help, mom shoos us away and tells us to have fun because it's Christmas," she smiled at Meredith, brushing her hair away from her face.

Meredith nodded, knowing that she was in for a Christmas she had never dreamed of ever having. Usually Christmas for her was a lonely breakfast, and a lonely dinner, which everyone attempted to make cheery. Presents had been selected by Ellis, but they usually were nothing that Meredith was interested in or wanted. Presents from her friends were more desirable and eventually Meredith had simply asked Ellis if she could buy her own Christmas gifts. Her mother had handed her credit card over and told her not to be such a bother next time.

Rolling her eyes at the memory, she wrapped her hands around her coffee mug and drank deeply, enjoying it's rich favor, knowing that her Christmases would never be lonely and miserable again. She had to smile at that as she looked at the ring on her left hand, thinking back at the words he had said to her. _This is just for now until the real thing comes along._ It was so nice to know that they were on the same page mentally, that he wanted to marry her and she wanted to marry him. They were end game and they both knew it.

* * *

Meredith didn't want to shower since she knew she would just have to shower after coming in from being in the snow, but the threw on a pair of black leggings with a pretty red sweater that she liked, slipping her feet into Uggs. She wanted to be comfortable for brunch. By this time Derek was awake and they were both dressed. Braiding her hair in a side French braid that ended just at her ear and straightening the rest, she turned around and smiled.

"Merry Christmas," she smiled, wrapping her arms around him and drawing him into a deep kiss. He pulled her closer and deepened the kiss and she couldn't help but smile as thoughts ran through her head. This was forever. The boy she ran into on her way to get her keys was forever. The boy with the curly black hair, the piercing blue eyes, the boy she and Addison had dubbed McDreamy. She was going to marry him one day and she was still wrapping her head around it.

They headed downstairs where the table was set, and everyone was taking their seats. There were pancakes, waffles, and French toast, along with sausage and bacon, fresh squeezed orange juice, and champagne to make mimosas. Meredith was suddenly starving to death as everyone helped themselves and she was in heaven. She loved food, and everything was absolutely delicious.

"You outdid yourself Carolyn," she smiled; she was sitting across from Addison and Mark, who were bantering and enjoying everyone around them. Meredith was just glad to be in a place where she was loved by everyone in the room, and no one saw her as an inconvenience. She knew she should see a therapist about her mommy issues but seeing a therapist would tear down her carefully constructed walls, walls she hadn't even broached with Derek.

* * *

After brunch they gathered around the big Christmas tree in the formal living room, Meredith sitting on Derek's lap. She was amazed at the amount of presents she had, knowing that Derek must've told everyone the things she liked. She got a lot of clothes and giftcards; Derek gave her a necklace to match her ring and she smiled as she let him clasp it around her neck. Addison gave her a dress she'd been eyeing in a boutique in New Haven, and Mark gave her a giftcard to her favorite store. Nancy gave her her a vintage copy of Gray's Anatomy and Meredith couldn't help but laugh.

"I've contemplated stealing my mothers copy, but I like this better," she giggled, setting it next to her with her pile of gifts. She knew Carolyn had given her a lot of them. From Kathleen she got a bangle with her favorite quote on it – 'The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be'. Meredith loved it and after thanking her with a hug, slipped it on her wrist. Lizzie gave her a kindle, which she knew Meredith had wanted after whining about how she had no space in her dorm for all the books she had. Amelia gave her a Starbucks card loaded with 50 dollars. Meredith felt spoiled and she went around the room, hugging and thanking everyone, giving Carolyn extra love for all the gifts. Most of her gifts from her had been clothes, and she loved everything from everyone.

* * *

After everyone had opened their presents and put them away, it was time to go play outside. Meredith and Derek went upstairs to change; Meredith kept her leggings on but switched out her sweater for a thermal shirt and sweatshirt, added another pair of leggings and two pairs of thick socks. She braided the rest of her hair back and pinned it at the nape of her neck, before they both went downstairs and pulled on their snow stuff. It was freezing outside with plenty of snow, and once they headed out the back door and joined the rest of the family, Meredith was immediately pelted with a snowball. She pushed her hood back slightly and glared around; Mark looked guilty so she ran after him, trying to run through the foot of snow that covered the backyard. She was tiny but she tried to tackle him, jumping on his back and effectively taking him down.

"HAH! I got you," she said triumphantly. What she wasn't banking on was him grabbing her ankles and standing up.

"Nope, I'm got YOU," he smirked, and he pouted, trying to shake her off, and finally he did, leaving her on her back in the snow, looking up at him.

"I hate you," she laughed, standing up and brushing the snow off of her, gazing around in search of Amelia, who she knew would be on her side. She found her hiding behind a tree, stockpiling snowballs.

"This would be great but we need a fort," she said to the girl, a mischevious smile on her face. "You make the snowballs and I'll make the fort," Meredith giggled. She started making bricks and piling them into a curved wall formation, and in the better part of an hour they had a fort to themselves. Meredith could see over the wall if she stood on her knees, and it was perfect.

"How many snowballs do you have?" she questioned, before she saw the huge pile Amelia had made. There had to be at least one hundred and the girl was still making them. Amelia smiled back smugly, as Derek chanced to walk by. Meredith grabbed a snowball and chucked it at him with perfect aim, smacking him in the face. He whipped around and found his girlfriend grinning wickedly and he smirked, shaking his head.

"This is war, you know," he grinned, reaching down and making a snowball, but Meredith ducked and the snowball hit Amelia.

"Hey! That's not fair, she did it!" she pouted.

"All's fair in love and war, little sister," he teased. Soon the rest of the family came, some joining Meredith and Amelia, some on the other side of the wall, and there was an all-out snowball fight.

* * *

After showering off the snow and cold, Meredith slipped into a green velvet dress with black tights and her black heals from the night before. Blow drying and straightening her hair, she put on her necklace and ring from Derek, carefully doing her makeup. Christmas had been great so far and she was looking forward to dinner and even more Shepherd traditions. Ever since she had met Derek, her life had increased dramatically and she still couldn't believe that this was her life now. Derek was already downstairs and she leaned forward, carefully applying her red lipstick, before deciding she was ready. Heading downstairs she found him in the living room reading a book he'd gotten from one of his sister. She paused in the doorway and smiled, before striding in and taking a seat next to him.

"Hey handsome," she smiled, leaning over and kissing his cheek.

"Hey you, you look gorgeous," he smiled back.

"This has been the best, most perfect Christmas I've ever had," she told him, her smile widening. She knew it would make him happy.

"I'm so glad, even if we had a bad start to break," he said with a small sigh, holding her close. There was nowhere else she'd rather be right now, than on this couch with him and she drew him into a long kiss, hardly daring to believe that the past two days were reak.

* * *

 **Here's Christmas pt 2! I'm kind of on a huge writing streak, so everything is getting updated rather quickly. I'm definitely not questioning, just cranking out updates for you guys! Hope you like this one!**


	11. Where Does the Good Go

After Christmas, Meredith, Derek, Addison, and Mark decided to head to NYC for New Years. They had friends from Yale who lived in impressive penthouses, with parents who wouldn't be home that night. They split two hotel rooms at the Waldorf Astoria, taking a few days to explore the city and have fun. It was freezing cold but Meredith didn't really mind it; she was from Boston and was used to running around, bundled up from head to toe.

During the days, the two couples would head out separately, and Meredith and Derek would find fun things to do. Her favorite thing was strolling through Central Park; they always found something different every day. New York was magical during the holidays and she loved every moment of it. She hated getting caught in Times Square but much preferred the quiet streets of Greenwich Village, in particular a tiny British tea shop called Tea and Sympathy. She loved it so much that she dragged Derek there every day for tea and scones, giggling in the warmth of the shop.

She loved everything about the city, and could see herself living there someday. Running down the sidewalks filled with people, giggling like crazy as snowflakes fell. It made her feel alive, it made her feel like she was a part of something bigger than just herself, it made her want to shout giddily that she was here, that she had arrived.

As they were walking through the park on a particularly cold day, Derek's arm wrapped around her waist to keep her warmer, she couldn't help but smile.

"I want to live here," she smiled, looking up at him. He looked down at her with a laugh, kissing her forehead that was peeking out from under her hat.

"And why's that, princess?" She giggled; ever since he'd visited her house he'd taken to calling her princess, despite the fact that she was the exact opposite.

"Because it's New York City. It's the center of like…everything. And it's so busy, I love it. Boston is so laid back and New Haven is so tiny. You're from here, you don't get it," she teased him, pressing a kiss to his lips.

"Nope, I live 45 minutes away by car, less by train, I came here all the time growing up," he laughed, holding her close. But he knew once she got an idea in her head she was going to see it through one day, and he knew one day the two of them would be living in NYC.

* * *

New Years Eve came and Derek found himself getting dressed up in a shirt and tie with dress pants. Meredith, however, seemed to be stuck in the bathroom of their hotel room getting ready. Eventually she opened the bathroom door and stalked out, and Derek's jaw dropped.

She was dressed in a silver sequined cocktail dressed that flared at the waist, with black heels. Her blonde hair was done up in a French twist, and her makeup was dark and smoky. Red lipstick adorned her lips, with diamonds in her ears, her ring on her finger, and a diamond bracelet around her wrist.

"Holy crap, Meredith," he said, unable to take his eyes off of her. She was stunning. No, she was beyond stunning. She was breathtaking. He took her by the waist and caught her up in a kiss and she smiled against his lips.

"I love you," she whispered, her fingers combing through his hair.

"I love you too," he grinned, squeezing her tight. "Come on, it's ten, we should get going," he said. She pulled on her coat and grabbed her clutch, which only included her room key, her ID, and her lipstick, before the pair took the elevator downstairs and managed to get a cab. It took forever to get to their friend's penthouse; it was nearly eleven when they did, but finally they arrived and they were thrilled. Meredith found Addison right away and Derek went off in search of drinks.

"Addie! Oh my god, it took us for freaking ever to get here, you look fabulous!" she said, latching on to her best friend. Addison had clearly had a few drinks and was a little wobbly on her heels.

"No YOU look fabulous, oh my god, where did you get that dress?" she asked her. Meredith shrugged a bit.

"BCBG, I fell in love with it the other day when we were in Soho. Derek is absolutely in love with this look, I'm considering dressing up for class everyday," she smirked, as Derek returned and handed her a very strong cranberry and vodka. She drank it greedily, wanting to be drunk by midnight. "Have you seen Ella yet? Her parents place is great," she said, although she knew her own mothers house was crazy, huge, and well-decorated. Addison shook her head

"Last I heard she was drunk and her boyfriend was holding her hair back.' Both girls made faces, remembering the tequila incident they had had a few weeks ago, and Meredith silently hoped that didn't happen to her again, despite her affinity for tequila.

"Come on Der," she grinned, the vodka having gone straight to her head as she pulled him onto the makeshift dance floor. One of her favorite songs by Walk the Moon was playing and she smiled as he twirled her around. "Dance with meee," she giggled, leaning in for another kiss. Somehow she managed to get him to dance with her for forty five minutes, and by that time they were five minutes from midnight. She could hear corks being popped all over the apartment and a champagne flute was shoved into her hand. She'd had a few more drinks by now and was giddy from the alcohol, an arm around Derek's waist.

Someone started the countdown, but she wasn't there for that. She dragged him onto one of the many baclony's that gave them a view of the ball dropping in times square and she smiled as she watched it descend. When it hit the bottom she clinked her champagne flute with his and downed what was in it, leaning in and wrapping her arms around him.

"Happy New Year, Derek," she smiled happily, her tongue slipping into his mouth as they made out on the balcony of the penthouse. It had been a hell of a year and a semester, and she wouldn't change anything in the world.

* * *

After a week in NYC, the four of them went back to the Shepherd house for the rest of break. Classes started on the 13th so they had less than two weeks left, but they made the most of their time there and had fun. It snowed more so there were more snow wars, and Carolyn tried to teach Meredith how to cook, which she learned she was actually good at.

The end of break came too fast, however, and soon the four of them were packing up Meredith's car and driving the hour back to New Haven. Dragging everything upstairs and getting into their rooms was so anticlimactic; nothing had changed over the holidays obviously, but at least for Meredith and Addison, they had new clothes to unpack and things to display on their shelves. Meredith had a package in the office and sighed, not looking forward to wading through the snow and freezing cold to retrieve it, but she did.

It was a package from her mother and she groaned, wondering what her mother had decided to get her for Christmas this year, not to mention that she had been home and she had neglected to give her anything. Once she had arrived back at her room and peeled off all her layers, she sat on her bed with the package. Inside the box three small Tiffanys boxes, her second this Christmas, and inside the first was a pair of pearl earrings with a note:

 _Because every young woman should own a set of pearls._

 _Xx_

 _Mother_

She opened the second to find a pearl necklace, and the third held a bracelet. Meredith was completely shocked; she knew it wasn't that her mother didn't care, it was that she was just so busy all of the time. The gifts touched her and she quickly tucked the boxes away in her underwear drawer with a small smile before pulling out her phone and composing a text message.

 _Received your package today – love the gifts. Thank you for thinking of me, I l_ _ove you, mom._

 _Xx_

 _Meredith Elizabeth_

Meredith felt herself tearing up, and she was exhausted, so she simply got ready for bed, changing into her pajamas and brushing her teeth. She headed across the hall to say goodnight to Derek, lingering in his arms longer than usual, before heading back across the hall and climbing into bed.

Maybe Ellis had a heart for her daughter after all.

* * *

 **A little shorter than usual but I felt the ending with Ellis's gifts was powerful! I see myself writing them with a bit of healing, probably in time for MerDer's wedding ;)**


	12. Enchanted

Getting back into the swing of things after winter break was hard, especially when there was still a foot of snow on the ground. It was below zero and Meredith was dreading waking up in the morning for class. Luckily, the foursome had scheduled all their classes together to make life easier. Still, getting out of her warm bed proved difficult but she finally did it, her teeth chattering, as she pulled on a pair of leggings and a heavy sweater, her feet immediately going into a worn out pair of Uggs. Addison was just waking up and she dressed similarly, the two girls looking miserable. She braided her hair to keep it out of her face and grabbed her coat, scarf, and bookbag, the two girls stumbling downstairs.

Mark and Derek were already at their usual table, so they left their things with them and grabbed breakfast and grabbed a seat, Meredith guzzling her coffee.

"I'm already done with this semester. Can it be May already?" she sighed, stirring her oatmeal and taking a bite. She had managed to put makeup on and do her hair, but that was the only effort she was doing this week, when they were just going over the syllabi. When all of them were finished they put on their coats and headed outside. Being from Boston, Meredith was used to this, but it didn't make her any less miserable.

"I'm going to med school in Florida or California," she whined, as Derek wrapped an arm around her and laughed.

"Last week it was NYC," he teased her, pulling her hat off and kissing her. She turned her head and smiled, catching his lips in a kiss as they walked the icy pathways to the building their class was in. As usual they went over the syllabus and the fearsome foursome were on their way to their next class.

That's how their day went, ending with them in the dining hall again, cold and tired. Meredith picked at her salad as she drank a mug of hot chocolate, still in her coat. She felt like an eskimo with the furry hood up, the coat going down to her knees, but whatever. She was cold and tired. Derek watched her with concern, and once he was finished he picked her up.

"Bedtime for you," he laughed, and she weakly waved goodbye to Mark and Addison. Derek grabbed both of their bags and managed to carry her up four flights of stairs, before laying her down on her bed. She looked up at him and made a face.

"Stay with me," she whined, surprising herself. She wasn't a whiney person but she was just so cold and so tired. She managed to get out of her coat and under the covers, before he crawled in with her. The bed was warm and she and Addison had the heat blasting, and soon Meredith was asleep in Derek's arms.

* * *

Valentines day came up quickly, and soon Derek was telling Meredith to get dressed up. That evening she put on a red cocktail dress and put her hair into a French twist, wearing the pearls her mother had given her and the ring Derek had given her for Christmas. Showing up at her dorm room in a suit and a dozen red roses, Meredith had a huge smile on her face. She put the roses in a vase and slipped her feet into black heels, black tights already adorning her legs. Whisking her off to a romantic dinner, he presented her with another ring – this one was silver with the infinity symbol twisted on it. She loved it and slipped it onto her finger along with the promise ring. Now she had two important symbols of their relationship: the promise and the infinity. Together forever.

"I can't wait until we're married," she confessed, her voice low and nervous. He looked at her, his hands holding hers, a twinkle in his eye.

"I can't either," he promised her, leaning across the table to kiss her forehead.

* * *

The next few months passed quickly and busily. The foursome were consumed by their pre-med classes and barely had time for much else. Exhaustion was common as were passing out in each other's rooms, sometimes on the floor if they didn't feel like moving. Suddenly it was the first week of May and Meredith and Addison were studying together, a cool breeze coming in through the window. Finals were upon them and they were about to finish their Freshman year. They were excited about that, but both girls were even more excited about the vacation the four had planned; they were taking a Caribbean cruise to celebrate surviving their first year at Yale.

* * *

Once finals were over, it was a chore to pack up the rooms and fit everything back in their cars. Derek and Mark were at least going to the same place; Addison and Meredith were going two separate places. Meredith was returning to Boston for a few days, to unpack and store her things before repacking for the cruise. After the cruise, she was spending the rest of her summer in New York with Derek, naturally.

On their last day together, the four parted with a group hug even though they were reconvening at the Shepherds in five days. Meredith got into her car and started driving towards Boston, dreading getting home. She knew her mother was going to want to have dinner with her and she sighed, debating this over and over during the two and a half hour drive.

Finally she got home and parked around back, grabbing a few of her bags and heading inside. One of the housekeepers, Maria, gave her a hug and a warm smile.

"It's so nice to see you, Miss Meredith," she said, hugging her tightly. Meredith grinned, her braid hanging over her shoulder as she hugged the woman back.

"It's nice to be home! Even if I'm leaving in a few days," she said.

"I'll have some of the boys carry your things in," she said as Meredith nodded, heading upstairs with what bags she had. Her floor of the house was blissfully clean with the windows open; she could see Boston Harbor from the window seat in her bedroom and breathed in the fresh, clean air. She wished she could spend more time here but her mother made it impossible.

She was laying on her big four-post bed when another maid, Laura came in.

"Your mother says dinner is at seven and dress nicely, people from the hospital are coming." Meredith simply nodded; she was more than used to this. She hadn't missed this lavish lifestyle though, with expensive dinner parties and such. Sure her clothes cost a fortune and they'd picked a Disney cruise to go on, since they were 18 or 19 and wanted to have fun, plus they were going to Disney beforehand as well. They couldn't drink in Disney or on the cruise, but they could drink when the ship was docked in the Caribbean.

Soon her things were being brought up and she directed where they were to go; she had them put in her TV room. She was trying to figure out what to wear to her mothers dinner party tonight at the moment. She had a closet full of formal clothes, a lot of them from her private school days, now being used at Yale, and she sighed.

Several hours later Meredith found herself in a black Zac Posen cocktail dress that was tight, then flared at the waist. On her feet she wore a pair of pointed toe Jimmy Choo's with an ankle strap, a glass of champagne in her hand. The formal living room was filled with interns and residents and Meredith was already bored by it all. Several had tried to hit on her before she informed them that she was Ellis's nearly 19 year old daughter, who was happily taken. Some stared at her from across the room while she sulked in the corner, having several flutes of champagne. Her dress had pockets and her phone was tucked into one but she didn't dare touch it.

Francis announced that dinner was served and she slunk into the dining room with everyone else. Her place was next to her mother near the head of the table and she sighed. This wouldn't end well.

"Hello darling, you look beautiful," Ellis said to her daughter, kissing her on both cheeks and hugging her. Meredith forced a smile and hugged her back.

"Hello mother, it's been awhile," she said as she sat down.

"You're much too think, Meri, are you eating?" She resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"Yes mother, I'm eating and running every day," she said as a salad was placed in front of her. Her spoiled self had missed Francis and his cooking. She ate it quietly, trying to ignore her mother, who was talking to the intern across from her. He barely looked older than 25, but then again Meredith was still 18.

The rest of the dinner party went well, with Meredith managing to avoid her mother and be seen but not heard. After dinner they once again retreated to the living room where there was coffee, tea, and dessert, but Meredith slipped outside to call Derek. The phone rang a few times and he picked up.

"Hey McDreamy," she teased with a smile, sitting on a low stone wall, her heels touching the ground.

"Hey Mere, how are you?" he asked her. God, she missed him already. Only a few more days and they'd be flying to Florida together.

"Eh. Mother threw a dinner party and started picking at me so I came outside to call you," she said with a shrug. "I can only talk for a minute before she'll miss me to pick on, but I figured I'd call to say I love you," she said with a smile. He was touched.

"I love you too, princess. Can't wait for the cruise." She grinned, twirling a piece of her curled hair around her finger.

"Neither can I, it's going to be amazing! A week on a cruise with you, Mark, and Addie? We're going to get into sooo much trouble," she giggled. She knew it was true. "Anyway I should get going but I just wanted to call you. I love you and I'll see you in a few days. Goodnight!"

She headed back inside to the party, taking a cup of coffee and perching on a chair somewhat near her mother. She was bored as all hell, but soon the young doctors began departing, and it was just her and her mother. Ellis moved closer to her and Meredith grew anxious.

"So tell me about school, Meri," she smiled, noticing Meredith was wearing the pearls she had given her for Christmas.

"It's…amazing. I'm learning so much about medicine and I really love it. I have a 4.0 and I'm on the Dean's List for the second semester. I've had a boyfriend there for nearly a year, he's pre-med as well. We're going on vacation next week." Ellis nodded and listened to her for once in her life. She was proud of her daughter for doing so well; she didn't know she was doing so well and striving so hard because of her.

"I'm proud of you, Meri, you really turned yourself around from high school. You're showing me that you're mature and you know what you want. Good for you," she said with a smile, before standing up. "I'm going to get to bed, I have an early surgery. But it's good to see you, I hope I can see you before you leave." With that she got up and went upstairs.

Meredith was wondering what sort of alien had taken over her mothers body, but she didn't question it. She was exhausted as well and went upstairs soon after, shedding the expensive dress and shoes for a threadbare t-shirt of Derek's. The breeze from the open window felt great in her warm room and soon she was falling asleep, happy to be in her own bed.

* * *

It was no time at all before Meredith had packed two suitcases full of sundress, formal wear, bikinis, coverups, shorts and tanks, and more summery things, and was driving down to Westchester. She was so excited they were doing the whole Disney thing – one week in Disney and one week on a Disney cruise. It took her three and a half hours to get to the Shepherds, but once she did, Amelia was running outside to greet her as usual.

"Hey kid!" she grinned, hugging her tightly.

"Why are you guys going away for so long? I'm going to miss you all like crazy! Even Addison and I'm not as close to her," she pouted, and Meredith laughed.

"When you're in college you'll understand why you need to just get away sometimes," she teased. Addison was already there so the two girls headed inside, and Derek ran down the stairs, catching her in a hug.

"There's my girl," he grinned as he twirled her around.

"Ahh yes I survived my mother. She actually told me she was proud of me, it was the weirdest moment ever," she laughed, pressing a kiss to his lips. He laughed and shook his head.

"Come on, let's move your luggage to my car, we have to be at the airport in an hour so we should leave soon," he said, and they headed outside to move her things, including her carry on.

"What are the sex crazed pair doing?" she smirked, rolling her eyes.

"Oh you know. Having sex," he shrugged and she had to laugh. Her laugh brought Carolyn around, who gave her a huge hug.

"It's so good to see you, Meredith darling!" she said, and Meredith grinned.

"It's good to see you too! Thank you for letting me stay here all summer, I really appreciate it. I think if I had to stay in Boston I'd go crazy," she laughed.

* * *

Soon, Addison and Mark came downstairs, and Carolyn drove the four of them to the airport. It took awhile to get all their bags checked and through security, but finally they were waiting at their gate. They had an evening flight which was great, because their park hoppers for the parks didn't start until tomorrow. As they got onto the plane and Meredith sunk into her seat next to Derek, she was excited to begin their crazy Disney adventure.

* * *

 **Sorry for the HUGE time hop but writing about classes every day gets so redundant! I wanted to get them to the summer so it would be time for fun!**

 **As always, read and review!**


	13. Barefoot Cinderella

Meredith couldn't wait for the plane to land so they could be in Florida, and ultimately, Disney. She'd gone as a kid but hadn't been since and she was extremely excited. Once they landed and grabbed their bags, they were herded over to Mickey's Magical Express, which would take them to their hotel. They were staying at the Beach and Yacht club, and the four of them had gotten a villa, which meant they had a kitchen, two bedroom, two bathrooms, and a washer and dryer unit. The pool was her favorite part; it had sand on the bottom complete with a slide, and they could walk to Epcot in five minutes.

Once the bus deposited them at the hotel, they spent about 20 minutes checking in before heading up to their rooms. Meredith immediately claimed the room with the giant bathtub, before climbing on the bed and jumping up and down. She felt like a little kid as she laughed, climbing down only when there was a knock on their door; it was someone with their luggage. Mark and Derek helped him take it off the luggage cart, while Meredith and Addison dragged it into the respective rooms. Once the bags were settled, they looked at each other and smiled.

"Should we go to Epcot?" Mark smirked, and they all nodded. The girls scrambled for their bags and sunglasses and off they went into Epcot. It only took a few minutes to walk to the main gates where they swiped their key cards, and suddenly they were in the middle of it all.

"I wonder if they'd card us, we all look older than we are," Mark smirked, and Meredith swatted his arm.

"As much as I want to…" she said, biting her lip as she passed a stand selling margaritas. Doing a double take she hopped in line, using her fake ID, and returned to the group with a strawberry margarita, proud of herself.

"Your move," she smirked at Mark, who, when they ended up in the Great Britain portion, snagged a beer from the fish and chips booth. It would become their challenge to get drinks every night, and eventually they would end up drinking around the world, or drinking in every single country in Epcot.

* * *

That first night in Disney they didn't do much but wander around, sampling food and drinking, but eventually there were fireworks that they loved, and Derek was the one who figured out they'd be able to see them from the balcony on their hotel room.

"Yeah but it's so much cooler seeing them in the parks!" Addison laughed, leaning over the railing into the water as she watched the fireworks explode over Spaceship Earth. They'd gone on rides and had a blast, and tomorrow they had dinner reservations at one of the restaurants in Canada, but tonight after the fireworks they were all drained. They followed the crowds out the gates, and slipped in the back way to their hotel, taking the elevator. Their room was freezing in contrast to the humidity outside and it felt great. Falling into bed Meredith couldn't help but smile. She was so excited they were on this trip and about to have the time of their lives.

* * *

Waking up early the next morning, simply because she was still used to it, Meredith watched the sunrise over Epcot as she drank a cup of coffee on the balcony. It was already warm and she basked in it, before going back into the room and dressing in a navy dress with a lace back and a brown leather pair of flip flops. By now everyone was awake in the villa, shuffling around for coffee and getting dressed. She stood in front of the mirror and did a crown braid around her head, needing her hair off her shoulders. It was just too hot for it to hang down. They were starting in the Magic Kingdom today with a princess breakfast at Cinderella's Royal Table (because she and Addison had insisted), plus they were doing more than one day in the Magic Kingdom. They knew they'd end up in Downtown Disney or Epcot every night so it didn't matter.

Soon everyone was ready and they headed downstairs to catch the bus to the Magic Kingdom, Meredith leaning against Derek. They sat together on the bus and suddenly they were through the gates. It was early still but they were allowed through for their breakfast reservation. The girls had decided to Disneybound: Meredith was dressed in a hot pink dress and gold flip flips flops for princess Aurora, her blonde hair down her back and a small tiara on her head, and Addison had decided to go with Giselle from Enchanted, wearing a pink floral dress, mirroring hers from near the end of the film. The girls had linked arms and were giggling like crazy as they strolled down a nearly empty Main Street, the castle in perfect view.

"Guys wait!" Derek grinned as he handed one of the cast members his phone. The boys flanked the girls for a photo in front of the castle, then they took couple shots, then individuals, and they were set, back on their course to the restaurant. Once they got there, there was a long line to meet Cinderella but they bypassed that and went upstairs to get seated.

* * *

Breakfast was great, and then they were off in the parks. Meredith insisted on riding Peter Pan first, because it was one of her favorite films, and she grinned as she slid into a flying ship with Derek, looking down at all the scene from the film. When it was over, she just wanted to run from ride to ride. She was an 18-year-old child let loose in Disneyworld with unlimited funds, ready to have fun.

"Let's ride the teacups! Alice is my favorite," she grinned, as the four piled into a teacup. She and Addison spun it around so they were insanely dizzy, the two girls giggling like crazy as the guys looked a little green in the face. After the ride they sat down, partially for the guys to recover from the ride, and partially to drink water in the intense heat from the early morning.

The rest of the day went like that, with the girls running from ride to ride, grabbing fast passes for the ones they wanted the most and for the princesses, the guys running behind them. They certainly were keeping them on their toes today, and they were all having the time of their lives.

* * *

They stayed at the park all day, and somehow snagged prime parade viewing spots for the Main Street Electrical Parade, and afterwards they watched Wishes behind the castle. All in all, the day had been fantastic and on the way back to their resort Meredith and Addison doze. However, they got back to the hotel and ended up at Epcot for another night of illegal drinking and the girls got a second wind. Meredith somehow ended up doing shots of tequila in Mexico, and somehow that night it stayed down. She decided it was her poison of choice as she danced in a huge crowd with her boyfriend and best friends, wishing she could be 18 forever.

* * *

 **Sorry this took forever! I just started back at school so that's been crazy, and I got into a car accident yesterday too. Some lady hit me going 25 mph (I was at standstill) and I got a concussion. I'm sleepy all the time and my head hurts but I'm trying to churn things out as fast as possible! Please read and review!**

 **I made an edit to the latest of chapter of Came to Dance if you want to read it!**


	14. Kiss The Girl

The next day they decided to hit Hollywood Studios, because Meredith wanted to ride the Tower of Terror as many times as she could, and no one had any objections to that. They paraded through the streets, chatty and excited as they entered the queue for the ride, excited just to be in Disney at all. They'd come up with the idea over spring break and had been looking forward to this trip since then. When Meredith had admitted she'd never been, they all got even more excited about breaking Meredith's Disney virginity.

So far she was loving the parks and loving Florida. It rained at least once a day but it didn't matter, neither did the crazy heat. She and Addison had matching tiara's and wore them around the parks every day, and had persuaded the guys to get Mickey ears and wear them with them. Every chance they found, they took photos; they were having the time of their lives.

They ended up riding Tower of Terror four times. Every time they got off, Meredith or Addison insisted they get back in line, until Mark said his stomach had dropped out too many times. They decided to do Star Tours next, since the boys were obsessed with Star Wars and had made the girls obsessed as well over winter break, making them see the new film four times.

After Star Tours came Toy Story's Midway Mania, where it was Meredith and Derek against Addison and Mark. Meredith had no idea what she was doing so she aimed her blaster gun at anything and everything, and somehow they beat Addison and Mark. Giving Derek a high five, she climbed on his back, her Ray-Bans sliding down her sweaty face as Addison took a photo of the couple. Meredith barely weighed anything so Derek easily carried her to their next destination, Rockin' Roller Coaster.

Derek and Meredith shared a pair of seats, with Addie and Mark in front of them. The ride went from 0 to 60mph in literally one second, and Meredith couldn't even feel them going upside down. The coaster was finished in under 60 seconds and Meredith was filled with such a thrill that she wanted to go again, but everyone else was hungry and it was time for their lunch reservation anyway.

* * *

After lunch it was starting to rain, and they were tired and sweaty anyway so they caught the bus back to their hotel. Everyone showered and laid down for a nap, Meredith curled up with Derek. The afternoon was spent napping; they had dinner reservations at one of the French restaurants in Epcot but napping the afternoon heat away was great.

Waking up was hard, but they had reservations at 7. Derek was the first one awake and he woke Meredith up with a gentle kiss. She stretched lightly, her eyes fluttering open as she smiled at Derek.

"Hey sunshine," she smiled, rolling over to face him. Waking up next to him was amazing and she couldn't wait until it was a forever thing.

"Mmm hey princess," he smiled, pulled her closer for another kiss.

"Mmmm I have to get dressed," she pouted, knowing exactly what dress she wanted to wear. He pouted as well as she slipped from under the covers, pulling out a knee length teal silk halter dress. She slipped into it and zipped it up the back, doing her usual crown braid. Derek watched her get ready, watching her apply makeup, something Addison helped her get better at over the school year, as he got himself into a pair of khaki shorts and a navy polo shirt that he'd had forever. Meredith turned around, her skirt flaring and she smiled, nude lip gloss on her lips.

"How do I look?" she smiled, reaching for a pair of brown espadrilles, wrapping the ribbons around her ankles and standing up. She was markedly taller, much more on her level and he wrapped his arm around her waist, locking her in a kiss.

"You are the most beautiful woman on the planet," he smiled, and she grinned, giving another twirl.

"And you are great at flattery, but I love you," she laughed, grabbing a brown cross-body bag and tossing in her wallet, phone, and ID – fake and real – before slinging it over her shoulder. To Derek she looked like a dream, a princess from a long time ago as she went into the main room, banging on Mark and Addison's door.

"You two better be ready and not having sex in there!" she yelled, just as Mark opened the door with a smirk.

"Keep your panties on, Grey, we're coming," he said, as Addison came out behind him in a short dress, the bodice beaded, her red hair down her back. The four of them took a stupid selfie using Meredith's phone, before leaving for dinner. Luckily it was only a ten minute walk and they were at the restaurant in no time at all. Dinner was fun, especially since no one carded them once, much like the rest of the week. The food was delicious and Meredith didn't ever want to leave.

* * *

Their week in Disney came to an end but they still had a week on the cruise. A shuttle picked them up from the hotel and brought them to the port, and Meredith stared up at the massive ship. Their bags were whisked away, to be delivered to their room later, and they boarded the ship by a massive gangplank. Inside, the ship was elegant and opulent, and they had photos of them taken as they milled about the main room that held staircases and elevators.

After awhile Meredith's phone went off, notifying them that their rooms were ready. She went up to the front desk and got the keys to both her and Derek's room, and Addie and Marks room. They were on one of the higher decks and they found their way there. Once Meredith threw open the door, she gasped. The room was absolutely massive and gorgeous. There was the bedroom and bathroom, along with a table and chairs and the sitting area with a pullout couch and television unit. She walked through the place with a smile. Addie and Mark were just across the all in a room just like theirs.

"This is perfect," she smiled, wrapping her arms around Dereks neck, standing on her tip-toes to kiss him. He grinned back, hugging her tightly.

"Definitely perfect," he smiled. There was a knock at the door and it was a man with their bags; Derek quickly tipped him and pulled the bags into the room. Meredith had wandered out onto the deck, watching the ocean. Dressed in a pale pink dress that was accented by her tan skin. As her hair blew in the wind, his breath caught in his throat. He'd never seen a sight so beautiful as his barefoot girlfriend on the deck of the ship. After a moment she came back inside, her hair windswept with a smile on her face.

"So the view is great," she smirked, as Derek caught her in his arms. He kissed her deeply and she smiled; so far the cruise was turning out to be just as great as Disney World had been, and they still technically has seven more days of Disney.

"What was that for?" she grinned, as she looked up at him, their arms still around each other.

"Just because I love you," he smiled, holding her close.

* * *

 **A bit short but there's more fun to be had in upcoming chapters!**


	15. Marry Me

Their first day on the cruise was a day at sea, and Meredith loved it. She lay by the adult-only pool with a book and a white bikini, tanning and relaxing. There was just something about being by a pool while being at sea at the same time. Every so often she'd put her book town and lean on the railing, watching the world go by, and feel so significantly small by how vast the ocean around them was. It was just the ship and the ocean. She hated thinking so existentially when she didn't have to, so she'd go back to her book, Addison in the lounge chair next to her, the two boys in the pool.

Exploring the ship after being at the pool was fun. There was a theater for live shows, as well as a huge movie theater. Sometimes they randomly ran into a character walking the halls, but there were also character experiences for photo opportunities. There was a pool with a slide, but that was filled with kids (not that Meredith minded). She knew there were parties on deck every night, and there were 18+ clubs for them to go to, plus out on the ocean the drinking age was 18. There were spas and salons all over the place, multiple gyms if she felt like working out on her vacation, and as they found out the night before, the food was amazing.

But she always returned to the quiet serenity of the pool on that first day. There was just something about being on a cruise, knowing her birthday was in a few short day, and she was in the Caribbean instead of holed up in her study carrel at Yale.

Derek climbed out of the pool and hovered over her; she slid her sunglasses back and set her book down with a smile.

"And how's your book? I know for a fact you've read that one at least twelve times," he grinned, sitting by her feet. She couldn't help but roll her eyes and laugh.

"What can I say? I'm a sucker for a good rags to riches love story," She smirked, sitting up and leaning forward so that she could kiss him. He kissed her back, teasing her with the ties on her bikini and she laughed, slapping his hands away.

"Hey, no touching. Look all you want but the bikini is staying on, this is a family cruise," she laughed, laying back. He couldn't help but roam his eyes over her tiny, taut body. She was beautiful; no, she was perfect. He loved her more than anything in this world, he thought, as he squeezed next to her in the same lounge chair as her. She laughed and whacked his wet skin with her book, rolling her eyes.

"Oooh I can't even have a quiet morning at the pool!" she laughed, shutting her book and pulling her black cover up dress over her head. "Come on, I'm starving," she said, nodding to Addison and Mark who had moved to the pool. "Addie we're going somewhere else," she said with a shrug of her shoulders, slipping into her flip flops and grabbing her bag.

They ended up at the buffet restaurant, which was great because Meredith was ravenous from lying out in the sun all morning. They grabbed everything they wanted and found a table out of the sun, complete with alcohol. She really enjoyed this 'drinking age at 18 in the Caribbean' thing. They chatted while they ate, trying to figure out what her birthday would entail. They were going to be in Mexico and it had the potential to be crazy and wild, Meredith already knew. They were only in Mexico until 6:30 PM that day but she knew they'd still get wildly drunk.

* * *

Later on in the day, after showering and watching a movie in the movie theater, Meredith and Derek returned to their room to get ready for dinner. Every night they had to dress up for dinner and Meredith had to admit, she liked it. They were dining at Triton's tonight, and she pinned her hair back in an elaborate style, wearing a strapless, lacey cocktail dress with heels.

"I look like my mother at one of her stupid hospital benefits," she complained, picking at her hair, as Derek came up behind her.

"You look beautiful," he promised her, kissing her neck and making it near impossible for her to resist him as she fastened her pearls. Soon they met Addie and Mark in the hall, the two girls dressed up and the boys wearing ties and blazers as they headed towards the elevators. Once they were at the restaurant Meredith was glad it was dressier, and didn't feel silly in her dress. The food was fantastic, as they'd come to expect, and ordering alcohol was an amusing activity for them all, simply because at home they couldn't.

Dinner was fun, with fancy dishes served to them, and the fearsome foursome had a giggly time pretending that they were all older than 18 and 19. Sometimes it was fun to play pretend, to matter what age you were.

* * *

The next day was their day in Mexico, and ultimately Meredith's birthday. Derek let her sleep in as long as she wanted to, while he took the opportunity to sit on their deck. They had wifi on the ship so he skyped with his mom.

Meredith woke up around ten with a smile, wandering out to the deck in her tiny little nightgown.

"Hey," she smiled, twisting her ring around her finger. Derek popped out of his chair and wrapped his arms around her, pressing a kiss to her lips.

"Happy birthday, Mere," he grinned, and she grinned back. They had fun plans in Cozumel today, and she was thrilled. She was 19, one year away from being 20 when she would be an actual adult and her mother let her have control of her trust fund.

Breezing back into the bedroom, Meredith selected a royal blue silk tank dress that tied in the back with a bow. She felt almost like Alice in Wonderland, but her dress was darker, and her hair a bit too dark. She braided her hair into two braids, before pinning the braids on top of her head, making sure neither end showed, letting her side bangs fall out before slipping on a pair of brown leather flip flops. She draped a brown bag across her body which included her passport, ID, wallet, and now her phone as she swiped on lip gloss, tugging a fully dressed Derek out of the room.

Addison and Mark were still in their room so Meredith excitedly knocked, before Addison pulled them both into their room.

"I am under the impression here that someone is turning 19 today," she smirked, before stepping back to reveal the fact that she and Mark had somehow managed to make a mini-bar in their room. Meredith laughed and zeroed in on the tequila; her night at school had clearly taught her nothing. Addie set a rhinestone tiara on top of her braids and she laughed.

"Okay, I am the birthday princess, and no one is leaving this room until we've had three shots of tequila. Each," she spoke, settling on their couch as Mark poured out shots from the huge bottle of tequila.

"TO TURNING 19 IN MEXICO!" Meredith yelled out as they all took their first shot. To Meredith it went down smoothly, not even burning her throat at all, but the rest made horrible gagging faces. A new round was poured and she held up her glass again.

"To summer break!" she yelled out, knocking the second one back like a champ.

"Because the four of us somehow became best friends," she grinned, as she knocked back her third, downing some diet coke to wash out her mouth. She stood up from the couch and after swaying a little she smiled.

"Come on guys, we need to go have fun. You only turn nineteen once!" she smiled, swirling out the door of the stateroom.

* * *

Walking through the streets of Cozumel, the fearsome foursome were laughing and talking, running in and out of shops, the girls buying things they **had** to have for their room at Yale – knowing they'd do that everywhere they stopped – with the boys just laughing. Finally they found a restaurant to have lunch and drinks at and generally have fun. The food was amazing and the drinks were strong, and they found themselves stumbling back to the ship before 6:30, knowing they had to get ready for dinner.

Meredith was still pretty drunk as she did her hair for dinner into an elegant curled up bun, pearls on again and a black tulle dress, pulling on her heels from the night before, a pair she had stolen from her mother back in high school because they were Manolo's. Turning around in the mirror she examined herself over her shoulder, trying to make sure she looked just right for dinner.

"You look stunning," Derek promised her, pressing kisses to her sun-kissed shoulders with a smile. She couldn't help but smile back, snapping a selfie of them together, knowing there would be millions of others. For her birthday they were eating at one of the adult-only restaurants and Meredith was excited.

They left the room only to meet Addie and Mark in the hall, and giggly, drunk Meredith linked arms with Addie as the two stumbled towards the elevators.

"How the hell is Meredith still standing in those heels?" Mark asked Derek, who had his hands in his pockets, toying with her birthday present.

"I think it's a girl thing, my sisters have the same ability," he laughed, following them into the elevator.

Dinner was formal, with a ton of wine and champagne and toasts to Meredith. There was a birthday cake with twenty candles – one extra for luck – and Meredith blew them all out in one breath. There were fireworks that night and after dinner, they made their way up to the top deck. They had a good spot for the fireworks and Meredith was giddy; she knew they weren't for her but it was exciting to have fireworks on your birthday anyway.

The fireworks started and Mere and Addie clung to each other and giggled for a moment before Meredith was all over Derek.

"This was the best birthday ever," she smiled, snuggling up in his arms as they watched the fireworks together. She loved that they had planned this trip over her birthday so that she could celebrate a birthday for the first time in her life.

* * *

When Meredith and Derek arrived back at their room, he held the door and Meredith stopped in her tracks. Everything was covered in rose petals, every surface had roses on display, and written on the mirror was "WILL YOU MARRY ME".

Meredith spun around, her mouth open to find Derek kneeling in front of her, a velvet box and sparkling diamond ring.

"Will you? Marry me, I mean," he asked her. Tears were pooling in her eyes and she smiled, throwing her arms around him.

"Yes, yes! A million times yes," she smiled as his arms wrapped around her tiny form.

"Let me put it on you," he grinned, and Meredith offered up her left hand as he slid the ring on. Closing the door on the suite, Meredith wanted to bask in her happiness all night. Despite being only 19, they both knew what they wanted, and Meredith couldn't think of a happier ending to the first birthday she had ever celebrated.

* * *

 **Soooo what'd you guys think!? I wanted a proposal that could be long ;) Even though I'm doing it in another fic of mine I felt it perfect for this!**

 **As always, read and review!**


	16. First Day Of My Life

Meredith woke up the next morning to find Addison's face incredibly close to her. She screamed loudly, hurridly sitting up.

"What the fuck are you doing!" she yelled, Derek moaning beside her. She had a hangover to match all hangovers, and she rubbed her eye with her left hand, completely forgetting that Addison didn't know about the engagement last night. It had been a quiet, personal moment and Meredith was going to tell her privately, but she felt her hand close around her wrist.

"What is this!" she shrieked, and Meredith shrank under the covers, rolling over to face Derek.

"If I close my eyes will the banshee go away?" she asked with a small giggle, her wrist still being held hostage. Derek laughed and hugged her close, before letting go of her and rolling away.

"I love you but Addie is your best friend, you have to face this," he teased, throwing on a t-shirt and heading across the hall as Addison continued to pepper her with questions.

"Is that what I think it is!? And when did it happen!" she screamed as Meredith came up for air. She pulled her hand back and pouted.

"Yes, it's what you think it is, and it happened last night after the fireworks. We came back to the room and every inch was decorated with rose petals and the mirror by the couch said 'Will you marry me?' and I turned around and he was on his knees with the ring. I know we're young, but we figure…by the time we're done college, we'll get married, and by the time we're finished med school, there might be kids, and then we have our never-ending residency and we'll figure it all out," she said, leaning against the pillow with a smile on her face. Addison laid down in Derek's place and let her friend talk, smiling with her.

"Meredith Grey, child of darkness, getting married. What do you think mommy dearest is going to say?" Addie asked her, as she rolled over to meet her gaze. Meredith sighed, looking down at the sizeable diamond on her hand.

"Mommy dearest loves Derek, but she's not going to be pleased with me being engaged. She's going to tell me I'm unfocused and ordinary, that she raised me to be more than some girl who gets engaged at 19 and gets engaged young and throws her life away so young," she said, wincing. However harsh the words were, she knew it was true. Her mother would rip her apart if she appeared in her home office with an engagement ring on her finger.

"I just have to hide it for two years and when I'm 21 she can get the wedding invitation and then we can have the awkward conversation," she said with a small sigh and a wrinkle of her nose. It was a good thing most of her things now occupied a spare bedroom at the Shepherds; she would only have to go to Boston if her mother requested it. Addison couldn't help but laugh at her reasoning.

"Your mother is going to literally eat both of you up and spit you out when she finds out," Addison said, reaching out and rubbing Meredith's arm. She wasn't wrong; Meredith knew she was in trouble. She was going to be a sophomore in college and she was engaged, but she wasn't getting married until after graduation, so three more summers from now.

"Don't even remind me," she moaned burying her face in her pillow.

* * *

In the other room, Derek was strutting around proudly, before he climbed on Mark and Addion's bed with a gleeful smile. Mark opened his eyes and stared at him.

"This better be good or I'm sending you back to both Meredith AND Addison," he groaned, sitting up and running fingers through his hair. Derek continued to grin.

"I proposed to Meredith last night. She said yes," he said, all giddy. Mark's eyes went wide as he looked slightly panicked for his friend.

"Are you okay? Have aliens taken over your body? What did she say?" Derek laughed.

"I'm fine. No aliens. She said yes. We don't want to get married until after graduation, but it's nice, knowing she's mine," he said with a shrug. "We sort of have it planned out this way, I guess. It's nice knowing that. All planned without having to actually plan it. You know my mom and sisters will be all over it," he smiled, running his fingers through his hair. Yeah, he was excited.

* * *

They were in Grand Cayman that day and Derek and Meredith were all too happy to spend the day lying on the beach together. With a ring on her finger, Meredith was giggly and happy, spending her time in the sun, her hair getting blonder and her skin getting tanner. When they had enough of the sun, they threw clothes over their bathing suits and walked down Cardinal Avenue, peeking in and out of the shops all afternoon. They had dinner reservations on the islands with Mark and Addison on the ship, but the entire day was theirs.

After lying on the beach and shopping all day, Meredith was exhausted as they climbed back into the tender that would bring them back to the ship. She fell asleep in the quick 20 minute boat ride, and woke up as they were being raised to the deck, waking up only to stumble on deck, hair tumbling down her back, shopping bags astray. She steadied herself as they made their way to their room; she wanted a shower before she got ready for dinner.

Dropping her things in the living room area, she left her ring, among her other jewelry, beside her spot on the bed before hopping into the shower. Of course, Derek hopped in with her and she giggled, extending her shower by twenty minutes before they both climbed out, Meredith much more relaxed than she had been when she climbed in. Putting on a white linen halter dress, she put her ring back on her finger and ambled out onto the deck to let her hair dry in the sun, a smile on her face. She was 19 years old and had the entire world at her fingertips.

Derek watched her as he dressed for dinner, a smile on his face. He still couldn't believe that the girl he had bumped into in the quad, the girl who had ended up living across the hall from him, was going to be his wife one day. Eventually he joined her on the deck, drawing her into a long kiss, the two of them unable to contain their joy.

* * *

Dinner was more of a celebration than the night before, with more champagne flowing than previous nights. The drinking age was still 18 because they were in British waters, and the fearsome foursome had never been more pleased. Meredith was the youngest, with her birthday having just been yesterday – the other three had had their birthdays during the year. Tonight though, all the toasts were to Meredith and Derek and their engagement.

Derek asked Mark to be his best man, and Meredith of course asked Addie to be her maid of honor. She knew she would have four eager sisters in New York to be her bridesmaids, but for now she was sharing the moment with Addison, the first girl she had connected with in her new world at Yale.

After dinner the four finally decided to hit up one of the 18+ clubs, drinking themselves drunk and dancing until the morning hours. They were in Jamaica the next day but they didn't care; they were all only 19 once, and this moment would only come along once, with all of them on the ship, all of them 19, and Derek and Meredith newly engaged.

The boys dropped faster than Mere and Addie did, and soon it was just the girls on the dance floor, requesting song after song, dancing like crazy in their painful heels.

"So, have you given any thought to the wedding?" Addison asked her, as the pair raised their hands up in tune to the music. Meredith was out of breath and realized it was 3 am, but she didn't care.

"Not really. I want to get an apartment for us in NYC, maybe, so we have our own place away from his family, probably once I turn 20 and I get my trust fund," she shrugged her shoulders. "Like. I don't know how to think about a wedding that's in 2019. Do you know what I mean?" she asked, shaking her hair out, dancing it out to the music and just having fun.

Addison nodded; looking over her head at the boys. They were at a table together, gazing at the girls.

"Well if you know where you want it to be and you find the dress, snatch it up. That's what Bizzy always taught me," she said with a roll of her eyes, before giggling like crazy. "Then again, Bizzy is crazy," she laughed, holding onto Meredith's shoulders.

Meredith couldn't help but laugh in return.

"You think I've ever received marriage advice besides 'don't do it'? Ellis is fucking insane!" she laughed, throwing back her head. She was beyond drunk and holding onto Addison for support while the two howled about their mothers. This went on for some time until the music shut off and they made their way over to the boys

"Hey handsome" Meredith breathed, jumping into Derek's arms and leaning her head back. He leaned down and kissed her deeply; she tasted of tequila and limes. Addison leaned on Mark as the four of them made their way back to their staterooms. Meredith was in a perpetual state of tequila bliss, her blonder hair streaming over Derek's arm as she chatted with Addison about the wedding.

"My bridesmaids will be wearing lavender, because it's my favorite color and one of Derek's favorite things about me, and our wedding will but in the summer but I don't know where," she drunkenly yapped, until Derek laughed, opening their room.

"I'm taking this princess to bed," he smirked, freeing a hand and waving goodnight to their friends. "Night guys," he said, as Meredith loudly called out goodnight. Behind the closed door, he laid her down on the bed and gently took off her dress, replacing it with a silky nightgown. Her makeup was still on but she figured he could forgive her for tonight.

"Come to me," she smiled, rolling over, just wanting to lay in his arms. Derek quickly changed his clothes and curled up in the bed with her. "I love you so much," she breathed, curling up closer and quickly falling asleep. His head hit the pillow after the long day, his hand resting gently on his back and he couldn't stop smiling. It was going to be a few years from now, but he was marrying Meredith Grey.

* * *

 **Sorry it took so so long to write this! Crazy school and now I'm going to Los Angeles on Wednesday until the 15th! I'll have plenty of time to write on the plane ahaha. If I run into any of the Grey's actors I'll post pics! :P I do plan to write and post updates even though I won't have much time but I'm behind so I need to! And I won't be able to watch the new episode when it airs but I'll be watching the day after! Dreams on Fire will probably be based around the new episode so that won't be updated until then, but the ballet fic should be updated again this weekend! Love you guys!**


	17. The Sweetest Thing

Leaving the paradise of the cruise was hard, as the fearsome foursome landed at JFK. Meredith was tanned, her hair longer and blonder than before, a ring on her finger. She and Derek were spending the rest of the summer at his house; Addison was going home to Connecticut until school started. The great thing was they were all in the same rooms at school as in their freshman year. Eventually Meredith would have to return to Boston and pack up more things, but for now a summer in New York was on the books.

Carolyn picked up the foursome, Meredith taking great care to hide her ring. They babbled incessantly about the cruise to her, giving her highlights about what they had done and such, as Meredith and Addison of course yapped about the shopping they had done. Carolyn was pleased that the four of them had fun, and knew they'd have even more fun when they saw what was waiting for them back at the house.

It took a little over an hour but Meredith found herself at the big, white Shepherd house again, spilling out of the backseat. They all dragged their things inside and Meredith collapsed on Derek's bed. Three weeks of vacation should have led to her being well-rested, but all she wanted to do was sleep. Kicking off her shoes, she put her head on one of the pillows, and next thing she knew Derek was kissing her awake. The sun was fading outside the windows and the smells of dinner were floating upstairs from the kitchen. Slowly, she sat up and smiled, snaking her arms around him.

"Mmm, I totally did not mean to fall asleep," she laughed, looking at the chaos that were their bags and some of the things she'd left behind. Most of her things were mixed with Marks in one of the spare bedrooms. Derek smiled and kissed her forehead.

"Hey, it's not like we had a relaxing vacation, we were always up to something completely crazy. Let's go eat and then we can sit down and tell Mom and the sisters we're getting married," he smiled, looking at her and giving her another kiss. She nervously twirled her ring around her finger, leaving the diamond towards her palm so it looked like a plain band.

* * *

Once the loud and crazy dinner was finished, and the many girls were finished chattering, Derek stood up and cleared his throat. Meredith was between Addison and Amelia and she shrunk slightly in her chair.

"I have an announcement to make," he said with a smile. Since they were at home they were respecting his mothers rules and not drinking underage in the house so there was no wine for anyone under 21 at the table, but they didn't care. Meredith looked up at him with a smile, hiding a giggle behind her hand.

"I asked Meredith to marry me a few days ago," he said, and Meredith smiled widely as everyone's eyes shifted between the pair, before the sisters broke out into shrieks and applause. Meredith felt Amelia pull her into her arms as she was held tightly, the other girls piling themselves on top.

"Oh my gosh Derek! Who knew you could snag a girl AND get her to marry you?" Nancy teased, hugging him tightly on her way to Meredith, who had all four sisters wrapped around her. They were so excited about getting another sister as they scrambled for her left hand to see the ring.

"Damn Derek!" Kathleen shrieked as she saw the sizeable ring on Meredith's hang. He blushed a bit before looking at Meredith. She laughed and looked at the younger girl. "Apparently my brother has good taste and some money stored up somewhere," she teased, heading over to Derek and giving him a tight hug.

"We want to marry the summer after graduation, before med school," Meredith said with a smile. She was so full of warmth and happiness, surrounded by family and the people she loved the most in life, knowing they supported her and Derek's decision in all of this. It was amazing and she knew she had them forever.

* * *

The rest of the summer went by quickly, with trips to the beach and NYC, and hanging out with Derek's sisters and Mark. Soon it was time to head up to Boston to pack up more of her things, a task she was dreading. Throwing on shorts and a cropped shirt, Meredith piled what college things she had into her car, Derek doing the same with his. They were driving to Boston separately and loading more of her things in their cars, driving back to New York, then driving to Yale and getting settled in.

Meredith purposefully arrived at a time she knew her mother would be in surgery, the staff busy around the house but happy to see her and Derek. Lunch was made and brought up to her bedroom and she packed more clothes into suitcases and boxes; she wanted to move out entirely at this point but wasn't sure it was possible. Knick knacks were wrapped in newspaper and clothing, tucked into boxes and labeled. She stripped the bed of the blankets and wrestled them into the backseat. After a few hours, all that was left was the bed covered in sheets, her empty dressers and armoire, and an empty closet. Meredith had officially fled the nest and she took a deep breath, looking back on her childhood bedroom where she'd spent so many moments of her life, before turning to Derek. She was ready for the next chapter to begin for sure.

Heading downstairs with the last bag, she realized Ellis was home and needed a moment to breathe. At the moment she was downstairs but the cars in the wide driveway were obvious – Meredith and Derek were clearly here. Trying to sneak out as fast as possible, they were at the door with the last of the bags and boxes when she heard her mothers voice ring out.

"Meredith dear, I didn't know you and Derek would be home before going back to school." Meredith dropped her things and turned slowly, forcing a smile. She was dressed like she always was to go home; today was a black lace dress with a slip underneath, black flats on her feet.

"Oh, I just wanted to grab a few things before going back to New York and Yale," she said casually, walking up to her mother. She completely forgot about her ring. Luckily, her mother seemed to be on a high from surgery and wasn't taking in her daughters appearance.

"You two should stay for dinner," Ellis entertained, and Meredith pressed her lips together, her fingers lacing together.

"We would be we have to get to school at some point today," she said. Move in continued tomorrow but she really wanted to she Addison. It was at that moment that Ellis looked down at her hand and noticed the ring.

"What's this?" she demanded, and Meredith shrunk within herself.

"It's nothing, just something from Derek," she lied, wishing and hoping that she was able to lie well enough. Ellis narrowed her eyes.

"Did you two get engaged?" she asked her 19 year old daughter, and Meredith sigh, hating every moment of her life right now. She turned to look at Derek, but she had to do this alone.

"Yes, we got engaged. And before you start to lecture me, we know exactly what we want from life, so much more than you and Thatcher did. You and Thatcher had no idea what you were doing, you had a baby when neither of you wanted one, and look how the hell I turned out. Derek and I know what we want. You can tell me how unfocused and ordinary I am, but the truth is I'm more focused than you'll ever be because I have someone supporting me," she said, taking a deep breath.

"If you'd like to talk you have my phone number but I'll be spending most of or all of my time with Derek's family, all of my things are down there. I have a real family now, not just a fake one that's made up of a staff and nannies taking care of me to replace my mother. I have people who love me and that's more important thank anything. Expect a wedding invitation in a few years, Mother," she said, before turning around and grabbing her things off the ground, kicking the solid front door open and heading out to her car.

Derek was dumbfounded by her words, but knew that they had been 19 years coming. He watched as they began fitting things into the two days; she had no remorse and was calm and collected about this. He knew that for the first time she was truly happy, haven gotten the worst out that she wanted to the most.

After giving him a kiss, she climbed back into her Mercedes SUV for the long drive back to New York. She plugged in her iPhone and sang at the top of her lungs, trying to shake off the feeling of Ellis and finally moving out of the large, suffocating brownstone in Boston. She was finally out on her own; she and Derek were going to look at apartments in NYC on weekends and during breaks so they had their own place besides their dorms. She was finally becoming the adult she wanted to be.

Once they reached the Shepherd house again, they quickly unloaded the contents of Meredith's bedroom that wouldn't be coming to school with them, before grabbing Mark and driving up to Yale. When they finally arrived in New Haven, they were all absolutely exhausted from the tiring day, and then they had to move everything into their rooms. Fortunately Addison was already there and helped with all of their things before the foursome split in two to get their rooms ready. Meredith did her bed first incase she collapsed from exhausted; they had the entire weekend to decorate it the way it was last year. She set up her computer next, connecting it to the wifi printers, digging out a pair of pajamas and crawling into bed. Derek came from next door and crawled into bed with her, and the pair fell asleep quickly.

* * *

The next day neither of them moved until at least noon. It was nice, getting able to sleep in before their classes started. Even then, they didn't quite get out of bed until 2, and that was only to wander downstairs to the dining hall to get food. Afterwards, Addie and Mere decorated the room, stringing lights around the perimeter near the ceiling, hanging up motivational quotes, and finally unpacking. They both had more clothes this year but anything that didn't fit in their clothes went in storage under the bed. Sophomore year was exciting with more pre-med classes, and more history for Meredith since it was her determined minor. She knew she was going to go insane but who cared? This was what she wanted. She enjoyed hard work and watching it pay off in the end. Settling down Sunday night, the night before her Sophomore year started, she picked out a dress and shoes, choosing to let her hair fall free. She gazed down at the ring on her finger before falling into bed; she had a 9 am class the next morning. It had been a whirlwind year since meeting Derek and she wouldn't have had it any other way. Her life had changed so much in just a year and she loved every single moment of it.

* * *

 **So here's the next chapter finally! I'm on the plane home and EXHAUSTED but managed to update all three of my stories! Hoping to post this on my layover haha I don't get home till after 11 omg and have to be up at 6 and I live on the east coast but my body adjusted to Pacific time HELP ME! Love you all and review please!**


	18. Tequila

Meredith dreaded her alarm going off in the morning. She was smart and hadn't scheduled an 8am class this semester, but she was still exhausted when 10am rolled around. Addison was gone already, off to an early class. Rolling over and quickly unlocking her phone so she could shut off her alarm, which was blaring 'Shut Up and Dance', one of her and Addison's favorite dance songs, she sighed as she got out from the warm covers to get dressed for organic chem. This semester was going to be pure hell, with a lineup of organic chem, calculus, biology of the immune system and neurobiology. She and Derek were taking all the same classes thank god, so they could study together.

After a quick shower that woke her up, she slipped into a navy dress and flip fops, grabbing a cardigan just in case. Her hair dried as she got ready, putting on a bit of makeup and meeting Derek in the hallway between their rooms.

"Good morning," he said, leaning in and giving her a kiss. She smiled and let her fingers roam through his still damp hair.

"Good morning to you too. Sophomore year. Excited?" she grinned, leaning down and grabbing her tote bag from the ground. It was stuffed with books, her calculator, a bunch of notebooks and notecards, laptop, her water bottle, and plenty more. It probably weighed as much as she did. Either way, she slipped her hand into his as they headed downstairs and to their first class.

* * *

Neurobiology was their first class and taught in a huge lecture hall. Meredith and Derek slid into seats around the middle of the room and pulled their laptops out, Meredith laying her head down on hers for a few minutes before the lecture started. When the professor arrived Derek poked her awake and she groaned, picking up her head and opening the laptop. A few minutes later she felt someone slip into the seat beside her – it was a very tired looking Asian girl with crazy curls. Meredith looked at her disdainfully; she hated latecomers so she turned back to the professor, listening to him talk about the syllabus and then went on to their first lesson.

After class she and Derek filed outside, but the girl who had sat next to her came up to her, tapping her on the back.

"So can you tell me what I missed in the first few minutes?" she asked Meredith, her eyes traveling to Derek. Meredith sniffed disdainfully, shrugging her shoulders.

"Some mumbling and bumbling really, dropping the dry erase marker. It wouldn't be Yale without fossils teaching us," she smirked, her hair moving in the light breeze. The other girl cracked a smile at her joke and held out a hand.

"I'm Cristina Yang, I'm a sophomore transfer from Stanford," she said, and Meredith nodded.

"Meredith Grey, this is my fiancée Derek Shepherd, also sophomores. We're both premed," she said, hiking her bag up her shoulder. Cristina nodded.

"I'm pre-med too, I was psychology but now I'm persuing both," she said. Meredith smiled slightly. She seemed nice, she also seemed intense and on the edge, like she came here to beat everyone out.

"I'm a history minor. Well, I keep going between history and English," she shrugged, moving closer to Derek. "We have to get to our next class but it was nice meeting you. Hopefully well see you around?" she smiled, using all the pleasantries she knew of an upper class girl raised in New England.

"Yeah sure," Cristina said, turning to leave them.

* * *

The whole day was exhausting; they only had two classes every day except Friday, which they blissfully had off. By 3 pm they were finished, and Meredith threw herself dramatically onto her bed, which consisted of her pillow, duvet, pillows shoved against the wall, and a tower of blankets at the end for when it got cold.

"I'm going to die this semester. Two bio classes, organic chem, and calc? We're insane," she groaned as she fell face first into her bed. Derek sat on Addie's bed and shook his head.

"We want to be doctors. You want to be better than your mother. No. You're going to be better than your mother. We're going to be that gross married Neuro couple. Dr. and Dr. Shepherd. Everyone is going to hate us." Meredith couldn't help but laugh, rolling over and clutching her pillow.

"It really is going to be great, isn't it?" she grinned, gesturing for him to come over. He didn't need to be asked twice, he was curled up with her in a flash. Soon they had fallen asleep, a cool breeze coming in through the window.

They only woke up when Addison came in the room, very loudly, dropping her books at her desk.

"Oh my god I met the most annoying people today in class, one of whom I have no fucking idea got in here," she said, slumping on her bed. Meredith sat up sleepily and looked over at her best friend, scrunching her nose.

"I hate those people. Where you're like, do they really deserve to be here? Anyway who were they?" she asked, climbing over Derek who was still sleeping and climbing onto the other bed with Addie, after pouring them both glasses of wine. Hey, it was past 5.

"The girl was named Isobel, or as she annoyingly put it, Izzie. She looked like a model and she was in a few of my med classes. Bubbly and happy. So not our type. Has this guy with her who was short and mousy looking, named George. They seemed to be best friends but god I couldn't get them to shut up and leave me alone, I just wanted to come back here. I gathered that they're sophs like us but thank god we never met them before, I wanted to poke something so far into my ears so I could stop hearing them," she said truthfully, as Meredith choked on her wine.

"I don't really like this meeting new friends thing. Can't the four of us be exclusive forever? Like, seriously. This girl sat next to me in Neurobiology, pretending to be hardcore and shit. Her name's Cristina and she transferred here from Stanford. I'm like, why do you want to leave California for a place where we get five feet of snow in one storm and they still make you go to class?" she snorted, gulping down the contents of her glass of wine. There was a party tonight and there was no way she was going if she wasn't hammered first.

"I have no idea but seriously, people need to stop making friends with me. I have two friends, you and Derek, and one boyfriend, who also happens to be my friend. If they'd like to be my friend they can apply and I can scrutinize and reject it," Addie whined, holding out her glass for more wine, which Meredith gladly topped off. The top of them bitched back and forth for awhile, before Mark entered the room and found the two of them heavily tipsy/borderline drunk after finishing two and a half bottles of wine, with Derek still asleep.

"Good god, women, slow down," he said, although he had a huge bottle of tequila. Meredith popped off the bed and wrestled it from him.

"Mere, get ready for tonight before you start doing shots," Addie slurred, as she slid off her bed and opened her closet, pulling out a black silk dress. Meredith sighed in defeat as she listened to her, heading to her own closet and pulling out an identical dress. She got undressed and slipped the new dress over her head; she knew Mark too well to even care that he was seeing her in her bra and underwear and she knew Addie and Derek didn't care. Retrieving a pair of heels from the closet, she tossed them by the bed, before shaking Derek awake.

"Der..sweetie, wake up," she mumbled, kissing down his neck until he moaned, realizing everyone was in the room, then still not caring.

"What's this occasion?" he asked her, noticing her and Addie matching.

"Party in Saybrook," Meredith said, looking into her mirror and turning her modest daytime makeup into something darker and smokier, adding dark eyeshadow and eyeliner and her favorite red lipstick. Her engagement ring sparkled on her left hand and she added a single long chain around her neck before wandering back to the tequila.

"Come on guys, I've missed my best friend over the summer," she joked. Derek had run across the hall to change and was now back, and shots were being poured. Meredith's record last year was 12; she was completely willing to up that number.

* * *

An hour and 14 shots later, they were ready to go party. No one knew how Meredith was still standing; she'd had a sufficient amount of wine and half the bottle of tequila, and at barely 110 pounds she should've been passed out. She was the first one out of the building though and on their way to Saybrook, following the rest of the crowd of people. Addie and Meredith with stumbling along together, with the guys behind them and they couldn't stop giggling. Derek couldn't help but admire how great Meredith looked; she had spent the summer swimming, playing tennis, and laying on the beach or by the pool with his sisters. She was even more fit and toned than ever before and he loved it.

"Der come on!" she giggled, letting go of Addie and sidling up to him as they reached the party. Flashing their school ID's, they stepped into the main downstairs rooms of the College, the music pulsating all around them, Mark went to get them all drinks as Meredith looked around for their friends from last year. Instead she found the Asian girl from class earlier.

"Meredith, hi," she said, her voice oozing sweetness. Meredith made a small face, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Erm, hi Cristina," she said, Derek touching the small of her back. The girl was about her size in both height and weight, but was always looking so intense.

"Your mother is Ellis Grey," Cristina said matter of factly. Despite how drunk she was, it was not lost on her.

"And that's why you want to be my friend isn't it," she said flatly, turning on her heel and storming off to find Addison. She didn't care if people knew who her mother was; she cared if people used that information to try and be friends with her in order to suck up with her mother. However, Addie was apparently dealing with the pair she had met earlier, and Meredith strode over, confident in her 4 inch heels, knocking her hip into Addie's.

"Hi, I'm Meredith Grey," she said, flipping her ponytail and holding her hand out to the girl, who looked like a freaking model. The guy was about Meredith's normal height and looked nervous to be there, and behind the girl was another guy, tall, slightly smoldering good looks, stubble. The three stared at her with fear; apparently that was what she evoked when she was drunk and confident, and Addison snickered. Meredith rolled her eyes.

"You've got to have names, everyone has one," she said, tapping her foot. The tall blonde spoke.

"I'm Izzie, that's George, and this is Alex," she said, raising her chin. "We're all pre-med." Meredith rose a brow. Was Yale just reproducing them like rabbits?

"That's funny, my fiancée, Addison, her boyfriend and I are all pre-med, we live in J.E. College," she said, swaying to the music a bit. It was a wonder she was still standing; Mark and Derek were off somewhere with some friends of theirs.

"Oh? We live in Berkeley along with this new girl named Cristina, she's my roommate, she basically hates me and calls me all sorts of things," Izzie shrugged. Meredith nodded.

"Addison's my roommate and our guys live across the hall. It's kind of a crazy story…" Addison yanked hard on her arm and dragged her away.

"Ouch!" she cried out, looking up at her friend, swaying on her heels.

"I'm just saving you from boringville, even though they're in our program," she said as she rolled her eyes.

"They weren't THAT bad, they just seem…lost. It was sad," she giggled, knowing she was being a total bitch but also knowing she always had her fearless foursome.

For the rest of the night she and Addie danced like crazy, with Mark and Derek joining them with drinks finally. It was nice to be back at school and be in charge of themselves again, even though tonight they weren't exactly being responsible considering they all had early classes the next day.

It was well past 2 am when Meredith leaned against Derek and told him she was tired. She also looked half sick so he swept her up in his arms, telling the other two he was taking her back to her room. Fortunately the distance to J. E. from Saybrook wasn't terrible, and he had her in front of the toilet by the time she started throwing up. He didn't want to leave her there at all, but for two minutes he ran and grabbed a cold bottle of water and something soft for her to lean on while they settled in the bathroom stall. She was tired, drunk, and sick, and he sat there for hours with her as she passed in and out of consciousness, throwing up and then falling asleep on him.

It was almost 6 when Meredith finally was conscious enough to declare that she felt better. He picked her up, carrying her to her room where he helped her change into clean pajamas, brushing her hair out and handing her mouthwash, handing her a cloth for her makeup. After she crawled into bed he crawled in with her, setting the alarm for noon; their first class was at one. The party had been fun but he mentally marked down that her limit of tequila shots was 12, and not 14, and he knew that Meredith would never do it again, despite how much fun she had had.

* * *

So I had to inspire Meredith's number of shots off my own limit which is 12 oops. I'm the same size as her and I don't know how I managed that many but it was hilarious! Hope you guys like more for the fearless foursome and like that I added in more Greys characters!


	19. Long Live

The first few weeks of school passed quickly in a haze of adjusting to new schedules and sleeping patterns. Meredith felt brilliant for not picking 8am's and managing to get Friday's off this semester – it made her pure exhaustion so much better, having 3 day weekends, and she got to spend more time with her friends and Derek. Being able to actually have time to do her huge course load was a blessing in disguise because otherwise she would've been drowning in work. Organic chem and calculus were kicking her ass but she was smart; she was just taking more time on them than others.

Another thing she was taking more time for was partying. She had no idea how she was doing it, but maintaining a solid 4.0 while partying every Thursday and every weekend was actually easy to her. Or maybe she was just that annoying person that everything came easy to – looks, money, grades, the perfect fiancée.

She kept running into the others on campus – Izzie, Cristina, Alex, and George. They were all friends with each other and kept beckoning Meredith to them, but like Addison, she didn't want much to do with them. It wasn't that she didn't like them, they were nice enough people and smart as well. She already had friends. Besides Mark, Addison, and Derek, there were a few girls she was friendly with and she and Addie often invited them over. Arizona and Callie were their age and the four girls always had fun. Mark and Derek had met a guy named Owen who was also in their program, so the girls were glad that they had more than just each other.

It was mid-October and there was a formal, and the party was in one of the ballrooms on campus. Meredith and Addison took any chance to dress up and drink, plus homecoming was a chance to raise money for charity with all of the houses having a booth and their own charity. J.E. College had chosen JDRF and had a kissing booth; every resident had to participate. It wasn't Meredith's ideal task but she was going to be drunk.

Meredith dressed in a black silk halter dress that grazed her thighs, a pair of strappy Jimmy Choo's on her feet. Diamonds dangled from her ears with a diamond bracelet on her wrist, her hair twisted up in a fancy braided twist that she had let Addison have fun with. She was spraying perfume on her wrists when Derek walked into the room, his eyes settling on her. She was turned away from him, searching for a rhinestone comb to tuck in her hair and he stood there, watching her, breathing in the intoxicating scent of her perfume, her tiny body, the way she still was so much shorter than he was even in her skinny stilettos.

After a moment he cleared his throat and she turned, tucking the comb into her braids and she smiled. She didn't know where Addison was, probably down the hall with Callie and Arizona but right now she didn't care.

"You look breathtaking," he told her and she blushed, brushing her dress out. It was tight at the waist and flared out, showing off her bony collarbones and her tiny waist. Her legs were long and pale, her eyes sparkling as she did a little twirl for him. For a girl who was usually so clumsy in her every day life, smacking into people and stumbling up stairs, she was shockingly graceful in a pair of stilettos with a four inch heel.

"You're not so bad yourself," she teased, looking him over in his suit and tie, his hair arranged just so, his piercing blue eyes warm as they gazed at her with nothing but love. She closed the gap between the two of them, standing up on her tip toes to kiss him, still not tall enough even in her heels. He laughed at her, lifting her up a bit, before putting her down. In the next moment, Addison burst into the room with Callie and Arizona, Mark hot on their tails.

"Come on guys, we have to start drinking!" Addison grinned, brandishing a bottle of tequila towards Meredith, who made a face and shook her head. She remembered the night of 14 shots too well.

"Addie oh my god, you know how I feel about tequila," she laughed as she flopped onto one of the little plush stools they now had around their small coffee table in the middle of the room. Derek sat next to her, with Callie and Arizona across from them, Mark and Addison diagonal from him. It was time to play drinking games and get drunk before wandering downstairs to the party.

* * *

An hour later Meredith found herself drunk, the six of them stumbling downstairs in their finery, Meredith's coat flung around her shoulders as she and Addie ran ahead like maniacs. That was the best part about being with your best friends; you could act crazy and no one judged you. Callie and Arizona were still new to their group and they would always be the fearless foursome, but the Addie and Meredith were comfortable with them and the four girls always had fun together. Mark and Derek could only laugh at their crazy, drunk girlfriends, who were so different from their normal studious, smart, composed selves, focused on their pre-med degrees and stressed out from insanely hard classes.

Eventually they arrived at the formal and Addison dragged Meredith to the dance floor, as she helplessly looked back at Derek. She was a sucker for dancing; more specifically she was a sucker for loud dance parties with Addison at 2AM when she had been crying over homework and she needed a stress release, but drunken dancing at formal was acceptable too.

Derek watched his fiancée and one of his best friends as they grabbed hands and threw back their heads, belting out the words to 'Shut Up and Dance'. He knew it would forever be one of her favorites; he heard them scream it from across the hall and it was her general ringtone and alarm tone. Callie and Arizona were gone, most likely to other friends of theirs, and Mark passed Derek a flask filled with scotch.

"I'm going to marry that crazy redhead one day. And then they're going to make us live next door to each other and have kids at the same time and our life will never, ever be the same," Mark snorted and shook his head. Derek choked mid-drink and looked at his best friend, his brother of almost 15 years.

"Did you just make a verbal commitment? Can I record it? How long have you been thinking about marrying Addison?" he asked him. He thought he was the only crazy person thinking about marriage at 19. He watched Addison and Meredith dancing in the crowd, screaming out the words to another song before looking back to Mark.

"I…I don't know. It just sort of happened. You're so happy with Meredith and I love Addie so much. I came here thinking I'd be sleeping around and I met her on the first day and I just. It just happened. I don't believe in all that meant to be stuff that you and Meredith do, I think that she was there, and I was there, and we fell in love," he said with a shrug, taking another swig of the scotch. He and Addison had a lot in common. They were both children of broken homes and broken marriages, both children who had been ignored by their parents their entire lives. Like Meredith, they were shoved aside for more 'important' things, but unlike Meredith and Addison, he had been taken in by the Shepherds. They had bonded and fallen in love. Derek shook his head and clapped him on the shoulder.

"Well I'll be there when you want to propose and you know Meredith will scream," he smirked. He was proud of Mark, who had come far from his manwhore days in high school, where he'd come home every other day with a different girl.

* * *

Meredith was drunk for sure as she stood on the dance floor with Addison. Her feet hurt, her throat hurt, she could barely hear anything, yet she was in her element. Her shoes had long been forgotten under their table. College really was the place that let her know that the universe was not out to get her and push her down at every step. She had friends, she had found her family, and she was getting married in two years.

Her hand hadn't left Addie's as the two girls screamed out lyrics and danced like crazy. She could feel sweat rolling down her face and back, messing with her makeup but she didn't care; she was having fun and she felt alive.

After the fast paced song was over, a slower Taylor Swift song came on and Meredith let out a shriek – it was her and Addie's favorite. Drunkenly, she slid her arms around her best friends neck and giggled, looking up at the tall red-head who was laughing at the two of them.

" _I said remember this moment…"_ Meredith screamed with the rest of the crowd.

" _In the back of my mind…"_ Addison continued, and they screamed the song out with everyone on the dance floor, rocking back and forth. Formal drunk was the best kind of drunk, because Meredith knew she had to be sober enough to not be sloppy. The song got to the chorus and Meredith grinned, squeezing Addison's hands.

" _Long live the walls we crashed through, all the kingdom lights shine just for me and you, I was screaming long live, all the magic we made, and bring on all the pretenders, I'm not afraid, singing long live all the mountains we moved I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you, I was screaming long live that look on your face, and bring on all the pretenders, one day, we will be remembered."_

It was Meredith's favorite and she let go of Addison's hand, twirling around on the dance floor, her eyes closed. She couldn't stop twirling or giggling until finally she hit someone, opening her eyes – it was Derek, smiling down at his very tipsy-drunk fiancée.

"You're adorable when you sing and dance, you know," he smirked, pressing a kiss to her nose. She smiled back, jumping into his arms and wrapping her legs around his waist.

"Oh am I?" she teased, knowing they were in the middle of hundreds of people. She lay her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes.

"Take me home, Der," she whispered. He gently grabbed her shoes from under the table and grabbed their coats, carrying her across campus back to their dorm. Unlocking the door to her room he gently lay her down on the bed; she was sound asleep and only moved to put her head on the pillow. He sighed, not wanting to bother her, and simply stripped down to his boxers, climbing into bed beside her, kissing her forehead

"Goodnight, Mere. I love you."

* * *

 **So I'm blocked again with Dreams on Fire and felt super inspired to write this chapter. No idea where it came from but I like what I wrote!**

 **I changed my major so I'm dance and pre-med and oh my gosh I'm going to die with how many chemistry and biology classes I have to take, HELP! I posted a pic in my profile of me as ballerina Meredith ;)**


	20. Feels Like Home

The semester was rushing by fast; before Meredith realized it, she was sitting for her finals. It had been a hard semester with difficult classes and endless meltdowns, yelling that she couldn't do the work and she was going to leave school and move to Europe. It was worth it, however, when her grades came back and she had maintained a solid 4.0 the entire semester. Addison, Mark, and Derek kept her sane, really, especially for someone who had only chosen medicine to throw it in her mothers face.

Meredith couldn't wait for winter break; she and Derek were going to spend a week in NYC looking at apartments. She came into her trust fund set up by Ellis on her 20th birthday, which was May 15th, so luckily they'd be able to afford something. As she packed up her things, she gazed at the snow falling out her window with a smile. She loved winter; it was her favorite season besides summer, especially last summer. Addison had already said a teary goodbye to her, even if it was just for a few weeks – Meredith wished Addie could come with them to New York all the time but her feuding parents insisted she and Archer return home every break no matter what, despite how divided their family was. She was grateful Ellis was too involved in the hospital to care about her, but at the same time if she actually sat and thought about it, she knew she'd have a breakdown. She was stronger than she gave herself credit for, but neglect for her entire life was a lot to handle. She knew if she ever was forced into therapy, the psychologist would have a field day with her brain.

Finishing up her packing, she slipped her laptop into it's case, which went into her tote bag, finally free of books. She was dressed in a loose sweater and leggings, her feet snuggled into Uggs, her hair draped over her shoulder in a braid. Her face was fresh and free from makeup and she wore no jewelry except her engagement ring, the one thing she never took off except to shower. Every time she looked at it her heart swelled; she knew they were young but she had never been more sure of something in her life.

There was a knock on the door and then Derek came in with a smile.

"You ready to go home?". She nodded, pulling on her coat and scarf and gathering her things as they headed down to the car. In less than an hour they were pulling into the driveway, where there was considerably less snow, and dragging their things inside. No one was home; Carolyn was at work, Amelia was at school, and the other sisters hadn't arrived at home yet. Nancy was only coming for Christmas Eve and Christmas day, but Lizzie and Kathleen were traveling from Harvard and UPenn.

They were lucky to have gotten home around noon so they could nap before any craziness started happening, and Meredith's eyes fell shut once her head hit the pillow. A few hours later she was woken up by a pounding at the door and she rolled over, making a face at Derek.

"Derek! Meredith!" said the voice, and Meredith knew they couldn't go back to sleep; it was Amelia and Meredith knew she was excited to see the two of them. Climbing out of bed, dressed in yoga pants and a Yale shirt, pulling on a pair of socks, she slipped out of the room to meet her in the hall, throwing her arms around the girl.

"I've missed you!" she grinned, holding the youngest Shepherd close. They had gone to the Montgomery's for an awkward but fun Thanksgiving, so she hadn't seen Amelia since the summer.

"I missed you too! Mark's downstairs and he said you and Derek were asleep but I really really wanted to see you!" she teenager grinned, before taking Meredith's hand and dragging her into her room. She couldn't possibly wonder why Amelia wanted her in her room until she shut the door behind them and a bunch of magazines were shoved into her arms, the light flicked on overhead.

"Amy, what the hell….ohhhh…" she said as she looked down upon a stack of bridal magazines that were in her arms and she started giggling. It had been such a hectic semester and the wedding wasn't even until 2019 that she hadn't even thought of starting to plan or even think about the wedding.

"Have you been hoarding wedding magazines?" she giggled. There was a sizeable stack in her arms, and she sat down on Amelia's bed, paging through one. She hadn't ever thought of herself as a wedding-type person, she hadn't even thought about their wedding since it was so far off, but paging through the magazines and seeing the gorgeous gowns…oh god, her brain was changing and she knew when she started planning this wedding it was going to be a nightmare because what she grew up thinking she wanted was changing as she looked through the magazines.

"Just a little...I've been lonely because Mom's been working more and high school is boring so when I'm finished with my homework I've been looking at wedding stuff," Amelia shrugged. Meredith felt for the girl; she had always come home to an empty house after school, done her homework, and been generally bored to tears for the remainder of the day.

"Well now you have me, Der, and Mark home for a few weeks," she smiled, setting the magazines down and hugging her close. Amelia smiled and hugged her back; the two were fond of each other and Meredith loved having a little sister who looked up to her. She just had to make sure to be the person that Amelia needed in her life.

* * *

Meredith retreated to Derek's room, sitting on the floor and quietly unpacking some of her things, sitting for awhile before she heard him stirring behind her.

"Hey," she smiled, twisting around as he sat up. He leaned on his elbow, mirroring her smile.

"Hey gorgeous. What have you been up to this whole time?"

"Oh you know, just spending time with Amelia. Your mom and sisters aren't home yet and I think Mark took over the PS4," she giggled, hugging her knees to her chest. The snow had died down outside and darkness had fallen, but the house was warm and cozy.

"I don't know about you but I'm starving. And I'm the only one that can cook," he smirked, getting out of the bed and reaching for her. She took his hand and stood up, giving him a small kiss before they headed downstairs to figure out what to do for dinner. Amelia trailed after them and Mark joined them as they gazed into the fridge for what to make.

"Ummmm I'm at a loss, and I'm fourteen," Amelia said, peacing out with her ipad to the family room. Mark, Derek, and Meredith all looked at each other with wide eyes, shrugging their shoulders.

"Anyone know how to make mac and cheese?" Meredith asked, biting her lip. "I can't boil water, so I'm out," she smirked, twirling on her heel and going after Amelia. Now it was up to the boys to make dinner for six people. She settled on the couch with the tv remote, flicking through the channels until she found Love, Actually on HBO, getting into it with Amelia.

"This is literally my favorite holiday movie," she grinned, playing with the ends of her hair. "It's so romantic and it's just perfection," she smiled, laying her head on Amelia's shoulder as the pair watched, not quite sure what the boys were up to in the kitchen.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Derek had set a pot of elbow macaroni to boil on the stove while Mark looked on.

"Don't look at it, it won't boil," Derek said, pushing him aside and at the table. In another bowl he made the cheese up, until the pasta was boiled and he combined it all in a pan, sprinkling bread crumbs on top and popping it in the oven.

"Did I miss you learning how to cook? So manly," Mark teased, shaking his head.

"Hey, when you have four sisters you tend to know things like this," he smirked, sitting down at the table across from his best friend. After awhile the kitchen started to smell heavenly and he kicked Mark under the table.

"See? I can cook. One skill Meredith will enjoy in our apartment when we move in," he grinned, crossing his arms and leaning back. After a moment there was a commotion at the door and Lizzie and Kathleen stumbled into the house, hauling their bags into the house, red cheeked and excited to see everyone. Meredith and Amelia ran from the family room to see them, both girls thrilled as they threw their arms around them,

"Lizzie!" Meredith shrieked, throwing her arms around the tall brunette. Both girls laughed; Lizzie was secretly Meredith's favorite but she would never let that slip.

"Oh my gosh I've missed you like crazy! I know we talk all the time but I wish we got to see each other, you and Der should come visit me at Harvard! Med school is nuts but I love it," she grinned, looking down at her brother's fiancée. Meredith could only beam at her.

"I want to visit! It's on my short list of med schools to look at but I have a secret favorite that I won't let anyone know until I see if I get in," she said smugly. She was only a sophomore but had a mile long list of med schools she was looking at. Only the best for the daughter of Ellis Grey.

"Oh, and I'm only going to a school if Derek gets in too," she smiled, as Lizzie and Kathleen took off their coats and the four girls headed into the kitchen, where the aroma of dinner awaited them. Derek was just putting the pan on the table, which was set with six plates and forks, as they all entered.

"Hey Liz, Kath, welcome home," he grinned, Mark standing up to greet them. They all piled around the table and dug into Derek's amazing mac and cheese, which was definitely nothing to scoff at. Soon they were all making jokes and laughing, and no one noticed the front door opening again. Soon Carolyn was standing in the doorway, watching all her children eating and spending time together, before she cleared her throat.

"Mom!" Derek said, jumping out of his seat, before the other five followed, all of them engulfing her. Meredith couldn't stop laughing; she didn't know how she had become a part of this but she never wanted it to stop. She knew she was home.

* * *

 **So I whipped up another chapter, a short one, I hope you like it! Next chapter will be apartment hunting and another Christmas with the Shepherds! I'm glad I updated all of my stories in two days! Now to do it all over again ;)**


	21. Keep Me In Your Pocket

Christmas in NYC was always magical, and as Derek and Meredith stepped off the train at Grand Central Station she could almost smell the tree at Rockefeller Center. Snowflakes dotted the air as she breathed in the sharp, cold air. Their hotel was close by, luckily, and they climbed into a cab rather than drag their things several blocks. It was morning still and they had an appointment with a real estate agent later that day. Meredith was excited; it was their first step towards breaking free of their familial homes, or at least in Derek's case. Meredith was completely moved out of her mother's house and would only return to Boston if she absolutely had to, or if her mother requested her presence. She lived with the Shepherds now, basically.

After arriving at the hotel and checking in early, Meredith collapsed on the king-sized bed, still in her coat and boots, a huge smile on her face. Five whole days in the city, looking for their future home no less. Derek took off his coat and draped in over a chair, before turning around and smirking at her.

"Mere, you're going to have to get up from the bed sometime," he teased her, and finally she sat up, unzipping her long coat and pulling it off. She was dressed in leggings and a chunky sweater, her hair pulled on top of her head in a messy bun, her feet in Uggs. She knew she had to pull herself together for looking at apartments in a few hours but for now she was enjoying being comfortable.

"Haven't you ever just enjoyed being young and free in one of the biggest cities in the world?" She pondered, before getting up and moving to the window of their room, which overlooked Central Park. Snow was still falling and she smiled happily; it wasn't that they didn't see enough snow in New Haven, it was more like they didn't get enough time to enjoy it.

Turning away from the window, she pressed her hands together with a smile, before heading over to her suitcase and opening it up. She needed to find something decent and warm to wear for apartment hunting. Digging through her things she pulled out her favorite pair of jeans and a decent sweater, changing out of her comfy clothes and slipping back into her Uggs. Looking in the mirror, she pulled her hair out of it's mess of a bun, running a brush through it and making a face, before looking at Derek.

"Well. I can blame this on the snow" she smirked, braiding a small portion of the front and pinning it behind her left ear so it looked more presentable. Derek had meanwhile picked up her phone and was looking through her email, trying to find the one with links to the apartments they were going to look at and what time they were meeting the agent downstairs.

"Meredith," he said, his brow furrowed. She looked up from the mirror where she was carefully applying makeup.

"Hmm? Is something wrong?" she asked, not wanting to smear eyeliner across her face.

"All of the apartments are to buy, not rent. And they're millions of dollars. We're 19, we can't afford this," he said, tossing her phone on the bed and looking at her. She sighed and set down her makeup, turning to face him.

"Yes we can," she said in a small voice, looking down at her lap before looking up at him, making a face.

"My mother might be the wicked witch of the west but…she's a very generous wicked witch of the west," she attempted to explain, slumping her shoulders. She knew this wasn't a bad thing in the least but she always hated skirting around the fact that her mother was tremendously wealthy and head of the entire surgical unit at a massive hospital. Derek raised an eyebrow at her, watching her twist her engagement ring around her finger.

"Well. Despite the fact that I'm a massive disappointment and a huge inconvenience and I basically wasn't supposed to be born, mother dearest still decided to place a large sum of money in a trust fund that I come into when I either marry or turn 20. Seeing as how I turn 20 in May…if we don't move in until June it's entirely possible," she said, looking up at him brightly. She was surprised to find him smirking.

"You, Mark, and Addie are all cut from the same cloth. The difference between you three and the rest of the world is that you aren't arrogant about it," he said, reaching for her hands and pulling her up, drawing her into a deep kiss.

"Just how much money are we talking?" he teased her, and she immediately blushed, reaching for her phone and typing out a number, before handing her phone to him. He looked down at the number and back at Meredith, his eyes wide.

"Jesus Christ Meredith, when were you planning on telling me that you have more than a small fortune?" he asked her and she bit her lip, crossing her arms. She shrugged slightly.

"Because it's not important to me. It's important to my mother but not to me. You've been to my house, you've met her and her never ending opulence and the way she spares no expense and showers me with money to make up for her lack of love and I decided that that sort of life wasn't for me. What's important to me are my family and friends, the money is just…there. Sure it makes things easier but it's not important," she shrugged again, looking up at him. He smiled and pulled her into a hug, kissing her forehead.

"I'm wondering how I got so lucky with you," he murmured into her hair, slowly letting his fingers run through the loose strands.

* * *

A few hours later, Meredith and Derek found themselves running around NYC with the real estate agent. They had looked at a few apartments and even a few townhouses, loving most of them but they needed to decide on one. After going back and forth with each other and the agent, they finally decided on one they loved. It was right on Central Park West, facing the park, with amazing views of the park and the city. It had three bedrooms and four bathrooms, and was absolutely stunning. They were the only people who were interested in it so it was theirs, and they were both pleased with themselves. Before parting ways with the realtor, she told them that within a few days she would contact Meredith and they'd have to put a down payment – Meredith assured the woman it was no problem, and as she and Derek turned the other way, Mere couldn't wipe the smile from her face.

"So we just bought our first place together!" She squealed, sneaking a kiss from him on the busy sidewalk. He was euphoric, holding her close as snow swirled around them, tugging her down the sidewalk with a smile.

"Does this make us adults now?" he laughed with a small shake of his head. She couldn't help but laugh with him; they were 19 and buying a huge, gorgeous apartment, but at the same time they were also getting married and needed a place of their own.

"Oh but look, it has enough bedrooms that we can designate one for Mark," she giggled, knowing full well he'd pout if they didn't give him a room or let him crash there when he wasn't in Greenwich with Addie. He rolled his eyes, slipping into a coffee shop with her and jumping in line.

"Should we put a sign on the door that has his name surrounded by glitter?" she smirked, tucking her gloves into the pockets of her coat as she leaned into him. He threw his head back in laughter and pulled her even closer, chasing her down for a kiss.

"I think that's my favorite suggestion yet," he grinned as she scrunched her nose up with laughter, lost in their own little world.

* * *

They had four more days in the city and they filled them to the brim, finding things to do everywhere. Meredith found a small, cozy bookstore near their new apartment that quickly became one of her new favorite places in the city, and one day when Derek snuck away to do last minute Christmas shopping, she turned and bolted towards Bloomingdales, slipping up to the bridal section. More and more, she was starting to plan things in her head, visualizing the way she wanted everything to be. She'd recently taken to carrying a notebook in her bag, jotting down notes – but she hadn't shared it with anyone yet, not even Addie or Amelia.

Walking through the department, her fingers trailed along the delicate silks and tulles with a small sigh. She still couldn't visualize the gown she wanted, but she knew she didn't want the small backyard wedding she thought she had wanted at first. She wanted it on a grander scale, with roses and a beautiful gown, probably in a church because Derek was Catholic, with a beautiful reception. Her mother would have to be there of course, and a lot of people from the hospital, and probably people her mother knew from Seattle – and Thatcher – and Meredith had to figure out who was giving her away, but slowly things were coming together and she was pleased with herself. Closing her eyes for a moment, she tore herself away from the gowns, making a mental note to make an appointment for when they were on spring break.

Make that several appointments at several bridal shops. Meredith suddenly had wedding fever.

* * *

Meeting back up with Derek, she was all smiles as she grasped his hand on the way back to the hotel. They had to grab their bags and head to the train back to Westchester and get ready for Christmas Eve tomorrow. Meredith had finished shopping for the family already, but Derek had grabbed something extra for Amelia.

"You have everything?" she asked, greeting him with a kiss as they walked hand in hand up Lexington Avenue towards their hotel.

"Yeah," he smiled, holding up the bag and she smiled, letting her head rest on his shoulder. The last five days had been busy and despite loving the city and being excited about their apartment and moving there, she wanted to go back to the Shepherds and sleep forever.

"I love you," she smiled, closing her eyes for a moment and letting the past five days soak in. Buying an apartment, starting to plan their wedding, looking at wedding gowns. All huge steps towards their future. Her hand squeezed his tightly as they reached the hotel lobby.

"I love you too," he smiled, turning her and kissing her deeply, not caring who was watching, just wanting them all to know that he loved the girl he was with.

* * *

 **So lots of big things happening! And Meredith has started to plan the wedding! I have some ideas for it, especially where Ellis is concerned ;) I'm trying to figure out where to introduce Maggie and Lexie though? I might have them BOTH be freshman when Meredith is a junior, which will be crazy but funny! Thoughts?**


	22. No Time To Think

Christmas with the Shepherd's was just like last year. All of the sisters came home one by one, except this time there was a new one: Nancy and her husband had a three month old baby girl named Abigail. From the moment the family of three walked in the door, Meredith couldn't take her eyes off the sweet baby, who was the most adorable thing she had ever seen.

All at once it hit her that Abigail was her niece – she was part of an actual family, with brothers and sisters and nieces. Kathleen was engaged; her wedding was next summer, and then Meredith and Derek's wedding was the summer after that. Her life just kept getting better and better, she realized, and she couldn't stop the smile that was spreading across her face as she stood in the kitchen with Amelia, watching everyone rush around the house around her.

Christmas Eve was always a busy time for the Shepherds; they threw a party for friends and family, and went to midnight mass. Meredith took her time getting ready for the party; she could hear the hum of guests below but she and Lizzie spent time getting ready in the bathroom that joined her and Derek's rooms together. Meredith was curling her hair, dressed in a cream colored tulle dress, the top half covered in cream colored sequins with cream straps. It fell to her mid-thigh where she wore black tights, her black heels discarded by the end of Derek's bed. Lizzie's boyfriend was downstairs with Mark, Derek, Nancy's husband, and Kathleen's fiancée.

The two girls leaned over the dual sinks, doing their hair and makeup, Lizzie towering over the petite Meredith as Meredith finished up curling her hair, letting the curls cascade down her back. She carefully did her makeup, before applying her favorite red lipstick. Spraying on her perfume she pivoted, turning to Lizzie with a smile.

"How do I look?" she smiled, and Lizzie's eyes widened.

"Goddamn Meredith, no wonder my brother fell for you in thirty seconds," she teased, straightening the tulle skirt of her dress before Mere headed into the bedroom, slipping into her heels, and heading downstairs.

The house was crowded and filled with people, and she had no idea where Derek was in this mess, but she received several glances from people before one of Carolyn's friends stopped her.

"Oh, you must be Meredith, Derek's fiancée. I recognize you from your engagement photo!" Meredith simply nodded, flashing a smile. Over fall break they'd done an engagement shoot that had run in the local paper and even the New York Times. "You're even prettier in person, Derek is lucky to have you." Meredith continued to nervously smile, not really knowing what to say. Luckily, Derek came up behind her and took her hand, and took over the conversation for her. After a few minutes he gently led her away with a smile.

"You're welcome," he teased her, tugging on one of her curls as they walked through the house towards the dining room where the alcohol was. Her heels clacked on the floor and he smiled; it reminded him of the pair of them at school, running down pathways to get to class or to a party with Mark and Addie.

"Here," he grinned, handing her an enormous glass of Reisling and she laughed, shaking her head a bit. Even though she was already an adult, she was still under legal drinking age and she relished every chance to got to join in the actual adults. Taking a sip of her wine she smiled, reaching up and giving him a kiss.

"Merry Christmas, Der," she grinned, her eyes sparkling in the candlelight, from the hundreds of candles that were lit around the downstairs of the house.

"Merry Christmas, Mer," he grinned, slipping an arm around her waist as he led her back to the living room and the throngs of family and friends who were there. Most of them she knew from last Christmas, but there were some more family members, and more of his mothers friends around this year, waiting to meet her only sons fiancée.

* * *

Once the food had been set out and everyone had helped themselves, Meredith found herself in a corner of the family room with Kate, and Lizzie, the four of them discussing school. Kate was about to get her PHD, while Lizzie was at Harvard, halfway through her medical degree. The three girls talked for hours and hours, not even noticing when family and friends had trickled out and it was just the Shepherds. Meredith had by now finished her wine and felt pretty great just as Derek poked his head into the room to find the three girls.

"Come on ladies, church time," he smirked, and Meredith stood up, a bit wobbly. Kate laughed and grabbed her hand, leading her to the front hall to grab her coat and scarf. Once in her coat, she was a giggly mess as she climbed into the front seat of Derek's car, not even the searing cold sobering her up.

Midnight mass flew by quickly, Meredith having learned the motions of Catholicism by now, and soon enough they were back home, exhausted and falling into bed, Meredith not even bothering to take her makeup off for a change.

* * *

They were all woken up Christmas morning by an excited Amelia, as usual, and Meredith ended up washing her face before stumbling downstairs in yoga pants and her usual, almost threadbare Yale shirt that she wore every night. She had resolved to wear it until she got into med school, and wear a shirt from there for the rest of her life. Goals, really. The family gathered around the tree, Meredith in Derek's lap, baby Abigail snuggled in a rock and play by the fire, as presents were passed around. Meredith much preferred this type of Christmas as opposed to the Christmases she'd had growing up, with her mother absent and sitting in the living room with her nanny and the staff of the house, miserable and alone.

Derek went last, handing her a familiar Tiffany's box, tied with a red ribbon for Christmas and she blushed. Tugging gently on the ribbon, she lifted the lid of the box and opened up the pouch. Out slid a bracelet, a thin silver chain with a delicate olive leaf vine on it, adorned with diamonds. She fingered it with wonderment before looking up with a wide smile, leaning over and giving him a tender kiss.

"It's absolutely gorgeous," she smiled happily, cuddling closer to him as he fastened it around her wrist. As soon as presents were over the family dispersed, making themselves more presentable for brunch. Meredith slipped into leggings and a sweater, French braiding her hair before coming downstairs and helping set the table with Nancy, Abigail still sleeping soundly in the rocker.

"She's so precious," Meredith stated, looking up at Nancy with a smile, before casting her eyes downward with a small sigh. "I want one," she said in a quiet voice, before blushing deeply.

"Oh god don't tell anyone I said that, Derek would flip and I'm way too young," she grimaced. Nancy was ten years older than she was, at 29 years old. She was a resident in OB/GYN and a surgeon, while Meredith was undergrad, engaged, and not getting married for another year and a half. Nancy laughed as she placed her last fork down on the table, tucking her short hair behind her ears.

"Hey, everyone gets baby fever, it's normal. But for now you have a fun little niece to play with when we're all home," she said, smiling at Meredith and catching her in a hug. Meredith couldn't help but laugh and shake her head.

"She is so much fun, and so precious," she had to admit, heading into the kitchen and coming back with food, the two women working together to get the table set. Soon enough it was ready and they were calling the family to the table.

* * *

Brunch went well, and a couple hours later they had dinner. Everyone was sated and for the rest of the day they fooled around with Christmas gifts; Mark and Derek playing with the PS4 that they always hauled back from school, while the girls sat around chatting and Meredith, queen of all braids, braided Amelia's hair a thousand different ways. Snow gently fell outside and everyone was content to hang out in the family room. Every time Abigail woke up, Meredith insisted on taking care of her, and Derek couldn't help but watch at the tender way she cared for the baby, the way she spoke to her in a soft voice, her eyes lighting up and the smile on her face. He knew it was years off, but he couldn't wait to watch her with their kids.

* * *

Winter break didn't last long, and soon enough they were packing up Derek's car, and Mark, Meredith, and Derek were driving the hour back to New Haven, reuniting with Addison, who had spent break in Greece and had somehow tanned instead of burnt. The four of them spent the first night back drinking and exchanging stories and presents, laughing like crazy over things. Long after the boys had gone to bed and the girls were up watching old 80's movies, there was a knock on the door.

"I'll get it," Meredith said, sliding off Addie's bed and putting her ice cream aside, padding to the door and opening it up.

"Hi!" she said; there was a brunette girl in front of her, her hair to her chin, clad in pajamas and looking somewhat nervous.

"I, um, I just transferred here, this is my first night here, and I don't know anyone else here and everyone else on the floor said you guys sort of rule the floor so I just figured I'd knock and say hi, I'm sorry if I disturbed you, I feel really awkward," she said, looking down at the floor and at her socks.

Meredith laughed and shook her head a bit.

"No, we were just watching movies and eating ice cream, we just got back here tonight. I'm Meredith and that's Addison," she smiled warmly, shrugging her shoulders. "We're pre-med but don't let that fool you, we like to party, we're sophomores, our boyfriends live across the hall" she said, smiling more. The girl perked up a bit.

"Oh! I'm pre-med too, I transferred from Harvard, I'm a freshman, I don't know, I liked it but we'll see if I like it here more. I'm Alexandra but everyone calls me Lexie. Lexie Grey," she said with a smile, and Meredith's face instantly fell.

* * *

 **Ta-da! I managed to introduce Lexie now, before introducing Maggie, that way Maggie and Lexie will have a year or more between them (since Maggie is a prodigy and such although so is Lexie, it'll work out haha). Hope you liked it! Please read and review!**


	23. Big Bang Two

Meredith stood staring at the door, blinking at the girl – Lexie – standing there.

"I'm sorry, did you say your last name was Grey? My last name is Grey," she said, her voice wavering somewhat. The girl ducked her head, nodding somewhat.

"Really? That's kind of cool. I'm not from the east coast, I'm from Seattle, and I wanted to come here for school because the Ivies are the best. I came to Yale from Harvard because my best friend goes here and I had no one at Harvard so. I transferred," she said, shrugging her shoulders. Meredith thought she was going to be sick.

"I was born in Seattle," she said, straightening up a bit, feeling like something was off. "I lived there until I was five and then my mom and I moved to Boston. My parents divorced before then, though, I haven't seen my dad since I was a toddler." Lexie's eyes were wide.

"My dad was married before he married my mom. He…he had a daughter, he said he didn't know where she was," Lexie said in a quiet voice, and Meredith wrinkled her nose.

"Yeah, that's because my mother is a cold hearted bitch," she replied. She didn't know whether to slam the door in Lexie's face or invite her in, so the two girls continued to stand there, eyeing each other.

"Your mother is the great Ellis Grey," Lexie stated, looking at Meredith, studying her features. She looked more like their dad than the press photos she had seen of a red-haired Ellis.

"She's not exactly great," Meredith exhaled with a roll of her eyes, looking at the other girl. She didn't look at all like she remembered Thatcher, concluding that she must look like her…. stepmother. She had a stepmother somewhere in Seattle.

"I guess that makes you my sister," Meredith said stiffly, not sure how to react. In all of life's situations, she had never quite imagined this at all. In her head, she had sisters. Four loud, noisy, almost black haired sisters, and a redheaded sister sitting on the bed in the room behind her.

"I, um, I guess it does," Lexie said sheepishly, blushing deeply. To her Meredith seemed so much older, so much more mature, much more confident in the world around her and at Yale. The two girls regarded each other another; Meredith was taller, more polished, she seemed much more worldly, and there was an engagement ring sparkling on her left hand, even though she barely seemed older than eighteen. Lexie felt dull and mousey in front of her, biting her lip and rocking back on her heels.

"I, uh, I'm sorry for bothering you, and accidentally stumbling into your life," she quickly apologized, backing away slightly. "I guess I'll see you around," she shrugged, turning and fleeing down the hall to her room. Meredith, to her credit, poked her head out of the doorway and watched her run; she had the same room as she and Addie did, just at the other end of the hallway.

"Who the hell was that?" Addison called, before Meredith stepped back inside, shutting the door

"My little sister," she said, somewhat weirded out by the entire situation.

"I have a little sister. Her name is Lexie, and she lives down the hall," she said, climbing onto her bed and turning to Addison with a weird look on her face. "Seriously? Like. Seriously?"

* * *

The next morning, Addie and Meredith didn't wait for the boys before heading down to breakfast. She spotted Lexie with a pretty, perky blonde at another table and Meredith rolled her eyes, flopping down into a chair at the usual claimed table, nodding towards her.

"The little one, with the short brown hair in the black sweater, looking all doe-eyed and amazed by everything. Is that how we looked when we started here?" she asked, wrinkling her nose as she bit into a piece of bacon. Mark and Derek sat down across from him, Derek catching the face Meredith was making.

"What's wrong with Meredith?" he asked Addison, and she heaved a sigh.

"Meredith found out she has a sister. Who lives down the hall from us." Meredith turned to glare at Addison. If only looks could kill. Derek raised a brow and took a bite of some eggs.

"And were you going to share this with the rest of us?" he asked, as Meredith sighed.

"Yes, I'm just not sure how to deal with it myself," she insisted, before pushing away her plate and grabbing her things, shrugging into her coat on the way out of the building. She knew that new Meredith wouldn't do this, new Meredith would stay and talk about things with her friends, but right now she wanted to be old Meredith. Old Meredith ran away from things, she hid from things that terrified her, and finding out that she had a little sister that lived down the hallway from her dorm room scared the crap out of her. Part of her wanted to drive to Boston and confront her mother; another part of her wanted to call her dad. She hadn't talked to him since she was little, but she just didn't know what to do.

Walking down one of the icy, snow-blown paths of campus against a freezing cold wind, she tucked her face into her scarf, her hands in her pockets. For almost two years now she had felt invincible, like nothing could bring down her happiness, and in one fell swoop she had done a complete 180.

She didn't really know where she was walking; she just knew she needed to distance herself from the dorm, even if it meant being outside. Eventually she sank down onto a bench, pulling her knees to her chest and letting her forehead rest on her knees. Fuck this. Fuck everything.

She wasn't sure how long she was sitting there, but after a bit she felt someone sitting next to her, felt his or her arms wrapping around her and pulling her close. Her eyes closed as she sank into his chest and she took a deep breath, the tears finally flowing freely down her cheeks. It had been a learned behavior, to not cry when something upset her, to not cry when something in life wasn't fair, to not cry when something her parents did affected her seriously, but after 19 years she was tired of it.

She let Derek hold her as she let it out, far away from Addison and Mark. Her private pain, the reason why she reinvented herself and acted tough as nails, acting like her mother's words didn't dig deep into her very soul and killed her every time. Her walls fell down with every tear shed, Derek's arms pulling her ever closer the more she cried. He knew some of her pain, having met her mother, but he knew he couldn't understand 19 years of neglect and abuse.

"I just want to run away," she finally mumbled into his coat, and he lifted her chin, looking at her red, wet face.

"Where do you want to run away to?" he asked her, and she bit her lip, wrinkling her nose.

"I don't…I don't know," she sobbed, burying her face back in Derek's chest as he held her close once again. It was one thing, knowing she had a father out there, but it was entirely different, knowing that her father had a family as well and she had been on her own, stumbling through life and learning the hard way that her mother was never going to be there.

Finally, Derek heaved a sigh.

"Mere, if we stay out here any longer we're going to die of exposure. Let's go back to your room and figure something out," he said, gently setting on her feet and grabbing her hand, leading her through the twisting paths and up the stairs to her room. He lifted her onto her bed where she sat in her coat, somewhat in a daze. Thankfully it was a Saturday, and she had two days to recover and figure out what she was going to do before classes resumed on Monday.

Finally she pulled off her coat and scarf, sitting on the bed in her jeans and sweater, kicking off her boots.

"It's like. I carved out my happy life here with you, Mark, and Addie. I have your family and the rest of my friends. And then bam, this happy, perky girl comes knocking at my door and she's my sister. She grew up with my dad and presumably a normal family life and it's like a punch in the gut. She had everything I didn't. He was there for her her entire life, and he was there for me for what, two years? That's crap," she said, shaking her head furiously.

"It's not fair Derek. But then, when has anything in my life ever been fair?" she asked him with wide eyes. This was a side of her he had never seen before in almost two years of dating, but he wasn't a fool. He had gone home with her to Boston; he had met her mother and experienced how cruel she was. It wasn't like he had been waiting for Meredith to snap under the pressure of her mother, but more like he knew Meredith waked on eggshells whenever the topic of her parents came up.

"What do you want to do about it?" he asked her, sitting down on the bed beside her and warming her stiff hands up. She stared blankly into the void and sighed a bit.

"Is there anything I can do except ignore her?" she asked him, turning to face him. She looked worn out and defeated, something he never expected her to look like. The tears had dried leaving a mess in the wake. He shook his head sadly.

"No, I suppose not," he said, pulling her closer to him again. They stayed that way for awhile, before he noticed she had fallen asleep. He gently laid her down on her bed, tucking her under the covers and just letting her sleep for now, staying with her. He had nowhere else to be but right there with his fiancée.

* * *

The next day Meredith woke up, feeling more resilient, more ready to take on the world and handle the situation at hand. Addison and Mark didn't really know what was going on with her; they knew she had a 'thing' but it was being kept private between her and Derek. She took a chance with heading down to the dining hall late for what they called brunch; they kept breakfast going until 2, hopefully avoiding Lexie.

She had no such luck. As she and Derek strolled over to their table, she watched Lexie stand up and walk over to them, as Meredith turned her head, studying her plate, her appetite suddenly gone. Lexie reached their table with a bright smile, and Derek, ever polite, said hi to her, while Meredith kicked him under the table.

"Hi Meredith! I was hoping maybe you could show me around campus or something, or we could just hang out, because I'm kind of excited that I have a big sister and I really want to get to know you," she said excitedly. Derek sucked in a breath, bracing himself for the icy chill he could feel emanating from Meredith. Meredith looked up, her face stone cold, her green eyes flashing.

"Lexie, I'm sure you're really nice and fun, and maybe if circumstances were different this would work. But I didn't ask for a sister. I didn't ask for you to show up at my school where I have a great group of friends and a whole lot of respect from other people. And I didn't ask for a sister who comes along with a perfect family, including a dad we share, but in your perfect world, he's been there for you your entire life. That means birthdays, and Christmases, and dance recitals, and graduations. So why don't you shoo back on over to your friend, and stay on your end of the hallway, because at the moment it's really difficult living, knowing that you even exist," she said, pushing back her chair and taking her tray with all of her untouched food, dumping it into a trash can and storming back upstairs.

Astonished, Derek quickly apologized to Lexie, before running after her.

"Mere!" he said with wide eyes, as she stormed into her dorm room and sat on the bed.

"What?" she asked him, pushing up the sleeves of her sweater, crossing her legs. He knew she was going through severe abandonment issues right now and he just sighed, sitting down next to her and pulling her close.

"I'm sorry, Mere. You don't deserve this. I know she didn't show up here expecting to run into you either, but you've had a hard enough life as it is with your mother," he said, running his finger through her hair. She was quiet; her head on his shoulder as they sat in silence, tears silently running down her cheeks. She hated her mother, she hated her father, and she hated her sister. She hated everyone for ruining her life; she had been a child caught between parents, a child who was unwanted, who knew she was unwanted, who was constantly told just how unwanted she was.

"I just don't know what to do. Because now I have to live with it," she said softly, rubbing at her eyes. "I didn't know she's existed, and now she's a girl I don't want to have to know," she stated with a sigh of resignation. There was nothing in the world she could do; the damage was done. She had a sister, a stepmother; her father was still out there, and that was simply that.

* * *

 **This chapter went from 0 to 100 REALLY fast, wow! Meredith was so bitchy and harsh to Lexie, but she's feeling so many things, she feels unloved and abandoned by Thatcher, plus she grew up knowing that she was unwanted by Ellis, and it's all sort of weighing on her since Lexie showed up and just BAM it all came pouring out and started affecting her. Please bear with me as she figures her life out! Hope you guys like this one!**


	24. My City Of Ruins

Meredith continued to be detached for weeks, floating through life like she didn't care. Addie and Derek switched rooms; it was bound to happen at some point anyway, but now Derek needed to be there for Meredith. She continued to get straight A's and maintain her 4.0 GPA, even with little to no studying, but she was just a zombie. Every night she curled up with Derek, crying herself to sleep in his arms as he held her close, wracking his brain for something that he could do to help her, something he could do to relieve the hell she was currently living. She talked, or more like rambled, about the things that went through her head, and he knew that she was living in pure hell right now, despite his attempts to pull her out of it.

He had known from the start that she had abandonment issues, but knew she had always brushed them off because she had learned to live with them. Lexie popping up had made the dam break, however, as everything came circle and she came to realize everything she didn't have that Lexie did. She had acted so much like she didn't care, but seeing Lexie with a family, with her dad who had abandoned her, had broken her.

One early March morning, as Meredith was getting dressed after her shower, she pulled a black cashmere sweater over her head, buttoning her jeans and braiding her hair. Today she felt more clear, her headspace was cleaner than it had been as she slipped her feet into Uggs. Packing her books and laptop into her messenger bag, she turned around to Derek as she bit her lip.

"I want to go to Seattle for spring break," she said softly, casting her eyes downward. Derek sucked in a breath but nodded; he had been waiting for this. Seattle wasn't just going to be a fun, touristy spring break; it was going to be Meredith confronting her demons in the form of her father. He closed the gap between them and wrapped his arms around her tiny frame.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked her, holding her close. She fought back tears, both for her sanity and not wanting to mess up the carefully applied makeup she'd just finished.

"I have to, Der, if I want to stay alive, if I want to get out of this stupid funk. I can't go on living like this," she mumbled, before breaking away and grabbing her coat and scarf. He did the same, taking her hand and following her out the door and on the way to class.

* * *

Spring break started at the end of the week, and Meredith and Derek found themselves saying goodbye to Addison and Mark; Mere saw Lexie lurking at the end of the hallway out of the corner of her eye. She ignored the lurking, instead focusing on her friends, before she and Derek climbed into his car and headed for JFK. She couldn't deny that she was nervous for this trip; she hadn't been to Seattle since she was no more than 3 or 4, and she hadn't seen her dad since then either. As they boarded the plane and took their seats, she breathed a heavy sigh, looking out the window. New York and the east coast soon faded away as Meredith closed her eyes. She had intended on doing schoolwork on the flight but she was too tense and nervous to do anything but put her ear buds and float away.

Eight hours and a plane change later, they were landing in Seattle and Meredith was more on edge than she had been in the past few weeks. Walking through the airport, she gripped Derek's hand as they headed to get their suitcases and pick up the rental car. She didn't remember much of the city, but what she did remember was the rain, and true to her memory it was raining. Everything around them was green and wet and she smiled slightly as they took the shuttle to the car rental place. Finally they had the rental car and they managed to get to the hotel, checking in and settling into their room. Meredith sighed and laid down on the bed; she couldn't believe she was back in Seattle after more than 16 years.

After a short nap, the two of them woke up, feeling somewhat refreshed after the long flight. Meredith wasn't sure what she wanted to do – did she feel like confronting her father today, or did she want to wait for tomorrow?

"I want to go today," she said in a small voice. She wanted to get it over and done with. She had his address from years ago and had cross checked it on the internet; the two had matched up. Taking a deep breath, she changed into clean clothes; a different pair of jeans and a black v-neck sweater, slipping into black ankle boots and doing a small side braid, she put on a touch of makeup, looking at her reflection with a sigh.

"Come on," she finally said, pulling on her wool coat and grabbing her bag and her phone. She didn't want to do this but she knew she had to, it was something she had to do to get over this hurdle in her life, this dark and twisty path that she had fallen down once again. Heading downstairs, they found the car in the hotel parking garage, and followed the directions on the GPS. After a bit, they pulled up to a modest house, not far from the house Meredith grew up in – which she knew her mother still owned, because it was something Meredith inherited when she came into her trust fund. Taking a few gulps of air, looking between her lap and the front door.

Derek sat beside her in the car, holding her hand and rubbing her back. They sat like that at least 45 minutes before Meredith unbuckled her seatbelt and swallowed hard.

"It's time," she said, sliding out of the car and looking up at the house. It was pretty, two stories, with flowers planted outside lining the pathway up to the front door. Holding Derek's hand, they closed the distance, and soon they were standing in front of the door, damp from the rain, and Meredith's hand was knocking on the door, her heart thudding wildly in her chest. She heard movement behind the door and all at once she wanted to turn and run back to the car, back to the hotel, back to the airport, and hop back on a flight to New York and then crawl into her bed at Yale. But instead, the door was swung open and Thatcher was standing there.

For a moment he looked confused, looking at the medium-height blonde girl standing there, with his grey-blue eyes, his nose, his angled face, and in the next moment his eyes widened as he opened the door and stepped outside.

"Meredith?" he asked her, and her eyes only flashed in return. "Why…why are you here? I looked for you, when your mother took you. I didn't know where you were until recently because…"

"Because of Lexie," she finished, slightly furious that Lexie had turned around and told Thatcher that she had met the big sister she had barely known she had.

"Yeah, it was really fun having my little sister knock on my door one night, and the two of us finding out we were sisters, Thatcher. That my father had moved on so soon after Ellis dragged me across the country, only to abandon me, to find out that my father didn't come after me, that he didn't even try to find his daughter. That you didn't fight for your child, to get her out of a horrible situation. Do you even know how I grew up?" she asked him, her voice quaking as she worked herself up. Thatcher, to his credit, stood there silently.

"I never saw Ellis. I grew up with nannies, one after the other, until I was eleven. I lived in a house with a cook, with housekeepers, with my nanny. I never saw my mother. I was told I was a bother, I was in the was, I was a mistake, that I was never supposed to be born, that she regretted the fact that she didn't get an abortion. Soon after we moved to Boston, she slit her wrists with a butcher knife in front of me, and I wasn't allowed to call 911 until she passed out or else she was going to punish me." Everything was coming out clearly, her voice strong. She wasn't crying, just stating everything she had been through over the years since Thatcher had abandoned her.

"I grew up with no one. I pushed everyone away and out of my life, until I escaped to Yale. This man, right here? This is Derek, this is my fiancée, this is the first person I've been able to let in in 18 years. I'll be 20 in May, which I'm sure you probably don't remember, since it's not like you've remembered my birthday since I was five. It's not like you remembered Christmases, or my birthdays, or the fact that I even existed, because you had a new daughter to focus on," she said, tears finally springing to her eyes. But she refused to shed them, she refused to sink in the waters where she was barely keeping her head above. It was Thatcher's turn to talk.

"Your mother…she signed the divorce papers, she fought for full custody of you. She didn't want me to see you at all, not even a second. Once the papers were signed, she packed up the house and you moved 3000 miles away and didn't give me an address. You were just gone. And then in January Lexie called me….she said she met a Meredith Grey and she was certain she was her sister. She was so excited, even though she told me what you said." Here Meredith grimaced, remembering her horrible and bitchy words to her cute, perky little sister who was most likely inside the house right now.

"I'm not a bad person, Meredith, you know that. We both know that, we both know that everything that went on over the years is Ellis's fault." Meredith squeezed her eyes shut; she hated her mother so much for everything she had done. For dragging Meredith away from Thatcher, for shoving her under the care of nannies, for neglecting her for her entire life, for making her feel unwanted, even going as far as telling her that she shouldn't have been born and unwanted.

"Come inside," he offered, and Meredith balked, stepping back slightly. Derek was there, wrapping an arm around her waist tightly as she chewed on her lip, looking down at her feet. It was one thing yelling at Thatcher on his front porch. It was an entirely different thing stepping inside his house, being surrounded by his wife (her stepmother, she had to keep reminding herself).

"Lexie and Susan are home, and Molly. My other daughter," he stated, and her head started spinning. She took a few deep breaths as one foot stepped in front of the other and suddenly she was in the front hall of her dad's house, gazing at the photos on the wall, including some of her when she was little. It was reassuring, somehow, to know that she was still a part of her dad's life, despite the photo being over 16 years old.

"Come here, Meredith," he said, and she and Derek followed him into the living room. Lexie was sitting there with a younger girl with auburn hair, and an older woman who was blonde. Lexie looked up, narrowing her eyes at Meredith and Derek, while Meredith was in a complete daze.

"Dad, what is **she** doing here," Lexie said, her voice sounding annoyed. Meredith snapped out of her daze and made a face at her, as Thatcher gestured for her and Derek to sit down. Derek sat down in an arm chair, and not wanting to go far, Meredith sat down on his lap in an automatic reflex.

"Alexandra Grey, she's here because I invited her in," Thatcher said, and Lexie shut up, moving closer to her mother. Meredith felt numb still, looking around the house, which vaguely reminded her of the house she grew up in. She recognized some things, but she assumed a lot of the things had been her mothers. She knew her mother still owned the house; it went to Meredith when she came into her trust fund. Like she wanted a house in Seattle; she was two months away from owning a spiffy apartment in New York City and would probably end up working at a hospital there.

"Meredith, this is my wife Susan, and my other daughter Molly. You already know Lexie." Meredith nodded and forced a small smile. Susan was pretty and so were both Lexie and Molly. Molly looked to be about 15, a few years younger than her and Lexie. She was still in a daze, Derek's arm around her waist keeping her safe and sane.

"Hi," she finally stammered out in a slight Boston accent. She had forced herself over the years to not have one and it worked, mostly. Mostly she sounded upper crust, especially since coming to Yale.

"It's nice to meet you," she continued. Derek could hear the strain in her voice, feel her pulse rising. She didn't want to be doing this, but she had to do this.

* * *

The more time they spent at Thatchers, the more Meredith was able to relax against Derek and talk to her family. Molly was a sophomore in high school; Lexie had transferred to Yale because her best friend went there and she had no friends at Harvard. The house they lived in was less than three miles from the house Meredith grew up in. Susan was a nurse at Seattle Grace, which was where Meredith had been born and her mother had worked at until they fled to Boston. She still wasn't clear why her mother had fled; she was divorced and it's not like that was a problem anymore. She made a mental note to confront her mother about all of this.

They spent the morning and afternoon with the Grey's, and Meredith found that she didn't actually hate them. Thatcher had nothing to do with him not seeing her growing up; she knew she would forever deal with abandonment issues but it wasn't Thatcher's fault. Every story had three sides to it, she knew this, but at this point she was just so entirely done with her mother and was glad that in two months, when she turned 20, she wouldn't be financially dependent on her anymore.

After what seemed like ages, Susan invited her into the kitchen to help her and the girls with lunch, and she reluctantly left Derek's lap, looking back at him for a moment before heading into the kitchen. She hovered awkwardly by the counter, not speaking but watching the women – her family – before Susan drew her into conversation.

"So you grew in Boston, what was that like?" she asked her, Meredith leaning on the counter and chewing on her lips. She smiled slightly, raising a brow.

"It was…not like here," she said with a small laugh, brushing her hair back from her face. "A lot of snow, a lot of cold, but they make you go to school anyway. New Haven is kind of the same, so it's nice, it's kind of like home. But home wasn't really home, Yale is more like home, or New York is more like home. New York is where Derek's from, I go home with him whenever we have break, and on holidays and such, but we're buying a place in the city after my birthday in May." She realized she had opened her mouth and spilled out a lot of information and she blushed deeply. Susan, Lexie, and Molly might be her family, but she was shy and reserved around them.

"Where in the city?" Lexie asked her, genuinely interested. Meredith looked up with a small smile.

"Upper West Side. We found it over winter break," she said shyly. She wasn't doing anything in the kitchen except talking to the three of them. "We're moving in over the summer, hopefully, we're really excited about it," she smiled, turning her head to peek into the living room at Derek and Thatcher, who seemed to just be talking.

"How long have you two been together?" Susan asked her, noticing the engagement ring on her finger. Meredith smiled fondly, with Susan noting how much her face lit up when she was asked about Derek.

"Since we met on our first day at Yale. Almost two years. Our wedding is July of next year. We wanted to get married between undergrad and med school, and we plan on going to the same med school," she shrugged. They had yet to think about where they wanted to go to med school, but she knew that in the fall they would start to.

"It's sort of funny, because I met Lexie on her first day at Yale, only I didn't know she was my sister, she just knocked on my door," she said, ducking her head a bit and blushing. She was sure Susan and Molly knew what went on, knew everything Meredith had said to her in those few awful days.

"I'm sorry," Meredith said, straightening up before turning and heading into the living room with a grimace, tugging on Derek's arm.

"Der, can we go?" She asked him, looking up at him with pleading eyes. They had been there for hours by now and her level of comfortable had reached it's peak. She turned to Thatcher with a genuine smile.

"It was nice to see you after all the years, Thatcher, really. It…it's nice to know your side of the story, to know that it wasn't you this whole time," she said steadily, smiling still. He smiled back and bobbed his head.

"How long are you in Seattle for? Will I see you again?" he asked her, and Meredith sucked in a breath. She hadn't wanted to stay long, no more than a day or two, but she supposed they could spend tomorrow here again and leave tomorrow night.

"We're here tomorrow and going home tomorrow night to New York. We'll come back tomorrow," she smiled, reaching out and taking his hands for a moment, before slipping into her coat, she and Derek heading out the door.

In the car she took huge gulps of air, hardly able to believe she just did that. She wracked her brain; that had been intense for her, but finally, maybe, she had a family on the Grey side.

* * *

 **So here's a huge update and I hope you like it! Seems like Meredith has begun to confront some of her demons! Now to confront the biggest of them all – Ellis. Please read and review!**


	25. One Shot Note

So spring break starts in an hour (I'm sidelined in rehearsals because diabetes sucks!) and I plan on updating ALL stories multiple times during the week! But I posted a one-shot song fic and I plan on writing a bunch more during break! Look out for them all, follow my user name so you don't miss anything, I don't want you to miss anything exciting! I wrote the fic (It's titled All Too Well) last night before bed and I'm actually INCREDIBLY proud of it! Lots of the one-shots are going to be based off of Taylor Swift songs but some might not be You never know until you read them! I'm very excited about the things I have planned for my writing and you guys should too!

Also, I made a Grey's twitter and you can follow it at merderloving! I post lots of pictures and tweet a lot if you're interested and I follow back! You can meet your writer ;) Let me know who you are if you decide to follow me!


	26. Wedding Dress

After leaving Seattle, Meredith once again had a spring in her step. For now, the dark and twisties were gone. She had a family, she had blood relations. She had a father, a step-mother, and two half sisters. She had people with her blood running through their veins that loved her and cared about her. She was stunned over how well everything had gone over, considering the fact that she had stormed over to Thatcher's and Susan's with angry, hurtful words. By the time she and Derek had to leave, she didn't want to go, but the rest of spring break was awaiting them.

They ended up in San Francisco, wanting to look at Stanford's med school while they were on the west coast, but generally they wanted a vacation in the bay area. It was beautiful and they had fun just running around being tourists until Friday, when they flew back to New York. Everyone in the Shepherd house could tell Meredith was doing better, but no one had known what had been going on with her, just that clearly things were going much better for her. She smiled brightly, waking up extra early on that Saturday morning, showering and getting dressed in tight black cashmere sweater, jeans, and her new favorite ankle boots, she went downstairs, her hair falling over her shoulders in waves and entered the kitchen, where Derek was making pancakes.

"Morning," she smiled, leaning over the counter. Only Kate was awake, studying for an exam she had Monday morning. She had been raging that her professor gave her an exam the day after break. Derek turned around and smiled at her, before handing her a plate of pancakes that she wordlessly dug into.

She, Addison, and the sisters were heading into the city for a bridal appointment. She knew the wedding was a year and a half away but she wanted her wedding gown. She had an idea of what she wanted for her bridesmaids. Baby Abigail would be her flowergirl, even if she couldn't walk yet, and there was no ring bearer. Derek turned around, a pile of pancakes warming on the stove, having turned off the burner.

"So what are you up to today?" he asked her, and she smiled slyly.

"We're going wedding gown shopping," she smirked, and she watched his smile grow, his eyes twinkling with joy. She knew he was picturing her in a gorgeous gown, walking down the aisle towards him on Thatcher's arm, pledging her undying love to him.

"I mean, we've booked the church for June 8th, we need to figure out where the reception is but I have a few ideas – and no, none of them are outdoors, I refuse to be a sweat monster in my wedding dress – and now we need dresses. It's already March, the wedding is in 15 months. That's like….that's close considering we've been engaged almost a year," she pointed out. They had gotten engaged after Freshman year and they were almost juniors now. Smiling, he dropped into a seat next to her and kissed her gently.

"And I can't wait for those 15 months to pass, it's going to be the slowest 15 months of my life," he laughed, and she shook her head as she laughed with him. His hand ran over her engagement ring, the Shepherd family heirloom that had been passed down to him. They broke apart when they heard Amelia thundering into the room in a grouchy mood.

"I love you Mer but I hate waking up this freaking early to go into the city," she whined, grabbing some pancakes and sitting down across from them. At fifteen now, she was in full fledged teenage mode, raging hormones and all. Meredith rolled her eyes and gave an exasperated sigh.

"Amelia, I have the power to kick you out of your own brothers wedding," she told her, folding her hands and looking at the girl, realizing she and Molly were the same age and made a mental note for them to meet. Before the wedding, that was. Amelia rolled her eyes with some sass and Meredith rolled them right back at her. If anyone knew sassy, irritated teenager it was Meredith. She stood up from the table and drained her coffee.

"Whoever isn't ready by 8:30 is being left behind. And you don't want to be left behind, Amelia," she smirked, before striding out of the room to do her makeup.

* * *

Thankfully everyone was ready by 8:30, and Nancy drove all six of them to the train station, none of them wanting to drive into the city today. The train was only 30 minutes, and soon they were pulling into Grand Central and Meredith was breathing in the crisp spring air. Soon she'd be living here, in just two months all of New York would be hers to explore with Derek.

Their destination for today was Vera Wang; every girls dream. Just making the appointment with Addie all those months ago had excited her to her core. As her cab made it's way to the shop on Mercer Street, she reached for Addison and squeezed her hand tightly. This was happening!

Sliding out of the car in front of the famous store, she felt like she was in a dream. Waltzing in the door and giving her name, she suddenly found herself pulled to the back as everyone else was offered champagne and cookies and such. Back in the dressing room she was fawned over, her measurements taken as she was helped into a corset and offered a mimosa. A few gowns were brought out and she was being helped into one, and she couldn't help but admire the fluff of it all. It wasn't her taste but she felt like a princess as she stepped out of the dressing room in the lace halter gown, which fit her body tightly and flared out at the bottom. Nancy and Kate took photos as she twirled around and giggled, but ultimately she decided she didn't like it and back she went into the dressing room.

This went on over and over again, until she felt she had tried on every gown in the shop. Her feet hurt from the shoes she had brought to try on with the gowns, the corset was pinching her boobs, and she was pretty sure every attendant had seen her naked. She figured she'd try on one last gown and call it a day.

The moment the gown was buttoned and zipped up, she couldn't stop staring at herself in the mirror. The top was bone-white satin, carefully cut and fit to her body, before the gown dramatically poofed out at her waist in a massive ballgown made of tulle, a la Cinderella. There were patches of lace on the tulle skirt, carefully embroidered and detailed, and the bust had satin detailing as well. She was in love and she never wanted to look away from her reflection, but she knew she had to show everyone.

Coming out of the dressing room she twirled around slowly, and there was complete silence from everyone.

"What? You can't all hate it," she pouted. She was so in love with the dress she wanted to wear it everywhere. Lizzie spoke first.

"Mere…it's perfect. It's the perfect dress for you. Der's going to love it on you." Kate made a small sound beside her.

"He's going to love taking it off of her too," she smirked, and Nancy kicked her, looking at Amelia.

"God, I'm fifteen, you act like I don't know what sex is," she rolled her eyes, before looking at Meredith. "it's perfect and if you don't get it, I'm coming to Yale and haunting your room," she grinned. All of them agreed, it was perfect and it was THE dress. One of the attendants came out with a veil, pulling Meredith's hair back and slipping it in. Meredith chewed on her lip.

"I think I want a long one," she admitted with a blush. "We're getting married at St. Patrick's Cathedral, it's only appropriate," she smiled. Soon she was getting undressed and back into her normal clothes, signing the order form and making the down payment. She closed her eyes and envisioned herself, 15 months from now, getting ready with Derek's sisters, her sisters, and Addison. She was going to be Mrs. Shepherd and she couldn't wait.

After several failed attempts at bridesmaids gowns, they finally decided on an a-line strapless gown with an overlay of tulle that gathered at the waist on the right side, in lavender of course. Meredith was pleased; she knew dresses were sometimes the hardest part.

* * *

Once they were finished up with dresses, it was time for tea at the Plaza, something Meredith was treating them all to. She wished Lexie and Molly could be there; Lexie wasn't getting back to New Haven until tonight and Molly was obviously in Seattle. The six of them sat in the Palm Court and enjoyed themselves for a few hours, spoiled by the service and the luxury of the Plaza. It was one of the places that was on Meredith's short list for reception locations; she knew how ridiculously spoiled and privileged she was and she blamed Ellis. She didn't use her name to get ahead or get her places, but she did know that money made things easier in life and she had never wanted for anything, nor would she or her and Derek's children.

Once they arrived back at the house that evening, Meredith was exhausted and went upstairs to chance into her pajamas. Derek was in his room already and Meredith smiled as she stepped in the door, yawning as she changed into one of her Yale shirts, the one with the hole in the armpit, and a pair of yoga pants.

"Hey," she smiled, falling onto her back on the bed. He rolled over on top of her with a smile, running his hands through her hair.

"Hey gorgeous, how did today go?" She smirked up at him and giggled.

"I found my wedding gown. It's absolutely perfect…and you don't get to see it for 15 months," she teased him with a kiss. He pouted and she kissed his nose before going down his jawbone, and then his neck.

"Mmm Mere, come here," he whispered, pulling her close, inching her shirt over her head. Normally she wouldn't have sex in his mothers house, but fuck it. She was sure Lizzie and Kate did it all the time and Meredith was no angel.

"I love you," she whispered, and for once she allowed herself to completely lose herself in him.

* * *

 **Here's your first spring break update guys! I hope you like it! I have a pic of Meredith's wedding gown if you're curious, I can post it on my twitter! Follow me merderloving and request me to post it! Also, please leave me songs you want me to do one-shot song fics for, and even just one-shot ideas! I love to write so much, when I'm depressed I'm write, when I'm anxious I write, writing is like medicine to me So please leave me ideas and requests! I wish made it easier for people to communicate! Anyway, love you guys! Read and review please!**


	27. Everywhere I Go

A/N:

Okay so I sort of screwed up with the timing and what year it was and just noticed it It's not 2018 in the fic, it's 2017, but I'm going to do a time jump and jump to senior year just so I don't have any time flaws in the story. I'm sorry! But look how much closer we are to the wedding now ;) Sorry for my huge flub, guys! Also, I totally agree that Thatcher is a wimp and never looked for Meredith or Ellis. Even back in the 70's he could have located his freaking daughter! Thatcher is definitely not blameless, but for the sake of Meredith's sanity in this story I needed to make him a little bit sympathetic because of the way I'm writing it and such! So. Yes. Hope you like the chapter!

* * *

Junior year had flown by in a flash and Meredith couldn't believe they were seniors now. Moving back into their old room was like coming home after the chaos settled down, and she gazed out into the courtyard with a smile. It was late August and she took in the view, knowing it was the last time she'd see it this way, at the beginning of the school year, filled with sunshine and students.

Lexie popped her head in the doorway and Meredith turned with a smile. She and Meredith got close over Meredith's junior year, and the two girls were actually sisters now, especially with the wedding in under a year now.

"Hey Lex! When did you arrive?" she grinned, hopping off her bed and heading over to her sister, giving her a tight hug. Lexie hugged her back and the two of them shared a moment before Meredith flopped back onto the bed she'd slept in for the past three years.

"I moved in yesterday, Steph came this morning," she smiled, shrugging her shoulders as Addison entered the room, Mark trailing along behind her. Meredith just rolled her eyes and turned back to Lexie, the two giggling about what they did over summer break. Lexie had visited her and Derek at their apartment in NYC and they'd had fun dragging her around to touristy places that they'd never go otherwise, being residents of the city. Otherwise they had spent the summer deciding that med schools to apply to and taking the MCATs. They were still waiting for their scores, but both were confident they had done well.

Med school choices were another story. Meredith was adamant about wanting to go to Dartmouth, while Derek wanted to go to Columbia. Her New England upbringing drew her to Ivies such as Brown, Dartmouth, and Harvard; Derek on the other hand wanted to go to Columbia so they could live in their apartment and be close to his family. UPenn was also an option to him, but Meredith found New England a better choice, loving the quaint college towns and the hustle and bustle of Boston, even though she knew she'd never escape her mother in Boston.

And so the first month of senior year was spent arguing and going back and forth as to where they were applying and where they would go should they be accepted to all the schools they had their eye on. Addie and Mark were in the same boat; Addison longed to get away from New England and head as far away from Connecticut as possible, while Mark wanted to stay relatively close to Meredith and Derek, wherever they ended up.

* * *

The semester progressed quickly, and the four of them sent our their applications to med schools, still awaiting the results of their MCATs, knowing they probably wouldn't get them until at least January. It was an exciting time though, knowing that this time next year they'd all be in med school, training to be doctors. The thought made Meredith's head spin as she crunched through leaves on a cool November day, taking in the beauty of the campus, knowing this was her last fall here, and next November she'd be somewhere else entirely. It was agonizing, not knowing where she was going next year, remembering her wait for undergrad, but when she opened up her mailbox she found her long awaited letter with her MCAT result.

Running back to the dorm, she shouted as she ran down the hall and into Derek's room. He was studying at his desk and looked up at his crazed girlfriend, her cheeks flushed from the cold, waving the coveted envelope in her hand.

"I have my MCAT results," she grinned, eyes wide. "I grabbed yours too," she smiled, handing out his envelope to him. He jumped up from the Desk chair, grabbing the envelope.

"On the count of three?" he asked, grinning at Meredith who was still in her coat, her messenger bag still across her body. She nodded, a smile spreading across her face.

"One….two…three!" they said together, both of them ripping open their envelopes. Meredith's eyes widened and so did Derek's.

"What did you get?" She asked him, bumping his shin with the toe of her boot.

"A 33," he smirked, looking up at her. She grinned, her eyes shining,

"I got a 34!" she screamed out, throwing her bag off of her and jumping into his arms. They'd both done better than average and she was so pleased. The scores had already been sent out to all the schools they'd applied to, and now they just needed to see where they were accepted, and graduate in May. She couldn't stop giggling, reaching up to kiss Derek.

"This is happening, we're really going to med school," she grinned, knowing Mark and Addie probably got their scores today as well.

"We should all go out to dinner tonight," he smiled, reaching for his phone and making a dinner reservation at one of the nicer restaurants in New Haven for the four of them to celebrate tonight. Soon enough, Addie and Mark came running into the room with their letters, tearing into them.

"34," Addison said proudly, and Meredith grinned, twirling around.

"Same as me!" she ginned, throwing her arms around her best friend. Mark had received the same score as Derek, and the four friends celebrated with a bottle of champagne right in the room before they headed out to dinner. Now theat they were all 21, going out was a lot more fun that they didn't have to sneak anything or use fake ID's.

* * *

That Christmas was one of the best Meredith had ever had; Addison spent it with the Shepherds this year and it was crazy. There was another new baby; Kate had had her first and Meredith loved the little boy name Noel, snuggling him close to her chest and taking in his sweet baby smell. Abigail was almost two now, and she loved running around the house after her, having tea parties with her, and snuggling up with her watching Disney films. Her wedding was in less than six months, then it was off to med school, and she had baby fever, stronger than before. She saw the way Derek looked at her with their niece and nephew and she smiled back at him as she sat on the floor in a tiara, giggling as she drank from a tiny teacup. Her life was filled to the brim and she couldn't be happier.

* * *

Spring semester was insane. Loose ends were being tied up, and long awaited med school acceptance letters were starting to arrive, which meant decisions had to be made. The fearless foursome all got into every school they had applied to, but the problem was, they all wanted to go in different directions. Addison wanted to go to UCLA, and luckily so did Mark. Addie had ambitions to be an OB/GYN with a specialization in fetal surgery, while Mark wanted to be in plastics. Since they wanted to go to the same school, it was a no-brainer that they picked UCLA together. It killed Meredith that her best friends were leaving her, but she knew they'd stay close.

She and Derek were an entirely different story. He still wanted to go to Columbia, and she wanted Dartmouth with a great need for the highly sought after school. Being accepted into the Geisel School of Medicine was difficult and Meredith had been wanting it her entire life.

"Der, please, if we don't like Dartmouth we can transfer," she begged. She knew he wanted to be near his family and live in their gorgeous apartment, but the prestige of reaching Dartmouth was not lost on her. He wrinkled his brow and looked over at her – there was no way in hell they were going to different schools while they were married. Besides, he wanted to make her happy and he knew ending up at Dartmouth would make her happy.

* * *

March passed quickly and the April deadline to turn in their acceptance to med school crept up fast. It had been a sore subject between Meredith and Derek, subject to frequent arguments between the pair, and eventually they stopped talking about it all together. Meredith signed her acceptance letter to Dartmouth and mailed it out, knowing it was best for her. Her entire life, she had waited for this moment, and hell or highwater she was going to Dartmouth.

Returning to her dorm room, she slid down in her desk chair and lay her head on the desk. She wasn't sure how long she sat there, but the next thing she knew Derek was waking her up.

"Hey, Mere," he said with a small smile. She rubbed her eyes and smiled back sleepily, brushing her hair out of her eyes.

"Hey," she said, sitting up. "What have you been up to?" she asked him, standing up from the chair.

"I just mailed in my acceptance letter," he said with a small smile. "To Dartmouth," he grinned, sliding his arms around her waist and pulling her in closer. She let out a small sigh of relief, reaching up and kissing him tenderly.

"I love you," she grinned, holding onto him tightly. They were getting married in two months, and then in August they were moving to New Hampshire, and she couldn't wait for all of it.

* * *

May came up so fast that Meredith was dizzy. The four years worth of school were packed up into her and Derek's cars, and suddenly she was standing in front of the mirror in her dorm room in a white lace strapless dress, her graduation robe over her arm as she pinned her cap to her head. She and Addison had decorated their caps with their med school names and logos on them, and as she hung her tassel on it, she felt insanely proud of herself. She had survived undergrad. She had survived everything life threw at her. She was turning 22 in a week and was getting married in a month. So much had happened to change her life and she couldn't believe how everything had turned out. On her first day here she had run into the man who would soon be her husband.

Taking a final look in the mirror that had been hers for four years, she turned away, her wedges sounding heavily on the wooden floor. Derek was in the hallway waiting for her and she smiled, sliding her hand into his.

"Let's do this," she smiled, heading downstairs and out of JE College for the last time.

* * *

The fearless foursome were split up by alphabetical order at graduation, sweltering under the warm May sun in their black caps and gowns. As Meredith heard her name being called, she couldn't help but smile widely as she walked across the stage, shaking the hand of the dean and accepting her diploma as she head Derek cheering wildly for her. She moved her tassel to the other side before taking her seat again, squeezing her eyes shut. She had done it; she had graduated from college.

After the ceremony she met up with her friends and their families – Lexie was there with Thatcher, Susan, and Molly as well. The four families were celebrating their children – even Mark's dad had shown up – when from behind them Meredith heard an all too familiar clearing of the throat and she froze.

"Meredith, darling, it was so lovely seeing you graduate today, especially with the highest honors," the voice grated into her, and she turned, forcing a smile.

"Hello mother," she said, always formal around Ellis. She had sent her an invitation out of formality but didn't actually expect her to come.

"Meredith. Finally doing something I can be proud of. And where are you going to med school? Hopefully nowhere but the best," she preened, and Meredith had to hold back on doing an eyeroll.

"Dartmouth," she said proudly, having moved away from the group, not wanting to expose anyone to the horror that was Ellis Grey. Ellis, to her credit, raised a brow.

"I must say I'm mildly impressed. You certainly stopped pulling your childish crap and pulled your life together. However I won't be making an appearance at your wedding because I simply don't have time for things I don't agree with. It was lovely to see you but I have to get back to Boston for my patients," she said, and with that she was gone.

Meredith was shaking somewhat as she returned to the group, but put on a smile and brushed Ellis away. She had graduated, she had gotten this far in life, and she was damn proud of herself.

* * *

 **I'm so so sorry about the timing error and how fast this chapter went but we're getting to the wedding in the next chapter! Eeeee! Read and review please and I'll have another chapter up ASAP!**


	28. Come What May

The day had finally come. Well, the day before. It was Friday and Meredith and her bridesmaids were running around NYC doing last minute things with Carolyn and Susan, last minute things getting wrapped up in the last few hours before the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.

At around 3, Meredith returned to her and Derek's apartment to get ready for the rehearsal and the dinner. She dressed in a red dress with a deep V neckline, letting Lizzie do her hair in curls and a French twist. She sat at her mirror in her bedroom doing her makeup expertly; she had changed so much from the barely 18 year old girl who had first stumbled into Derek that first day at Yale. She'd grown taller, now reaching 5'7'', and slimmer despite how much she ate. Her hair was a honey brown color and she couldn't look more like Ellis if she tried. Her hazel eyes always shined bright; she had a thirst for life that couldn't be matched. She had grown up with Derek's family and with Addison and Mark, and she wouldn't have it any other way.

With a small smile, she fastened the pearls from her mother at her ears, throat, and wrist, before slipping her engagement ring on her finger. Her feet slipped into a pair of lacy Louboutins, before she stood up and left the bedroom. All of Derek's sisters were there, along with her sisters, Susan, and Carolyn. The men were at a hotel, including Thatcher, and Meredith felt butterflies. They were leaving for the church soon for the rehearsal, and in the morning she would be getting ready for her wedding. She was beyond thrilled.

Amelia jumped up from the couch when she spotted Meredith, her eyes wide. She was 17, almost 18, going into her senior year of high school, eager to follow in the footsteps of her sisters and brother and go to med school. Harvard was her goal, with Brown as a close second. She was ambitious, wanting to be a neurosurgeon like her brother and Meredith.

"You look gorgeous," she said to Meredith with a smile. She was already dressed in a black satin dress and heels, that brought out her sharp blue eyes. Meredith brushed and tucked her bangs back behind her ears, reaching out and hugging her.

"Oh Mia, you look even more gorgeous," she grinned. Amelia was so much shorter than her, even in heels, and she loved it. Amelia smirked, teasing her.

"Of course I do, I'm Amelia Shepherd. But you'll be Meredith Shepherd tomorrow," she grinned, and Meredith couldn't help but smile at that, her eyes sparkling. It had been nearly four years, and she was finally going to be Derek's wife.

* * *

The rehearsal at St. Patricks Cathedral went without a hitch, and soon the wedding party and families were walking down 5th Avenue to the restaurant where the dinner was being held. Meredith and Derek led the around, hands linked as they smiled blissfully at each other. It was a perfect June evening and Meredith couldn't wait until the next day, knowing that at this time tomorrow she'd be Mrs. Shepherd.

The dinner went well, even with Ellis there, and Meredith simply ignored her the entire time and instead basked in her happiness as she and Derek made their way around the room. Mark and Addie, as best man and maid of honor, made toasts to the happy couple, throwing in many jokes as to how they met and how the past four years had been knowing them at school. Meredith couldn't help but roll her eyes at them, laughing along with everyone else. Despite Ellis, she was surrounded by people who loved and supported her with everything they had and she couldn't be more grateful. She had her village.

After dinner, the girls grabbed Meredith for a bachelorette party, much to her many protests.

"Guys, we had a spa day after graduation, I don't want to be hungover on my wedding day!" she cried out, as she was saying goodnight to Derek. The next time she saw him she would be walking down the aisle towards him in her perfect wedding down. Kate rolled her eyes.

"Oh come on, Derek's going out, you need to have at least ONE drink," she told her, and Meredith pouted, reaching out for Derek but he was already gone, Mark and some of their other male friends having dragged him from the room.

"Ugh I hate you," she growled, as she was led from the restaurant and into a limo, a glass of champagne pressed into her hands. Amelia and Molly were the only two of her bridesmaids who were too young to go out, but she had Lexie at her side, thanking god that Lexie had just turned 21 in March. She drained her glass of champagne and set it aside, pouting.

"I swear to god if there's strippers involved you're all disowned and out of my wedding," she stated, as the limo went downtown. She figured they were going to a classy bar, and she was right, as they pulled up to Parkview Lounge, a place she'd been before. Sighing with relief, she allowed herself to be pulled inside the bar and handed a shot of tequila. Normally it was her forte, but she really didn't want to be drunk tonight and wake up in the morning with a hangover, so she did the shot and left it at that. She did, however, have fun the rest of the night with her sisters and best friend, dancing the night away.

They ended up back at her apartment around 2, exhausted and tipsy. Meredith and Addison crashed in the bed, while everyone else crashed in guest rooms or on couches. They had to be awake by ten at the latest, so it they were lucky enough to get some sleep.

Derek on the other hand had no such luck. Mark dragged him around from bar to bar, telling him it was his last night of freedom before he was officially a taken man. Derek just shook his head and laughed, having scotch after scotch until he finally felt a warm feeling settling in.

"I'm really okay with one woman for the rest of my like, Mark, and I thought you were too," he laughed, sitting back in his chair.

"I am, I am, but not so soon. You and Meredith know exactly what you want, you've been making all your decisions together since second semester of freshman year, and then there's me and Addison, I mean luckily we both wanted to end up in LA, but what if we hadn't? We aren't like you and Meredith, we may not have survived in a long distance relationship."

"If you love someone enough you make it work," Derek said pensively. "Love doesn't know boundaries, or distance or time, if you love someone enough you make it work," he told him simply, smiling.

"God, Meredith's got you good," Mark laughed, and Derek shook his head.

"I've been in love with her from the moment she ran into me on move-in day Freshman year. Those eyes, the scent of lavender, the way she smiles, her laughter. She comes from a wealthy family and she doesn't act high and mighty or superior. She's just a normal girl. She has her demons, but don't we all? I'm still not over my dad's death and it was twelve years ago. She had a horrible upbringing and she's still standing. She's strong. She can make it through anything. And I'm going to be by her side through everything," he said simply. Maybe it was the scotch talking, but he spoke from the heart. Mark looked at him, smiling a bit.

"Yeah, I think you're ready to get married," he grinned.

* * *

Meredith woke up when her alarm went off, rubbing her eyes and blinking at the sunshine pouring through the blinds in her bedroom. Addison was also slowly waking up beside her and it slowly dawned on her: she was getting married today. Her heart started beating wildly in her chest, her stomach filling with butterflies as she got excited, looking at her wedding gown hanging on the back of her closet door.

"Oh my god, Adds, it's actually happening. I'm getting married," she said in awe, a huge smile spreading across her face. Addison wrapped her arms around her best friend tightly; she had literally been there for every moment and that wasn't going to stop just because they were going to two different schools in the fall.

"Yes you are," Addie giggled, as Meredith climbed out of bed and headed over to the French doors and stepping out onto her balcony.

"I'M GETTING MARRIED TODAY!" she screamed into the loud city, knowing her voice would be lost but she didn't care. She was screaming it from the rooftops.

Hair and makeup people were set to arrive around 10:30 to 10:45, and there were caterers bringing in food for the girls to nosh on while they got ready, and Meredith was just so excited and anxious she just couldn't wait for anything. Her hair and makeup was to be done last, to minimize it potentially getting messed up, and until then she had to try not to climb up the walls with anxiety.

The hair and makeup girls arrived on time, as did the caterers, and everyone did their thing, drinking mimosas and eating, each bridesmaid sitting and getting hair and makeup done. When it was Meredith's turn she sat, her hair getting swept back in pinned down curls in a twist, her makeup getting done at the same time. By now it was close to one, and the photographer had arrived and was taking candid pictures of everyone. Some of the girls were getting into their bridesmaids gowns, the beautiful confections of satin and tulle lavender strapless gowns Meredith had painstakingly found.

When she was finished with her hair and makeup, she looked in the mirror and loved what she saw.

"Oh, I wish I could look like this everyday," she giggled. She didn't have lipstick on yet; that came last. She headed into the bedroom to change into a pair of underwear she had chosen just for her wedding, and the corset she was to wear with her wedding gown. Carolyn, Addison, and Lexie joined her, to help her get into her wedding gown, and the photographer followed. For a second, she lamented the fact that she had no real mother to be there with her, but at this point Carolyn was as close to a real mother as she was going to get.

Standing in front of her full length mirror, her wedding gown was brought to her and she started tearing up. This was it. This was the moment. She stepped into the gown and she held it to her bust as Carolyn and Addison zipped it, and then used a crochet hook to button it up, the photographer snapping photos of the process the entire time. With the dress on she looked at herself in the mirror, smoothing down the tulle of the enormous skirt. Lexie came up behind her, setting her veil into her hairdo and sliding her arms around her sisters waist. Meredith couldn't believe how far they'd come in their relationship, that her little sister was standing beside her, helping her get ready for her wedding.

Lexie handed her her pearls; the necklace, bracelet, and earrings Ellis had given her. Despite her relationship with her mother, she would always cherish the gift. Her something blue and new were the blue satin Manolo Blahniks she had yet to put on; her something borrowed was an old handkerchief of Derek's fathers that she had tucked into her corset, and she didn't have something borrowed yet.

Carolyn came back into the room holding an old box with a smile on her face. Meredith turned to greet her, her gown rustling with every step she took.

"I want you to have this, it's been passed down from Shepherd women for hundreds of years," she said to Meredith, handing her the box. Meredith sat down on the edge of the bed, careful of her veil, and opened it up. Inside was a comb, small enough to tuck into her hair, studded with sapphires and diamonds. It was breathtaking and she gasped slightly, her fingers going over the expensive jewels.

"Oh! Carolyn…this is so beautiful, I can't possibly…" she trailed off, her eyes filling with tears.

"Oh you must. You're the only Mrs. Shepherd of this generation and it has to be passed down to one of your children," she insisted with a smile, kissing Meredith on the forehead, before taking the comb out of the box and sliding it into Meredith's hair.

"Look, now you're ready to be a Shepherd," she said, tears in her eyes as she gazed upon the beauty that was her soon to be daughter in law. After helping her put on her shoes, and giving her a hand standing up, the two women embraced – the photographer catching every moment.

* * *

Meredith left her bedroom and everyone fussed over her, glad the photographer was there. She was excited and fluttery and couldn't stop laughing with her family as they did group shots and candids. Meredith felt like a princess in her gorgeous Vera Wang gown, and the bridesmaids looked great as well. The flowers had been delivered; the bridesmaids had calla lilies wrapped in lavender ribbons, while Meredith had a full bouquet of white roses and stephanotis, with pearls in the center of the stephanotis. They posed on the balconies of the apartment, the city in the background, blue skies for miles and Central Park providing a gorgeous backdrop.

It was nearing 3 PM, so the girls piled into the limo and they were off to the Cathedral. It was on the other side of the park and Meredith gazed out the window on their way there, her heart thudding in her chest. She was going to be married in an hour, she was going to be Mrs. Shepherd.

All too soon they were pulling up at St. Patricks, and everyone was helping Meredith and her voluminous gown from the limo, and she was giggling like crazy with nerves. They were ushered into the bridal suite, with guests still arriving, and Meredith was fluttery with intense nerves. Not like she was thinking of backing out, but she just couldn't wait to walk down that aisle.

Twenty minutes passed, and soon she and her bridesmaids were told to line up. Nancy went first, with little Abigail, followed by Kate, Lizzie, Amelia, and Lexie. Addison went last as maid of honor, and then suddenly Meredith found herself on the arm of Thatcher, who kissed her forehead.

"I always imagined walking one of my daughters down the aisle, but I never dreamed it would be you, Meredith Elizabeth," he told her, and her eyes teared up as the doors opened and the wedding march began to play. The aisle was long and the pews were filled on both sides with family and friends, but all she could see was Derek. Derek standing tall and straight in his black tux, his hair combed neatly back, his blue eyes tearing up as he gazed at Meredith, falling more in love with her the closer she got.

Somehow the gap between her and Derek closed, and Thatcher was placing her hand in Derek's. Tears were streaming down her face and she was thanking the makeup artist for waterproof everything. Derek lifted the veil from her face and kissed her lips and she smiled, passing her roses to Addison before the ceremony begun.

They had a whole mass to get through before the wedding vows, and Meredith patiently knelt and stood and said the prayers that had filled her life for the past four years. She wasn't a religious person, but she respected that the Shepherds were and it would fill her life for as long as she lived.

Finally it came to the wedding vows, and she turned to Derek, her hands in his as her eyes filled with tears. They had chosen to write their own vows, and Meredith had memorized them. Even so, her hands shook and he gave them a tight squeeze.

"Derek, from the moment I met you I felt sparks, that day I literally slammed into you in the courtyard." She paused here and blushed, before going on. "I had no idea that you would become such a huge part of my life, let alone my husband. Not only have you taught me how to become a better person, but you've taught me so much about who I am and what I can do in this world. Meeting you and falling in love with you has been the best journey of my life so far and I can't wait to continue on that path. You are the love of my life and I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else."

She could see Derek tearing up and she pressed her red lips together as he cleared his throat.

"Meredith, no words will ever match how much I love you. I was convinced I would lose you in the sea of girls that day, and you turned up living right across the hall from me and I thought to myself that I was the luckiest guy in the world. I fell in love that first day, and I fell in love every day you knocked on my door to go to breakfast, every time we walked to class, and every time you came home with me. No one else ever had a chance, I was a goner from the start. You didn't save me, we saved each other. I believe in fate, and I truly believe that we were meant to run into each other that day four years ago, because I can't imagine standing here in front of anyone else."

Meredith was openly crying by now and trying not to. She vaguely heard the priest reciting the vows they had to say to each other; she may or may not have repeated them to Derek. She felt a ring being slipped onto her finger, and then she was sliding one onto Derek's, and then she was being pulled in for a kiss, unable to stop smiling as the priest declared them Mr. and Mrs. Shepherd. Addison passed her her roses back and they were waltzing down the aisle, hand in hand, Meredith unable to stop smiling up at Derek, her giggling infectious as he looked down at the woman who had just become his wife.

* * *

From St. Patricks they crossed the street into Central Park, where they took endless photos. The wedding party traipsed through the park after the photographer where he got endless shots of Derek and Meredith and the rest of the party. He got plenty of solo shots of the newly married couple in sweet, candid poses as the pair broke away from the rest of the wedding party. Meredith was giddy and drunk on happiness as she twirled in her gown, the photographer snapping away. They were close to Bethesda fountain and one of the lakes in the park, and Meredith kept giggling as she and Derek played by the fountain.

They spent at least two hours in the park, walking up and down, finding amazing places for photos, before the entire wedding party headed towards 57th street to the Plaza, where the reception was being held. Shockingly, Meredith's feet didn't hurt from her heels and she silently thanked Addison for making her wear heels the past four years.

As soon as they entered the hotel, the bridal party was whisked away to a private cocktail room just for them, waiting for their debut. Meredith knew her mother was lurking out there somewhere but she was so happy she didn't care.

"So Mr. Shepherd," she purred, perched on a leather chaise lounge, a glass of champagne in her hand.

"Yes, Mrs. Shepherd?" he asked her, and she tilted her head back, feeling his lips against hers. She would never tire of hearing herself being called Mrs. Shepherd.

* * *

Soon enough cocktail hour was over and the bridal party had been introduced along with Meredith and Derek. He pulled her out onto the dance floor for their first dance and Meredith smiled as the first chord of 'Til Kingdom Come' by Coldplay started playing.

 _Steal my heart and hold my tongue._ _  
_ _I feel my time, my time has come._ _  
_ _Let me in, unlock the door._ _  
_ _I've never felt this way before._

Meredith felt Derek's arm pull her close and she rested her and on his shoulder, her other hand entwining with his as they rocked back in forth in time to the music. She was so close to him she could almost taste him and she closed her eyes for a moment, breathing him in.

 _The wheels just keep on turning,_ _  
_ _The drummer begins to drum,_ _  
_ _I don't know which way I'm going,_ _  
_ _I don't know which way I've come._ _  
_

Opening her eyes she looked into his, her smile lighting up her face. She'd been waiting for this day, this exact moment, since she'd turned 19. It was finally here and it was more perfect than she could have ever imagined.

 _Hold my head inside your hands,_ _  
_ _I need someone who understands._ _  
_ _I need someone, someone who hears,_ _  
_ _For you, I've waited all these years._

Derek sang the words into her ear, whispering softly and she closed her eyes again as he dipped her low to the ground. The look on her face of pure bliss was captured by the photographer, giggling as he pulled her up and close to him.

 _For you, I'd wait 'til kingdom come._ _  
_ _Until my day, my day is done._ _  
_ _And say you'll come, and set me free,_ _  
_ _Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me._

Slipping her own arms around his waist, she held him close, resting her head on his shoulder. She was tall for a girl, but in her heels she was his height. She wanted to stay like this forever, in her wedding gown, dancing to one of the songs that highlighted their relationship, however old the song was. She was happy, happier than she could ever remember being.

 _In your tears and in your blood,_ _  
_ _In your fire and in your flood,_ _  
_ _I hear you laugh, I heard you sing,_ _  
_ _"I wouldn't change a single thing."_

He twirled her outward and then back in, rocking her back and forth gently. She took slow, deep breaths, savoring and remembering each moment for when it was over. This was her wedding, this was her moment. All eyes were on them.

 _The wheels just keep on turning,_ _  
_ _The drummers begin to drum,_ _  
_ _I don't know which way I'm going,_ _  
_ _I don't know what I've become._

Derek turned her around again so they were facing each other, lost in the movements of the dance, lost in the words and meaning of the song and Meredith signed happily, her eyes watering again. She couldn't think of a more perfect day, a more perfect song, or a more perfect man to be married to.

 _For you, I'd wait 'til kingdom come,_ _  
_ _Until my days, my days are done._ _  
_ _Say you'll come and set me free,_ _  
_ _Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me._ _  
_ _Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me._ _  
_ _Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me_

The song ended and everyone in the room clapped, and Meredith smiled uncontrollably next to Derek, staying close to him.

"Everyone make some noise for the new Mr. and Mrs. Shepherd!" the DJ yelled, and Meredith turned to Derek, kissing him once again, giggling against his lips. She was just so happy, she couldn't stop giggling. She felt like she was walking on air.

* * *

The reception went on for hours, with almost everyone up on the dance floor with Meredith and Derek. She couldn't remember having this much fun in her life, ever, and she felt like a princess in her wedding gown. Her veil had been long forgotten in the bridal suite upstairs, but the sapphire and diamond comb from Carolyn was still fixed in her hair. She had had so many glasses of champagne and felt light and giddy as she danced with Lexie and Molly, the three sisters having the time of their lives. Derek caught her around the waist for a kiss and she grinned, hanging on him for a moment before she grabbed Amelia, swinging her around.

When it was time to toss the bouquet, every single girl formed a group, and Meredith turned around and tossed it as hard as she could. To her surprise, Addison caught it, and Meredith threw Mark a shit eating grin to let him know that he was next.

* * *

By 1am, half the guests had left, and those that were still there were winding down. Meredith and Derek took leave to the bridal suite upstairs, where there were pajamas and clothes for the next day, but all she was concerned about was now. The suite was huge, with a full living room and a huge, ornate bedroom suite.

Walking into the suite, she kicked off her shoes and smiled, her hand still in Derek's.

"Mmmm take me to bed, Mr. Shepherd," she growled. Her makeup was melting off and her hair was falling out, and her gown was dirty at the bottom, but she didn't care. Neither did Derek. To him, she had never looked so gorgeous. It was their wedding night, and after a moment he scooped her up, tulle ballgown and all, and stepped into the bedroom, laying her down on the bed. It took him forever to undo the tiny buttons that went down the back of her gown, but finally when the gown was off they made love for the first time as husband and wife.

* * *

 **WOW this is the longest chapter I've ever written for any fic! 10 pages in word and well over 4000 words. I wanted it to be really detailed and well-written because you guys deserve it! 200 reviews WOW! And someone said that this is my best story, thank you SO much! You guys are seriously amazing, you are who I write for! I love all of you so much!**

 **I promise I'm not abandoning Dreams, it's just hard to write for when I don't like the way the show is going (and I may stop watching because I'm really pissed that Shonda is making Meredith move on) but I'm going to try and update it later tonight Also! I put a photo of Meredith's wedding gown in my profile**


	29. Big As The Sky

Meredith and Derek had ended up buying a house in Hanover, and moved in after their honeymoon, which had been spent in Santorini. Moving in was in and just the two of them into their small, four bedroom house in the middle of the woods. Derek felt at peace there, enjoying beer on the back deck as the sun sunk beneath the trees.

Meredith on the other hand loved decorating their house, from the bed linens to the couches, to the paintings on the wall. The house was small, with four bedrooms and two and a half bathrooms, ten rooms in all in the middle of the woods, but the loved it's open plan, the downstairs rooms flowing into each other, and the serenity of their neighbors being over a mile away. It was peaceful and she found herself loving the late summer nights of swimming in their pool, the days before med school started.

School started August 26th, and Meredith and Derek drove in together. They had were in the same classes like at Yale, with much smaller class size. Everyone would know they were married but neither of them cared. Meredith was excited because the program threw them right into clinicals, and she was eager to get into the hospital and practice medicine. Derek teased her, telling her she didn't' know anything yet, and on the pathway to the building that held their first class of the day, she rolled her eyes and pushed him gently with a chiding look.

"Hey, it's going to be fun. We're med students, we get white coats and they sort of trust us," she giggled, smoothing down her black lacy sundress, her black flip flops thwacking on the pavement as they walked hand in hand to Human Anatomy and Physiology, their first class of med school.

* * *

Meredith found herself enthralled by all of her classes, and by they time Friday/Clinicals rolled around, she was eager to show up at the hospital, nagging at Derek that morning to get up and get dressed. She threw on a nicer dress, a navy one with white stripes, stepping into brown sandals, tying her hair back in a ponytail as she looked in the mirror. She would be 23 in May and she was a med student, finally. She missed living with Addison, knowing she and Mark were 3000 miles away in LA doing the exact same thing she and Derek were doing. Even though it was 6 AM in Hanover and 3am in LA, she sent off a quick text to Addison.

"Miss you," she typed, and she got an immediate text back.

"Miss you too!" she got, and smiled.

"Why the hell are you even awake!?"

"Too nervous for clinicals!" Meredith had to giggle at that and shook her head as she went downstairs, eating the bowl of oatmeal Derek placed in front of her. Now that they were out of dorms and out on their own, Derek was making sure she got proper nutrition, which she definitely didn't mind. He sat down at the table across from her and she looked up with a smile.

"So I know I've been an adult four and a half years, but is it weird I actually feel like an adult today? We get to go into a hospital and somewhat practice medicine," she grinned, her rings flashing in the sun that was starting to rise over the trees that surrounded their house. Derek couldn't help but smile, reaching over and grabbing her hand.

"Well we have a long way until we're doctors but it's a start," he laughed at her, pushing the bottle of orange juice across the table towards her and she wrinkled her nose at him and stuck out her tongue.

"Don't even remind me, we have four years," she moaned, hating that she had just finished undergrad and now she had another four years, then seven years, before she was the top of her field. Getting up from the table she rinsed out her bowl and put it in the dishwasher, before turning back to him.

"So…we get to pretend to be doctors. Once a week. For four years," she grinned, standing against the kitchen counter, bouncing up and down slightly. She still couldn't believe she had made it this far; 18 seemed like a long way away from how old she was now, and married as well, living hours away from the people she called family. That was just how life turned out, really, when you became an adult.

"Yes Meredith, I'm aware," he teased her, watching her as she grabbed a cup of coffee and drank the liquid, making a face at him.

"Hey, no mockery, pretending to be a doctor is going to be fun! Maybe. Hopefully," she laughed, putting her mug in the dishwasher. She was young and hopeful, excited to do the things she'd be doing for the rest of her life.

* * *

They parked at the hospital associated with their program and the two of them hurried in, eager to find their professor and get started with their day. Finding him and the rest of their class, they were handed white lab coats. Meredith slipped hers on before turning to Derek with a smirk, raising her eyebrows as she twirled around in her brand new lab coat. She was even handed a pin with her name on it. Meredith Shepherd, in script, pinned to the left side of her chest.

"Hi, I feel really cool right now," she hissed to him as they followed their professor and the rest of their class through the halls of the hospital. She knew it was just orientation day and they weren't allowed to touch patients but she didn't care, they were playing pretend basically. They were pretending to be doctors and Meredith loved it.

At the end of the day, however, she was exhausted and looking forward to going back home to their house in the woods and climbing into bed with her husband. On the car ride home she fell asleep against the window, despite the fact that the hospital was only 15 minutes from their house. Once they were in the driveway, Derek gently shook her awake and led her into the house, where she laid down on the house while he made dinner. They had somehow settled into married life quickly and gently, routine coming to them easily.

Getting up for dinner was a chore, and she had already changed into her pajamas: black shorts, a white tank top, and a grey, long sleeved Dartmouth shirt that had quickly become her favorite thing. She wore it to bed no matter what the temperature was; she had gotten it when they toured Dartmouth over winter break last year. Strolling to the table, she sat down and rubbed her eyes, digging into a plate of pasta before she spoke.

"Okay, so this med school thing? It's kind of exhausting," she moaned, stabbing the air with her fork. Derek could only laugh at her, at how tired she was as she drank a glass of wine.

"Oh and you thought it would be a walk in the park?" he laughed at her, taking a sip of his own wine. She stuck her tongue out at him and shook her head.

"No, but undergrad was such a breeze, I barely studied and I had a lot of sex with my gorgeous fiancée. Where did he go?" she teased, eating some more pasta and smirking at him.

"Ouch, that hurt really hard," he laughed, clutching his chest before scrunching up his nose. Both of them were finished and he took her plate, washing it off in the sink before tucking it away in the dishwasher, before joining here on the couch, where she was curled up with her wine and a blanket. Snuggling up to Derek she let her head rest against his chest, drifting away. It had been a long and hard first week in med school, but she was satisfied that they'd get through it together.

* * *

Whipped up a quick chapter for you guys of our favorite couple starting med school! I hope you like it! I might breeze through med school but I'm not sure Either way I please read and review!


	30. Least Complicated

Fall hit New Hampshire sooner than it did Connecticut, and Meredith found herself surrounded by cool air by the end of September. She had taken up running to get her to chill out after classes and clinicals, and she loved the crisp air filling up her lungs as she ran on the heavily wooded paths by their home. Her feet pounded the dusty pavement and her ponytail swished back and forth as she sweat out all her fears and stress, returning home after five miles and panting as she grabbed water out of the fridge. It had become her solace, her saving grace. Couldn't figure out a hard question? Throw on her shoes and run it out. At Yale she and Addison would dance it out before returning to their work, but now she was all about running. Derek teased her about it to no end, wondering how his wife had ended up becoming sporty, and she teased him back with a roll of her eyes, considering the fact that he had taken up golf and in the spring they both were going to take up tennis.

Med school was unlike anything Meredith had ever done before. It was new. It was challenging. Yet somehow she knew all the answers, from sitting in OR galleries and spinning in chairs at the nurses station. She hid behind the last name Shepherd, but her brain screamed Grey. The pair were acing their classes and everyone hated them, but Meredith didn't care. Veni, vedi, veci, she always said, turning in a paper with a smile on her face before leaving the classroom. She came, she saw, she conquered. She kicked ass.

She missed Addison like crazy though, and she was sure she would never find another best friend like her. She knew Addison liked LA, as did Mark, but the four of them couldn't wait for Thanksgiving at the Shepherds when they could convene again. At school, Meredith was brusque and kept mostly to herself and Derek, not wanting to betray Addison, but by November she had found herself gravitating towards a girl named Juliet who was from California. She found her fascinating.

"Why would you come to New England when you have gorgeous and sunny California all around you?" Meredith giggled one day while they were working on a paper in the library. Juliet smiled and tucked her blonde hair behind her ears.

"California…it's all so fake. I'm from LA and everything is just so fake! The people, the places, it's all the same. Out here is so quaint and adorable, and Dartmouth is the best," she shrugged. Meredith grinned.

"Two of my best friends go to UCLA and they had the same complaint. They miss it back here. I was actually born in Seattle though, and grew up in Boston. My husband and I have a place in NYC and we have our house here," she said with a smile, running her finger over her rings.

"You're married?" Juliet asked, her eyes wide. Meredith smiled fondly and nodded.

"For about four months now," she laughed, shaking her head. "Still adjusting to married life. Oh, here he is now," she smiled, as Derek sat down at the table with them and pulled out his laptop.

"Derek, I made a friend! This is Juliet." She smiled, gesturing to her new friend. Juliet waved at Derek before gathering up her books.

"It was nice meeting you Derek and Mer, we have to study together again soon, I'm so lost with all of these things, but I so need to get back to my dorm," she laughed, her blonde hair shaking back and forth before she politely departed. Meredith turned to Derek with a look on her face.

"See? I can make med school friends. I don't have to rely on Addison," she giggled as he leaned in and kissed her on the lips.

"And I don't have to rely on Mark, I made a friend named Weiss today. Maybe we can hook him up with her friend Savannah she met in LA…she's from New York and so is Weiss," he grinned. Meredith couldn't do anything but laugh as she shoved her books into her Coach messenger bag and pulled on her wool coat and scarf. It was a Friday and they were leaving for New York City for the week and having Thanksgiving in their apartment there.

Once they got home, Meredith got to packing, including some nice clothes for days out in the city and for the holiday, and soon she was ready after changing into yogas and her trusty Dartmouth shirt. It was snowing lightly and she smiled; she had never seen snow at Thanksgiving before in her life, even living in Boston. Grabbing a few coats, she piled her things into Derek's BMW SUV; they had upgraded their cars upon getting into medical school and moving to New Hampshire.

* * *

The ride to New York was longer than it had been from Yale, and Meredith found herself falling asleep instead of fighting to control the music this time. It was only when Derek was parking in the underground lot below their building that she woke up, and she helped him move their things upstairs to their lavish apartment. She had had the time of her life furnishing it with Addison, and he had to admit that he liked it. It was pretty and tasteful, and it didn't feel like it belonged in a museum like he felt when he had visited some of his friends from Yale, and especially when he visited the Grey brownstone in Boston. Quickly they settled in and they ended up snuggling up together on the couch with one of Meredith's favorite movies, Breakfast at Tiffany's, the two of them falling asleep in each others arms.

Waking up to the sunrise over Central Park was magical. They hadn't spent much time in their NYC apartment; most of it had been spent at Yale or on crazy adventure vacations, but this was worth waking up for. She knew the Shepherds would love watching the parade go past their window and as she started a pot of coffee and pulled out her books, she found herself drawn to the window again and again, watching New York wake up outside her window. She couldn't wait until she was finally an intern and could live here forever.

* * *

The week flew by quickly in a flurry of running around the city, preparing for Thanksgiving. Carolyn came down and helped her; Meredith's cooking skills had improved but she still wasn't ready to cook a huge Thanksgiving meal for the family. Derek hovered around until Meredith yelled at him, telling him to go pick up Addison, Mark, and Savannah at the airport. They had invited Weiss over as well, and by now Nancy had two children, and Kathleen was pregnant with her second. Abigail, Emma, and Noel were so adorable. At three years old, Abigail was excitable, at one Noel was nothing but trouble, and Emma was a six month old in Nancy's arms.

Meredith was helping Carolyn make a pumpkin pie when Derek burst in the front door, Addie, Mark, and Savannah in tow. Meredith dropped everything she was doing and screamed, running at Addison head on and throwing her arms around her.

"Oh my god you're so tan!" she screamed, holding her close. It had only been three months but it felt like a lifetime. Addison laughed at the tiny, dirty blonde clinging to her.

"Holy shit Mer, you're even tinier than before, what the hell are you doing!?" she laughed, as Derek smirked.

"Oh, Mer's gone all sporty on me, she runs like five miles a day in the woods by our house." Meredith hit him on the arm, hard, and rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, and you've taken up golf and squash and basically everything, you go to the gym for hours," she giggled, leading their guests and their bags into the guests rooms they'd be occupying.

"I'm so sorry, you must be Savannah," she smiled at the tall, pretty blonde, giving her a hug. The girl smiled back at her.

"Call me Savvy, everyone else does. You're Meredith, I've heard so much about you and seen so many photos. Your wedding photos are to die for!" Meredith laughed and led her into the apartment.

"Do you want anything to drink? We have basically everything" she smiled, pouring a glass of white wine for herself. Tequila came after all the relatives had left and it was just the young adults, mainly Lizzie, Mer, Derek, Mark, Addison, Savvy, Weiss, and Amelia.

Amelia popped her head out of one of the bedrooms, where she had just put down baby Emma, and looked excitedly at the guests who had arrived. She was on break from her first semester at Harvard and smirked, acting like she knew everything.

"Guys! It's meeee!" she sang out, Mark grabbing her in a huge hug.

"Amelia!" he grinned, swinging her around. "And how's Harvard, miss bigshot?" he smirked, gently putting her down.

"Harvard is great, it's SO much fun being smarter than everyone," she boasted, and Meredith laughed.

"When you get to med school you get to brag, darling," she smirked, handing her a glass of wine and shooing her into the kitchen.

* * *

Thanksgiving was merry, with everyone crowding around the table and giving thanks for everything. Meredith always said she'd never been happier at Thanksgiving, but really, this one topped the charts. She and Derek were married, Addison and Mark were here, and Savvy and Weiss were getting along great. Kathleen was due in three more months, and there were two nieces and a nephew at the table. Meredith couldn't stop smiling; she knew it was partially the wine, but she was also happy. Her life was at such a high point – she was finally a med student, and in three and a half years she would finally be a doctor. Dr. Meredith Shepherd. She liked the sound of that.

After the dinner table was cleared, Meredith claimed baby Emma out of Nancy's arms and stood with her at the window, looking down at Central Park again. The baby looked up at her with wide, wondering eyes and she smiled down at her tiny niece, rocking her back and forth. She didn't notice Derek behind her until he wrapped his arms around her, the two of them looking down at Emma with a smile. Silently she looked up at him with a smile, still rocking the baby.

"Der, I want one," she said, pleading silently.

* * *

 **Here's another Thanksgiving! Hope you guys enjoyed! Remember to check out my new story, Someone Like You**


	31. Shake Up Christmas

December was weird for the newly married couple. Snow everywhere and nothing was canceled. Sure it had snowed in Connecticut and Boston but this was nearly all the time. Mer loved the stillness around the house, the deer coming out of the woods and standing in their backyard as she stared out the backdoor.

They were having Christmas in New Hampshire this year, and had gone crazy decorating the house. There were lights strung outside and draped across bushes, and Meredith had strung them inside the house too, among the rafters and in places that weren't the Christmas tree. She was determined to have her first Shepherd family Christmas be great. Christmas break from Dartmouth started the 15th, and she spent her time shopping for presents for everyone, and carefully wrapping them under the tree. Their house was only 3 bedrooms, but they had pullout couches and air mattresses for everyone else. It was going to be cozy and she loved it.

She had even invested in baking, making gingerbread men and classic Christmas cookies, and she was pleased with how everything tasted, as was Derek. There was some hope for her yet with cooking, especially since she wanted to partake in helping cook Christmas brunch and dinner.

* * *

Finally it was a few days before Christmas, and family started showing up. Carolyn was first, with Amelia and a carful of gifts for everyone. Amelia somehow looked older, emanating the Harvard student that she was. Her hair was shorter, up to her shoulders now, and she was no longer the talkative 13 year old Meredith had met five years ago. Of course she still talked and was sassy as hell, but she had an air of confidence and worldly knowledge that she carried with her.

"Oh my gosh, your house is amazing," she gushed, putting her bag down at the door before hugging Mer and Der. Meredith smiled and hugged her back; she had always been short but she was still shorter than Meredith.

"Well I made it extra amazing for my favorite in laws," she grinned, dragging Amelia into the kitchen for spiked hot chocolate, something Carolyn would never know about. She poured chocolate whipped vodka into Amelia's mug and shot her a smile as they began to talk about school –Derek was with Carolyn and Meredith loved bonding time with Amelia. Before long, the two girls wandered into the family room, where they put on Christmas Vacation and curled up with blankets.

"I'm thinking about surprising Derek with a dog before Christmas Eve. Just bring one home. There's a breeder I've been in contact with that has yellow labs and I know he wants a big dog," she smiled over her mug of hot chocolate. Amelia grinned back and nodded.

"I want in on this! A puppy for your first Christmas married to Der would be cute!" she laughed, the vodka clearly going straight to her head despite all the parties she attended at Harvard. Meredith laughed with her and smiled.

"So it's settled then. Tomorrow we get Derek a puppy," she giggled, draining her hot chocolate with a smile as they sat back and watched the movie.

* * *

Operation: Get Derek a puppy was in full swing as Meredith pulled on her jeans and sweater in the morning, letting Derek sleep in. She stumbled downstairs to find that Carolyn had made waffles for breakfast. Amelia was already there, dressed neatly in leggings and a sweater with Uggs. She shot Meredith a knowing glance and Meredith smiled, sliding next to her at the kitchen table, grabbing a waffle and smothering it with strawberries and whipped cream, pouring herself a glass of milk.

"What are you ladies doing today?" Carolyn smiled, knowing that Derek was off to get Addie and Mark at the airport. Meredith smiled up at her and zipped her lips.

"It's a secret," she said, her green eyes sparkling as she ate her waffle, taking another one once she was finished.

"Yeah, mom, Mer and I are doing some last minute shopping," she said with a mischevious smile. Carolyn caught it and smiled.

"As long as it's not illegal and won't land you guys in jail you're fine," she laughed, and Meredith got up to clear their plates. Soon she was shoving her own feet into Uggs, grabbing her scarf and heavy coat and finding her car keys, heading to the car.

* * *

The breeder wasn't far from their house, and in no time at all she and Amelia were getting out of the car and knocking on the door. An older lady answered the door with a smile, and Meredith smiled back.

"Hi, I'm Meredith Shepherd, I contacted you a few weeks ago about one of the puppies and you said today would be a good day to come and pick one out," she smiled, as the lady welcomed them both in. The puppies were in a fenced off area in the laundry room, and they were so tiny, fluffy, and adorable that Meredith couldn't help herself.

"You can have your pick, no one else has contacted me yet," the lady smiled, as Meredith and Amelia went crazy over the adorable puppies.

"Oh I want this one," she cooed at the female puppy who was snuggling up in her arms. Amelia looked over and grinned.

"I think she's the one. Let Derek name her though," she smiled, and the two sisters grinned, sharing a secret together. Meredith stood up and went to the breeder, paying for the puppy and soon they were on the road again, hitting up the nearest pet store for food, a bed, toys, water and food bowls, etc. Derek was either going to love her or kill her.

* * *

Coming home with the dog was hilarious. Derek had left for the airport and Carolyn was the only one home. When they walked in with the puppy, which ran immediately to Carolyn, who shook her head.

"Meredith, Derek is going to kill you." Meredith could only laugh.

"He's been wanting a dog since forever! To run with and walk through the woods and cuddle with. It's his surprise early Christmas gift," she smirked, reaching down and ruffling the puppy's soft fur.

"You're the sweetest little girl ever and daddy is going to come up with the perfect name for you because you're just so damn cute," she cooed, smiling, before standing up and taking off her jacket and kicking off her snow covered boots. The dog ran around the house and the two girls had fun chasing her, the dog climbing all over him.

When Derek came home with Mark and Addison, Meredith let the dog run up to him and jump at his legs as she stood there with a smirk.

"Mer, there's a dog in the house," he stated, very confused. She giggled and stood up, throwing her arms around him.

"I know there's a dog in a house. She's ours, she's an early Christmas present for you," she smirked, reaching down and picking up the puppy, who was only 8 weeks old. His eyes widened as he reached out to pet the small puppy.

"So you went out and got us a dog," he smirked, looking at the dogs sweet face."

"I went out and got us a dog," she grinned, leaning in and kissing him.

"She has no name, that's your job," she grinned, handing him the puppy as she greeted Addison and Mark, dragging their bags into the den that had a pullout couch. Addie and Mer gushed over med school, how much they loved what they were doing, and Mark and Derek were perplexed by the puppy. As the girls came back out to the main room, they found the boys on the floor playing with her.

"Did you figure out a name yet?" Mer asked teasingly, poking Derek with her toe.

"Her name is Luna Shepherd," he grinned, and Meredith plopped down next to him with a smile, leaning against him as Luna ran up to her with a ball, apparently a newly acquired skill.

"Well hello Miss Luna, welcome to our tiny family! I hope you like snow," she laughed, turning to give Derek a kiss.

* * *

By the 23rd, everyone was there, and Meredith loved her little house being so busy. It wasn't as roomy as the Shepherd homestead, but it fit everyone just the same, and it had two little kids running around it with Kathleen ready to pop. Abigail and Noel chased Luna everywhere, and the dogs endless energy had an outlet finally in the form of the two kids.

Meredith bustled around the house and kitchen, making sure everyone was satisfied and sated, helping make brunch for Christmas that would go into the fridge until Christmas morning. She was exhausted but she loved acting like a homemaker, cooking and cleaning the house for the family.

* * *

Christmas morning came, and Abigail and Noel woke up the entire house at 5. They wanted their presents from Santa, and Kathleen and Nancy apologized profusely for the disturbance. Meredith and Derek were used to early mornings, as were the rest of them, so they didn't mind one bit. It was adorable, watching the little kids tear into their presents and scream of joy at what they got. The adults were exchanging gifts after brunch.

Finally brunch was ready and the family gathered around the dining room table, passing food around and digging in. Meredith was starving and she was glad the meal came out great, considering she had made most of it. Her stomach was slightly queasy but she pushed the feeling aside; it was Christmas and she wanted to have fun.

Opening presents was crazy with so many people in a small space, but she didn't care, it was a fun experience, especially since their family was growing more and more each day. From the family they received more and more homewarming gifts, and from Derek she received another piece of jewelry; a pretty bracelet this year. She had gotten him a new watch in addition to Luna, and he drew her into his lap as the rest of the Shepherds opened their gifts.

"I love you," he whispered, breathing in the scent of her lavender shampoo and she smiled, laying her head on his shoulder. She still felt sick but felt comforted by his arms around her.

"I love you too, so much," she whispered, closing her eyes.

* * *

Meredith woke up in her bed; apparently she had fallen asleep in his arms and he had put her to bed. She still felt queasy, maybe it had been all the food she had eaten, and she stood up, temporarily getting dizzy as she made her way to the bathroom. Leaning over the toilet, a thought suddenly struck her as she counted backwards in her head. No, wait. The math had to be wrong. She was two weeks late for her period.

Biting her lip nervously, she sighed and peeked under the cabinet under the sink. There were two pregnancy tests there and just as she was reaching for one, she heard her name being called.

"Coming!" she said, standing up and splashing some cold water on her face. Fuck. She was never late, it was always on time. She couldn't have a baby, not now, not in her first year of med school. Sighing, she left the bathroom and came downstairs, throwing her negative energy into helping make dinner.

* * *

Dinner was good, very festive, with chatter and warmth all around the table. Meredith just wanted it to be over, she wanted to go crawl up to her bathroom again and take one of the pregnancy tests that were stashed under the sink. Luna ran around the table begging for food, yapping at all of them, and Meredith couldn't help but wonder if next year her own baby would be at the table with them.

Finally the last person finished dessert, and she helped clear the plates, the contents of her stomach sliding around. Lizzie and Amelia were on dish duty, with Addison and Nancy drying the plates and putting them back in the china cabinet, so Meredith found the perfect time to slip back into her bathroom.

Before she could do anything, her stomach rebelled and out came everything she'd eaten that day. She felt lousy and had to lay on the cool tiled floor for a few minutes, before she was able to reach for one of the tests under the sink. Following the instructions, she peed on it and set it on a tissue to wait the required 3 minutes.

Once three minutes were up, Meredith hesitated. She knew if it were positive, her life was going to change in a million ways. Kathleen had had a baby while doing her PHD and she'd been able to manage it. Nancy had had two kids during her internship and residency. Could she do it too? Grabbing the test, she flipped it over, her eyes wide.

* * *

 **So I'm evil and left you all with a cliffhanger! I really hope you like this chapter and I'll update as soon as I can!**


	32. A Heart Full Of Love

Meredith looked down at the test in her hands. Two lines. She wasn't a doctor but she was a med student; she wasn't stupid and didn't need to look at the box. She was pregnant. 22, going into her second semester of her first year of med school. Fuck. It was December, she was probably 5-6 weeks…she'd be due in August. She'd have to take time off to rest and stay home with the baby, which left her a semester behind at med school and a year behind on her internship.

Sinking to the floor, she burst into tears, the test still in her hand. She was still in her red velvet Christmas dress, black tights, and heels, leaning against the cabinet sink and crying, tears splashing on the skirt of her dress. She could hear someone in the bedroom but she didn't care. In the next moment there was a soft knock on the door.

"Mer? It's Liz," she heard quietly, and Mer quieted her sobs for a moment.

"Come in," she said quietly, looking down at her hands. Lizzie clacked in in her heels, looking at Meredith sobbing and the pregnancy test in her hands, before joining her on the soft rug that hugged the tile floor.

"Oh, Mer," she said, having found both Nancy and Kathleen in this state, Kathleen having been getting her masters for the first baby.

Meredith looked up and bawled even more, before leaning into her older sister.

"I know he's going to be happy Liz, I have no doubts about that. But I'm terrified. What if I end up like my mother? What if I shove the baby aside because of school? Mom is hours away, I can't ask her to uproot her life and come live with us. We're all alone up here, just me and Derek," she sobbed, hugging her knees, tugging her dress over her knees. Liz just pulled Meredith to her and held her until she cried herself out, her head in her lap as she fell asleep.

* * *

Hours later, Derek came looking for Meredith as the house settled down. The rest of the family had settled down with a movie and he couldn't find Lizzie and Mer. Finally he found them in the bathroom, Meredith curled up and asleep on Lizzie's lap, Liz running her hands through Meredith's long hair.

"Is she okay?" he asked out of concern. Liz was smart enough to have hidden the pregnancy test under a pile of tissues in the trashcan.

"She needs you right now, Der," was all she said, and Derek gave a weak smile as he sat down on the floor and the two of them switched places, moving her head into his lap, resuming the soft stroking of her hair.

"I don't know what's going on but I hope you're okay," he whispered down to his wife. She looked pale and withdrawn, tired and worn out.

* * *

It was an hour of sitting in the dark, playing a mindless game on his phone before Meredith stirred, rolling over onto her back and looking up at him.

"You aren't Liz," she said, looking confused, before her stomach rebelled. She was up in a flash, heaving into the toilet, glad her hair was braided back from earlier. Derek was up next, rubbing her back and neck whispering soothing words at her. Once she was done he handed her a wet washcloth to wipe down with and she sighed, sinking into the floor again.

"Are you okay?" he asked her, worriedly. She bit her lip and looked up, slipping her hand into the mass of tissues in the trashcan and grabbing the pregnancy test. She hadn't wanting to tell him, but she knew it was also the ultimate Christmas gift.

"I just found out, and I didn't want to tell you but I should tell you. So…" she said, unwrapping the test from the tissues and placing it on the bathroom rug between them. It took a moment for it to register in his mind as he looked at it, and then his eyes went wide, leaning forward and grabbing her in his arms.

"Oh my god, Mer, really? Are you really!?" he asked her, and she nodded enthusiastically with a smile.

"Really," she breathed, starting to smile. This wasn't a bad thing, this wasn't a death sentence. This was a baby, their baby. They'd known each other five years now, and been married a few months, and they were having a baby.

"I'll just have to take a semester off of school, and we'll have to get a nanny or something," she shuddered. She didn't want to be her mother.

"I'll take the semester off with you. We can both be home with the baby for a a few months and maybe my mother could come live with us so we don't have to get a nanny." He knew how she felt about nannies, having been raised by a string of them, and a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. She was still smiling despite how crapping she felt.

"Come on, lets get you out of your dress and makeup and into pajamas," he told her, as he helped her up. First she washed her face and brushed out her hair, before pulling on her yoga pants and her favorite Dartmouth shirt before they headed downstairs to the family, fingers entwined.

* * *

Second semester of med school was just as crazy as the first, if not more so. Meredith had the worst morning sickness wherever she went but hid her pregnancy and growing bump well.

On the weekends she and Derek had fun doing things, such as hiking in the frozen tundra of New Hampshire, camping, and just generally being adventurous before the baby came. Easter was in April that year and still, Lizzie was the only person that knew.

The day they climbed into the car to head down to New York, Mer was dressed in leggings and a loose top. Her bump was small since she was so tiny, but she was nervous anyway. The trip was four and a half hours and she fell asleep with growing Luna in her lap, her sweet puppy face resting on her mommy's baby bump.

It felt like no time at all before they were pulling up at the Shepherd house, and Meredith blinked her eyes open. It was a warm day late March and she climbed out of the car, letting Luna run around before she found the front door.

"Mom? Amelia? Is anyone home?" Derek called, as Meredith stepped in behind her. Her morning sickness was long gone and she was even due in four months; she felt horrible for keeping her pregnancy a secret this long. Carolyn rounded the corner from the kitchen and smiled at the pair, before she zeroed in on Meredith with a smirk.

"Meredith, dear, you are positively glowing." Meredith offered a smile and pushed her newly thicker hair away from her face as Carolyn touched her stomach gently.

"My you've got to be four or five months. How on earth did you two hide this from us for so long!" Meredith had to laugh a little bit.

"We found out Christmas night but didn't want to tell anyone then, and we wanted to tell people in person and that sort of just happened to be now…" she said, shrugging her shoulders lightly and blushing.

"Do you know what you're having?" Carolyn smiled, and Meredith smiled, touching the swell of her belly.

"It's a girl," she said proudly, as the baby kicked her hard, making her presence known.

"She's very active and she's due at the end of August,"

Carolyn smiled at Meredith, her blonde-brown hair hanging down her back, her round bump poking through her teal dress that clung to her bump. Amelia bounced down the stairs with a smile, freezing as she spotted Meredith.

"Oh my god you're pregnant!" she yelled, and that brought everyone running. Little kids underfoot, sisters crowding around her, and Meredith beaming in the center. Derek was being congratulated by boyfriends and brothers in law, glad Mark hadn't arrived yet. They celebrated quietly as a family, Nancy and Kathleen welcoming Meredith into the mothers club. Between them there were four girls and one boy now. Derek watched Meredith with his older sisters with a smile, she really did glow, her skin tan against her dress with her sandals, and at one moment she turned and caught his eye, green sparkling at his piercing blue eyes, and she smiled, knowing she wasn't sure she could get happier than this. Marriage, med school, puppies, and babies. Life was shooting ahead fast and they were running along with it.

* * *

 **Sorry it took me so long to write this! It's getting closer to my show so I'm having more rehearsals and I severely injured a tendon in my right leg. It probably would've been better if I snapped it since they could've repaired it, but I snapped the tib-fib tendon that wraps down your lower leg, ankle, and food, so I'm in quite a bit of pain but still dancing because I'm a masochist. I'm in a dance on pointe, and two dances barefoot, and then I have the entire summer off (but I'll be taking classes at a studio in the city) and ahhhh I'm already in three dances next semester. Basically, dancers dance through injuries ;) Anyway, hope you like the chapter and I'll update this and everything else ASAP!**


	33. Fearless

Meredith and Derek finished out the semester and spent the rest of their time preparing for the baby. They were taking a gap year, which Dartmouth was allowing, to spend time with their little girl. The nursery was painted in shades of purple with pretty purple butterflies on the bedding, and butterfly paintings on the wall. Meredith was satisfied with how the nursery turned out in their house in Hanover, and then they headed down to NYC to do the nursery there. They were going to have the baby in NYC, since it was so much closer to family, and they'd spend her first year there.

By July Meredith was ready for their unnamed daughter to be born. She wasn't due until mid-August but she was ready. The city was hot and Meredith hated the ride up to Westchester, so Carolyn and the girls came to them, helping around the house with anything Meredith couldn't do. By August first she was ready to pop, mostly laying on the couch and in bed, miserable in the heat.

* * *

On the night of August 9th, in the wee hours of the morning, Meredith got up to go to the bathroom and felt a rush of fluid down her legs.

"Um. Derek? Der? DEREK!" she yelled, turning around and shaking him hard from his slumber.

"What? What's wrong?"

She stood sheepishly in her oversized shirt of his.

"I think my water just broke," she blushed, looking down at the small puddle beneath her feet. He sprung out of bed at that and frantically got dressed as she stood there watching and she shook her head.

"I'm going to shower," she announced, stepping into the large shower and getting herself ready, shaving her legs and cleaning herself raw before stepping out. Her contractions weren't terrible, she could breathe through them as she got dressed in leggings and a t-shirt, remembering to grab her bag and the baby bag. The car seat was in the car already and they were ready to go. Derek grabbed her by the hand and smiled at her.

"We're going to have a baby," he smiled at her, leading her out of their apartment.

"Yes, that appears to be the case," she smirked as they headed downstairs and to his car. She sat in the passengers seat as they navigated traffic to NYU hospital, where Nancy was on staff. She wasn't allowed to be her attending since they were family, but she could dictate who would he her attending and Meredith would get the best of the best.

* * *

A few hours later, Meredith found herself groaning over the bed. She had elected to go natural, even though Nancy had been pushing her for an epidural several times.

"Come on, Mer, no one's going to fault you if you get you, I've had them with my kids and they're amazing." Meredith looked up and gave her a death glare; Derek was rubbing her lower back tenderly. He hated watching her go through pain but he knew the end result would be worth it.

"Well, whatever. You're about 5 centimeters dilated, and have five more to go. Just think about it, it would help." She said, before leaving the room. Meredith threw her empty cup that had been filled with ice at the closed door, before moaning into another long contraction, this one lasting at least 30 seconds. They were coming longer and faster, and closer together.

* * *

The next time she was checked she was at 9 centimeters, and the nurse was going to get the doctor, knowing it was time to push soon. Knowing they were both med students, Derek had been invited to watch the birth but he was content up at Meredith's head and then cutting the umbilical cord.

By the time the doctor arrived, Meredith was at 10 centimeters and she had the overwhelming urge to push.

"Okay Meredith, push, push as hard as you can until you feel like you can't anymore." Meredith started pushing, tears falling down her red cheeks.

"Good, good, I see her crowning, dad would you like to take a look?" Derek strayed from Meredith's side for a moment to see his daughter crowning and was in complete awe.

"Mer, her head is just right there!" he exclaimed, and Meredith looked up at him, glaring.

"Yeah, I can kind of feel it," she said through clenched teeth as she pushed harder, feeling the head come out and with another push, there was a sharp cry of their daughter. Meredith looked up at her as the baby was wrapped in a blanket and placed on her chest and she looked down in awe, tears streaming down her face.

"Hi baby girl, daddy and I have waited a long time for you," she whispered with a small smile, before looking up at Derek. He was enchanted by the small, tiny thing in his wifes arms, but in a moment the baby was taken away to be weighed, etc.

"What should we call her?" he asked her and she smiled slowly.

"Grace Adeline Shepherd," she said without a beat. Their daughter was returned to her arms and she beamed down at the baby, at her screaming red face and she grinned.

"Gracie as a nickname. I like that," Derek smiled.

Soon after they were allowed to have guests, and Amelia and Carolyn first. Amelia was enchanted by her new niece, with her dark hard and dark blue eyes.

"She's beautiful, I can't get over her," she breathed, and Meredith held her proudly, before passing her over. Amelia was 19 now, about to start her sophomore year at Harvard. Carolyn hovered over them both.

"She is definitely a Shepherd girl," she smiled, kissing Meredith on the forehead.

"You did well, Meredith." Meredith blushed deeply.

* * *

All the sisters and husbands and boyfriends visited, and it was late at night now. Grace was asleep, and Derek came back with Shake Shack for Meredith. He had a gift in tow, one he slid into her lap, in her favorite little blue box from Tiffany.

"Oh!" she exclaimed, knowing it was common for the husband to give his wife a gift when she gave birth to a baby. Inside was a gorgeous necklace with Grace's birthstone and her name engraved. She smiled and kissed him tenderly before looking over at their sleeping baby.

"How does it get better than this?" she asked him, her eyes filling with happy tears.

* * *

 **Sorry it took so long to update! I was in the hospital and now my show is next Saturday! I hope you guys like this chapter Los of fluffy fluff!**


	34. Reviews

**Ugh so reviews aren't showing up AGAIN. I can see you amazing people have sent in reviews but I can't read them and it's killing me! I have one more story to update but I don't want to update any more of them until reviews are showing again because I want to give you guys what you want in my chapters and not just ignore your opinions! THIS IS KILLING ME! I'll write an update for the ballet story (not that anyone really reads it) since it's next in line but ugh, I want to wait for reviews to show again! I really really want to see what you guys are saying! You can always message me things Goodbye for now!**

 **Also, follow me on twitter at merderinabar**


	35. Gold

Meredith Shepherd didn't think she had ever been so tired in her entire life. Once she and Derek had come home from the hospital with baby Grace their lives as they had known them had been completely disrupted. Luna kept running from Derek to Meredith wanting love, not knowing where the screams and cries were coming from. Meredith didn't remember when she had had a real nights sleep, and Derek had fallen asleep trying to change a diaper more than once. Carolyn was with them as much as she could, especially now that Amelia was back at Harvard and Nancy stopped by as well seeing as how she lived in the city as well, but at age 23, Meredith was exhausted.

"Everyone warned us not to have kids in med school," she smiled one night, Grace feeding very happily as she and Derek snuggled together on the couch. Luna sat next to Derek and Meredith smiled warmly. They had their tiny little family, with tiny, perfect Gracie. She was a small baby, born 6 pounds 12 ounces, 19 inches long, and Meredith loved when she balled her hands into fists and made her tiny little meowing sound that alarmed Luna so much. But Gracie was perfect and beautiful; she had a head of dark brown hair and dark blue eyes that Meredith knew would stay that way. She couldn't get over how perfect their baby was, and it marveled her every time she held her or even gazed down at her in the bassinet that stood against a wall in their spacious bedroom. She was the mother of a baby, a person that was all hers, something she and Derek had made. Ask her five years ago where she thought she would be with her life and it definitely would not have been here, living in New York, married, a med student, with a brand new baby relying on her for everything. It was humbling, she thought.

* * *

One day in September, Meredith received a call from the devil herself, Ellis.

"Meredith, dear, I talked to Addison's mother the other day and she told me you had a baby. Why didn't you tell me I had a grandchild?" she asked, her voice sickeningly sweet. Meredith was glad that Grace was asleep in her swing because she felt the need to punch something.

"Because, mother, it's not like we have the best relationship or ever actually talk," she said matter of factly, cradling her iphone between her shoulder and ear as she folded laundry and kept an eye on Gracie. Mark was in town and Derek had escaped to see him; Addison had been by and was out with Lizzie at the moment leaving Meredith on her own for once.

"Well I'm in town and I'd like to come by to see my granddaughter," Ellis said, and Meredith sucked in a breath. She wouldn't keep her daughter from her grandmother, but she hated Ellis and resented her for so much in her life.

"Great. Would you like to come over for dinner? Derek is a wiz in the kitchen, he's amazing," she smiled, looking down at the tiny pink onesie in her hands, one that Gracie had already almost grown out of.

"Sure, I'll come by at 7." Meredith rolled her eyes. Of course it was on her mothers time and not theirs, but whatever. She made a mental note to shower and put on something nice, and remind Derek to grab something good for dinner and with that she smiled.

"Bye, mom, I'll see you at 7," she said, hanging up the phone and looking around the messy apartment before going into OCD mode and cleaning the entire place.

* * *

Meredith went into crazy cleaning mode while Grace slept, having texted Derek to pick up food for the three adults. She was nervous about her mother meeting their daughter, wondering if she would get bitched out for having a baby after her first year in med school and then taking a year off.

Finally, Derek came home and they set the table, keeping the food warm on the stove. It wasn't long after that that the buzzer rang for their apartment, and Derek buzzed Ellis in. Meredith took a look at herself in the stove; she wore a red dress and was barefoot, her hair hanging down her back, still thick from the pregnancy hormones. When the knock came at the door, she went and answered it, taking a deep breath.

"Mom, hi," she breathed. Ellis looked impeccable in a black skirt and blazer combo with a pink button up shirt, her hair pulled back in a bun.

"Meredith, dear, you're still glowing," she said, and Meredith was wondering when the insults would come. Ellis went over to Derek and hugged him, before presenting Meredith with a gift bag. Meredith was curious and she dug through it. Inside were all sorts of clothes and toys for a newborn, and at the bottom were some things Meredith knew were her own. She raised an eyebrow as the three of them sat down on the couch.

"I wasn't aware you were so sentimental," she said dryly, as she reached for the blanket the had been hers when she came home from the hospital, and a well-worm lamb that she remembered calling Fleecy.

"Well, I dug through your baby things in the attic and thought you might want some of them for her…for Grace." Meredith was touched, but she was still waiting for the other shoe to drop. She watched as Grace stirred in the swing and she stood up to get her, bundling her up in the soft blanket and cradling her in her arms.

"Would you like to hold her?" she asked Ellis, and she looked unsure. Sure she was a surgeon, she did surgery on babies, but this wasn't just any baby, this was her granddaughter, this was Meredith's daughter. She knew she had royally fucked up when raising Meredith, but she didn't want to screw up this tiny, brand new baby.

"I…um…sure," she said as she gazed at the baby. Besides the hair, she was all Grey. She had Meredith's soft features and skin tone, and as Meredith passed her the baby she felt a wave of relief wash of her. She gently cradled her and her heart melted. She was a grandmother to this beautiful baby girl in her arms, a beautiful baby untouched by sadness or defeat, by screaming and yelling parents, by her mother's terrible upbringing.

"She's beautiful, Meredith," she said, looking up at her own daughter. Meredith smiled, tears in her eyes as she looked happily upon the scene she was witnessing, one that she never thought she would see simply because Ellis was so caught up in herself and surgery.

"Thank you," she said, choked up while Derek took photos. She then sat down next to Ellis as Derek continued taking photos – three generations of Grey's and Shepherds, she thought, happy beyond belief that this was happening. She even went as far as to slide an arm around her mother's shoulders and hug her briefly.

"I'm proud of you, Meredith Grey," Ellis said, and that was all it took for tears to start running down her face.

* * *

The next morning, Meredith woke up not to a screaming baby but to a banging on her apartment door. She groggily got out of bed, dressed in shorts and a t-shirt, peering through the peephole and noticing it was Addison. What was she doing here at 6:30 am!?

"Addie?" she said her, rubbing sleep out of her eyes as her best friend rushed into her living room, holding out her left hand.

"He proposed! Last night! That's what he and Derek were doing all day yesterday – looking for rings. Oh my gosh! I'm marrying Mark!" she squealed, and Meredith laughed as they fell onto the couch. The ring was huge, almost rivaling Meredith's engagement ring, and she couldn't stop giggling and shrieking as she hugged Addison tightly.

"Did you ever believe we'd end up married to the guys across the hall?" Addie laughed and Meredith laughed, shaking her head.

"I married him and I've had his first child," she smirked, getting up and starting a pot of coffee for the two of them. Addison just shook her head and laughed at the two of them. It had been five years by now; five years of laughter and tears and weddings and babies and just plain insanity and Meredith wouldn't have it any other way.

"Now you get to join the married club with me, we meet Friday nights and drink three bottles of wine," she teased, hearing Grace crying but knowing Derek could grab her this time. Addison and Mark's engagement was much more important.

"Do you know when or where yet?" she asked her, pouring two cups of coffee for them, fixing them up with cream and sugar. Addison shrugged.

"Connecticut probably. Next summer on break from school. And of course you're my maid of honor." Meredith couldn't help but laugh. Of course she was. Addison had five Shepherd sisters and she chose Meredith of all of them.

"Yeah but you have to have all the sisters too because we love them even when we hate them,  
she teased her, the two of them drifting off into wedding talk as they drank their coffee. It would be a full year, with Grace growing up and planning a wedding, but Meredith was excited for it all.

* * *

 **So Ellis took the baby well! I didn't set out writing and expecting her to but it went well. And Addison and Mark are engaged! And don't worry guys, even if it takes me up to a week to update, I'M NOT GIVING UP ANY OF THE FOUR STORIES, but I don't like being told or begged to update. I have a busy life - it's the end of the semester, my show is on Saturday, and I'm injured, so I'm extremely stressed right now. Stories will be updated when I have time right now, but after May 6th they'll be updated a lot more often. Promise :)**


	36. We Are Young

Meredith was grateful for Addison the week she and Mark were in NYC; Addison was constantly at the apartment wanting to be with Grace, leaving Meredith time to nap and do things around the apartment that never would've gotten done. For once the apartment was in perfect order, clothes were washed, and food was made for the four of them, and they could be adults again while Grace slept snugly in her swing, blankets tucked around her. This September was cooler and rainier than Meredith had remembered, or maybe she was just used to New Hampshire and it getting cold in July and snuggling up in blankets with Derek.

Addison couldn't put Grace down and Meredith smiled at her, knowing she'd make a great mother. Carolyn visited every day, helping her out and gearing Addison up for the life of a Sloan by telling her stories about Mark from when he was young. Meredith and Addison could only laugh at the stories; Mark and Derek were usually out in the city doing god knows what but Meredith was content to be at home with her mother in law, best friend, and daughter.

* * *

Thanksgiving came soon enough, and again Meredith and Derek hosted it at their spacious apartment. This year Meredith had invited her mother, and to her surprise Ellis accepted. Meredith was shocked; surely Mass Gen couldn't run without her, but Thanksgiving morning she arrived around ten, just after Amelia had bounced in with her boyfriend James and as Meredith was popping part of brunch in the oven.

"Mom…hi…" she said awkwardly, as Ellis stepped inside the neatly cleaned apartment. Grace was in the bassinet in their room napping, Derek was doing god knew what to the turkey, Mark was getting to know Amelia's boyfriend, and Addison was in charge of making mimosa's. The rest of the Shepherds were due any moment.

"Hello dear," Ellis said, kissing her on both cheeks and walking into the apartment. Meredith stared at Addison, wondering what alien had taken over her mothers body. Even Derek turned around and gave her a stare and she shrugged her shoulders. "Come on mom, sit on the couch, Derek's mom and sisters should be here soon. Well, Amelia is here. Amelia, this is my mom," she said, and Amelia looked up with wide eyes.

"Hi, Dr. Grey, big fan," she said, stumbling over her words, before moving past her into the kitchen, her long black curls bouncing with each step.

"Meredith, Ellis Grey is in the living room," she whispered, wrinkling her nose.

"Yeah, I know, she's my mother," she stated, raising a brow. Amelia sighed.

"Mer, you know I worship her. She's like, the Queen of medicine," she pointed out, and Meredith began to laugh.

"Amelia, you know she's my mom. And yeah, she's kind of an amazing doctor. Parent, not so much. You know I lived with you and your mom forever because my mom sucks," she shrugged, sipping on a cup of coffee. Amelia rolled her eyes.

"If I was Ellis Grey's daughter I'd be sooo different from you," she teased, and Meredith rolled her eyes right back.

"You say that because you aren't Ellis Grey's daughter, idiot, she laughed, grabbing a pan of some special French toast Derek had made and popping it into the oven. She could see Grace stirring on the baby monitor and a moment later she heard her crying, so she quickly washed her hands and waltzed into the bedroom, looking down at her daughter. She had grown so much just since August and she scooped up the three month old In her arms, patting her on the back to soothe her.

"Oooh it's okay, mommy's here, and so are a lot of other people who are keen on seeing you, angel," she smiled, laying her down so she could change her diaper. Luckily there wasn't a mess and soon enough the diaper situation was taken care of and Meredith had changed her into a cute little onesie that said "My first Thanksgiving" because she and Derek were **those** parents. Holding her against her chest she walked out to the main rooms with her. Amelia looked up at the sight, going gooey-eyed and melting at the sight of her youngest niece. Meredith laughed and passed Grace, along with a blanket and a burp cloth over to her.

"Someday you're going to make a really great mother. Meanwhile Addison is going to be too busy drinking mimosas," she teased Addie, who was sitting on the couch talking to Ellis. It was nice, though, having her mother here and actually be part of her family, even though it had taken 23 years.

Soon the rest of the Shepherds started dwindling in with their families, or in Lizzie's case, fiancée, and eventually brunch got started, with everyone filling Meredith and Derek's huge dining room table with Gracie between Meredith and Derek in a rock and play at the corner of the table. For the first time in her life Meredith felt like her family was complete, especially with her mother sitting to her right, talking to Carolyn about all of their now adult children and their various places in school.

* * *

After brunch, Derek and the rest of the men offered to clean up, and Meredith headed into the bedroom to feed Grace, the sisters following her. It didn't really bother her as she flopped into Grace's rocker, Gracie gently nudging onto her breast and suckling, the sisters gathering around her. At one point or another over the last 5 years, they'd all seen each other naked and it didn't phase her, especially after communal bathrooms at Yale. Nancy was the first to bite.

"So? How do you feel being a mother?" she said from her position, leaning against the crib that Gracie had yet to use – she was still in the bassinet in her and Derek's bedroom, but she was quickly outgrowing that.

"It's…the best feeling in the world. I always thought loving Derek was the best feeling, but then this tiny little person came into my life and I can't give her enough love. Neither of us can. But it's different than loving Derek; I love him just the same, but Grace is different. I would do anything and everything for her. I made her, we made her, and no one else can take credit for that," she smiled, her fingers smoothing down Gracie's dark Shepherd hair. The sister's collectively 'awwww'd' as they watched the tiny baby in Meredith's arms, and Meredith giggled as she watched her fall asleep. She was the sweetest baby she could ask for; she was good, she only cried when she needed something, and she was a good sleeper. She had rolled over at about one and a half months and now she just did it to show off, but only when she wanted to.

"I just feel blessed," she said with a smile, gazing down at Grace, asleep in her arms.

* * *

Hours later, and many women in the kitchen, Thanksgiving dinner was ready. Grace was napping again, this time trying out her crib, and everyone crowded around the table. Derek had said that everyone had to go around the table and say something they were thankful for, and when it got to Meredith she giggled.

"Totally cliché but I'm thankful for my family," she smiled, before looking up at Derek, who kissed her on the forehead. They said a short prayer before digging in, Ellis on Meredith's right again, next to Carolyn as well.

Dinner was a success, as was the three pies Meredith had managed to make, and once again the men cleared the dishes and packed up the leftovers. Meredith found herself standing at the doors to one of the balconies, staring out at the sun setting over the city, feeling content with herself and her life when she felt someone touch her shoulder. Turning, she smiled lightly when she found it was Ellis.

"Meredith, darling," she said, and Meredith took a breath. She was either in for a lecture, or they were going to have a talk that would either end good or bad.

"Mom," she said lightly, sipping on her glass of merlot.

"You've made quite the life for yourself," she said, and Meredith nodded slightly, not sure where this was going.

"I have, yes. I think. Is that good or bad?" she exhaled. She was 23, she was taking a gap year between her first and second years in med school, and she had a three month old daughter. She was surrounded by people who loved her day in and day out, who would do anything for her should she need it.

"It's good, it's…very good. You have it all. I was your age when you were born, and I didn't take to it very well, and I'm sorry for that, for what I put you through all those years, that I wasn't a good enough mother to you. I see you with Grace and you're what I wanted to be, but didn't know how. The difference is you're driven in both ways. You want the professional life, but you want the personal life. And you have it, Meredith. You have it all. And don't let go of it," she said, squeezing her arm. Meredith smiled sympathetically, before wrapping her arms around Ellis.

"Thanks, mom," she said, knowing that her words would never be able to make up for her shitty childhood, but knowing her mother had regrets – it mattered to Meredith.

* * *

Later that night, after everyone had cleared out, Meredith was exhausted. She had Grace in bed with her when Derek came in the room and smiled, climbing into his side of the bed.

"Look at my two favorite girls," he smiled, kissing Grace on the cheek before leaning over and kissing Meredith. He settled down in his pillows and gazed at both of them, Grace and Meredith, wondering how he had gotten so lucky, thinking back to that day over five years ago when Meredith had flat out run into him in the quad, green eyes wide and taking everything in. He laughed out loud and Meredith looked up for a moment.

"What's so funny?" she smiled, not wanting to pick up her head.

"Just thinking back to the day we met. I never thought we'd end up here." Meredith had to laugh at that and shake her head.

"You were just the boy across the hall."

"And you were just the girl across the hall."

"And your name is Meredith Shepherd and we have a child," he smiled, as she smiled happily.

"That is is, she yawned, closing her eyes and reaching across the bed for his hand. She would forever be the girl across the hall.

* * *

 **So I got tired of Meredith being at odds with Ellis, plus she's growing older. I know it's out of character but I like the idea of it since she's growing older. If you don't like it, say it with me: character development. Meredith is growing older and she's no longer a teenager and therefore is now able to understand things with her mother a lot more. It's really just as simple as that and it's nice writing Ellis as a nice person. She's not a great mother but she's trying as a grandmother! Anyway, if you want to throw me ideas, give me some in reviews! I know where this is going but ideas are always great :)**


	37. Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

The weeks melded together with Grace in their lives. She was growing every day, learning something new and delighting Meredith and Derek. Christmas was coming up and Meredith couldn't help but spoiling her little Bug for her first Christmas. Every day either she or Derek came back with a different toy, and by the time the 20th of December came around they realized they had way too many toys for a four and a half month old's first Christmas.

"Derek, she's the most spoiled baby ever," Meredith had to admit as she looked at the growing pile of gifts in one of the spare bedrooms, laughing as she shook her head. He slipped his arms around her from behind and laughed, pressing kisses down her neck.

"And what's your point? She deserves to be spoiled, have you seen how awesome she is? Four and a half months old and she's perfect," he grinned as they peeked into her room, making sure she was asleep. After Thanksgiving she had started to sleep in her crib, and the pair had started getting a little more sleep. She slept through the night now, sleeping from 730-630, when she woke up and Meredith spent 45 minutes nursing her and bonding with her. Mer lived for this moments, rocking her back and forth and talking quietly with her baby girl, loving the quiet time, but she knew Derek felt left out of it, so she'd started feeding her bottles with her lunch so that Derek could have bonding time as well.

Solid foods were new too, as were finding which solid foods Gracie liked. She was good and liked most things, but some things she hated. Meal times were always fun, trying to figure out what she liked and hated, but Meredith just loved everything about being a mom. She had taken on the role head-on, despite the fact that she missed being in med school and wouldn't be back until January.

* * *

Christmas Eve came and again, the Shepherds came to Meredith and Derek's apartment. The family had drinks and dinner and just hung around, watching the snowfall in three different views from the corner apartment on Central Park West. Nancy and Kathleen's kids ran around and had fun, with Gracie being passed around to all the aunts and uncles.

Meredith had invited Ellis over, but she had to work. It stung more than it should have; she'd had to work her entire life. However, Ellis told her that maybe she could make an appearance at Carolyn's on Christmas day, which made Meredith smile slightly.

Meredith didn't remember much; Nancy and Kathleen went back to Carolyn's with her, their husbands and the kids, while Lizzie and Amelia stayed with her and Derek that night, they ended up doing shots and having deep conversations about life. Amelia happened to be the darkest of them all.

"Sometimes I feel so lost in myself and my mind I feel helpless," she said, after ten shots of tequila. It alarmed her to a point, but she too was so drunk she didn't really know what to say but reach over and hug her tightly and drink more tequila.

"I love you, Mia," she said, the two girls enveloped in each other.

* * *

Christmas day arrived too early; it was 530 AM and Grace was screaming. Fumbling with the baby monitor, Meredith crashed out of bed groaning.

"I can get her," Derek said, and for once Meredith relented.

"There's milk in bottles in the fridge, grab her and soothe her and heat it until it's warm, not hot, and rock her until she calms," she mumbled, holding her aching head as she settled back into the covers. She couldn't go back to sleep though, and she wrapped herself in a blanket and stood in the doorway to the nursery, smiling at Derek and Grace. It was still dark and Lizzie and Amelia were still asleep in guest rooms, but these were the moments she lived for. After a moment she headed into the room and sat down at Derek's feet, letting her head rest against the soft fabric of the rocker.

"Can you picture our lives any different than this?" she said sleepily. Getting pregnant had certainly thrown a wrench in things, but at this point Meredith couldn't imagine anything else. Grace had come screaming into the world and Meredith had latched onto her from the second she was placed on her chest, assuming the role of mommy and never looking back. She missed med school, but she knew things could wait – life was happening around her and she couldn't be happier. For now, her eyes were falling shut as Derek hummed a lullaby, both Meredith and Grace falling back to sleep.

* * *

Hours later, Meredith woke up in bed again, feeling better than she had earlier. She could smell breakfast cooking in the kitchen and she got out of bed, following the scent. Amelia was hanging her head and Lizzie was smirking, drinking orange juice and rubbing her baby sister on the back. Meredith gravitated towards the coffee before sitting down at the table, Derek sliding a plate heaped with eggs, sausage, and bacon in front of her.

"Mmm, Merry Christmas," she smiled at him, digging into her breakfast knowing she had to get ready fast – all of them did if they were going to make it to Carolyn's. Once she was done she washed her dishes before hopping in the shower, getting ready as fast as she could. She found a pair of leggings and paired it with a sweater – basically these days, anything that was clean and matched, she would wear. Leaving her hair down, she headed into the nursery and found Grace awayke in her crib.

"Well hello miss, Merry Christmas to you," she smiled, kissing her on the nose as she changed her diaper and dressed her in a red velvet dress with white tights that had ruffles on the butt. She looked adorable and as she brought her into the main rooms, Derek snapped a picture of the two of them.

"My girls look beautiful," he grinned, kissing both of them as he got the diaper bag ready with more diapers and a few bottles of milk, just in case. Lizzie and Amelia rushed into the living room, Amelia braiding her wet hair back, but both sisters were dressed and ready. Finally the five of them headed down to the car and left for Westchester.

* * *

The car ride was uneventful, and upon arriving they all spilled out of the car and into the Shepherd house.

"We're here!" Meredith called out, rounding the corner with Grace in her car seat…to find Ellis on the couch with a glass of wine, talking to Nancy. Her heart skipped a beat.

"Mom!" she shouted, without meaning to her. Nancy looked up and Meredith blushed, setting the car seat down. Grace was napping peacefully, having been lulled to sleep by the car and Meredith took her coat off, stepping back into the hall to hang it up. She hadn't expected her mother to be here for Christmas; after 23 years she had stopped wishing. But here she was in the Shepherd house with her sister in law talking surgical techniques. Carolyn came up behind her with a smile.

"Merry Christmas, Meredith! We wanted to surprise you," she smiled, and Meredith's smile grew wider.

"Well you certainly did. Speaking of surprises, where's tweedle dee and tweedle dum?" she giggled, referring to Addison and Mark.

"Upstairs," she smirked, and Meredith ran upstairs, knocking on Mark's door.

"Come in!" he yelled, and Meredith pushed the door open before stepping inside.

"Oh if it isn't our favorite new momma, how are you?" Addison squealed, clamboring over the bed to grab Meredith. She laughed and shook her head.

"Exhausted, I fall asleep in random places, wake up in random places, wake up covered in spit up. The usual." She shrugged, sitting on the edge of Marks bed.

"Did I tell you?" Addison grinned, looking up at her.

"Tell me what?" Meredith asked, yawning.

"I know we shouldn't, but I think I've decided to go into OB/GYN with a concentration in neonatal surgery," she said proudly. Meredith smiled and shrugged her shoulders.

"Derek and I knew in undergrad we wanted to do Neuro," she smiled, pushing back her hair, watching Mark throw a ball and catch it.

"It's just a matter of waiting and waiting through your internship and residency to get to your fellowship to specialize in everything. The waiting game sucks," she sighed, leaning her head back and closing her eyes, knowing Grace was in good hands downstairs.

* * *

She didn't remember falling asleep, but she was being woken up by Addison and it was a few hours later.

"Shit shit I fell asleep, is Grace okay?" she said, looking up to see Addison holding Grace, who was gurgling and kicking her feet.

"Oh she's fine, she's perfect, she's so gorgeous Mer, I wish we weren't on the west coast and we could see her more," Addie pouted, and Meredith got up from the bed, smiling.

"Yeah, but she's going to be your perfect flower girl along with Nancy and Kate's girls," Mer grinned, hearing Nancy yelling up the stairs that it was time to open presents.

"Come on," she smiled, taking Grace from Addison as they hurried downstairs; Mark had abandoned them seemingly when Meredith had fallen asleep.

* * *

Opening presents was insane, with the kids just tearing into everything, so the adults decided to do the same thing, leaving hugs and thank you for last. Meredith sat between Derek's legs, with Gracie between her legs, 'helping' her open everything, but of course the baby was just interested in laying with the wrapping paper and not her new toys, which made Meredith laugh. Dinner came soon after present opening, and at the table with Grace in her lap, Meredith couldn't stop laughing. Six kids and everyone was eyeing Lizzie, who was engaged, as well as Addison, to have the next child.

"I'm going back to med school at the end of January, I'm not having another for awhile," Meredith smirked as she sipped on a glass of wine, Grace trying to grab the delicate glass.

"No no, not for you," she chided, pressing a kiss to the top of her head with a smile. She always said that each Christmas was her favorite, but really, the older she got the better they got. Ellis sat across the table from her, watching her Meredith with her daughter and she couldn't help but feel sad, wishing she had taken the time to be a mother to Meredith, but at the same time she knew Meredith wouldn't have grown up to be the person she was today if circumstances had been different.

* * *

Later that night, driving back into the city with Addison and Mark, they were all babbling on about what a good Christmas it had been, and Meredith was giggling about Addison and Mark having to flank Gracie's car seat.

"So Mer, what's going on with you and your mom? Is she actually a part of your life now?" Addison asked, and Meredith rolled her eyes slightly.

"I have no idea. She does what she wants, she comes to what she wants. I leave an open invitation for her and if she's not swamped she shows up," she shrugged.

"I think she sees me with Grace and realizes she was a shit mother and realizes she can't change that even if she wants to. I turned out okay. I think. I mean besides the obvious mommy issues, and daddy issues, and tequila issues," she smirked, quirking her eyebrow in one of the mirrors in the car.

"Pro tip, Addie – stop drinking tequila when you have a kid. 6:30 am comes too soon," she giggled, reaching out to grab Derek's hand. They stayed that way the rest of the way back to their apartment and up the elevator, Derek carrying Grace's car seat. Meredith was right, though – Christmas got better and better every year.

* * *

 **Sorry for taking so long to update! BUT I'm finally finished classes ;) Just two finals on Friday and then I'm free all summer! Hope you like this one, it took me a few days to write and I personally love it! I love all of you that read and review, whether you've been following from the beginning or just jumped in. You make me want to write more and more all the time! 3 Thank you to all of you.**


	38. You Are My Sunshine

Going back to school was one of the hardest things Meredith had to do. She wanted to spend all her days with Grace but she knew it wasn't feasible anymore; Grace was 5 months old and coming into her own and Meredith had med school to conquer. Sighing as she woke up at 6 am, she spent her sweet time with Grace in the nursery, quietly nursing her and spending as much time with her as she possibly could before she and Derek had to leave for class.

Throwing on leggings and a sweater she pulled up her hair in a ponytail, pouring herself a huge mug of coffee and stirring in her usual cream and sugar and Derek got ready in the bedroom. Carolyn had moved in for spring semester and was more than happy to spend her days with her youngest granddaughter. It broke Meredith's heart to spend her days away from Grace, but she knew in three years when she was a doctor it will have been worth it. She just hated it now as she rushed around the house, tossing her textbooks into her messenger bag and eating a granola bar, pouting at Gracie's sweet baby face.

"Hey princess," she smiled as she shrugged into her heavy coat and scarf, Carolyn holding her out to Mer, who all too eagerly took her.

"You're going to spend today with Nana. You're gonna spend all your weeks with Nana, and mama and daddy will be home for dinner, okay? And it's because we're going to be kick ass surgeons someday like your aunts," she smiled, cradling her daughter and hugging her close before passing her back to Carolyn. Derek was grabbing his coat and tugging Meredith away now.

"Mer, come on, we knew this was coming," he said softly, and Meredith pouted as they walked out the front door into the freezing cold.

* * *

Class was class; it was challenging but not too crazy, and the pair were back home by 3 PM. Grace was napping but Carolyn had cleaned and Meredith gratefully hugged her as she flopped into the desk chair and started homework for Wednesday – they had Fridays off luckily.

"Was she good? Did she cry a lot?" Meredith asked, a naturally worried mom, and Carolyn laughed.

"She was perfect, Meredith. She's a good baby, she's charming and rarely cries," she smiled, and a calm feeling washed over her as she peeked at the baby monitor. Grace was sound asleep in her crib, the mobile still playing over her head and she had to look away, getting deep into her classwork for the night. She only stopped with the complicated work when Carolyn announced it was dinner and she came up for air.

Dinner was spaghetti, something easy to make when chasing after a baby all day, and after her own long day, Meredith scooped her up from the high chair to give her a bath, all smiles.

"Hey baby girl, I missed you all day," she cooed as Grace splashed in the water, Meredith gently washing her. She had missed her while she was in her classes and wished it could be different, but she was already a semester behind and now would be a year behind with her internship. Addison and Mark had promised her and Derek they'd stay behind a year and wait for them, which she loved. She loved their best friends to death. Hearing footsteps in the hall, she looked up to see Derek standing in the doorway and she smiled, lifting Grace out of the bath and wrapping her in a soft towel and drying her off.

"You want daddy to get you dressed?" she smiled, passing her off to Derek who looked happy beyond belief. She knew how happy he was to be a dad and how much he loved Grace. He carried her off to her nursery, still wrapped in her towel, gently drying her black curls on the way.

"Hey princess, I missed you all day," he cooed, as Meredith slowly gravitated towards the nursery. On the way she stopped in their bedroom, changing into black yogas and her favorite Dartmouth shirt before heading into the nursery. Grace was dressed in a fuzzy pink sleeper covered in lambs, a smile on her face as Derek snuggled her close. She really was the happiest baby ever, rival to Nancy's kids.

Taking her from Derek she sunk into the rocker to feed her, Derek falling into place at her feet with Luna crawling onto his lap, Meredith letting her head fall back as Grace fed herself to sleep. She didn't realize it but she fell asleep too, letting the weight of the baby in her arms drift her off to sleep, Derek and Luna falling asleep at her feet. Carolyn snuck in and took a picture of the tired family, before gently waking them up.

"Mer, get in bed, I'll tuck her in her crib," she said, and Meredith stretching lightly, shaking Derek lightly.

"Der, come on," she said, as he stood up and scooped her up in his arms, kissing her forehead lightly as they peeked in on Grace.

"She's perfect," Meredith whispered for the 1000th time as he carried her to bed, laying her down among the pillows and fluffy blankets. She grabbed a pillow and curled herself around it as Derek pulled her close, turning off the light.

* * *

The semester was hard and at times Meredith wanted to give up – she was lucky she had both Derek and Carolyn there for her, and Grace for when she needed to play with someone and smile. Every day was different with Grace and she was growing like crazy. By June, when school was over and they were packing up to move back down to NYC for the summer, Grace was standing on her own and moving around the furniture, getting into everything.

"Looks like somebody has to baby-proof the apartment," Carolyn teased Meredith as she packed up a box of clothes Grace had grown out of. Sighing, she looked down at her daughter, who wasn't so tiny anymore, with a smile.

"Hmmm, you think, Gracie-bug?" she grinned, Grace showing her toothy grin and waving her hand in the air. Derek came back in the house from loading some things in one of the cars and scooped up his daughter, her laughter echoing against the walls of the living room as Meredith continued to sort through what clothes to leave behind and what to bring with them for the summer. She would be one soon and was growing like crazy.

"Dada!" she squealed out, yanking fistfuls of Derek's hair and Meredith couldn't help but laugh as Derek pried his hair out of his daughters tiny fists, laughing along with her.

"She might be small but she has a really strong grip," he laughed, flipping her upside down for a moment before bringing her back into his arms as she squealed again. Meredith finished her task and grabbed the clothes she still fit in, packing them into a suitcase before closing it and putting it by the door before moving to Derek.

"You ready for a summer in the city with Mark and Addie?" she smiled. She was more than ready to have time with Addison and let Amelia or Lizzie watch Grace. She felt guilty, wanting to spend time with her friends and sisters, but she factored in the late nights she'd spent with her schoolwork, the snow days she'd spend with Grace, and all the weekends she'd spend with her, and concluded she needed time with actual adults her age. Amelia was going into her junior year at Harvard and was turning 21 in the fall, and suddenly it struck her that she had been a member of this family for seven years. As she dragged her own things out of the bedroom she must've looked dazed, because Derek caught her by the arm.

"Are you okay?" he asked, watching Grace crawl around the room and tug on Luna, who, to her credit, was no longer phased by her, the two having grown up together.

"It just hit me that I've been part of your family for seven years," she said. She had been a lost teenager of eighteen, and now she was an adult of 25, her birthday having just passed a few weeks ago. He couldn't help but smile and pull her close, dropping a kiss on her mouth.

"And my life has been a million times better for those seven years," he promised her, snaking an arm around her waist and pulling her closer. Carolyn had already left for New York, which left just their tiny little family with a few more things to put in the car and a long drive into the city.

"And mine as well," she grinned, locking him in another kiss before she went to grab Grace.

"Come on sweetie, we're getting in the car. I get you and daddy gets Luna," she smirked, setting the baby on her hip. She was dressed simply, in a clingy navy dress, looking like she'd never had a baby in the first place, and it made Derek smile. She looked just like the girl he'd met that August day – fresh and carefree – but Grace on her hip rounded out the look. She caught him staring at her and she tilted her head.

"What?" she asked, tearing Grace's hands away from her hair and plopping a kiss on her forehead.

"Nothing. You're just the most beautiful woman in the entire world," he smiled, watching her blush as she grabbed her car keys and headed outside into the sunshine.

"Liar," she smirked, green eyes shining as her and Grace's giggles mixed together.

* * *

 **So this chapter had a lot of Grace in it and I'd like feedback on that! Do we want a lot of Grace mixed in with MerDer or do we want more MerDer and less Grace? Let me know because I can absolutely accommodate everything!**

 **Woohoo, school's out! Dean's list for me :P Hope everyone who's out of school already did great! I got a new computer which is so so so much faster which means faster updates because Word for Mac isn't freezing all the time! Love the new computer.**

 **I don't go back to school full time until August 31st so I'll be updating frequently all summer! My goal is to get every story to 100 chapters by then but I don't think I'll be able to haha. Anyway read and review please!**


	39. She Reminds Me of You

Summer in the city wasn't exactly summer in the city; Addison surprised her and Derek by dragging them out to her parent's massive beachfront Southampton estate.

"Come on, Gracie will have fun on the beach and when she goes to sleep we can get drunk and plan the wedding and relive college!" Addison insisted as Meredith sprawled herself on her bed in her apartment in New York. Addie and Mark had just recently gotten their own place a few blocks away much to everyone's excitement. Addie was thrilled that she got to see her niece more often and Meredith was excited that she got to see her best friend more often, and they were both excited they got to plan the wedding together, which was next summer.

"Yeah but do we really feel like spending it at the spoils of your parents' divorce?" Meredith teased her. Addison rolled her eyes – the captain and Bizzy had divorced over the past year and while Addison wasn't bothered by it – she was a well-adjusted adult thank you very much.

"Oh come on, more than ever my parents are desperate to show me how much they love me with money, and Archer is golden boy as it is and they're all 'proud' of me or whatever,' she said, picking up one of Grace's dresses that needed to be folded out of a laundry basket.

"Oooh ouch, I wish Mommy Ellis was proud of me like that. She's proud of me for Gracie, and sometimes I think she's proud of me for med school, but then she takes it back," Meredith laughed, her hands on her stomach. Derek and Mark had taken Grace out to play in Central Park, leaving the girls by themselves for an hour or two.

"I think she's proud of you, in her own, twisted, Ellis Grey sort of way," Addison came up with, before glancing at Meredith who was shaking her head and laughing.

"Well she comes to Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter. She doesn't come for mine or Derek's birthday. Let's see if she comes for Gracie's," she laughed, reaching for the laundry basket and beginning to sort everything. Addison slid into place next to her to help, cooing over the baby clothes.

"I want one," she said, running her hands over a pretty little smocked dress Grace had worn on Mer's 24th birthday. Meredith looked up with a small smile, passing the dress into a pile that was now too small for her steadily growing daughter.

"So do it. If you think you can have a baby in med school…do it. Or wait until after the wedding and do it," she said, playing with the ends of her hair. She had known her best friend for what seemed like forever now, and she knew the look on her face as she stared lustily at the tiny baby clothes she was going through among hers and Derek's clothes.

"Oh god, I can't have a baby in LA," she said, taking her head. Meredith knew what her plan was; finish med school in LA and the four of them would do their internship and residency together.

"You could. I have a baby in New Hampshire," she shrugged her shoulders. She had had Carolyn through the last semester but she knew when she and Derek went back to school in the fall Grace would be in day care during the day, which bummed her out but she knew it was for the best. She would be one and running around playing with kids her age while her parents were in school to be amazing doctors.

"Yeah, but that's so close to Mom, and to Ellis, and you know Mom will be there in hours if you needed her…" Meredith cut her off.

"Yeah, and Mom would get on a plane and be with you, too, if you and Mark needed anything, because she loves you two like you're her own kids. She gained two daughters and a son with the three of us, and you know that," she said, leaning back into the pillows. She could hear Mark and Derek at the front door and suddenly Derek was walking into the bedroom with a giggling Grace. Meredith sat up and smiled happily, taking her daughter from him.

"Oh Miss Grace, did you have fun at the park with Daddy and Uncle Markie?" she smiled, breathing in the smell of fresh air on the baby's skin. She babbled and tugged at Mer's hair and she smiled, closing her eyes and taking everything in as Addison watched, her heart tugging as she walked out of the room and into Mark.

"I want one babe," she whispered, leaning against him and sighing. Mark sighed too, having had a great time with his niece, wondering how Derek and Meredith managed to have everything.

"I do too. Let's just wait until after the wedding for now, okay?" Addison looked down, slightly dejected, but she smiled. Meredith knew how much Addie loved babies and children and it made her pout a bit that their first born wouldn't be close in age now.

* * *

The Hamptons were beautiful any time of year, but spending the summer there was amazing, just as amazing as Addison had promised when she had wooed Meredith and Derek there with their small family. The rest of the Shepherd sisters and their families popped in from time to time, Amelia staying the longest. Meredith and Addison were closest with her and Meredith was always concerned about her; she knew things about Amelia that Derek didn't.

Like that she was bordering 20 years old, had just finished her sophomore year of pre-med at Harvard, and was a raging alcoholic and hid it from her family extremely well. But Meredith, who used to drink her own feelings away, could see right through it all. Then there was Addison, who had grown up with Bizzy, could also see right through it, and the two girls hovered and mothered her without being too obvious about it.

Spending their days on the beach, Addison and Meredith laid out with Mark and Derek playing with Grace in the sand, building sandcastles and taking her in the water. It worked because the boys were just giant children and Gracie was a smaller version of themselves. Meredith watched them all playing with the sand before she crawled over to them, plopping the baby in her lap. She couldn't believe she was eleven months old already; her birthday was in a month and she was trying to take her first steps already. Meredith beamed with pride as Grace held onto her hand and stood up, sand all over her body and in her hair, getting Meredith all sandy.

"Well hello miss," she laughed as the baby cooed. Well, she wasn't really a baby anymore, but she would always be her baby.

"Mama!" she smiled, and held out her arms for Meredith, wrapping them around her. Mer smiled and held her close; she smiled like sunscreen and the salty ocean, sunshine and fresh air.

"Mmm yes baby," she said as she closed her eyes. Derek moved beside her and wrapped his arms around the two of them and Meredith melted into his arms.

"I love you," he whispered as he tugged them closer, and Meredith giggled as he words tickled her neck.

"We love you too, don't you Gracie-girl?" she grinned, looking down at their daughter, who giggled and held out a shell to Derek.

"Oh, is this for me? You shouldn't have, princess," he laughed as he took the mangled shell from her and kissing her forehead, before scooping her up again.

"Come on, we're gonna go with Uncle Mark to look for more seashells so Mommy and Aunt Addie can plan their wedding," he laughed, letting her walk supported between his legs back over to Mark, while Meredith brushed the sand off and headed back to Addison, where they had everything for the wedding in notebooks and binders at their chairs and towels, and a few cocktails. Amelia was back at the house sleeping off a hangover.

Meredith collapsed back in her chair, tying her long hair up in a bun as she reached for one of the notebooks and sliding her sunglasses over her eyes.

"So Addie, you need a gown. And we need gowns. And Miss Gracie needs a dress. How was that not your first priority!?" she laughed. That had been her first thing, finding a gown before everything else, but that had been easy for her, especially since she had known where she wanted the wedding and reception to be.

"Well Bizzy wants the wedding and reception on the estate in Connecticut, or here on the beach," she said, motioning around them. It was a private beach, and Meredith knew it would be a small, private wedding, with just family and friends. Either choice would be pretty. Plus, with Addison's taste, the wedding could still be elaborate, fancy, and black tie no matter how small it was or where it was. She could wear a white trash bag and it could be a huge, gorgeous wedding.

"Yes, but where do YOU want it?" she asked her, cocking her head to the side. Addie closed her eyes and sighed, sipping her water.

"I don't know, you know Bizzy, I do what she tells me to do because if I didn't she'd open the gates of hell." Meredith snorted; she'd only met Addison's mother a select few times but knew that she rivaled Ellis.

"Addie, break free from her. Do what you want to do. It's your wedding," she shrugged, watching Mark and Derek with Gracie, her heart soaring as her little baby kicked her feet in the water, the sound of her laughter canceling out everything else.

"Well, if we're talking reality, I'd have it in New York. Everyone we know is in New York, our friends, most of our family. I mean Mark grew up here, his dad lives here, the Shepherds are here, you and Derek are here…well you're part of the Shepherds," she smirked, as Meredith turned back to her, tugging up her bikini top and unconsciously touching her flat-again tummy.

"So have a New York City wedding. Plan it the way you want it to turn out. Get the sisters involved. I'm your maid of honor, I'll do anything you want me to since I'm on the east coast and you aren't, I can drive down to the city on weekends and do wedding things. I'm here for you, Addie, I've been your best friend since we were 18, I know what you like and how you like it," she smiled, stretching out a bit. The sun was beating down on them, turning her hair blonder than it had ever been before. She closed her eyes behind her sunglasses and took a deep breath, wondering when the carefully constructed life she'd built over the past seven years would eventually come crashing down around her.

* * *

Every day, from the beginning of June to the end of August, was spent on the beach around family and friends. By her first birthday, Gracie was walking and as Meredith looked through the little girl's things for the dress she had brought along for her birthday dress, the baby walked around the room holding a plush giraffe, babbling to herself.

"Mama's sorry sweetie, things are so messy in your bags," she pouted, before pulling out a pink dress with a floaty tulle skirt.

"Come here princess," she smiled, grabbing her by the waist and somehow wrestling her into the dress, knowing it would be ruined in an instant but she didn't care. She was already dressed in a navy and white striped sundress, her blonde hair shining against it, her feet bare as she rested Gracie on her hip and made her way downstairs. Shepherd sisters, spouses, and nieces and nephews were already running around the living room as Meredith set Grace down to play with them, before heading into the kitchen to check on everything. Years after leaving the House of Ellis Grey, Meredith wasn't used to bossing around and hunting down a staff, but Bizzy played a hard game and kept them around at all of her houses. Once she'd checked on the food, including the cake, she headed back into the main room where she was surrounded by sisters fawning over her and Grace.

"Mer, how did you manage to have the cutest baby out of all of us and get your body back at the same time?" Nancy complained, and Meredith had to shake her head, laughing as she watched her daughter playing with her cousins.

"She's just as cute as everyone else Nance! She looks like everyone, she's all Shepherd. And please, sometimes I feel so ick! I worked out a lot, went running," she said, shrugging off the statement.

"Please, you're a med student, you don't have time for that," and Meredith just rolled her eyes and smirked, wiggling her bare feet on the plush carpet. All of the guys were outside by the pool with beers, Carolyn was down on the floor with the kids, and the girls were standing around with glasses of wine – those who weren't pregnant, at least. Kathleen was pregnant with her third, passing Nancy at this point, with Lizzie getting married in October.

"You don't know what I do and don't have time for," Meredith teased her, wiggling her eyebrows as Nancy made a disgusted face.

"Ew, Mer, I know you guys have a baby but I so don't need to picture that," she said as Meredith just giggled, brushing her hair back. She looked around the room; it was a small family party and she was pleased with everything, but she felt the absence of her mother. She'd been so hopeful for a while that Ellis had changed and was coming around 24 years later, but sadly she'd been wrong. Pursing her lips together she sighed; even now she sometimes wished for her, to be held by her and loved by her. She loved Carolyn and knew she was loved as one of her own, but a girl needed her own mother too and that was something Meredith had never and would never know.

* * *

The kids played, the boys drank and ended up playing football on the beach, and the girls hovered around the kids and gossiped, but eventually it was time for cake. Meredith scooped up Grace, surprised she hadn't torn her dress to pieces, as the cake was brought out and set on the huge dining room table.

"Hey guys, let's sing happy birthday to Princess Gracie," she smiled, as the little kids ran to be front and center to help blow out the candles. Everyone gathered around the table and Derek handed his phone off to Addison, with Mark handling the video camera as Carolyn lit the candles.

"Alright everyone," Meredith smiled, looking up for a few pictures as Derek slipped an arm around her waist, pulling her and Grace close to him, planting a few kisses on her.

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Gracie…happy birthday to you!" they sang, and Mer hoisted her up in the front, an arm running underneath the baby and around her waist. The small family posed for a few photos before they leaned in.

"Guys," she grinned down at her small handful of nieces and nephews.

"Gracie needs help blowing her candles out, do you want to help her?" they nodded in earnest and Meredith giggled, feeling Derek tighten his grip and whisper a quiet 'I love you' into her hair.

"Alright! One….two….three!" she counted, and several camera flashes went off as the candles went out. Grace giggled and clapped her hands, blowing kisses at the cameras as Meredith swooped in with kisses before looking up at the cameras. Since she was 18, puzzle pieces of her life had begun falling into place, part of a bigger picture, and she knew if she waited even longer to step back and look at it, the picture would be complete – she just had to get through med school and residency.

* * *

 **Ugh so reviews are STILL down but I can't wait to read all of them when they're back up! I fell in love with this chapter as I wrote it, loving writing about the fearsome foursome on summer vacation with a baby :D It came so easily and I wish all chapters were this much fun to write! I also realized that most of my chapters for this story are happy and perky….and then I realized that I have to write Ellis being diagnosed with Alzheimer's soon so it's not going to be 100% happy and perky for much longer. Still, I hope you like this chapter as much as I did!**


	40. Isn't She Lovely

Heading back to New Hampshire after a beautiful summer in the Hamptons was hard, but stepping into the house, Meredith felt immediately at home. She sent Derek out to get groceries and she set about unpacking their things and cleaning the house, after it had been dormant for four months. Gracie played with her toys in the living room and Meredith kept an eye on her as she cleaned the house from top to bottom, Luna running around and barking at the vacuum cleaner whenever Mer had it running, much to her amusement. By the time Derek came back with a car load of groceries, Meredith had cleaned the main rooms and was going to take Gracie into the bedrooms to start there.

"Okay hi, you're great," she grinned, leaving a kiss on his lips with a smile. He laughed at her and shook his head.

"You're a cleaning machine, did you go into OCD mode?" he teased her, and she blushed a bit.

"Maybe. It was filthy in here! We can't have a toddler and filth, and a dog too," she said. Luna had grown almost to her full size by now, and she came up past Meredith's knees.

"Okay Mer, whatever you say," he teased, as he unpacked the groceries and got started on dinner.

By the time Meredith finished cleaning, it was bedtime, so she bathed Gracie and put her to bed, before taking a shower and climbing into her own bed, flat out exhausted from cleaning, and she fell right to sleep. Their first day of classes was in the morning and she needed to be rested.

* * *

Waking up at 5:30 again was the hardest thing Meredith had to do. It took her at least a half hour to get out of bed and then shower, and by that time Grace was up, banging on the rails of her crib.

"Okay little one, let's getting you in your hair chair," she said, walking into the kitchen and setting her into her hair chair, scattering cheerios on the tray while she made coffee; Derek was showering. Sunlight was filtering through the windows on the late August day and Meredith sighed. This was her last semester of her second year and she wanted to get it over with, she hated that she was behind in med school but that was that, she had gotten pregnant and she didn't regret or resent Gracie one bit.

Derek ambled into the kitchen as Meredith was making eggs, freshly clean and Meredith smiled.

"Good morning McDreamy," she teased him, and he laughed at her, shaking his head as she dished up eggs and toast on two plates, Grace babbling away with her own eggs and cheerios.

"Good morning to my two princesses," he smiled, giving his girls a kiss.

"Ready to take on the year?" Mer said, sitting down at the table with her small, happy family, a coy look on her face. She had an idea stewing through her mind and Derek could tell.

"Yes….but first tell me what's going through your mind."

"Well…I was thinking. We could take summer classes to catch up and graduate on time. That way we'll be on track for our internship and residency," she shrugged, sipping her coffee and keeping on eye on Grace. Derek nodded along with her, too tired for words as he drank his own coffee, agreeing with her.

"We'll just have to have Friday afternoons off and be free for Addie and Mark's wedding," he said, as they finished their breakfasts in comfortable silence, before grabbing theirs and Gracie's things to go to daycare and school.

* * *

The school year went by like any other year did; long, complicated, and hard. Med school was no walk in the park but they trudged through it, helping each other with everything they could, and by the end of second semester, they both came out with 4.0's again. They were both smart and at the top of their class, where they were more than happy to be, but they were also pleased to have finished the year, despite having to stay in Hanover for the summer in order to catch up. Mer was glad they got to enjoy the beauty of the town, however. Their backyard had a pool that they'd never used, and the trails in the woods were gorgeous and she absolutely took the change to go running, sometimes plopping Gracie in her running stroller and getting more of an exercise, the running lulling the almost two year old to sleep.

The summer semester was harder than the usual semesters, because they were cramming so much information into 10 weeks, and Meredith felt her anxiety levels rise again, but it seemed like no time at all they were finished, and suddenly she felt she could rest easy because they were caught up and soon would be entering their third year of med school. It felt amazing knowing that – two more years and they would be doctors.

* * *

Mid-August came, and Derek and Meredith migrated to New York for Addison and Mark's wedding. It was going to be elaborate and crazy, she knew, but she had helped plan it after all. Once they arrived and unpacked, she walked the few blocks to Addie and Marks, using her key to get into the apartment. She found Addison and Savvy there, Addison in a panic that things wouldn't fall into place. Meredith ran her fingers through her long hair and sighed.

"Addison, I've been talking you down for like two years now. Everything will go according to plan, you need to calm down. I have a handle on everything, you know that," she said, handing her the highly organized wedding book. Addison's hands were shaking slightly and she bit her lip, looking up at her with a small pout.

"What would I do without you Mer?" she askded.

"I don't know, probably die in a ditch somewhere," she smirked, heading into the kitchen for a glass of wine. Once she had one she came back into the living room.

"Addie you're getting married this weekend, you need to chill and let me take care of things, I've done this before and you haven't," she pointed out and Addison flopped back on the couch as Meredith went through the book.

Soon enough Amelia showed up – at almost twenty her alcoholism was out of control but she was still hiding it pretty well, but still Addison and Meredith knew about it. Mer, of course, hid it from Derek, not wanting to burden him unless it bled out of Amelia's life and into everyone elses. She knew they should do something about it but she wasn't sure what. Rat her out to her family and ruin her life? She seemingly had it under control – for now. Merdith wasn't sure what would happen when she turned 21, which was in a little over a year.

"Come here, Mia, Addison is going to shit bricks soon over the wedding," she smirked, as she and her favorite Shepherd sister squeezed into a chair together to go over everything for the wedding.

* * *

Saturday morning came all too soon and Addison woke up early, earlier than anyone else. She and Meredith had slept together in her bed, while the guys had stayed over at Meredith and Derek's. It was only 6:30 but the summer sunshine was already flooding their bedroom.

"Mer," she said, shaking her friend awake. Meredith rolled over and moaned, blinking in the sunlight.

"Addie it's 6:30 in the morning," she groaned, pulling a pillow over her head and rolling over, but she was already awake and her attempts to sleep were in vain.

"I know but I'm awake and I'm getting married in twelve hours," she stated, rolling over and pulling Meredith towards her.

"Uggggh I hate you right now," she groaned, sitting up and hitting her with a pillow before climbing out of bed and heading to the kitchen to make coffee. It was so early, Grace wasn't even awake. Putting on a pot of coffee, she rifled through the fridge to find something to eat before spotting bagels on the counter, toasting and fixing herself one, leaning against the kitchen counter as Amelia came out of the guest room she had stayed in, looking hungover. Meredith raised an eyebrow.

"Late night?" she asked, and Amelia shot her a look. Meredith sighed, blocking the way to the coffee pot.

"Look, Amelia, I'm not stupid, I've held your secret for almost two years now. I haven't told Derek, or Mom even for the record, that you have a drinking problem, and I'm not going to until the day you lose yourself, so you watch your attitude around me. I've known you since you were 13 years old and innocent about everything in this world and you mean everything to me, more than Lexie, because you're my sister and I love you and it's hard for me to watch you destroy yourself," she said simply, the coffee maker dinging to signify that it was dumb. Amelia stood there silently, biting her lip as she looked at Meredith, not really sure what to say.

"I…um…I know I have a problem. But I don't want to tell mom. Or Derek. Or the vultures. Because telling them means getting help, and leaving school, and I can't do that. I have to finish school, I have two years left, and then I have med school, and then residency…I can't do it. But I find myself partying more and more but I'm acing my classes and I'm at the top of my class and I'm my own person outside of being Amelia Shepherd," she said. Suddenly Addison walked into the kitchen and the two sisters stopped bickering and shut up, Meredith pouring coffee for the three of them, before pouring a fourth for Savvy.

"Come on guys, let's watch tv before the hair and makeup ladies come," Mer said, before she heard Grace over the baby monitor.

"Oh I'll get her," Amelia smiled, rushing to the room and getting her from the crib, changing her diaper and bringing her to the older women.

"Hey princess," Mer said, Gracie holding her arms out to her.

"Mama!" she cooed, snuggling up in Meredith's arms and she smiled, holding the warm baby and smelling her lavender scent. She loved when Grace first woke up, when she was still half asleep and wanted cuddles.

"Hey baby girl, do you want your milk?" she said, reaching into the fridge for her milk and pouring some into a sippy cup, before handing it to her. Grace was happy to have her milk, and Meredith set her down as Savvy entered the room with the other three girls – Addison had one maid of honor and two bridesmaids, while Mark had Derek, Weiss, and another guy he was friends with from college named Owen.

"Hey guys, how are you all awake so early? Excited, Addie?" she asked, and Addie made a face.

"Addie is anxious and I'm going to have to drag her down the aisle," Meredith smirked as she handed Savvy the fourth cup of coffee. The four women sat around and talked for awhile before the hair and make-up ladies came around noon, when they switched to mimosas. Bizzy came around 2 pm, just to make sure her daughter was in tip-top shape, and Meredith rolled her eyes as she watched her best friend shrink inside herself a little bit.

"Perhaps you should go to the hotel, Bizzy," Meredith suggested. The photographer was already there taking photos; the girls had their hair and makeup finished already and there were food and drinks set up in the kitchen that they were all noshing on, and Meredith was dressed in a dress that buttoned down the front so she could easily take it off without mussing up her makeup and hair. Bizzy sighed, sensing Addison's anxiety, before she left the apartment and everyone sighed in relief.

* * *

In no time at all it was time to get ready; the bridesmaids put on their gowns before it was time for Addison to get dressed. The bridesmaid's gowns were straight down to the ground, strapless with a sweetheart neckline. Meredith's differed slightly; it had a slight sash that came from the neckline that tied at the right side, signaling her out as maid of honor. After getting helped into her dress she focused on Addison, who sat on the bed in a corset and underwear, her hair pulled back ornately and elegantly.

"Adds, we're going to get you into your gown okay? Are you ready? This was so exciting at my wedding," she smiled, and for once the entire day, Addison looked up and smiled tearily.

"It's happening, it's actually happening," she smiled, and Meredith's smiled widened s she leaned forward and hugged her tightly.

"I've known you since the first day of Yale, since the day we met Mark and Derek, and yes, it's really happening," she giggled, poking into the walk-in closet and coming out with the gown. It had a huge tulle ballgown skirt like Cinderella and a corseted top that Meredith laced up tightly, with a dark teal sash that matched her bridesmaids. She held white roses tied together with the same teal sash, white the bridesmaids had pink roses with a white tulle ribbon. The photographer was snapping photo after photo, especially as Meredith laced her into the gown, and once she was done Addie left the bedroom and posed various places around the apartment, with many photos on the balcony of the four girls posing. Thank god the apartment was immaculate and always looked like it came out of a spread of Vogue – Meredith's looked like it came out of a page of a mommy magazine these days.

It was 5 pm at that point and the limo was there, so they hopped in and headed over to St. Patrick's Cathedral where they were whisked away to the bridal suite. They had an hour still until the ceremony and Meredith could hear people filtering into the large church; she could hear Derek's laughter as he talked to people and she poked her nose out, Grace on her hip to spy on him, Addison yanking on her to bring her back in as she giggled.

"I wasn't allowed out at your wedding you aren't allowed out at mine!" Addison laughed, so the four of them sat around until the wedding planner came to get them from the ceremony. The girls lined up; Grace was first with her little pomander ball of flowers, making everyone go crazy with how adorable she was. Derek was at the end of the aisle to grab her and sweep her into his arms. Next came Savvy, already married to Weiss, making eyes at him as she walked down the aisle. Amelia was next, waltzing down without making eye contact with her family. Out of the bridesmaids, Meredith was last as maid of honor, grinning at Derek and Gracie, who wiggled in Derek's arms for her but she couldn't take her.

The wedding march began and all eyes were on Addison and the Captain as they made their way to the altar, Mark beaming at his beautiful bride. Once they were there, the Captain transferred Addison's hand to Mark's, kissing his daughter's cheek and the ceremony began. Meredith held Addison's bouquet as Addie clutched Mark's hand's and she knew she had never seen her friend as happy as she was in this moment.

If seemed as if the Catholic ceremony took forever, but Meredith remembered feeling the same way during her own wedding ceremony. When the priest finally said 'you may kiss the bride', Mark dipped Addison down low and kissed her, and everyone erupted in applause, Meredith and Derek the loudest, having been there from the start.

* * *

From the church, the bridal party marched into Central Park, having fun with photos like they had at Mer and Der's wedding. Gracie ran around in her gorgeous dress and tiny little shoes, the subject of many photos, Addie and Mark scooping her up for some aunt and uncle loving in some photos. When they were done they got in the limo headed for the Waldorf Astoria and a magical night.

They had a private cocktail hour for the bridal party, in their own room where there was an abundance of alcohol and food, and their own private waiters, but soon enough it was time to be announced. They went in the same order as down the aisle, this time with their partners; Amelia was paired with Owen, who she didn't know very well but Meredith could tell she liked him a bit.

They were all announced; Grace was announced with Mer and Der, and suddenly they were lining the dance floor and Addison and Mark were announced.

"Here they are, for the first time as husband and wife, Mrs Addison Sloan and Mr. Mark Sloan!" The room exploaded as they entered the room, Addison looking happy beyond belief as Mark swept her onto the dance floor and their song started playing. Marry You by Train blasted through the speakers and Meredith leaned on Derek, Grace holding onto his leg and she smiled.

"This was us only a few years ago," she whispered, and he smiled, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulled her to him.

"And I don't regret a moment of life with you since," he whispered back, drawing her into a kiss.

* * *

 **Ahhh Maddison are married finally! And Meredith and Derek are caught up in school! Hope you liked this chapter! We made it to 40 chapters guys! I posted another chapter to Someone Like You so if you didn't catch it, be sure to read it!**


	41. Breathe Me

The last two years of med school flew by quickly and in no time it all, the fearless foursome were applying for their surgical residency. Meredith was always texting Addison where her top choices were, hoping they would all end up at the same place, and Mark and Derek wanted to stay in New York – their top pick was Columbia. Addison also agreed with them, but Meredith was picky as hell.

One night during fall break, when Addie and Mark had come to visit, they were all going over surgical residency programs. They were going back and forth, from Columbia to Mayo to even returning to Yale. George Washington Hospital was brought up, as well as Emory in Atlanta. Tulane, Johns Hopkins, Brigham, Mass Gen – Meredith said no way -, staying at Dartmouth, New York Methodist, NYU, Drexel, UPenn, Jefferson…it all spun around in Meredith's dead.

"What about Seattle Grace?" she said, and everyone looked at her, skeptical.

"Hear me out. I was born there, I have a house there, I know the chief of surgery. He and my mom are friends. My dad and step mom are there, my little sister is there, Lexie might end up there," she stated, biting her lip. She left out the part where that's where her mother did her residency and that's the hospital Meredith grew up in but didn't remember much of nonetheless, she wanted it to be an option. Derek smiled and kissed her forehead.

"Seattle is an option. We won't have to pick until June, it's only October," he told her, and she smiled slightly, downing the rest of her margarita before going to check on Grace, who at over two years old now slept in a big girl bed and was in the process of being potty trained. She had no idea where she found the time to potty train her with her crazy schedule, but there were less accidents and more achievements. She'd made up a chart that let Gracie pick a new toy at the end of a week if she didn't have any accidents, and Gracie, already an over-achiever, loved it.

* * *

Over Christmas, too busy to do much but stay overnight at Casa Shepherd, the small family stopped in Boston to visit Ellis. What Meredith found was extremely worrying.

"Mom why didn't you come to Christmas?" she said, Grace running around the large Grey townhouse, Derek watching her. Ellis looked up from her work and squinted.

"What are you talking about? It's not Christmas, it's barely even Thanksgiving." It struck a chord in Meredith and she bit her lip.

"Mom…Christmas was yesterday. Look at your planner," she said, suddenly scared. Ellis looked in her planner and shrugged it away.

"Oh, well, I'm trying to figure out all this surgical stuff and just nothing is adding up, I can't figure it out." Meredith sighed, pulling herself out of the office, but she had a small idea of what was going on with her mother and it scared her a bit.

After a half hour at the house, where they were waiting to have lunch with her mother, Ellis came out of her office looking disheveled and frumpy, not her clean, polished, put together self. It worried Meredith, who had always known Ellis to be her mother who ruled with an iron fist.

"I can't find anything of mine anymore, I don't remember where I put it," she said, wringing her hands. Meredith sighed as they all sat down to lunch, Grace next to her and Derek across from her, Ellis always at the head of the table.

"It'll show up mom, it always does. Since when did you start losing things?" she asked her, and Ellis looked at her, confused.

"I'm not losing things, what are you talking about?" she said, as she picked up a platter of salmon and passed it to Meredith. Beside her, Grace was eating small pieces of chicken fingers as Meredith met Derek's eyes. She knew exactly what he was thinking.

* * *

After lunch, while Ellis spent time with her granddaughter, Meredith slipped into her mother's office to confirm her suspicions. Her once neat and tidy notebooks had gone wild. The writing was unnatural for her mother and all over the place. She dug into things more and finally found a file that she must have taken from the hospital with her mother's name on it. She was almost finished med school and could understand most of the words on the papers. As she read the lab results she became more and more scared, until she read the notes from the results – early onset Alzheimer's. Meredith swallowed and bit back tears; her mother was only in her 40's. She was too young for this, much too young. She had so much more to do, Meredith wanted to gift her with more grandchildren…trying to wipe her eyes, she replaced everything where she had found it, before slipping from the mess of an office and back to the living room, stopping in the powder room to fix any makeup that was running and adjust her black embossed dress and tug up her tights, before heading back to Derek, her mom, and Grace.

"Hey guys," she said with a smile.

"Sorry, I went upstairs to my old room…memories and everything," she lied, knowing it was a thin one and Derek saw right through it and saw that she had been crying.

"Hey, Dr. Grey, Meredith and I will be right back, Grace should be fine," he said with a smile, taking Meredith's hand and walking up to the fourth floor for privacy.

"What is it Mer?" he asked her, knowing he had noticed the same symptoms as she did

Meredith broke down, sitting down on her old bed. Her mother had made the room into a guest bedroom since she'd moved out at 18, but it was still the room she'd grown up in and they were staying in it overnight. Her tears penetrated the walls and the walls sucked them in; she couldn't remember the last time she cried like this.

"How do I tell her I know? How do I tell her she needs to step back from the hospital? How do I do any of this" she wailed, Derek holding her in his arms. Despite years of being an adult, being married, and having her own family, she had no idea what she was supposed to do with any of this information. Gasping for air, she started having a panic attack as Derek gently rubbed her back, telling her to breath in through her nose and out through her lungs.

"This is supposed to be the best time of my life and her life. She has a granddaughter, and there's going to be more, but she'll never know the rest of them," she said sadly, looking down at her hands.

"And one day she won't remember you, or me, or anyone," she choked, her hair falling in her face. Derek pulled her into his arms again as a fresh wave of tears overcame her and she fell into pieces again that Derek struggled to pick up off the floor.

"Come on, Mer, we should go downstairs. I'll give you a few minutes to fix yourself," he said, pressing a kiss to her forehead as she headed into the attached bathroom to fix her makeup and drink some water. After a few minutes she calmed down, heading back down the spiral staircase and back into the living room.

"Mommy! Nana says I'm pwetty," Gracie said, and Meredith got down on the floor and giggled, holding out her arms for the toddler, as Gracie fell into her mother's arms. She could tell Ellis was watching the two of them, wishing she could go back and love Meredith more than she had.

* * *

Later that night, once Gracie was asleep in another room on the 4th floor, and Derek was arguing with Addie and Mark about residency programs again, Meredith slipped away downstairs and followed the light to her mother's office.

"Mommy," she said, using the endearment that only slipped out of her mouth when talking about Gracie. Ellis looked up and furrowed her brow, as if she was trying to place Meredith, and then it came over her.

"Yes, Meredith?" she said, back to typical Ellis style.

"How long have you known about your diagnoses?" she said in a small voice, and Ellis softened, tears brimming in her eyes as Meredith sat down on the stiff leather couch, twisting her rings around her fingers.

"A few months ago. I…I haven't figured out what to do. I need to pick a new chief, I need to leave the hospital, I need to change my life entirely," she said, unfocused on Meredith and focusing on her hands, which were shaking slightly.

"Mom, anything I can do…I AM your daughter, you know," she said, chewing on her lip. She knew now that wherever they went for their residency, they had to take Ellis with them. Again, she wanted to cry, but she was nearly 25 with her own child. She couldn't break. No, she wouldn't break. Ellis looked at Meredith with a small sigh.

"This is the hardest thing I'll ever have to do Meredith. Give up what makes me me," she said, before dissolving into tears. In a flash Meredith was by her side, clinging to her. Ellis had no one else that Meredith knew of and this was killing both of them.

"I know mom, I know," she tried soothing her, the way she would soothe her daughter. She knew she would need to make arrangements soon enough, the will would have to be changed, and a lot of things she wasn't nearly ready enough for would happen. That's just the way life went, and suddenly she knew the other shoe had dropped after seven happy years.

* * *

The rest of the school year finished uneventfully, with Ellis deteriorating more over the months. She had stepped down as chief and Meredith had arranged for a nurse to stay with her at home at all times. Graduating med school was a big deal, but she knew her mother couldn't come and she was fine with that – she had seen her graduate under-grad and she was happy for that, at least. She was surprised though, when she marched across that stage, that she saw Ellis sitting with Carolyn and the rest of the Shepherds. She just had to pass her boards now, but she didn't see that being a problem – she was now technically Dr. Shepherd.

The same day they were graduating, Addison and Mark were graduating in California, and soon the four were going away to Europe for a few weeks. Grace was going to stay with Nana Shepherd and they were going to pick a residency program.

Meredith and Derek made it to Europe, and were there for a week with Addison and Derek, before they were called back to Boston for Ellis. Her mind had gone even more since Christmas, and she barely recognized Meredith and Derek anymore, let alone Grace. She knew the three of them were important to her, and sometimes she'd say theirs names, somedays she'd be lucid and be able to tell stories and laugh, but most days she was a shell of a person.

When the pair got back, the nurse informed them that Ellis was reliving her residency in Seattle and Meredith sighed, knowing that her mother needed to be in Seattle. If she wasn't, it might hurt her more than help her. And so, at least for Derek and Meredith, their surgical residency had been decided. They were moving to Seattle.

Selling the house in Hanover was easy; they hadn't intended on staying there permanently. They kept the house in NYC, but packed up all necessary things like clothing and things close to the heart, sending them ahead to Meredith's old house there.

Upon arriving back from Europe a month later, Addison and Mark discovered that Meredith and Derek had had to make a decision, and not wanting to do this without them, they decided to move to Seattle with them, all four of them living in Meredith's house. By July, the four of them had moved and by mid-July they were starting as interns at Seattle Grace Hospital.

* * *

 **Whew! Finally got to Ellis and her Alzheimer's, but not to Meredith's dark and twisties. That comes in a few chapters ;) Yes there will be a Maddison baby, and more MerDer babies, and they'll see the other interns they met at Yale at SGH (because it's fanfic so I can do that) and basically HERE WE GO!**


	42. Royals

Meredith hadn't been to Seattle since her sophomore year of college, but she didn't count that. Really, she hadn't been there since she was 5. She didn't remember it being so green – but she remembered how wet it was. It was pouring when they landed and she grabbed her jacket, hating that it was July 1st and she needed one, putting Grace in hers and carrying her on her hip through SEA-TAC. Addison and Mark were coming in a few days, once the house was more set up and a room had been claimed for Grace. They had left almost everything except their clothes in NYC – they needed cars, they needed to furnish the house, they needed everything.

Sighing as they rented a car and sped off towards the house Meredith had inherited, Meredith peeking out the windows at things she vaguely remembered from a traumatic childhood.

"Der, there's ferry boats," she smiled, pointing at the water as the ferry boats took cars and people back and forth. He couldn't help but smile; he might be able to get used to this crazy city.

"Now we have to take a family trip to see the boats, would you like that Gracie?" he asked her, and she giggled in the back seat.

"I love boats Daddy!" said the almost three-year-old, as they pulled up to the house. It was large, with several bedrooms and an attic, and Meredith slid out of the car, holding the key and taking a deep breath. She hadn't been here in twenty years, when her mother had told her to pack up her things and they ran in the middle of the night. Heading to the door, she opened the glass storm door and shoved open the front door – Thatcher and Susan had put their things inside the house, and everything was neatly stacked in the living room. Being in the house brought back so many memories to her and her eyes misted over. By the kitchen was a height chart, showing little Meredith growing from the time she could stand up until they'd fled. There were still blood stains in the wooden kitchen floor from when her mother tried to kill herself – at five years old she had tried so hard to scrub it up, and it just wouldn't happen. The house was musty and Meredith worked at opening windows and pulling open curtains, bringing light inside. One thing she was grateful for was that Thatcher and Susan had updated the appliances in the kitchen so that everything was new. There was absolutely no furniture though, and she knew they'd be sleeping on an air mattress with Grace for a few days. She continued walking through the house, taking it all in before heading upstairs. For a moment she stopped in the doorway of what had been her parents room; that would be hers and Derek's. Across the hall was a nice sized bedroom which would become Grace's and she smiled, already feeling somewhat at home here again. She could hear Derek outside and she slipped downstairs and back out into the rain, pulling up the hood of her coat.

"Hey Gracie-pie, can you hold your backpack while mommy and daddy bring our things in?" she smiled, handing her daughter her little backpack that held the small iPod she was allowed to have that was filled with kid's music that she loved. Grace rose to the occasion and put it on her back, climbing up the front steps to the house while Mer and Der dealt with their bags.

"Are you okay, being back here?" he asked her, studying her. Her hair was falling out of her hood and she looked tired, more tired than he had ever seen her. He knew she was stressed about her mother, and moving for the umpteenth time, and uprooting Grace again – it was written all over her face. Once they got all of their bags into the house and found Grace playing with her baby doll in the living room, she pulled off her wet coat and hung it up, shrugging her shoulders.

"It's weird but I'll get used to it. Now you can see where I was born," she smiled lightly. Her life hadn't always been million dollar mansions and trust funds. Her mother had built up her for the two of them and she had done well – now all of it was Meredith's, which freaked her out a bit. The house in Boston had been sold for a great deal of money, and she had no idea what to do with it all.

"So which bedroom was yours?" he teased, spotting the height chart by the kitchen, and other places where little Meredith had obviously made her mark. Meredith laughed and scooped up Grace, taking off her coat and little boots and carrying her upstairs.

"This is going to be our room…it was Thatcher and Ellis's and then it was Ellis's," she said, before opening up the door across the hall. The walls were faded purple and needed to be spruced up; they would do it before Grace moved in and it would be the first thing they did.

"This was my room…I had my bed and my doll house and all my dolls, and then I had my little suture kits my mom would give me and I would suture up my dolls," she giggled, setting Grace down and letting her walk between the rooms. She wrapped her arms around Derek and snuggled up to him inside his warm coat.

"I love you. I appreciate you not running for the hills in the past seven years," she teased him, and he laughed, shaking his head.

"And why on earth would I do that?" he said, cupping her cheek.

"I love you and I married you for better or worse. Your mother is a for worse right now but we got her into a great nursing home and she's going to be okay, we have a great residency program, and Mark and Addison will be here soon. I have plans for us out here…I want to buy some land and build us a house." She smiled at his optimistic smile and she stood on her tip toes, giving him a kiss.

"Really? Like our own, amazing and perfect custom built house?" she said, her eyes wide as he nodded.

"Yes, and when I go to get groceries and other things we need until we have furniture I'm going to inquire about a real estate office so I can find the best piece. I want one close to the mountains and some hiking trails and camping spots, where you can view the city. I want it to be quiet where we can raise half a dozen kids with curly blonde and brown hair," he smiled, and she snuggled up to him again.

"I love you. Really, truly, love you. There was never anyone else but you," she whispered, tears in her eyes.

* * *

Meredith spent her day unpacking, giving Grace more of her toys as she found them, leaving some things in boxes that needed furniture, like her wedding china and crystal, and clothes. But she was able to unpack the kitchenware and pots and pans, and she knew Derek was eventually coming back with lunch and dinner plus groceries, so she was okay. The rain had lightened up and was falling softly and she found herself used to the sound as she busied herself around the house. Luna was coming with Addison and Mark, which she suddenly realized was a good idea, because she couldn't imagine doing this with both a dog and a toddler. Unwrapping everything was tedious and she hated it, she'd much rather be exploring but soon Derek came back with a million bags of groceries and an air mattress and lightbulbs for the lamps that had been shipped over and suddenly the house was busy with activity as they got things ready. Meredith busied herself making up a bed in Gracie's room once she had cleaned it top to bottom, wanting her to take a nap – and thankfully she did, tired from the day's events. With the toddler out of the way Meredith was suddenly able to do so much more. The tv and internet guy had come and gone, so she sat on the counter with her credit card, ordering furniture. Most of what they had in Hanover they had sold with the house, wanting to start fresh in Seattle, even though she knew that she'd buy new furniture again if Derek built them a new house.

Finally, around 8 Seattle time but 11 New York time, Meredith was exhausted and slid her tired body into the bathtub, Derek slipping in behind her. She was so warm and comfortable she could have fallen asleep in the bathtub, but eventually Derek pulled her out, the two of them clean as they collapsed on the airbed. She longed for a real bed but figured they'd pick one out tomorrow.

And that was how they ended day 1 in Seattle.

* * *

 **So finally, finally, the fearless foursome are in Seattle (well almost all of them haha) and are starting at Seattle Grace soon!**


	43. A Promise To Keep

Being back in Seattle was so weird. It was July and it was cold and raining all the time; the furniture was arriving that day and Meredith didn't want Grace to be around all the commotion so she packed up her diaper bag and decided to have fun in the city if they could find it, but Mer didn't remember anything from when she was little. After all she had moved when she was five. Gracie was excited about all of it, wanting to help Derek paint her bedroom and he let her a little bit, eyeing his daughter with joy as she used her little paintbrush to help him paint her new bedroom lavender.

The day their new furniture was to be delivered, Meredith grabbed the packed diaper back and wrestled Gracie into her coat, grabbing her own things and leaving the house early. It was going to be busy all day and Derek would be there to guide the delivery men around the house, knowing already where Meredith wanted it all.

"Come on princess," she smiled, pulling on Gracie's coat and zipping it up, having already pulled back her hair into a ponytail. She wore leggings tucked into rainboots, an old trench wrapped around her and a messenger back thrown across her body, Gracie's diaper bag across her shoulder. She lifted Grace into her arms and carried her out to her new car, strapping her into her car seat. She programmed her GPS for Seattle Center, knowing it was a good start with Gracie and her almost 3 year old self.

In no time at all, Meredith was driving off the ferry and parking at the Seattle Center, popping her into her stroller. She had no idea when she had become so 'mommy', but it had happened somewhere along the way, somewhere during the time she had finished med school.

"Gracie, we're going to go to the zoo,' she smiled, and Grace squealed.

"Mommy I wanna see el'phants!" she said, and Meredith smiled, pushing her stroller along the sidewalk on the way to the zoo – THAT was something she remembered, especially the carousel, which filled her mind but she wasn't sure why it was something that filled her mind.

"I don't think the zoo has elephants baby girl but there's giraffes, you like giraffes," she smiled as they entered the park that held the zoo within it's boundaries, and memories came flooding back. It was cheap for a zoo and she knew Gracie loved it, as she made animal noises at each exhibit they passed. Eventually they came to the indoor playground and Meredith let her run off, keeping an eye on her wild little girl – she was so full of energy and Meredith was glad they lived in a city where she was able to run around, finally. She loved New York and she missed it already, but the city was no place to raise a child. Here in Seattle she had a backyard and a brand new swingset to go with it. Mer sat on a bench and watched Gracie make friends and play with them, before she got a text that all the furniture was in the house and put together.

"Gracie-girl, our house is ready," she smiled, putting her back in her stroller with a hug and a kiss before they left the playground and headed through the zoo, a light rain falling now and making Meredith's hair frizzy but she didn't care. They made their way back to the car and headed back to the house, parking in the driveway and heading inside. She let Gracie down and took off her coat, hanging up both of theirs and peeking into the living room as she took off her boots. There were two couches set up with a coffee table, and Mer knew she had to do more decorating. Peeking into the kitchen there was a nice table that sat 6 with all the plates and silverware and appliances stored away; they'd taken them from their house in Hanover. In another room was a family room that held the TV and some of Grace's toys, there was the dining room as well with a long table and a china cabinet for her wedding china that was still nestled in boxes. Heading upstairs, she poked her head into her and Derek's bedroom with a smile – there was a king sized bed with a mattress, their things still in laundry baskets, and across the hall was Grace's purple room, with the small white toddler bed and the rest of it's white furniture. Grace was spinning around in a circle smiling, while Derek took videos for his mother.

"Grace, want to help mommy make up your new bed?" she smiled, dragging a laundry basket in from across the hall as she got to work. In no time at all the bed was made up with it's purple butterfly duvet and Grace was sitting in the middle of it with a smile.

"It's just like back home but better!" she squealed, before asking Meredith to pick her up. Mer sat her on her up as she started to go through boxes, folding her little clothes into the drawers. It was tedious with the squirmy toddler on her hip but she got it done, having adapted quickly to having a child.

"Yes it is better, because this is our home now," she smiled, brushing her lips across her temple as Grace wiggled down and ran from room to room. Besides Mark and Addison's room, there were two more bedrooms that had beds and some furniture in them. Mark and Addie had picked out their own furniture and such and were going to fix it up when they got there. There was a bathroom in the hallway and Meredith and Derek had their own bathroom with a shower and a tub.

Going across the hall, Meredith started to make her and Derek's bed, finishing it quickly and fluffing up the pillows. As much as she didn't want Seattle to be home, it quickly had become such and she sighed, throwing herself down on the pillows. Derek came in a few minutes later, raising a brow at her.

"You okay?" he said; Gracie had crawled into her bed and promptly fallen asleep for a nap.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking about how crazy life became and how different things could have been for us if it hadn't been for my mother. But you know, mother's get Alzheimer's and relive their residency and have to be in the city it happened, and I have to do what's best for her and our family," she sulked, rolling over and drawing her knees to her chest. He sat down and slipped an arm around her, holding her close.

"Mer, I don't resent moving here, and I would never resent you. This is one of the best surgical residency programs in the country, we both know that. I think we're going to be fine, plus you grew up in this house, sort of," he said with a smile, holding her close and locking her in a kiss.

"I love you, Mer, this Is going to work. We have jobs, Gracie will be in preschool, Addie and Mark arrive tomorrow. I think this is going to be better than you expect, I promise," he smiled, kissing her on the forehead before looking at the bed.

"What do you say we break this thing in?" he teased her as she smirked back, his arms moving to take off her shirt.

* * *

 **So somehow I managed to write a chapter without any breaks o.o weirds me out haha. Another filler chapter before Addison and Mark move in and they start at Seattle Grace! Can't wait to write that chapter ;) Haven't decided if I'm gonna used dialogue from the show or make up my own yet.**


	44. Ready To Start

On July 15th, Meredith woke up with a sense of dread. Today, she became a doctor. She became in charge of people's lives. The thought scared the crap out of her as she put on a pair of nice pants and a button up, slipping into flats. She straightened her hair and looked in the mirror, adding some makeup to make sure she looked okay. Derek was in the shower and she could hear the other shower going, so she went across the hall to get Grace ready, dressing her in leggings and a t-shirt with sneakers.

"Today mommy and daddy become doctors, we'll be able to fix all your boo-boo's and ouchies," she smiled at her, before taking her downstairs for breakfast. Breakfast was really Derek's thing and she knew he'd want to make waffles or something, but for now she scattered cheerios and some fruit on Grace's high chair tray until Derek came downstairs, before starting a pot of coffee, anxiously drumming her fingers on the counter top. Finally he came downstairs and gave both of them a kiss before raising a brow.

"Waffles, ladies?" he smiled, and Meredith relaxed slightly.

"Yes please," she said, turning on her stool to face him as he made waffles for all five occupants of the house; Addison and Mark came down halfway through waffle making. Addison seemed much more relaxed then the rest of them.

"How are you so relaxed? We're doctors now. We're responsible for other people. What if we screw up and they die? That's on us," she said, wanting a huge glass of tequila right now.

"That's why we're interns and not in charge of people on our first day, dumbass," Addison rolled her eyes. "We get to watch and listen but no surgery," she shrugged.

Soon it was time to go and they piled into separate cars, since Meredith and Derek had to drop Grace off at preschool. She had begrudgingly asked Thatcher and Susan to pick her up, since their first shift was 48 hours, and she hoped she wouldn't put up a fight, being with the grandparents she barely knew.

After dropping her off they sped to the hospital, not wanting to be late for the tour, and Meredith halted when she realized it was Richard Webber who was Chief. She remembered him from when she was a child, before they moved to Boston.

"You must be Meredith Grey," he told her with a smile, which she returned.

"You look just like your mother." Meredith didn't know how she felt about that as she and Derek found Addie and mark in the crowd of interns. They were given a tour of the hospital before being led to the locker room and told to change into scrubs and given their assignments.

"I have the Nazi," Meredith complained to Derek and her friends. They were all under other residents and she was jealous. People around her, people she vaguely remembered from her days at Yale, whipped their head around.

"I have her too," and Asian girl said, as well as a bubbly blonde, a tough looking guy, and a guy who seemed like a puppy and a pushover. She raised her eyebrows at Derek as she took in everything, nervous and scared. Suddenly she heard her name being called and she stood up, kissing Derek before she ran to meet Dr. Bailey, her resident.

"I have five rules. Memorize them. Rule 1: Don't bother sucking up. I already hate you. That's not going to change. Trauma protocol, phone lists, pagers. Nurses will page you. You answer every page at a run. A run, that's rule 2. Your first shift starts now and last 48 hours. You're interns, grunts, nobodies, bottom of the surgical food chain. Run labs, write orders, work every second and night until you drop and don't complain. On call rooms, attendings hog them; sleep when you can, where you can. Which brings me to rule 3: If I'm sleeping don't wake me unless your patient is actually dying. Rule 4: The dying patient better not be dead when I get there. Not only would you have killed someone, you would have waked me for no good reason. Are we clear? Rule 5: When I move, you move.

Meredith balked at the rules, before her pager went off and she was off running with her fellow interns, following Bailey to the ambulance bay where there two two oncoming ambulences. She wondered what happened to Derek, Addie, and Mark as suddenly there were real life patients in front of her and someone called her Dr. Shepherd. It took her a moment to realize that was her as they rushed into trauma room one, the five interns stepping back as they watched the doctors do their jobs. She was called up to watch, gloved and masked, a trauma gown on as they assessed the mans wounds. Meredith pointed out something vital, to the praise of Dr. Bailey, who commented that maybe she didn't get the stupid interns this year, as Meredith smirked behind her mask.

At the same time neuro popped in and asked for an intern, and Cristina and Meredith were sent along with him to the helipad. On their way, the two women got to know each other.

"So where'd you graduate from?" the other woman asked, and Meredith bit on her lip.

"Dartmouth. My husband and I went there," she said, knowing Cristina was sizing her up. She probably got a strike off for having a husband, and she knew if anyone knew she had a daughter it would be another strike.

"Stanford," Christina said proudly, but Meredith's New England upbringing made her shrug. She appreciated the Ivies a hell of a lot more.

"I'm from Boston," she replied with a nice smile as a teenage girl was lifted from the helipad, seizing and completely out of it. They were briefed on her case before he was admitted and brought to a room, and suddenly Meredith had her first patient. Once she stopped seizing, Meredith was in charge of her, taking her to CT and getting completely lost. Finally they arrived there and she had the chance to see Derek, sneaking in a kiss.

"Is your resident as crazy as mine?" she whispered outside the CT room, and he laughed.

"Yes, probably. Jumping through hoops and running after a cardio attending and there's talk of the most promising intern doing an appy," he grinned and she wiggled her eyebrows.

"Ooh la la," she smirked, as Katie finished up in the CT.

"Gotta get this one back to her room," she said with an eyeroll as she was transferred back to her bed and Meredith pushed her bed to the elevator and back to her room on the neuro floor.

* * *

At lunchtime, Meredith landed in her seat, plopping her tray down at the table with Addie, Mark, and Derek.

"Katie is a pain in the ass, I want to smother her with a fucking pillow," she said, shoving fries into her mouth and washing it down with diet coke. They all looked at her and she looked uop.

"What?" she asked, tying her hair back.

"At least you have a patient, we're running labs or the code team," and she shrugged her shoulders a bit, biting into chicken nuggets.

"I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing, or where I'm going, and I'm always getting yelled at," she said, waving a chicken nugget in the air. Derek gently put her hand down, laughing a bit.

"Yeah I think we all do. So far this first day sucks," he said and she pouted a bit.

"This girl Cristina and I are on the same case but we can't figure out what's wrong with our patient. She keeps seizing and her scans were clean. Get this – she competes in beauty pageants," Meredith said with a roll of her eyes. Of course she felt superior, she went to freaking Yale and Dartmouth, she didn't need to pull petty tricks to get forward in the world, she was a doctor.

"Wait…that's it!" she cried out, running out of the café and leaving her try behind.

"Mer! Derek called, but she didn't hear him as she ran to find her neuro attending.

"Dr. Travis, I think I know what's wrong with Katie," she said breathlessly as Cristina came up at her side.

"Really? How interesting Dr. Shepherd," he said, and Meredith started him down.

"Do tell me your theories."

"A few weeks ago Katie fell and twisted her ankle. It was so minor that they hardly bothered to mention it on her history. But what if she fell and an aneurism burst?"

"That would be one in a million, Dr. Shepherd," he said, turning to walk away. Sighing, he turned around to the two hovering interns.

"Go see if she's one in a million," he said, signaling that they could take her to MRI.

* * *

Meredith found herself in the OR a few hours later, wondering how she got there. Sheer dumb luck, really, she thought, as she observed Dr. Travis work on Katie's brain.

"Would you like to look, Dr. Shepherd?" she was asked, and after a moment she moved past all the other doctors in the OR and got a good look inside the girls brain as he fixed the bleed. Meredith smiled behind her mask – the past 48 hours hadn't been as ridiculous as she had thought they would be, but she was beyond tired.

After the surgery, she made her way to the tunnels and leaned against the wall, sliding down as she texted Derek to meet her. It was finally time to go home but she needed a moment.

After a few minutes she could hear him coming and she smiled, turning to live with him.

"Why does anyone do drugs when they can be surgeons?" she asked him, and he laughed, picking her up in his arms before giving her a kiss.

"So it was a good first shift?" he asked her, and she smiled, nodding.

"I got to see an open brain today. I think – no, I know – I want to be a neurosurgeon. Who did the intern appy?" she asked and he smiled.

"I got to, so we're even on surgeries," he laughed as they headed towards the elevator to change to leave for the night. Grace was still with Thatcher and they needed to pick her up, feed themselves and her, and get to bed to get ready for tomorrow, but overall it had been a fantastic 48 hours. She'd had her first taste for surgery and she craved it.

* * *

 **48 hours are down! Our babies went from Freshman year all the way to their first shift!**


	45. Heroes

Meredith felt like she was going insane in her first week at work. She hated leaving Grace, she hated the people she worked with, and she hated working at Seattle Grace, knowing her mother had done her residency and that she had been born there. It just felt bad all-around to her. She yearned to see Derek more during the day, more than just snatches between patients and at lunch, and sneaky on-call room times, and she wanted to see more of Addison and Mark. She had found a friend in Cristina, who she vaguely remembered from when they were at Yale, but Izzie and George drove her insane and Alex was an asshole, even stooping as low as calling Meredith a nurse.

"I did not go through four years at Yale AND four years at Dartmouth to be called a nurse," she seethed, grabbing a chart and storming away. Okay, maybe she was exhausted and her nerves were frayed at the ends and she really wanted a day at home with Derek and Grace, but no one was going to call her a nurse and get away with it. She stormed off with her chart to the tunnels and climbed onto a gurney, taking a pen from her pocket and starting to fill in the chart with precise handwriting, straining her eyes in the dim lighting of the tunnels. Sighing, she texted Derek with her location and soon she could hear him walking down the abandoned hallway towards her. She looked up from one of her charts and smiled, pulling her hair back from her face.

"Hey, It feels like forever since I've seen you," she smiled as she set aside the chart she was working on as Derek sat beside her. He offered her a bag of chips and she laughed, laying her head on his shoulder as she opened them.

"Total romantic dinner, so much better than what I can make at home," she laughed, extending her legs out so she was no longer sitting on them.

"Yeah well, I discovered a lot of loose change in my wallet so Mark and I raided the vending machines and then divided what we got between us. He went to find Addie, who's on cloud nine because she's been on OB all week. We've been on scut, it sucks. What about you?" Meredith shrugged and motioned to her pile of charts.

"Bailey hates me. I've been charting all week. I'm beginning to think she just likes my handwriting because it's neat and clean and she can actually read my handwriting among everyone else's bullshit," she shrugged, leaning her head back against the brick wall. He laughed and wrapped his arms around her.

"I just hate the other interns. They act so…I don't know how to explain it. Apparently your group is the best, everyone is jealous of you and that Cristina girl." Meredith smirked before looking up at him.

"Really? Why?" she asked, kicking her legs back and forth.

"Well, everyone figured out who your mother is," There it was. She rolled her eyes, knowing everyone saw her as surgical royalty and would probably hit her up and try and be her best friend now. Ugh. It was like Yale and Dartmouth all over again. She was so not taking anyone's crap.

"And then everyone found out you scrubbed in on surgery your first day, and that you and Cristina are already joined at the hip and troll for surgeries every day.."

"That isn't true! Okay it's half true. She does. I like learning. And presenting. But she's chasing cardio and I swear she's doing the attending already," she laughed, not exactly sure what was going on there and not exactly sure if she wanted to know. She rolled her eyes slightly; she was glad she had Derek and didn't' have to chase after anyone in the hospital.

"What's your favorite specialty so far?" she asked him, laying with her head across his lap.

"Neuro. Hands down. The ability to work on someone's brain and save their life that way…I find it badass. What about you?" Meredith contemplated this for a moment. She wasn't much in the way of Cardio, PEDS was too scary for her, being a mother, plastics was more Mark's scope, ortho didn't interest her….she knew everyone expected her to go into General because of her mother but she just didn't know, and it drove her crazy how mostly everyone knew, two weeks into their internships.

"I honestly don't know. I like neuro, I like general. I feel like if my mother knew I didn't know what specialty to go into yet, she'd judge me for it," she shrugged, rolling her eyes. She hated that it was the truth, but what was, was. Her mother was hardcore; that's how she was so famous.

* * *

The next day, Meredith was dead on her feet, having slept in a tiny on-call room bed with Derek. She felt like she needed to hook herself up to an IV drip of coffee to keep herself awake as she and Cristina rounded on patients with Dr. Bailey, although Cristina was much more awake than she was.

"So why are you so tired? Did you have sex with McDreamy all night?" Meredith had mentioned they used to call Derek 'McDreamy' at Yale, and the nickname had swept the hospital. Of course, Derek loved it and he teased her for bringing it back.

"No! Well okay, maybe twice. Ugh. I was up worrying about our daughter," she admitted, and Cristina eyed her.

"You two have a daughter?" she hissed, and Mer knew she shouldn't have said it.

"Yes, her name is Grace, she's three. I was a first year med student, it was right after we got married," she said in a whisper as they walked down the halls. She regarded Cristina and made a face.

"Just because I'm a mother doesn't make me any less a good doctor," she stated as they headed into a patients room. Cristina regarded her.

"I wasn't saying you're any less of a doctor because you have a child," Cristina said, and Meredith gazed at her.

"No, you're just saying I'm soft, or that I'm distracted," she said, raising a brow at her, as if she was challenging her.

"I am not! But it must suck being away from her all the time. Me? I don't want kids, they just get in the way" she said, and Meredith shrugged.

"We want more but we're waiting a bit. Our friends want one but they're waiting because intern year sucks," she shrugged again, eyeing Derek as he passed them in the hall and she sighed. What she wouldn't give for five minutes right now. At least they had Saturday off and were taking Grace out together; they had been lucky enough to get the same day off.

* * *

Saturday came and before Meredith realized it, she had slept in until ten. Weak sunshine was filtering in through the curtains and she climbed out of bed, heading downstairs in her yoga pants and Dartmouth shirt, finding Grace and Derek in the living room. The rest of the house was empty, with Addison and Mark at work, and Mer grinned as she watched Derek and Grace play before Grace noticed her.

"Mommy!" she shrieked, and Meredith grinned, scooped up her daughter in her arms.

"Hey princess, mommy's missed you all week! Have you been good for Poppa and Susan?" she asked and Grace nodded.

"Susan makes yummy food, and Poppa tells funny stories about my Aunties," she giggled. Mer was proud of Grace, who spoke like a tiny adult, and she spoke back to her like she was an adult. Really, she hated baby talk and had only done it before she could talk. She loved that her daughter was advanced and they had real conversations.

"What have you and daddy done while I was asleep?" she asked, smirking.

"Daddy made pancakes!" she laughed, and Mer grinned.

"Ooh Der, any pancakes left?" she smiled as he planted a kiss on her lips, going into the kitchen.

"Going to make you some right now dear," he said, as Meredith and Grace followed him into the kitchen.

* * *

They spent the day at Waterfront Park, with Grace climbing all over the statues, or trying to at least. They took photos and Meredith helped her climb, the three of them having a great time before they headed over to Pike Place Market to grab dinner. It had been a long day and Grace was tired, but it had been Meredith's favorite day as a family since they'd moved to Seattle. They'd gotten to explore more of where they'd lived, the three of them together, outside the hospital and Meredith smiled as Derek drove the three of them home, flat out exhausted herself as she bathed Grace and wrestled her into bed, before taking her own shower and collapsing into bed. She had to be a surgeon again in the morning.

* * *

 **Again, I'm so sorry I'm being slow with things! Super super sick but trying to churn out chapters as fast as I can. I LOVE you guys and I'll never stop writing until I run out of ideas!**


	46. Don't

It had been a month since they'd started at Seattle Grace, and Meredith was starting to ease into things. What she would never get used to, however, was the other interns talking about how sexy and hot Derek was. It pissed her off, frankly, especially since everyone knew he was married and everyone knew she was his wife. She couldn't avoid it, however, and walked around the hospital like she couldn't hear it at all. That was what she did best these days; avoid what she hated, and that included scut work. She was almost always on General these days and while she liked it, she still felt uncomfortable working with Richard; she kept wondering if he knew the full story of what happened with her and her mother once he refused to leave his wife.

It was punishment to be sent to the ER, to care for sniffles and do sutures for painfully long shifts, but that was where Meredith found herself one Friday evening. The ER was quiet and she was bored as she sat behind the nurses station with her phone, sexting Derek who was somewhere in the halls upstairs. She had a smirk on her face when she felt the presence of someone standing over her and she looked up. Yuck, it was Alex.

"So I'm sorry I called you a nurse. Are you free for dinner this weekend?" Oh. He was asking her out. Double yuck. Suddenly, she got severely pissed off and held up her left hand.

"I'm not sure why you haven't noticed, but I'm married. He's an intern here, just like you, and every other person knows I'm married, even if they don't respect it," she snapped, getting up and heading over to a new patient that had just been brought in. What was with people here? She had never felt more disrespected in her life as she huffed over to her patient, arriving with a smile as she assessed the little girl.

* * *

She and Derek got off at 6 AM, and Meredith stormed around the locker room as she changed. Derek raised an eyebrow at her as she pulled her shirt over her head and slipped her feet into her flats.

"Who pissed you off?" he teased her, and she sat down on the bench, running a brush though her hair.

"Alex Karev. He asked me to dinner. Normally I'd be flattered, but first off he seems to be making his way through not only the interns but also the nurses, and now he fails to see the fact that I'm fucking married," she bitched, twisting her dirty hair into a bun. Derek sighed and grabbed her hand as she slung her bag over her shoulder. He pulled her into a kiss in front of whoever was in the locker room, leaving her smiling.

"There. Now everyone knows you're mine. And they can talk, and spread rumors, but your last name is Shepherd so it's not going to go very far," he promised her, as she laced her fingers with his. They walked out of the hospital together and headed for the car, taking the short way home as the city woke up. Grace was with Susan and Thatcher, Meredith lamented, but they had to be back at work by 6 pm again.

* * *

The next night was better; Meredith was pulled into a liver transplant surgery while Derek had been picked to scrub in on a craniotomy. Meredith felt pleased with herself; she was allowed to do something more than just stand in the back and stand on her tip toes. Today she was up at the table handling instruments; it was a step closer to actually doing surgery and she was on a high. After scrubbing out, she headed towards the cafeteria, always open late at night. On her way she crashed into Addison.

"Ouch! Oh, hey!" she said with a smile. Addison looked like she was in a daze.

"Are you okay Addie?" she laughed, looking at her friend, and Addie smiled and laughed.

"I kind of delivered my first baby tonight," she grinned, her cheeks flushed pink. Mer knew how badly she wanted to go into this field so she threw her arms around her.

"That's so exciting, congratulations!" she cried out with a smile, hugging her tightly. Addie hugged her back as the two women headed to get food. Meredith sent a quick text to Derek, but she figured he was still in surgery as the girls sat down with food. Meredith was exhausted and wanted to fall asleep at the table, and it took everything in her not to close her eyes. Being an intern was stressful and exhausting. If she hadn't spent eight years studying to a doctor she would probably quit.

Eventually she made her way to an on-call room to lay down, putting her pager right next to her head so that she wouldn't miss anything, but she fell into an easy sleep. She didn't even notice when Derek slipped in and curled his body around her, but she unconsciously adjusted her body to match his.

* * *

They slept for a precious two hours before Meredith's pager went off: 911 for her liver transplant patient. She pulled herself out of bed and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes before running through the halls towards the patients room, only to find her vomiting up blood. Shit. Meredith wracked her brain for the only conclusion; she was rejecting the liver. Punching some buttons, she called a few codes.

"Page Bailey!" she called out as she did everything she knew how to, but when Bailey came in she was thankfully brushed aside, left to watch what was going on before her. After a few minutes she walked out, sick to her stomach as she kept walking, downstairs and out the front door as she leaned over, throwing up the contents of her stomach. These were the types of things she hated, when things didn't work out for the patient. But she knew she had signed up for better or for worse and she had taken an oath. Some days were simply better than others.

* * *

 **I apologize for the crappy quality of this chapter! I have a plan for the next one though just bear with me guys!**


	47. The Christmas Tree

It was nearing Christmas and Meredith still hated being an intern. She and Cristina had teamed up together finally and had become friends, since they had the same resident. The two women had become inseparable, helping each other out with their cases and paper work. Cristina was chasing cardio and Meredith knew she was having sex with Burke, but she kept her mouth shut. Meredith herself was chasing Neuro, as was Derek, and she loved being with him when they were on the the same cases, working together to figure everything out. There was no other feeling to her than solving a difficult surgical case with her husband.

In the middle of working all the time, they were finding time to see Grace, who was getting bigger and bigger every day. She was able to talk more and in full sentences, and Meredith was proud of her daughter, who was growing up without it. She knew once she was no longer an intern, things wouldn't be as crazy; she just had six more months and her intern test.

* * *

Their first Christmas in Seattle was wonderful. They both were given off Christmas Eve and Christmas, and had decorated the house crazily with Addison and Mark – they hadn't spent Christmas with them since their days at Yale, and it was nice to wrap presents and stick them under the tree, especially for Grace. She had been so excited about Santa coming, and so concerned about whether she had been good or bad this year that it had made Meredith laugh.

So Christmas Eve, the fearsome foursome sat around the living room and drank; the boys had their classic drink of egg nog while the girls swirled wine in their glasses. They were all waiting for the Shepherds to get in from New York, but a snowstorm had delayed their flight until the next morning, which made Meredith pout because she missed her crazy sisters, but it was a quiet Christmas Eve, even with a storm pounding against the windows. Grace was tucked away in her bed, sleeping soundly and waiting for Santa as the adults finished wrapping her presents and putting them under the tree. Afterwards they put on a movie, National Lampoons Christmas Vacation, drinking more and more. Meredith knew her daughter would be awake early but she didn't care, she was enjoying being off work for the holiday and being with her friends. One by one though, starting with Addison, they went to bed, until it was only Meredith left. She fussed with the tree and the other decorations around the house, cleaning the kitchen and doing their dishes from that evening. She was excited and hoped that their family could make it by morning.

Eventually she went to bed, curling up in yogas and her Dartmouth shirt, and immediately she felt Dereks arms around her. The storm was still battering the house but she didn't care, she was just happy to be home with Derek, Grace across the hall.

* * *

At 6 AM Christmas morning, there was a banging on the door, and Meredith was roused from her deep sleep. She wasn't the first one to the door though; Addison was.

"Amelia!" she said happily to the 21 year old, and Amelia smiled, looking exhausted.

"Everyone come in, there are bedrooms upstairs, claim one"! she smiled, and Meredith watched as Amelia, with bleery, red eyes, claimed the one next to her and Derek's room while the other three sisters and their families claimed others, along with Carolyn. Everyone settled in for a short nap while Grace was still asleep, although Meredith and Derek went downstairs and started coffee and breakfast for everyone.

Pancakes, French toast, and waffles were made, warming on the stove as Meredith pulled a pan of cinnamon swirl muffins out of the oven. Eventually the promise of food and coffee pulled everyone out of bed and to the kitchen as they filled their plates and coffee mugs, heading into the dining room to eat. Meredith balanced her plate and Grace's, feeding both of them at the same time and enjoying just being around their family and being in the same room as everyone.

Once they were all finished eating and the dishes were in the dishwasher, Meredith looked down at Grace.

"Hey Grace, Santa came last night," she smiled, and Grace's face lit up with joy before she climbed off Meredith's lap.

"Mommy I want to open my presents!" she shrieked; all the other little kids had already opened theirs at home the night before. She laughed an got up from the table, taking her tiny hand and letting her lead her into the living room with a smile.

"Are all these for me?" she asked, and Meredith laughed.

"Not all, some of them are for mommy and daddy and the family but a lot of them Santa left for you," she told her not-so-patient three year old.

"Can I open them?" she said with wide eyes, and Meredith looked up to see the family piling into the living room, and Meredith nodded.

"The ones wrapped in the Frozen paper is yours, Santa must know how much you love Frozen," she grinned, giving her back a little pat before she starting tearing into her presents and shrieking about how much she loved everything. Meredith couldn't help but laugh as she viciously tore at the wrapping paper and Derek filmed it, the rest of the family watching her. She was adorable and Meredith sat by her, taking toys out of boxes because the little miss demanded it, and when she was done Grace climbed in her arms.

"Mama I wanna say thank you to Santa," she said matter of factly, and Meredith laughed.

"We can write a letter with Nana and your cousins later today," Mer smiled, hugging her little girl tightly, as Mark stuffed all the wrapping paper that Meredith had painstakingly wrapped and taped into place into a trash bag. It had definitely been no match for a three year old.

* * *

The adults sat around and eventually brunch was ready, with pastries galore and even more delicious foods. They sat around the table and talked about past Christmases at the big house in New York, and Meredith laughed while Derek laughed.

"Well next year Mer and I will have our own house that I've drawn up plans for and it's going to spectacular. A lot of bedrooms, a pool. We have land and it overlooks most of the city and it's gorgeous." He smiled at his family proudly, knowing that their time in Seattle would be great. He couldn't wait for it to be warm again and not muddy and raining every day so they could break ground. Mark and Addison were looking for their own place; they were all growing up and moving out on their own again, and soon enough they'd be taking their intern exams and become residents.

* * *

 **Glad I got another chapter banged out so soon after Someone Like You! I'm so sorry it's taking so long; my disease took a turn for the worse so I'm always tired but writing makes me so happy! I'll update all fics this week :D**


	48. Hello again!

Hey everyone! I've missed all of you SO MUCH and I think I'm finally healthy enough to return to writing/updating fics for all of you! So much has happened in my life, I've lost so much, but in return I've gained so much more. Here's what's happened since I last posted a note:

I lost 35 pounds due to my gastroparesis, and as an already tiny, almost underweight person, it shoved me under the edge to severely underweight. But I'll return to that in a bit.

I had surgery on my stomach, a procedure called a pyloryplasty, to cut open the muscle that forces your stomach to contract every 2-3 minutes and helps food pass through. Now, when/if I eat, my food flows freely through and it's easier for my food to digest – which helps a lot, because we learned through a stomach emptying test that my food digests slowly, at a mere 12%. My digestive system is failing but it still works, albeit slowly.

So, last time I posted, I was barely able to eat, and was losing weight rapidly. I had no energy which is why I had to step back from writing, because my brain simply couldn't handle it anymore. I was so upset I couldn't write for you guys! When I went in for surgery, I weighed 101 pounds. I was in the hospital for 5 days after my surgery, and recovered quickly. However, 36 hours after being at home, I couldn't stop throwing up the 1/4th of a smoothie I had managed to drink, and I was admitted to the ICU at the hospital. They put in an NG (nasal-gastric) drainage tube in my nose going into my stomach, because there was a blockage in my stomach going into my small bowel (gross, right?) and I was diagnosed with something called SMA syndrome. Basically, I had lost too much weight in too little time, and a major artery had lost fatty tissue and simply collapsed on top of the area where the stomach meets the small bowel.

I was transported to the hospital where my GI doctor and surgeon were, and placed in THEIR ICU, and was on so much pain medication every hour just to make myself slightly more comfortable. Nothing helped with the pain. A few days later they placed what's called a GJ tube in my stomach, the G portion drains your stomach if it's backed up and you feel sick, and the J portion goes into your jejunum and is where you get feeds. It was a disaster from the start, with the J portion clogging straight away. It decided to stay clogged, no matter how hard they tried to unclog it (it would get unclogged for a few hours, and the next time they went to use it for feedings, medicine, etc, it would be clogged again.) So that was a disaster but after 22 days in the hospital, I got sent home on 9/8 – a day before my 27th birthday!

I luckily got to be home for my birthday, even if my birthday cake had to be brought up to me at my bedside because I was too sick and in too much pain to go downstairs, but I was surrounded by my parents, siblings, and nieces and nephews. However, the following Monday I landed myself in the ER with vomiting and severe pain, and was released Tuesday. Being so strong-willed, I made it to my classes Wednesday! My professors were impressed with how resilient I am, and proud of me. I should note that this entire time, the head of my dance program was doing everything she could to make sure that I could complete the semester, even though I came back 3 weeks into the semester. I seriously love this woman, and owe her so much. She is so determined and so caring, and emailed or texted me every single day that I was in the hospital and kept my spirits up, and is even allowing me to choreograph two dances this semester! One is a group piece and one is a solo, showcasing my 15 year struggle with anorexia. So far both pieces are going great!

So the Thursday after my birthday, I went and had my fourth endoscopy of the year, where I got the GJ tube out, and they placed a PICC line in my left arm. A PICC line is just a fancy term for a permanent IV/central line; if everything goes right with it you can have them for months or years. I began on TPN feedings, or total parenteral nutrition, which I carried around in a backpack while it infused and disconnected when it was time to dance. I needed to gain and reach 110 pounds; my lowest weight I had reached was 93. I'm currently 102, because unfortunately yesterday we discovered that my PICC had become infected, and it had to be pulled out. My GI doctor decided that I didn't need another one, and of course I'm losing weight like crazy, and my life is just one giant mess.

It doesn't help that I received two more diagnoses this past week: dysautonomia and POTS, which go hand in hand. Dysautonomia means that nerves in my briain don't send proper signals to places in my body, causing things to go wrong, which could be an explanation for my brittle diabetes, my gastroparesis, my severe migraines, and many other things. POTS stands for posterior orthostatic tachycardia syndrome, which basically means I have severe tachycardia. My resting heartrate when I'm sitting or lying down is usually in the 120's or 130's. For a normal person, their resting heartrate is usually around 90`100. When I dance it can go up into the 170's. which is dangerous but I've been given no restrictions which I'm happy about, but we'll see what a more specialized cardio tells me.

Throughout all of this I'm trying to stay positive and move on and be happy about this. I'm planning a trip to Disney with my best friend for spring break, and I'm going to NYC this weekend for comic con. I'm trying to live my life without limits, the way that chronically ill people try to live, because for now my only limit is my racing heartbeat and the way my body constantly feels like crap. But hopefully as I see doctors, things will slowly be explained and medication will be able to help me.

Either way, like I said, I'm definitely ready to come back and write more chapters for you guys! I've missed these characters so much and I've missed writing for you, and making you guys happy.

Look out for new chapters in ALL of my stories in this upcoming week!

XX Emilia


	49. Meet Me Halfway

After Christmas, time seemed to flow by. Meredith was learning so much and so fast that sometimes she felt she couldn't keep up. Grace was almost four, and in no time at all she was getting ready for her intern test. All the interns they had befriended were always in their house, studying for the test, Grace entertaining them before she went to bed, and soon enough Meredith found herself in the testing room, sitting behind Derek – alphabetically, of course – taking the most important test of her intern year. Walking out afterwards, she felt confident that she had passed, and over the next few weeks she let the test leave her head.

* * *

Getting the results of their intern tests back was crazy. They were handed out in the locker room and everything went wild for awhile, as people ripped open their envelopes. Meredith made her way towards Derek, trying not to step on anyone, the look on her face ecstatic as she found him in the mess.

"Derek, I passed!" she shrieked, as he caught her in a kiss, smiling.

"I did too! We're officially residents and have our own interns in 15 days," he laughed, picked her up and spinning her around. She was thrilled, wrapping her arms around him. So they had survived intern year, finally, and over her shoulder she could spy Mark and Addison celebrating as well. Even better, she smiled to herself. There was bound to be a celebration at their house tonight.

She had to get through the rest of the day though, when Bailey told them they were done, they had 15 days off. Meredith and Derek didn't have to be told twice; they grabbed their things and rushed to get Grace, before heading home with her, eager for 15 days alone with her.

* * *

Over break they took Grace back to New York, to visit the Shepherd clan. It was summer so they visited they beach house in the Hamptons, and for the first time in her life, Grace dipped her toes in the ocean. For the rest of their over two week vacation, she couldn't be kept out of the water, and Meredith, Derek, or one aunt or another was always running after her in the water, or keeping her occupied in the wet sand by the shore, building her sandcastles and laughing with her when the waves toppled them down. Meredith couldn't help but laugh at her four year old; she could remember being young and visiting Martha's Vineyard as a child with her nanny and running around on the beach, and Grace reminded her so much of herself it was crazy.

Unfortunately 15 days was too quick, and they flew by in a flash, before they found themselves boarding a plane back to Seattle. Grace cried as she said goodbye to her Nana and cousins, clinging to Derek as they boarded the long flight back to Seattle.

Once at home, Grace fell asleep quickly as Meredith and Derek unpacked, getting ready for their first day of residency the next day – and interns of their own.

* * *

Meredith floated into the hospital on July 15th and headed to the locker room, before realizing she was a resident now. She diverted her route to the residents lounge, finding a new lab coat hanging in one of the cubbies next to Dereks. She couldn't help but smile as she changed into scrubs, slipping into the new labcoat and hanging her stethoscope around her back, braiding her hair away from her face and slipping a scrub cap into her pocket. She was higher than an intern, finally.

Heading out into the hallway, Bailey handed her a sip of paper with her interns names on them. She scanned the list with a sigh, a name catching her eye. Alexandra Grey. Lexie was one of her interns! It must've been a mistake, but she wasn't going to correct anyone. She fled to the intern lockerroom with glee, tucking her things into the pockets of her fresh new labcoat with a smile on the way.

Walking in the door, she caught Lexie's eye with a smile.

"So you're my intern," she grinned, wrapping her arms around her little sister. The rest of her interns filled in around her and she rattled off Bailey's rules.

"I have five rules. Memorize them. Rule one, don't bother sucking up, I already hate you, that's not going to change. Rule two, you have pagers. The nurses will page you, and you answer the pagers on a RUN, people. Rule three, if I'm sleeping, don't wake me unless the patient is actually dying. Rule four, the dying patient better not be dead when I get there. And rule five…when I move you move!" she barked out, and fortunately at that moment their pagers went off, and they fled to the ER.

* * *

Lunchtime was fun; she sat down at the table with her usual table and started bitching.

"I have the stupidest interns, except for Lexie. I don't even know how I ended up with my sister," she said, stabbing into her salad. The rest of the group agreed, rolling their eyes.

"My intern almost fainted watching a c-section today," Addison stated, rolling her eyes, sipping on her diet coke as the rest laughed.

"It's not funny! They're so dumb and wide eyed, like Bambi, it's hilarious," she laughed, as they all traded stories about their interns. It was like that every single day, lunch after lunch, month after month, as they exchanged stories about their crazy interns and what went on in their resident lives.

* * *

A few months later, and a few careless weeks, Meredith realized she skipped her period. She backtracked and with wide eyes, realized she might be pregnant. Grabbing Addison into a storage closet at work, she told her the news. Like she figured, Addison was ecstatic.

"But Mer, you're having a baby! Again!" she said, and Meredith glared at her. Residency was already difficult; doing it pregnant and raising two children at the same time was going to be difficult. And that was when she realized it.

"Oh my god you're pregnant Addison!" she shrieked, jumping up and down in the closet. Addison hastily clapped a hand over her best friends mouth, forcing her to sit down.

"Shhh! I haven't told Mark yet, I've only had a blood test. But I am," she said, a smile spreading across her face. The two women spent the rest of their shift, undisturbed by pages or annoying interns, in that storage closet, rejoicing over both of their unplanned pregnancies, excited that they were doing it together this time.

* * *

 **So I wasn't going to have Meredith get pregnant again but then I realized Grace is almost 5 and that's a long time between kids! And I realized Addie being pregnant with her would be fun and they can stand together when everyone is mommy tracking them and it would be great! I'm so happy to be back and writing for you guys again Also, I had an idea to do an OMELIA BALLET AU, and include Amelia's addictions as many dancers are addicted to alcohol and pills! Tell me what you think? I'm going to write up the first chapter next, it'll start the same as my MerDer AU possibly, maybe not. Who knows when I go to write it! Read and review guys!**


	50. Relax please!

Guys relax! I made a mistake and uploaded the wrong chapter, it's very obvious! I deleted the chapter and put it to the right story. I'm currently updating this story. Please stop pointing out the mistake as it's obvious I made one.

I AM CURRENTLY WRITING THE CORRECT CHAPTER TO CLEAR UP YOUR CONFUSION. Relax please as it is stressing me out.


	51. Trippin' on Sunshine

Being pregnant with her second child was so different to Meredith. For one, the morning sickness was worse. As a resident, she had a certain amount of freedom but at the same time she was supposed to be logging hours in the OR and teaching her interns, not spending her day with her head in the toilet. Addison was the exact opposite; she was glowing already, happily settling into her role of the pregnant OBGYN resident. Meredith despised her best friend. Absolutely despised her. Pregnancy hated her, it absolutely wrecked her body in the first trimester, and it didn't help that she and Addie were only a week apart, with Meredith being a week behind her.

Sighing as she left a bathroom for the umpteenth time that day, she was still trying to figure out how to tell Derek she was pregnant. Her stomach was starting to pop already, even at barely 8 weeks – only because she had been pregnant before with Grace. It was too cliché to stick Grace in a big sister shirt, she considered writing it on a cake though since his birthday was coming up. Ultrasound photos were always cute, especially since she had an arsenal from whenever she and Addie decided to play with the ultrasound machines.

It seemed like she and Derek always had opposite schedules now, which were great for Grace, but not great for them. She barely saw him now, so she took an opportunity on a random Wednesday night to declare it date night. It was high time he learned about baby number two. She woke up that morning feeling exhausted, but pushed herself to the limit. She started to clean the house, starting with the laundry and getting a few loads in, glad Grace was at preschool and Derek was at work until 4. She had time to be lazy and pamper herself, as she took a long bath and did her nails and toenails after, styling her hair and picking out a dress that wasn't tight and didn't show off her stomach. It fell loosely around her and she was glad for that; it was August in Seattle now and they were in the middle of a heat wave, in a house with no air conditioning.

Starting dinner around 2, she stuck a chicken in the oven to roast, trying to remember when and how she had ended up with any cooking skills at all, remembering back to that night at Yale when she had made Derek dinner for their first date. She smiled; it was so long ago. Setting the dining room table with their wedding china, silver, and crystal, she smiled as she grabbed a new bottle of red wine and set it between the two plates. She figured she'd pour herself a glass and not drink it, or better yet, have it poured before he got home and her glass would be grape juice. The rest of the food was easy, and by the time Derek arrived home everything was in place, including the grape juice. She had ultrasound photos tucked into her dress pocket and she smiled as the glass front door slammed shut.

"Hey sweetie, how was work today?" she called out from the living room, and Derek stood in the open doorway with a smile.

"It wasn't terrible, I scrubbed in on a few surgeries, got to kick some interns asses," he laughed, and she laughed in return. She hated almost all of the interns, except Lexie of course. The rest of them were annoying as hell, and borderline stupid.

"Well I'm glad someone held a scalpel today, I was Miss Domestic and cleaned the house," she mused, getting up from the couch and giving him a kiss.

"I have dinner waiting but you can shower if you want," she told him, feeling flirty and excited, despite her underlying severe nausea. She had anti-emetics to take for her morning sickness, but they weren't doing much for her.

"Nah, I'll do dinner first, you clearly put effort into it," he told her, dropping his bag by the front door and pushing up the sleeves of his shirt. She led him into the dining room and he smiled at the candles and bottle of wine, looking at her.

"What's the occasion?" he asked her, and she merely shrugged.

"We haven't had a date in awhile, we barely see each other anymore because of residency. I wanted to do something special for you," she insisted, her stomach feeling fluttery. She resisted the urge to let her hands rest there, knowing that if she did she would give herself away. He took a seat and she brought in the food from the kitchen, eventually sitting down diagonally from him. They started to eat and he commented on the food.

"I have no idea how my little pampered Boston princess learned how to cook, but I'm glad you did because you're amazing at it," he teased her, and she couldn't help but laugh. It was true, she was a pampered princess, but that didn't mean she acted like one. She knew how to help herself and take care of herself. Clearing her throat, she smiled slightly, noting that he was distracted by his phone.

"So Der, I'm on this case that's really hard to figure out, I have some scans with me," she said, pulling out the ultrasound photos and gently placing them in his lap.

"I was hoping you'd be able to help me figure out what the results meant," she said slyly. There was no mistaking that they were ultrasound photos, especially since in the corner they said "SHEPHERD, MEREDITH E" and "BABY SHEPHERD" and "8 WEEKS" on them.

"Hmmm?" he said, before looking down at his lap, at the stack of ultrasound photos. He lifted them in his hands, studying each one – there were 6 photos total, showing hands, feet, the head etc. After a moment he looked over at Meredith in complete excitement.

"Meredith! Are you – are we – are we having another baby!?" he asked her, his blue eyes wide and shining. To her credit, she laughed lightly, nodding her head yes.

"Yes, yes we're having another baby. I only found out two weeks ago and I've been trying to figure out the best way to tell you. I'm so excited, I think Grace is going to be the best big sister, I'm hoping by the time the baby is born the house will be done. We can build a nursery by our room, and the other bedrooms can be farther away so no one else is bothered by the baby," she smiled, blushing slightly. She had clearly thought a lot about this. He reached for her hand drawing her in for a passionate kiss.

"I love you, Meredith. We're having another baby," he smiled, touching her bump lightly. She couldn't stop smiling, pressing her hand on top of his.

"We are, we're having another baby," she grinned, unable to stop smiling.

* * *

 **So now Derek knows! I have no idea what they're going to have, boy or girl! What do you guys think they should have? I want them to have another girl but I know a lot of you are going to want a boy!**

 **Also I'm so sorry for posting the wrong chapter earlier; I've been writing like crazy and didn't even realize I posted it until I got a bunch of reviews, which stressed me out like crazy, feeling like I had done something hugely and egregiously wrong by daring to post the wrong chapter. People make mistakes and I am not perfect. I'm just a girl with chronic illnesses that give her brain fog, causing her to make mistakes like that. Please do not continuously point out my mistake in a million comments next time because it affects me deeply. I whipped up this chapter because I felt bad that I made the mistake, plus I haven't updated this story in awhile. So again, I'm sorry I'm not perfect.**

 **This story is a year old! Oh my gosh! I can't believe it!**


	52. Castle On the Hill

At 16 weeks, the entire hospital knew of the two residents who were pregnant. For their credit, Addison and Meredith went around assigning the interns that gave them the most hell the worst jobs, while they managed to stay under their favorite services. Meredith flitted between general and neuro, while Addison stayed on OB/GYN, learning everything she could about the specialty and about her changing body with the baby. The two women only saw each other at home, but that was about to change – the new house was ready in time for Meredith and Derek, and Addison and Mark were going to stay in the old house for now.

One day after work, they picked up Gracie at preschool and headed over to the new house. It took forever to get there, including a trip on the ferryboat which was always an adventure with Grace, who wanted to climb up the barrier and peek into the water, always giving Meredith a heart attack. She also liked to run around the deck, tiring Meredith out with her bump or a stomach, swooping up the almost 5 year old into her arms and peppering her with kisses as she giggled like crazy.

Once the ferry had landed and they got back in their car, they drove aways into the woods before they came to a clearing. Meredith had wanted the house to be a surprise, and she was definitely surprise as Derek parked the car and she burst into a smile, looking up at the two story, open-plan house. It was full of huge, glass windows and made out of gorgeous wood, and she knew she was in love before she even stepped inside. Letting Grace out of the car to run around, she stepped inside the house, taking a deep breath – it smelled like cedar and everything was pristine and new, and absolutely breath taking. The kitchen, dining room, and living room all flowed into each other, with a room off the living room that was Gracie's playroom. She had found it immediately and started playing with new toys that Derek had tucked in there. Meredith started poking around the house, finding a more laid back family room at the back of the house, along with an office for the two of them, the laundry room, a library, and a downstairs guest bedroom and bathroom, along with a half bathroom in the hallway before she headed upstairs to explore there.

The first door she opened was their bedroom, and she delighted in the size, laying on the huge bed they'd picked out and someone had made up for them, and she smiled as she caught the size of the window over her dresser – it looked out over the edge of the clearing, the edge that looked out over the edge of the hill their land was on, that looked out over all of Seattle. It was absolutely beautiful. Forcing her pregnant self up, she walked across the hall and smiled – it was the nursery. There wasn't anything in there but a white crib and a white armoire and a white dresser, but the room was full of the weak Seattle sun and she smiled, imagining their baby in there. Next door was Grace's room, with a big girl bed for her with purple bedding and a pretty purple canopy on her made, making sure it was extra princess-y for her. She had a purple rocking chair in one corner, a neat white toy chest, and matching white furniture, the room decorated fit for Princess Grace. Meredith couldn't help but smile. Derek had gotten everything right. She knew the rest of the rooms were guest rooms or bathrooms and she'd see them soon enough, so she headed back downstairs to Derek, where he was leaning on the kitchen counter and texting someone.

"Der, the house….it's perfect," she said with a small smile. He stood up and tucked his phone into his pocket, putting a hand on her growing belly before drawing her in for a kiss.

"Nothing but the best for my queen and my princess, and future prince or princess," he smiled. She couldn't help but match his smile as she looked around again, spotting smaller details. He had moved their wedding china and crystal into a china cabinet in the dining room along with smaller trinkets they'd collected over the years; their diplomas and medical degrees hung on the walls of the living room, and family pictures dotted the walls as well. Somehow their new home already felt like home, despite the fact that they had yet to move in.

"So when do we move in?" she asked him, biting on her lip. She wanted to be in here as soon as possible.

"Well next weekend Mark and Addie took off, and we both have off as well, so I was thinking then," he smiled, giving her another kiss. She grinned, excited they could move in that soon.

* * *

The next weekend, their things in the old house had been packed up and moved to the new house. Being pregnant, Addison and Meredith were in charge of unpacking the boxes while the guys moved everything around. It wasn't too crazy luckily, especially since Grace had buried herself in her playroom, and Meredith and Addison were mainly unpacking clothes and dishes and such.

"I have to tell you, I'm totally jealous of your house Mer," Addie said, laughing. Meredith laughed and shrugged her shoulders.

"What can I say? He wanted to build us a house, it was something we always talked about in college, it was just something that he wanted to do for me. I know it was something he wanted to do once we settled down, you know? Build us a dream house. And my, it's definitely my dream house," she smiled as she sat on the ground in Grace's room, folding her tiny little four year old clothes. It saddened her; soon she was going to be five and she would be out of toddler clothes, but at the same time there was going to be a new baby, a new baby that they would soon learn the sex of.

They spent the whole weekend moving Meredith and Derek into the new house, and come Monday morning the couple made the drive to the hospital from the new house, ready to face their 20 week ultrasound and find out the sex of the baby. Their first stop of the day was OB, and Meredith was quickly whisked back to a room and put into a gown, relaxing on the exam table. The nurse took her vitals, and soon the doctor came in.

"Good morning Shepherds, are you excited to learn the gender of the baby?" Meredith smiled, squeezing Derek's hand as the doctor got the ultrasound under way.

"Here we go, here's baby. There's the head, the heart beat is pretty strong….ten toes, ten fingers…and ah here we go, baby is showing off today. It looks like you're having another girl!" Meredith looked up at Derek with surprise before she laughed, her hand on her chest before she drew him into a kiss.

"Looks like we're repeating your family so far," she smiled. He kissed her deeply, touching her bump with a smile.

"Hey, we're having tons of kids, I'll get my boys," he promised her.

"I love you and both of our princesses," he smiled to her, kissing her forehead.

* * *

 **So before you freak that she's having another girl, I used a website to do a coin toss so that it would be perfectly fair, an that's how it was decided! And I will do that for every baby because it's fair rather than deciding in my brain.**

 **Anyway I hope you liked my fluffy chapter! It's 5 am and I'm exhausted but wanted to finish this!**


	53. Authors Note

AN: Hey guys! Emilia here. I really would love to get back into writing as I miss it! My health is finally doing better and I miss these stories and these storylines like crazy! Do you want me to continue these existing stories or start fresh with new ones? I'm tempted to write Dreams on Fire again, since I'm not happy with the existing version and feel I could do so much better!

Please throw some ideas out there for me! In the meantime, I'm going to try and start updating some things for you amazing people 3


	54. Dream

In the next few weeks, Meredith's morning sickness started to ease up a bit. Normally it started to ease up for her around 12 weeks, but it was around the midway mark, 20 weeks, before she started to feel herself again. She had more energy, more pep in her step, and she was feeling great again. Of course, her belly was taken over by their daughter, kicking and rolling around in her amniotic sac as Meredith walked around the hospital doing her job, but she didn't mind. It felt nice to be adding onto the family again, especially since Grace was so much older now.

Every night before bed, Grace insisted on one story for her, and one story for her little sister. They both thought it was adorable but at the same time it was exhausting, doing two stories. That was just her life now, she felt – pure exhaustion. Meredith wouldn't change anything about it, however.

* * *

Residency was…residency. Meredith felt she had to get to the hospital at 4am in order to be on the service of who she wanted to and get the good cases, so that's what she did. At 20 weeks, her belly was unable to hide itself anymore, but her patients loved seeing their pregnant resident every morning. She became their favorite as they asked about the baby, despite Mer feeling unprofessional about all of it. It wasn't every day that there was a knocked up resident in the program, she thought, as she rolled her eyes to herself.

Getting to do surgery was always such an exciting thing, as they were now advanced enough to be trusted with a scalpel. The ER was always a punishment, stitching up little cuts, but the day Meredith was asked to scrub in on her first craniotomy was like Christmas day. She spent all day researching the procedure, even though she knew It like the back of her hand.

The day came for her big surgery and as she scrubbed in and came into the OR, her eyes flicked up to the gallery. Derek, Addison, and Mark all sat there, and she swallowed thickly, nervous all of a sudden. She knew they were both rooting for her to succeed and waiting for her to fail. As she made the first cut, she could hear everyone cheering and howling in the gallery, and she wanted to step away and sink into the floor, waiting for it to swallow her whole.

She managed to get through the surgery, assisting Dr. Fredrick, and as she closed, everyone came another cheer. She caught Derek's eye as he clapped, proud of his wife, and she scrubbed out, meeting him in the hallway.

"My wife is on her way to being a badass neurosurgeon," he told her, locking her in a kiss.

"Mmm my husband is on his way to being one too," she smiled, pressing her forehead against his. Inbetween them, she could feel their daughter kicking and she laughed, looking down.

"Someone agrees with both of us!" she laughed, pressing his hands to the spot. He remembered Gracie kicking, but it had been so long since she had been born that he teared up.

"It's such an amazing and powerful feeling, feeling your baby kick for the first time," he told her, giving her another kiss

"It really is," she smiled, wanting this moment to last forever. Of course, it had to be broken by Derek's pager going off, and he groaned.

"One of my patients is coding," he said, giving her another kiss before running off. She sighed, shaking her head a bit before she accompanied her post-op patient to the recovery room.

* * *

They had worked it out so they always had Saturdays off together to spend as a family. The new house was finished, surrounded by nothing but land, and that Saturday they wanted to explore. It was raining lightly but neither of them cared, as they bundled Grace into something warm with her adorable lady bug raincoat and matching rain boots. Meredith was more practical, opting for warm thermals with her usual leggings and a Dartmouth shirt, a fleece underneath her jacket with worn rainboots. She wasn't going to miss exploring their land for anything.

When they were ready they left the house, heading down the dirt road away from the house, Grace walking inbetween them. There were so many places to go, but Derek had a place in mind. They headed up a trail that led them up a hill a ways beyond the house, and after what seemed like hours they reached the top. Grace was tired and wanted Derek to carry her, so he did as they reached the top, and Meredith gasped. There were no trees, but there were gorgeous, 360 views of Seattle, and she pushed back the hood of her coat a bit, not even caring that her hair was getting wet.

"It's so gorgeous," she smiled, slowly turning around in a smile. She would always be that girl from Boston, but she knew she would learn to love Seattle for all it's rain and beauty. Mount Rainier was in the distance, begging to be climbed with it's snow-capped peak, and the entire view was unspoiled by anything. She could pick out the hospital easily, despite it being so far away from where they were, and the space needle dominated the skyline.

"Isn't it beautiful? I loved this land the moment I saw the view," he told her, coming up behind her. Grace had fallen asleep on his shoulder and Meredith questioned how, in the rain and cold, but she knew kids could sleep anywhere.

"It's perfect," she whispered, not wanting to upset any animal around them with her loud voice. Reaching for his hand, she gently squeezed it. She may not have wanted to come back to Seattle, ever, but this right here was worth it. She could definitely get used to this, the hiking, the beautiful views, getting in touch with nature. Underneath her layers she felt their nameless daughter move and she smiled, looking up at Derek.

"I think I know what I want to name the baby," she told him with a smile.

* * *

 **So I'm finally back to Long Live! I'm about to start my rewrite for Dreams On Fire, under a dfferent title (but you'll be able to tell it's the rewrite because I'll put it in the description), I have another MerDer story in mind, and I'm debating a high school Omelia story because why not? I LOVE Omelia, and if it's high school Derek doesn't have to die! And he won't in these three stories! So come along with me and be patient as I regain my footing**


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